


Your Muse

by Dedica



Series: Eyes On Me [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Violence, Boys In Love, College Student Katsuki Yuuri, Dirty Thoughts, Domestic Fluff, First Dates, First Kiss, Graphic Description, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Victor is an Artist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-21 09:20:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 85,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13737849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dedica/pseuds/Dedica
Summary: College senior Yuuri Katsuki is low on funds and confidence after his loss at the Grand Prix Final. Looking for some extra money, Yuuri accepts a job as a model for Professor Victor Nikiforov's art class.





	1. A Job is a Job

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for this AU while I was on a cruise back in January. There was a beautiful art gallery on board and I had the idea of Victor being an artist. 
> 
> This is going to be the first time in a while that I post anything that I've written so I'm a little nervous and excited! Hope you enjoy this story as much as I've loved to write it! 
> 
> Also, I don't have a beta for this story so if there's mistakes let me know.

_“A great fire burns within me, but no one stops to warm themselves at it, and passers-by only see a wisp of smoke.”_ _  
― Vincent van Gogh_

* * *

No matter how many times Yuuri did the math, he was screwed. He knew his bank account would be worse for wear, but he didn’t think it would be this bad.

“This can’t be right!” Yuuri shrieked at the laptop in front of him. Coming in sixth at the Grand Prix final and placing poorly at Nationals was not a part of Yuuri’s financial plan.

“What is it?” Phichit asked without looking up from his phone.

Yuuri groaned. “I just got my deposit for competing in the Grand Prix.” 

"And? Was it more than you thought?" Phichit sat up from his bed and walked over to Yuuri’s side of the dorm room. The sports dorms were rundown and dingy, but it was home. 

The ten-minute bus ride to campus was only a slight disadvantage considering it was the cheapest housing option around. Detroit Sports College was famous worldwide for its amazing dedication to athlete's education while providing top-notch training facilities. What they don't advertise is their subpar housing options. 

“No,” Yuuri huffed, “Less. Much less.” 

“Ouch.” Phichit placed a supportive hand on his friend’s shoulder. “At least your tuition and coaching fees have been paid already. Will you be able to make it till the sponsorship grants get released?” 

One of the benefits of going to a sports college meant that students in need were more likely to get a grant or sponsorship while studying. Coach Celestino worked hard to make sure all of his students had income from both since winning competitions was not the most reliable income.

“I don’t think so. After I pay off my rent and textbooks for this semester, I’ll only have a few hundred dollars left.” Yuuri worked his ass off in school and at the rink to ensure he kept his scholarship and bursaries. 

His parents ran the last hot springs resort in his hometown, Hasetsu. If it weren't for his mother’s amazing cooking, Yu-topia would have closed down years ago. 

It was Yuuri’s dream to move to America to further his figure skating career, but his parents could barely afford to lose his help running the inn. They sacrificed so much over the years to support his dream, and now that he was at the end of his degree he choked. 

"I'm sure you'll think of something," Phichit said while making himself comfortable on Yuuri’s bed. "Maybe talk to Celestino? He may know of some part-time work through the school!"

“Phichit,” Yuuri could hear the defeat in his voice. “I can barely keep up with school and practice as it is. I can’t have a repeat of this season, and there’s no way I can afford to lose my scholarship. Adding a job to the mix would only make things worse.” 

Yuuri could feel the panic rise in his chest. _Breathe. Deep breaths._

The words of his councillor echoed in his head. Yuuri’s anxiety has plagued him since he was young. When he started college in Detroit, it was his coach that pushed him to see a counsellor in his first year. Dr. Carter has been able to help Yuuri for the last four years managing his anxiety. Without her, he wasn't sure how he'd be able to handle the stress of maintaining a 4.0 average while competing as a professional athlete. 

“Hey, it’s going to be ok.” Phichit inched closer to put a supportive hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Email Celestino. I’m sure he’ll be able to help you think of something.”

“Okay.” Yuuri breathed and pulled up a blank email.

 

TO: [ccialdin@dscollege.com](mailto:ccialdin@dcollege.com)

FROM: [ykatsuki@dscollege.com](mailto:ykatsuki@dcollege.com)

DATE: January 3rd, 2013 2:14 pm EST

 

Subject: Any Suggestions?

 

Hi Celestino,

I was talking to Phichit, and he suggested I reach out to you – are you aware of any part-time student positions through the school? I'm in need of some extra money before our next sponsorship comes in. Are you aware of anything that won’t interfere with school and practice too much? Maybe something on campus? If you have any suggestions, let me know…

Thanks,

Yuuri

 

It wasn’t until later that evening while Yuuri and Phichit were watching The King and the Skater for the thousandth time that Yuuri heard back from Celestino.

 

TO: [ykatsuki@dscollege.com](mailto:ykatsuki@dcollege.com)

FROM: [ccialdin@dscollege.com](mailto:ccialdin@dcollege.com)

DATE: January 3rd, 2013 8:59 EST

 

Subject: FW: Are you still looking?

 

Hi Yuuri,

See the below emails.

C

 

TO: [vnikiforov@dscollege.com](mailto:vnikiforov@dcollege.com)

FROM: [ccialdin@dscollege.com](mailto:ccialdin@dcollege.com)

DATE: January 3rd, 2013 2:26 EST

 

Subject: Are you still looking?

 

Hi Victor,

 

Are you still looking for a student to fill a position for your figure drawing class? I know you asked before the winter break, but I didn’t think any of my students would be interested then. It's recently come to my attention that one of my skaters is in need of a job that won’t interfere too much with his busy schedule. He’s in his 5th year, and I remember you mentioned you were looking for an older student to fill the posting? He has my highest recommendation. Let me know ASAP.

 

Regards,

Celestino Cialdini

Detroit Sports College: Sports Coordinator – Figure skating

DCR room 102A

X24601

 

 

TO: [ccialdin@dscollege.com](mailto:ccialdin@dcollege.com)

FROM: [vnikiforov@dscollege.com](mailto:vnikiforov@dcollege.com)

DATE: January 3rd, 2013 8:33 PM EST

 

Subject: RE: Are you still looking?

 

Hi Celestino,

Happy New Year! Hope you had a great holiday and that your break was a relaxing one!

I just finished my interviews today. However, if this student of yours is interested, have him drop by my office tomorrow! I’ll be in my office from about 10AM-1PM. I have to let the candidates know before classes start on the 7th. 

 

Professor Victor Nikiforov PhD

Detroit Sports College’s School of the Arts

Living Arts Building room 203

x27564

 

 _Professor Victor Nikiforov… where have I heard that name before?_ Phichit was a third-year art major. If anyone would know who he was, it would be Phichit.

“Did Ciao Ciao get back to you?” Phichit asked, pausing the movie.

Yuuri reread the email thread on his phone before answering. “Yeah, it looks like some arts prof is interviewing to hire a student?”

“Ooo which one! I know all the profs. Is it Professor Kim or maybe Professor Coleman?”

“Umm Professor Nikiforov?” Yuuri hesitated, hoping he pronounced the name correctly. It sounded familiar, but he couldn’t place a face to the name. Yuuri’s thoughts were cut short by Phichit’s giddy shrieks.

“You never listen when I talk!" Phichit shot up nearly knocking the laptop between them off the bed. “He’s the sexy Russian prof I told you about in first semester! I didn’t want to take figure drawings while boring old McDonald taught it, so I took an extra sculpting course instead, but boy did I regret that! When Professor McDonald retired they hired Professor Nikiforov as his replacement, and figure drawings went from the most undesirable elective to the number one waitlisted course in the art department! Half the program goes to his 8:30 lecture just to stare at his beautiful face! You have to go super early for a seat.” 

“Oh, that’s the class you get up crazy early for. But I thought you were in the class?”

Phichit blushed. “No, I’m not. But when I’m in a rut for my masterpiece, I sometimes go the figure drawing lecture for inspiration!” Phichit was always working on a “masterpiece.” Sometimes he’d stay up for nights on end to work on them. Half the time though something went wrong, and he'd end up scrapping the project and starting over from scratch. It drove Yuuri nuts, but despite his roommate’s crazy quirks, Phichit was his best friend. “Professor Nikiforov is the definition of male beauty. Better than Michelangelo’s David.”

Yuuri sighed. “Okay I get it he’s good looking, but what kind of position would he be hiring for?” Although Yuuri appreciated Phichit’s enthusiasm, he was more concerned about job posting rather than the man he’d be working for. The email was fairly vague which didn’t sit well with Yuuri. 

“Probably models for the sketching portion of the course. Half that course is theory based; the other is in the studio."

 _There’s no way any sane person would pick you to be a model._ _You’re an athlete technically, but other than your skating physique you’re exceptionally ordinary looking._ _Crap! I wonder if Celestino could find something else…_

“I know that look, Yuuri Katsuki, and I don’t care what you think! You have to try! Maybe he’s not looking for a model? Maybe he needs a teaching assistant for something like grading tests. But for my sake, please go!”

“Even if he was looking for a TA, I know nothing about art. I’m a business major!” Yuuri hoped that by getting a business degree, he’d be able to help the hot spring do better as a thank you to his parents for their constant support. 

“It doesn’t matter! Most of our tests are multiple choice and short answer anyways. A monkey could mark those. When’s the interview?”

"He didn't give a specific time, but it says in the email that he will be in his office from 10 AM to 1 PM tomorrow and for me to stop by."

“Want me to come with you?” Phichit was still overly excited by this situation panting in short quick breaths. Yuuri was starting to wonder if his friend was going to pass out from the exertion.

“No, it’s fine. Don’t you have to work on your masterpiece before that art gallery deadline anyways? I thought the supplies you ordered online were arriving tomorrow.” Phichit had been stressed about this project for weeks. Since the Grand Prix ended, Phichit had dedicated all his free time to his piece. He was really hoping that one of his works would be chosen to be displayed at the student art gallery. Only twenty new submissions were selected for display each year, and Phichit was determined to get one of his masterpieces chosen.

“Gah, I hate it when you're right.” Phichit pouted making Yuuri smile. “But if it comes before you go to your interview, I’m coming with you!”

* * *

At 10:30 AM the next day Yuuri was on the bus to campus alone. Phichit begged him to wait a little longer for the post, but Yuuri wanted to make sure he’d make it in time to see Professor Nikiforov. Yuuri realized that even if Professor Nikiforov was hiring a model he had to at least try for the position. Realistically a few hours of mindless work between classes and practice wasn't that hard to manage, and Yuuri could really use the money. If Celestino suggested it, it meant he thought he at least had a chance at the job. _Right?_

When Yuuri got off the bus, he took a moment to admire the snow-covered campus. Most of the students were still on winter break, so the grounds were quiet without the hubbub of people rushing to and from classes. Although the sports college was small, it had been home for the last four years.

Since the campus was technically still closed, the walkways on the grounds had yet to be plowed, forcing Yuuri to walk on the streets instead. He regretted not wearing his winter boots. Yuuri thought it would be best to dress in his suit and dress shoes for the interview. He could at least try to look the part of a model even if he knew he could never pull it off. However, trudging in the snow with freezing wet feet was slowly shattering his confidence. He’d been trying to exude confidence, even though he had none of late.

 _You can do this Yuuri! Just relax and do your best to sound impressive in this interview. You won’t get frostbite from this little exposure. Just keep walking and do your best to avoid the slush._ His counsellor taught him this trick in his first year when he was stressing about exams. So long as he kept telling himself, he would do well and stay calm all his studying and hard work would pay off. This interview was no different. _Right?_

Yuuri could see the art building approaching, and he tried to get his nerves in check. _Alright, just a few more steps Yuuri. All you got to do is climb up those steps, open that front door, and find office 203._ The Living Arts Building was the only arts building on campus. It was nicknamed the LAB even though no science ever took place within its walls. It was one of the largest buildings on campus at seven stories high.

Yuuri climbed the steps slowly so not to fall from a hidden ice patch. Taking a moment to collect himself Yuuri attempted to tame his windblown hair in the reflection of the window before reaching for the door handle. When Yuuri met the resistance of the locked door, his heart sank. _This door can’t be locked!_

Trying not to panic Yuuri looked around for another entrance, but he didn’t want to get his dress pants anymore wet from the snow. After knocking on the glass for a few minutes, Yuuri gave up. Not seeing any other option, Yuuri hiked up his dress pants and went in search of a side entrance. He knew Phichit had a key card to the side entrance in order to access the studio after hours, a privilege every art major had access too. _Crap!_ _Why didn’t I think to ask him for his key card!_

When Yuuri got to the side entrance and found it too locked, he began to panic. This time instead of just knocking on the window Yuuri tried kicking the door while yelling for help. Just when he was about to give up, Yuuri saw a figure walking towards him from the other end of the hallway. A middle-aged woman, possibly the custodian of the building, opened the door with a smile. "No need to break the door down my dear. I may be slow, but I'm not deaf."

"Thanks." Yuuri blushed while brushing past the woman. By now his leather shoes and were completely soaked and full of snow. He was freezing and shaking from the cold and from the panic of not being able to access the building. "Would you be able to direct me to room 203?"

With a nod, the woman gave Yuuri directions to the stairwell that lead to where he was going. He had been in the Living Arts Building before with Phichit on occasion, but he never really paid attention to where they were going. The building was set up like a maze with so many twists and corridors that seemed to lead nowhere. The architect seemed to take into account that the building would be used for the arts program and made it as modern and difficult to navigate as possible.

Taking two steps at a time, Yuuri rushed to find room 203. _A minor setback, but that’s okay. You can still do this!_ It didn’t take long for Yuuri to find room 203. Yuuri took a moment to collect himself. He took off his jacket, adjusted his hair one more time, and with more confidence than he felt, he knocked on the door.

* * *

Victor was staring at the empty sketch pad below him. It had been almost a month since he was able to sketch anything that wasn’t Makkachin or worth keeping.

Not that his beloved poodle wasn't worth sketching. Victor already had about eight sketchbooks dedicated to his poodle alone but if he was to go anywhere with his career as a painter he needed more than just his dog as inspiration.

The custodian that worked on his floor complained daily about the amount of crumpled paper and disposable coffee cups that littered the floor around the overflowing garbage bin under his desk. No matter what he tried, nothing seemed to work.

Victor had expected his move to Detroit to be just the change he was looking for. After finishing his Ph.D. in Moscow last April, Victor found it hard to start a new project. Everything he started ended up in the garbage for one reason or another.

Painting was his passion for years, but there seemed to be a block where his creative juices flowed. He accepted the teaching position at Detroit Spots College since it was a secure job that his friend Chris had helped him land.

Chris and Victor were roommates in Victors third year of University. Chris had been in Moscow on an exchange, and the two became best friends within the first week. With a flair for the theatrics and a love of travel, Chris decided to do his masters of Sociology at a small sports university in Detroit. It had a fantastic skating facility that allowed him to practice and compete while working on his degree.

So long as Chris stayed in school, his parents would wire him a generous monthly allowance to spend on whatever he wanted. When Victor told Chris about his rut, he encouraged Victor to apply for an open teaching position, and the rest was history.

Leaving Russia was tougher than he thought it would be. His younger brother Yuri was furious with him and refused to talk to him in the weeks leading up to his move. Victor knew it was the right decision as St. Petersburg held too many bad memories for him, but it was hard to see Yuri so upset. He was often a broody teen, but not with Victor.

Despite being over ten years apart, the two were extremely close. Before he left, Victor made sure to shove all the sketches he made of possible costumes for Yuri’s next competitive year. Their adoptive father Yakov was a figure skating coach by trade and insisted both his sons practice the sport upon adopting them. Victor was fifteen at the time making it impossible for him to compete seriously. Yuri, on the other hand, was only four and fell in love with the ice. Yuri always had Victor design his costumes for him, and with his senior debut on the horizon, he knew his leaving was not ideal for his younger brother.

Suddenly a knock at the door kicked him out of his thoughts. It only took Victor a few seconds to close the sketch pad in front of him and force a polite smile. “Come in!”

Before glancing at the door, Victor looked at the time on his phone to see that almost an hour had passed since he had tried and failed to start sketching. Trying to hide his frustration with the situation that had become his life, Victor made eye contact with the man standing in his office.

For a moment both men simply gawked at one another in silence. Victor forced himself to exhale the breath he didn’t realize he was holding upon seeing the man in front of him. He had dark hair and cute blue glasses that were falling from the bridge of his nose. His eyes were brown and blown wide, and his face was flushed from the cold. It took him only a few seconds to collect himself, but at that time, he could feel the dam blocking his artistic flow shatter.

“H-How can I help you?” Victor had no idea why this awe-inspiring man was standing in his office, but he hoped he stay long enough for him to memorize the angles of face to sketch later. He was too old to be one of the first or second-year students he was scheduled to teach this semester, and he didn't recognize him from any of his classes.

“Um hi Professor Nikiforov, I’m Yuuri Katsuki, I’m here for the interview?”

 _Yuri…_ Victor wasn’t sure if it was because of the cold outside, but there was an adorable flush upon this man cheeks that dipped all the way down his neck. He allowed himself to give the man a once over. It was obvious that Yuuri was not dressed for the weather outside. The jacket he clutched in his arms still had snow clinging to the fabric, and his pants and shoes were dripping water onto the floor where he stood. The suit he was wearing was a simple off the rack style, and the blue tie he wore was hideous. Despite all that, Victor thought he was stunning. 

“Please, call me Victor. Professor Nikiforov makes me feel old," Victor said as he reached to shake the man’s hand. “I know I had a bunch of interviews yesterday, but I don’t think I had anyone booked for today?” Upon letting go of Yuuri’s hand, Victor could feel his fingers twitch with the excitement to sketch. It had been a long time since he felt the rush of inspiration course through him simply from meeting someone. It warmed him in a way he didn't realize he was missing. Like when you’ve been out in the cold for so long, and you don’t feel the temperature difference until you go back inside and thaw your bones. 

"Um, my coach emailed you yesterday. Coach Celestino?” Yuuri looked like a deer in headlights standing in front of Victor's desk.

“Oh right! Sorry, I’m pretty forgetful sometimes. Please have a seat. Is it still snowing out there?” Victor gestured to one of the empty seats in front of his desk. His office wasn’t small, but the large L shape desk did take up most of the space in the room.

Yuuri seemed to hesitate a moment before he dropped his gaze and sat in the chair hugging his jacket like a lifeline. “Yeah, I mean yes! Not as bad as yesterday though.”

“Excellent! I didn’t want to have to dig my car out again to get home! Although this snow is nothing compared to the snow, we get back home. I’m from Russia if you can’t already tell by my accent.” The more Victor talked, the more Yuuri seemed to relax. The sight warmed Victor, so he kept talking. “You know, my younger brother's name is Yuri too. This is him.” Victor turned the framed picture on his desk. Yuuri leaned closer to view the picture. "I know. Before you ask, its true we look nothing alike, but trust me were blood-related."

“Oh.” The silence dragged out for a few seconds. Realizing he probably wasn't going to get a response Victor decided to get down to business.

“So, you’re interested in the position?” Victor said while opening his laptop to pull up his interview questions from the day before.

“Oh. I mean yes. I am.” Yuuri met Victor's gaze. They lock eyes again, and it took Yuuri a moment to continue. “But um, Celestino didn’t exactly tell me what the position was for exactly.”

Victor laughed and raised an eyebrow. “But you’re interested?”

“Um yes?”

“Well then, let me give you more information, then let me know what you think.” Victor pauses before diving into his pitch. "I teach first and second-year figure drawing. That means I need a live model in order to lead the sketch portion of the class. I have four classes. Two are beginner level, and two are advanced. You would be required to attend all the studio classes for each session. That’s about four to six hours a week. In the first week of the class, you would be required to model for a portrait only. All you have to do is show up and smile. After that, we hit the ground running with gesture drawings for a few weeks. Before each class, you will receive an email containing a PDF of the different poses expected to be modelled that week. You’d be required hold those poses for about 5-10 minutes while the students sketch them. The point is for them to capture as much of the human form as they can in that short amount of time. Since they need to capture the essence of the human body in these poses, you would be required to have as much skin exposed as possible without being fully nude. You with me so far?” Yuuri nods his head but doesn’t say anything his eyes never leaving Victors.

"After a few weeks of this, we move on to more advanced figure drawing which would require you to pose nude in the same position for the entire class. You will have a ten-minute break in the middle of the class to move or stretch, but I will need to mark your body with tape to ensure you resume the same position. For instants, if your right hand is resting on your hip, I'll put some tape on your hip so that you can go back to the same pose after the break. I also have to mention that the best of these drawings will be showcased at the end of the year in our student showcase. You’ll be paid 300 dollars a week which equals to $75 a class. Since you would be the only subject for the class, it is imperative that you do not miss any of the classes. The studio classes don’t start until the second week, so I haven’t booked the time yet. I’m flexible with your schedule so long as you can commit to the same times every week. Each student has to sign up individually for the studio time, so we don’t have to worry about working around the student’s timetables. After all that, are you still interested?”  

* * *

It was only after he heard the word nude that Yuuri thought he felt the blood drain from his face. _I don’t think I can do this._

It was the mention of payment that kept him rooted to the chair. _$1200 a month for only 24 hours worked? There’s no way you’ll ever get that much money for so little effort. Plus, he said I can make my own schedule. I have to land this job even if I have to sing and dance naked while wearing a fedora._ “Yeah, it sounds like the perfect job for me.”

Victor raised an eyebrow. “Good. I could tell most of the people I interviewed weren’t fully comfortable with the job, but you didn’t cringe or leave the room, so you’re doing better than most.”

At that Yuuri forced himself to sit up straighter to support his case. “I’m fine with it. Plus, with my background in figure skating and ballet, I'm very comfortable with holding poses." 

“Figure skating and ballet? Impressive.” The smile that spread across Victors face made Yuuri’s heart skip a beat, but something in his eyes made Yuuri pause. For a split second, Yuuri could have sworn he saw pain flash across his features.

“Thanks.” After a beat, Yuuri asked, “Do you have any other questions for me?”

Victor blinked a few times before turning to his laptop. “I guess I should even though I’m pretty sure I’m going to offer you the job without the answers to these questions. The only question I have for you is why do you need this job. Based on your coach’s email you seem to be in need of a job on short notice. Did something happen?”

Out of all the questions he prepared for, Yuuri wasn't expecting this one. "Well, if I can be honest with you I haven't needed a job till now. I have almost a full scholarship, and I get decent money from my sponsors for figure skating. Up until this season I also placed decently in the competitions I competed in giving me more than enough money to cover all my expenses with even some to send home. However, the last few didn't go so well, and now well here I am.”

"Are your parents not in a predicament to assist you financially?"

Yuuri cringed. “No. But even if they were, I’d never ask. They’ve done so much for me already I couldn’t burden them with the extra stress.”

A small smile tugged at Victor's lips. "You and I seem to be cut from the same cloth.” Victors eye darted to his computer screen, and he pulled up a blank email. “What’s your email, Yuri?”

 _There’s no way you and I are even cut from the same universe._ Pushing that thought aside, Yuuri spelled out his email as Victor typed it out. “What do you need that for?”

"To send you your contact as well as the information for the first class. That is… if you'll accept the offer." Victor winked, and Yuuri felt his heart melt.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things to note. 
> 
> First, Victor is not Yuuri's skating idol in this story. Although Yuuri could have gotten a poodle without Victor's influence for the sake of this story sadly, there is no Vicchan. :( 
> 
> Second, because there is no Vicchan, there needs to be another reason why Yuuri did poorly in the last competitive year so stay tuned! 
> 
> Third, I love the use of social media in the show, but it doesn't really work with this story. Instead, I've decided to utilize email as I believe email is more appropriate for an academic setting. This won't be the main focus of communication, but in the first couple chapters, there will be some conversational emails back and forth. If this bothers you, just read through the conversation parts and ignore the email format. 
> 
> Fourth, while researching for this story, I found out that Yuuri didn't actually study in Detroit like I originally thought. In this show, he studies in Japan but trains in Detroit? Didn't know you could do that, so my idea of a sports college is loosely based off of what I know about sports schools in the states, and it's totally fictional. Not sure if it makes a big difference but the school structure is based on my University experience in Canada. It's my story I'll do what I want!
> 
> If you've made it this far let me know what you think by shooting me a comment!


	2. With Passion Once Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _"There is also a third kind of madness, which is possession by the Muses, enters into a delicate and virgin soul, and there inspiring frenzy, awakens lyric....But he, who, not being inspired and having no touch of madness in his soul, comes to the door and thinks he will get into the temple by the help of art--he, I say, and his poetry are not admitted; the sane man is nowhere at all when he enters into rivalry with the madman."_  
>  ― Plato, Phaedo

* * *

The rest of the meeting was a bit of a blur. Yuuri remembered thanking Professor Nikiforov multiple times before he left.  _“If you keep calling me Professor Nikiforov, I may reconsider.”_  

It was weird to call a professor by their first name. However, Prof… Victor didn’t look like the rest of the profs on campus. His gorgeous looks aside, he was probably the youngest faculty member at the school. Yuuri guessed he was in his late twenties which made it easier to justify calling him by his first name.  _He can’t be that much older than you._

By the time Yuuri got home, he was completely frozen, and Phichit was covered in what looked like plaster. Anxious to start thawing his feet, Yuuri stripped out of his suit, changed into comfy clothes, and wrapped himself in his duvet. He was careful not to get any of the white chunks that covered his roommate, and the smock covered floor on his suit and hung it to dry off his desk chair. 

"You look cold," Phichit noted while getting up from his workstation. Since their dorm room was small, Phichit often preferred to work in the studios on campus. However, since the campus was closed for the winter break and it had been snowing every day Phichit opted to work from the dorm instead.

"Freezing. My shoes and socks got soaked before I even made it to the bus, and when I got onto campus, the walkways were still covered in snow. How's your masterpiece coming along?"

"I told you to wear something more suitable for the weather. Most people in that building wear paint covered shirts and jeans on a daily basis. Occupational hazard."

Yuuri grabbed his laptop and made himself comfy in bed. "Well, I wanted to at least dress the part for my interview."

“Speaking of said interview, how did it go!”

“I got the job.” Yuuri beamed. Although he wasn’t fully sold on the whole nudity business a job is a job. Growing up in an onsen meant that the idea of being naked in front of people wasn’t totally foreign. At least he had a few weeks before he had to model naked to get comfortable with the idea. 

“That’s great Yuuri! I’d hug you, but...” Phichit gestured to his plaster covered smock.

“You better not get any of the stuff on my bed again. The dryers downstairs aren’t working again, and I don’t want to lug my sheets to that grungy laundry mat down the street if I can help it.”

“I’m being extra careful I promise.” Phichit hummed, whipping his hands on a cloth and grabbing a mixing bowl. “Look I’m even mixing the plaster at the desk instead of walking around the room with it. What did you think of Professor Nikiforov, isn’t he just perfect?”

Yuuri didn't know how to respond. Was Victor good looking, yes, but for Yuuri looks weren't everything. "If you mean perfectly nice, then yes."

Phichit stops his mixing to look up at Yuuri and places a hand on his hip. “I know you need glasses to see, but don’t tell me your eyes are that bad Yuuri.”

“He is attractive, I’ll give you that, but nobody’s perfect.”

Phichit huffed. “You’re no fun you know that? I didn’t mean literally perfect but in the figurative sense. Like his body is a work of art from the heavens and his accent could melt stone.” 

Yuuri smiles, “I know. It’s just fun to see you get so riled up.” 

“Mark my words Yuuri Katsuki, the more time you spend with Professor Nikiforov, the more those beautiful blue eyes will get to you, and when you fall madly in love with him you will eat your words!”

* * *

TO: [ykatsuki@dscollege.com](mailto:ykatsuki@dcollege.com)

FROM: [vnikiforov@dscollege.com](mailto:vnikiforov@dcollege.com)

DATE: January 4th, 2013 1:42 PM EST

 

Subject: Contract & Paper Work

 

Hi Yuri!

 

It was great meeting you today and I look forward to working with you this semester! Attached you’ll find the contract and paperwork you will need to fill out before our first studio class. You will need to hand in these forms ASAP to Anita – she is the School of the Arts secretary located in LAB 101. She always has different colored hair, but I think its purple right now?

I also forgot to ask you for your availability. Let me know as soon as you can so I can book the studio. My lectures are scheduled in LAB 147 on Monday and Wednesdays from 8:30 AM – 9:30 AM and 10:30 AM – 11:30 AM. You do not need to attend any of these lectures, but I'd suggest attending at least one of the classes in the first week to give you a better idea of the course. If you plan to attend any, let me know and I will make sure I save you a seat as my lectures are always over capacity! 

Good luck with the first week of classes and I hope to hear from you soon! Don’t hesitate to email me if you have any questions/concerns. 

Victor

 

Professor Victor Nikiforov PhD

Detroit Sports College’s School of the Arts

Living Arts Building room 203

x27564

 

TO: [vnikiforov@dscollege.com](mailto:vnikiforov@dcollege.com)

FROM: [ykatsuki@dscollege.com](mailto:ykatsuki@dcollege.com)

DATE: January 4th, 2013 2:23 PM EST

 

Subject: RE: Contract & Paper Work

 

Hi Victor,

Thank you again for choosing me for the position. I have printed the documents you sent, and I will hand them to Anita on Monday.

Since I’m in my fifth year, I don’t have a full course load. I have classes Mondays 12:30 PM – 1:30 PM, Wednesdays 10:30 AM – 11:30 PM and 7:00 PM – 10:00 PM, and Thursdays 1:30 PM to 2:30 PM. I have practice Monday – Friday from 3:30 PM – 6:30 PM. I’m available to work any day in between my classes and practice. If you have a preference let me know as you probably know best. As for attending one of your classes I’d be happy too. If you could save me a seat in your Monday class at 10:30 AM that would be great.

Thanks,

Yuuri

 

TO: [ykatsuki@dscollege.com](mailto:ykatsuki@dcollege.com)

FROM: [vnikiforov@dscollege.com](mailto:vnikiforov@dcollege.com)

DATE: January 4th, 2013 2:39 PM EST

 

Subject: RE: Contract & Paper Work

 

Hi Yuuri,

Sorry! Didn't realize you spelled Yuri with an extra U!

Your class schedule seems pretty awesome! Nothing too early and only one-night class. I wish I had your scheduled when I was a student!

Since you have Tuesdays and Fridays off, I’m assuming you will want those days to relax or to catch up on work. How about we schedule studio classes on Monday, Wednesday, and two on Thursdays? The studio classes are scheduled for 1.5 hours but we usually only need an hour. Let me know what works for you, and we’ll go from there.

Victor

 Professor Victor Nikiforov PhD

Detroit Sports College’s School of the Arts

Living Arts Building room 203

x27564

 

TO: [vnikiforov@dscollege.com](mailto:vnikiforov@dcollege.com)

FROM: [ykatsuki@dscollege.com](mailto:ykatsuki@dcollege.com)

DATE: January 4th, 2013 2:52 PM EST

 

Subject: RE: Contract & Paper Work

 

Hi Victor,

That’s ok – I’m assuming your brother spells Yuuri with one u then? 

I can’t complain about my schedule this semester however last year it was brutal. I wanted to try and finish my degree last year, so I took on an extra course even though my coach advised against it. I was able to keep my grades up, but my skating suffered for it.

Actually, I would prefer to book them on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays if that's ok? Sometimes for competitions, I need to miss my Monday classes. The times don't really matter to me as long as they aren't too early and as long as I have enough time to get to practice and class. 

Thanks,

Yuuri

 

TO: [ykatsuki@dscollege.com](mailto:ykatsuki@dcollege.com)

FROM: [vnikiforov@dscollege.com](mailto:vnikiforov@dcollege.com)

DATE: January 4th, 2013 3:03 PM EST

 

Subject: RE: Contract & Paper Work

Hi Yuuri, 

Yes, he does!

Sorry to hear about your previous season. I’m sure if you train hard you’ll do amazing this year!

No problem! Can we schedule for Tuesdays 10:30 AM – 12:00 PM & 1:30 PM – 3:00 PM, Wednesday 1:30 PM – 3:00 PM, and Thursdays 11:30 AM - 1:00 PM?

Victor 

 

Professor Victor Nikiforov PhD

Detroit Sports College’s School of the Arts

Living Arts Building room 203

x27564

 

TO: [vnikiforov@dscollege.com](mailto:vnikiforov@dcollege.com)

FROM: [ykatsuki@dscollege.com](mailto:ykatsuki@dcollege.com)

DATE: January 4th, 2013 3:17 PM EST

 

Subject: RE: Contract & Paper Work

Hi Victor,

Sure, that works for me.

Thanks,

 Yuuri

 

TO: [ykatsuki@dscollege.com](mailto:ykatsuki@dcollege.com)

FROM: [vnikiforov@dscollege.com](mailto:vnikiforov@dcollege.com)

DATE: January 4th, 2013 3:22 PM EST

 

Subject: RE: Contract & Paper Work

 

Great! I’ll schedule the studio times now. See you Monday at 10:30!

 

Professor Victor Nikiforov PhD

Detroit Sports College’s School of the Arts

Living Arts Building room 203

x27564

* * *

Yuuri got up early on Monday so he could hand in his paperwork. When he got to the administrative office, however, there was line spanning the length of the building. Yuuri cursed himself.  _It the first day of classes Yuuri, of course, there's a line a mile long._  Taking his chances, Yuuri decided to wait in line as long as possible before Victors class. Since Victor was holding him a seat he didn't see the harm in sneaking in with a few minutes to spare if it meant avoiding having to wait in this line again. Luckily after a few minutes, Yuuri saw a woman with green hair leave the office. Remembering what Victor said about Anita having crazy colored hair he weighed his options and darted out of the line to catch up with the woman. "Excuse me! You don't happen to be Anita, would you?"

Anita turned to face Yuuri. She had a red and black plaid dress on, with black knee-high boots, and a purple sweater wrapped around her waist. "Can I help you?" She had an empty mug in her hand and from the looks of it, she was on her way to the staff lounge.

“I was told to drop off some forms with you.” Yuuri quickly unzipped his backpack to get out the forms.

“Let me guess, Yuuri Katsuki?" Anita raised an eyebrow and reached out for the paperwork with her empty hand.

“Yeah, how did you..”

"Victor all about assaulted me in the parking lot this morning to tell me you'd most likely be dropping by today with these." As she spoke, Anita flipped through the forms to make sure everything was filled out correctly. "He asked as a special favor that I make sure to process your paperwork quickly so there are no delays in your pay. Leave these with me and I'll make sure to process them after I get my coffee." Anita waved the empty mug at him. "The first day of classes are always the worst. I'm on my third cup."

Dumbfounded Yuuri didn’t know how to respond. “He did what?”

"Don't worry about it Kiddo, I owe him one anyway. Take care!" Without another word Anita turned and walked a few doors down to the staff lounge. Yuuri just stood there for a few minutes to process. Before long the hallways began to fill students exiting classes. Yuuri checked the time on his phone and started walking toward Victor's class.

When Yuuri got to the lecture theatre, Victor was already at the front of the class fiddling with the AV equipment. He kept looking at the blank projector screen behind him and the laptop in front of him. Taking pity on him, Yuuri made his way to the stage to offer his assistance. 

“What is it with professors never being able to work the projector the first day?” Yuuri teased. When Victor looked up at him the look of frustration that marred his face disappeared and was replaced with a brilliant smile.

“Oh Yuuri, glad you made it! I swear I had it working for my 8:30 class, but whatever prof that was in here after me messed everything up and I can’t get the projector to connect to my laptop!” Yuuri noticed the charcoal stains on his fingers as Victor continued to fiddle with the cords.

“Did you check the connection?” Yuuri asked while walking toward the podium. “Sometimes profs connect their laptops through the podium screens instead of the HDMI cord.”

“Gah I hate it when they change the settings on me. Why do they have to have so many options?" Victor said as he joined Yuuri at the podium. Sure enough, within a few minutes, Victor and Yuuri were able to adjust the settings, and the projector screen turned on to mirror Victors power point on the laptop. 

“You’re my hero Yuuri, thank you! I saved you a seat with my jacket in the front row.” Victor pointed to a seat on the far right with a black overcoat and a red scarf hanging off the back. “If you can stay for a bit after the class is done I want to go over a few things with you.”

“Sure, no problem.” Yuuri made his way over to the saved seat and placed his jacket on top of Victors. Sitting with the bulk of both jackets wasn’t the most comfortable, but Yuuri made due and was thankful for the seat. Looking around the class Yuuri took in just how full the class got in such a short amount of time. There were students in every seat, with others standing in the back and down the aisle. He was sure this violated fire code but didn't say anything. 

"Alright everyone, thanks to our wonderful model this semester, the power point is working so let's get started!" Victor addressed the class while pointing to Yuuri. At that moment, the room went silent and every head in the room turned to face him. He could feel his face heat up from the attention and forced himself to smile and wave. However, as soon as Victor began to speak again all eyes moved back to Victor.

It only took a few words before the entire room was entranced by Victor's lecture. He spoke with such passion and confidence that even if he was speaking Russian the room would still cling to his every word. Victor didn't just go through the syllabus like most profs on the first day. He spoke of figure drawing as if it was the arts passed down by the Gods themselves. His slides were filled with pictures and sketches instead of text, and he got right up to the screen to point out important details. When Yuuri heard the sounds of students packing up he had to double check the time on his phone to see that the forty-five-minute lecture had in fact ended. By the time Yuuri collected his and Victors jackets, there were at least thirty students crowding the stage waiting to talk to Victor. It seemed most of the students wanted to introduce themselves by shaking his hand and saying a few words. Victor didn't seem to mind the delay, but when the professor teaching the next class walked in with the intention of setting up for her own class Victor moved the line of students into the hallway. Yuuri placed himself at the end of the line and waited for Victor to finish.

While he waited in line, Yuuri took the opportunity to study the man he was working for. Victor had pale skin and short silver hair except for one section that hung over the left side of his face. His Russian accent was noticeable, but it wasn’t hard to understand his English. The tone of his voice was strong but soothing like a balm. Yuuri was so distracted by the sound of his voice and watching his lips move that he didn’t realize Victor was finished with his students and speaking to him.

"Ah, thank you for waiting and grabbing my stuff," Victor said as he took his jacket and scarf from Yuuri. "There's always a million questions after the first class. Do you mind if we head up to my office? I have something I want to give to you."

Instead of speaking, Yuuri just nodded and followed Victor to his office. After hearing Victor speak for the last hour, Yuuri felt a little dazed as if his voice had a hypnotic effect. It wasn't a far walk to his office since the stairwell to the second floor was next to the lecture hall they were just in, and Victor's office was only two doors down from the stairwell.

“What did you think of the class? I hope I didn’t bore you.” Victor asked while unlocking his office door.

Still, a little dazed and distracted by Victor's question, Yuuri didn't notice the big ball of fluff until it had already collided with his chest. It took Yuuri a moment to register the dog licking his face since his glasses were knocked off in the process.

“Makkachin! Get off of him!” Victor scolded the poodle while tugging to get him off Yuuri.

Once he got his glasses back, Yuuri giggled and indulged the poodle by scratching his ears. “Its ok, I’m assuming he’s yours?”

"Yeah, he's mine. Sorry about that, I wasn't fast enough. Makkachin go to your bed!" After a beat, the dog obeyed Victor's command and settled down on the dog bed behind Victor's desk. "I decided to walk with him to campus today."

"I love dogs. I always wanted one for myself, but my parents always said no." Yuuri says while taking Victors outstretched hand and picking himself off the floor.

"That's good because you're going to see a lot of him," Victor says as he takes a seat at his desk. "Makkachin’s not as young as he used to be, and I hate leaving him at home alone, so he comes with me to work sometimes.”

“Is that even allowed?” Yuuri asked sitting in the same chair from his interview.

“No.” Victor smiles a brilliant grin. “But Makkachin is easy to love, so everyone turns a blind eye. He gave the custodial staff quite a scare the first time though. Now they bring him treats.”

“Do they bring a tennis ball and play fetch in the hallway too?” Yuuri teased.

"No, but we do play with a Frisbee on the lawn behind the LAB a few times a week. Despite his age, Makkachin has the energy of a puppy and he usually ends up tiring me out instead of the other way around. But I didn’t ask you her to gush about my poodle.” Victor walks a few paces to the large floor to ceiling bookshelf beside his desk. “I wanted to give you this before the first studio class.” The book Victor hands him appears to be well used and in Russian.

Yuuri quickly opened the book and scanned the yellowing pages. “Thanks, but um I don’t think I’ll be able to read this.” 

Victor laughed. “You don’t have to be able to read it. I’m giving it to you since it has a lot of pictures of the poses you’ll have to do after the first week. Like I said in the interview I’ll send you an email with more instructions before each class, but this will give you a general idea of what to expect.”

“Oh, right thank you.” Flipped through the pages, Yuuri noticed that inside were sketches of men and women in different positions at different angles. In the margins, there were also handwritten notes and drawings. "Is this one supposed to be Makkachin?” Yuuri points to a sketch of a dog in the margin with a stick in its mouth.

“Yeah, that’s one of my textbooks from my undergrad.” Yuuri noticed Victor blush. “Ignore all the chicken scratch and just look at the printed pictures.”

“These are good, Victor,” Yuuri says as he scans more of the pages. Almost every page was marked by Victor in some way. If there was room, often where there were printed pictures Victor had his own smaller-scale sketch to match. In some cases, his sketches looked identical to the printed versions. However, the majority of them looked better bringing the figures to life some how. “I don’t know much about sketching, but even I can tell you have talent.”

"Talent only carries you so far. You got to practice and work at something every day to be good at it." Victor paused as he made his way to his desk. When he sat down Yuuri noticed he was staring at the picture of his brother before he spoke again. "I'm sure you can relate sketching to figure skating. Anyone can learn to draw just like anyone can learn to skate, but it's the ones that bear their souls and bleed passion that stands above the rest. No matter how many sketches end up in the trash or however many times you fall you get right back up and push forward. You can't let anything stand in the way of your passion or you'll lose everything you've worked towards." 

Yuuri just stares at Victor who looks unfocused staring at the picture frame on his desk. On so many levels the two men have nothing in common. But hearing Victor compare sketching to figure skating lights a spark in his gut where his love for his sport rests. Over the last few years, focusing on school and winning had dimmed Yuuri's love of the ice. It wasn't until this moment however that he realized he was missing this glow.

“Sorry… I don’t mean to preach.” Victor fiddled with his fingers seemingly snapping out of his thoughts. “I get like that sometimes after a lecture. I get really into it.” When Victor's eyes met Yuuri's, he sees them shine with passion and determination. 

“No, you're right." Yuuri stands, and Victor follows. "I have to get lunch before class, but thanks for the book." Victor smiles and reaches out to shake Yuuri's outstretched hand.

Yuuri can't tell if the jolt he feels in his fingers is static from the chair or not, but he can still feel the pulse of energy flowing in his hand as he leaves the art building and walks towards the food court. For the first time in what felt like weeks, Yuuri was looking forward to his afternoon practice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this took longer than I though... I've technically had this chapter done for over a week but I've been nervous to post it. Theres more emails in this chapter than the last but this won't continue for very much longer. Let me know what you think!


	3. Missing You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _"Some people are truly beautiful. The light of beauty shines through their souls. And the world gets drenched in their inimitable light of love."_  
>  ― Avijeet Das

Instead of killing time between class and practice, Yuuri went to the rink as soon as his lecture let out. The time alone let him stretch and work through his pre-warmup routine alone which he hadn't done in a long time. It also gave him time to reflect on this past season and contemplate exactly what went wrong. The Grand Prix finals and Nationals always coincided with exams. Of course, his exam schedule accommodated his completion schedules best it could, but Yuuri was always a ball of nerves till both were over and done with. The past few years, Yuuri insisted on studying and training in equal parts giving him the confidence to do well in completion and academically.

This past semester, however, Yuuri was more stressed than in his previous years. Taking on an extra course in hindsight wasn't the worst idea he ever had but it definitely messed with his mojo. Yuuri was a creature of habit and practiced poise. The extra course meant extra class time, assignments, midterms, and an extra exam. Yuuri assumed the time would simply come from his free time that he usually spent with Phichit, but it affected so much more. For the entirety of last semester, Yuuri found himself staying later at the library, which meant getting home later and getting to sleep later. Although most people could function easily from eight hours of sleep, Yuuri found he worked best with at least ten. All things considered, it could have been worse.

Coming in sixth at the Grand Prix finals sucked. In the days following, Celestino kept reminding Yuuri that making it to the Grand Prix finals alone was an accomplishment since only the top six skaters compete. Nationals, however, was a different story. Since his Junior debut, Yuuri had placed within the top five skaters at nationals and top three since his training with Celestino. Placing sixth at nationals hurt.

For the first time since training with Celestino, his certainty for the rest of the season was unknown. The next competition was an only a few weeks away, and Yuuri still hadn’t heard from the ISU if he would be selected to compete for his country at Four Continents. To add to his disappointment, Four Continents would be taking place in Osaka, Japan and Minako had already bought tickets to cheer him on. For the last few weeks, it was hard to focus in practice with his failures plaguing his mind. However, today was different.

“Chulanont take a break and do some stretches before you pass out. Katsuki keep up the good work!” Celestino’s voice echoed in the large and semi-empty rink apart from the coach and his two skaters. 

“How are you still standing!” Phichit huffed. “You’ve been here longer than me, and you’re doing so much better!” Sparing a glance at his best friend Yuuri could see Phichit's face was flushed and wet with sweat. His breathing was laboured, and he looked miserable.

Yuuri could feel the ache in his muscles, and each breath he took made his lungs burn, but he was smiling. “I don’t know I just feel good today.”

From across the rink, Celestino yelled, "Glad to hear it Yuuri! Run through both programs again from the beginning and then call it for the day."

After his talk with Victor, Yuuri felt nothing but love for the ice. For the first time in forever, Yuuri was able to just enjoy himself on the ice instead of focusing on getting everything perfect. Letting muscle memory take over Yuuri ran through his programs one last time as instructed.

There was no music playing, but that didn’t matter. Yuuri could feel the music within every twist and spin. The only sounds he could hear he was his heavy breathing and the sound of scraping blades. There were no distractions only himself and the ice.

Yuuri just let his body go unfocused and skated his programs based on feeling. Passion and the love of his sport was flowing through his veins, and he hoped his emotions could be seen in his skating today. Celestino had been hounding him for weeks to dig deep and give it his all if he wanted to continue this season.

When he finished his last spin and ended in his final post for his free skate, Yuuri closed his eyes and just breath in the smell of the ice. He knew he didn’t fall, but other than that, he wasn’t sure how good he did. It was only until he heard the clapping and cheering that he opened his eyes to see his awe-struck Coach and his best friend smiling with his phone directed at Yuuri.

“That was fantastic Yuuri!” Celestino handed Yuuri his skate guards as he stepped off the ice. “Do you realize you just performed both your short and free skate absolutely perfectly? I don’t think I’ve seen a cleaner skate from you this season.”

“I did?” Yuuri put his skate guards on with shaking limbs. The strain and fatigue of the day were finally catching up with him, and he felt like his legs could give out at any minute.

Phichit, having practiced with Yuuri for years now could see his exhaustion and reached out an arm for Yuuri to lean on. “I’ve never seen you skate like that Yuuri! I missed recording most of your short program, but I got a beautiful shot of your free skate! If the ISU saw this, they’d pick you for Four Cotenants for sure!”

“That’s not a bad idea Phichit. Can you send me that vid-”

“It’s already in your inbox Ciao Ciao.” Phichit interrupted with a smirk.

“Can I see it?” Yuuri asked leaning to try and glimpse the phone in Phichit’s hand.

“I’ll show you after you shower. You can hardly stand, and if you want to shower here instead of back at the dorms, we’ll need to wait a bit for your hair to dry. You don’t want it to freeze and break off.” Phichit said while dragging his friend towards to showers.

Yuuri hated the showers back at the dorm. Even if you turned the hot water on full blast at most you would get a lukewarm trickle. The showers at the rink, however, were newly renovated and had multiple settings. After a long day of practice, Yuuri wanted nothing more than to let his body relax under the hot water and steam.

* * *

TO: [ykatsuki@dscollege.com](mailto:ykatsuki@dcollege.com)

FROM: [vnikiforov@dscollege.com](mailto:vnikiforov@dcollege.com)

DATE: January 11th, 2013 6:42 PM EST

 

Subject: Week 1: Portrait Week!

Hi Yuuri!

Hope you’ll get a chance to make use of the book I lent you on Monday! Before I forget, I wanted to email you to ask if you had any questioned about next week? Feel free to dress in comfortable clothing as you’ll be posing for a portrait only. The first studio class often has a lot of questions, so my plan is to get through those first before we start. Let me know if you’re unclear about anything!

V

Professor Victor Nikiforov PhD

Detroit Sports College’s School of the Arts

Living Arts Building room 203

x27564

 

TO: [vnikiforov@dscollege.com](mailto:vnikiforov@dcollege.com)

FROM: [ykatsuki@dscollege.com](mailto:ykatsuki@dscollege.com)

DATE: January 11th, 2013 8:01 PM EST

 

Subject: Re: Week 1: Portrait Week!

Hi Victor,

I have! I’ve been practicing some of the poses in the book.  

I’m fine with next week’s class, but I’m a little nervous for the weeks after. Can you send me the pdf for the poses you want me to do for the week after, so I can start practicing? If you don’t have it ready don’t worry and send it when you can!

Thanks,

Yuuri

 

TO: [ykatsuki@dscollege.com](mailto:ykatsuki@dcollege.com)

FROM: [vnikiforov@dscollege.com](mailto:vnikiforov@dcollege.com)

DATE: January 12th, 2013 6:57 AM EST

 

Subject: Re: Week 1: Portrait Week!

Of course! If having them ahead of time will help, I’ll send them all now!

Attached is the next three weeks worth of poses – these are for the classes that require multiple poses for the duration of the class. The week of February 4th is reading week, so there won’t be any classes that week. I haven’t planned out the following weeks as of yet, but I plan to start the posed classes after the break.

Enjoy your weekend!

V

Professor Victor Nikiforov PhD

Detroit Sports College’s School of the Arts

Living Arts Building room 203

x27564

 

TO: [vnikiforov@dscollege.com](mailto:vnikiforov@dcollege.com) 

FROM: [ykatsuki@dscollege.com](mailto:ykatsuki@dscollege.com) 

DATE: January 12th, 2013 1:13 PM EST

 

Subject: Re: Week 1: Portrait Week!

Hi Victor,

 

Thanks a lot! I really appreciate you sending me the next few weeks. 

Just as a heads up – I might be away for a competition over reading week. I’m not sure if I’ve qualified yet, but if I do, I’ll be getting back late on the Monday following.

Thanks, 

Yuuri

 

TO: [ykatsuki@dscollege.com](mailto:ykatsuki@dcollege.com)

FROM: [vnikiforov@dscollege.com](mailto:vnikiforov@dcollege.com)

DATE: January 12th, 2013 1:27 PM EST

 

Subject: Re: Week 1: Portrait Week!

Good luck! :D Hope you make it!

 

See you on Tuesday – in case I forgot our studio classes are in LAB B127.

 

V

Professor Victor Nikiforov PhD

Detroit Sports College’s School of the Arts

Living Arts Building room 203

x27564

* * *

When Yuuri arrived an hour early to the first studio class Tuesday morning he was expecting there to be another class occupying the room. Seeing that the door was open, and no one was inside Yuuri decided to kill time within B127 in one of the desks instead of the hallway floor.

The room itself was huge with hardwood flooring and off-white walls. Even though the room was in the basement, the room was very well lit. The center of the class had the most lighting with a spotlight emphasizing an open area with a long bench in the middle of the space. The bench was made of white leather and had a white throw over top. A few inches away from the stage area were desks that formed a circle around the stage. Yuuri took a seat in one of the empty desks and pulled out his phone. Going through his texts there were a few from Phichit and one from Yuuko. Considering it was late back in Japan Yuuri opened hers first.

 

_YUUKO: If you’re up and have a sec & wifi facetime?_

_ME: Sorry just saw this! Call me if you’re still up._

 

Before Yuuri had a chance to check Phichit’s texts his phone screen lit up with Yuuko’s smiling face. Her contact photo was one he took the last time he visited her in Hasetsu making it a few years old. When he answered the video chat, Yuuko looked only a little older due to the bags under her eyes, but her smile was just as bright.

“Yuuri! I didn’t think you’d be awake yet! What time is it over there?” From what Yuuri could tell, Yuuko was facetiming him from ice castle. In the background, Yuuri could see the blue metal shelves full of the skates they had for rent. 

Seeing Yuuko in his home rink made Yuuri miss home so much. Because of the time difference, Yuuri often texted or emailed his friends and family back at home. It was easier that way out of convenience and because hearing their voices and seeing them through a screen was too hard, especially when it came to his family. Seeing his parents and sister but not being able to embrace them after a hard day usually made him want to buy a ticket on the first flight home and never look back. Yuuko, however, would sometimes text to facetime giving him the chance to see his childhood friend and speak in his native tongue. 

It was always easy to talk to Yuuko and seeing her beautiful face always brightened his day. "Hi, Yuuko. It’s must be close to midnight in Japan. What are you still doing at work?”

Yuuko rolled her eyes, “Takeshi double booked the rink AGAIN. A bunch of teenagers wanted to book the ice for pick up hockey, but we already had the ice booked for that beer league that plays every Tuesday night. When I called the teens this morning to reschedule they were pissed so I told them I'd let them go on right after the league was done. As punishment I made Takeshi go home early to make dinner for the triplets and put them to bed all on his own.” The malicious smirk on her face made Yuuri shutter. Since becoming a mom Yuuko could get really scary when she wanted to be. Although Yuuri and Takeshi weren’t the closest growing up he felt pity for the man. Axel, Lutz, and Loop were adorable when they wanted to be but most of the time they were a handful.

“I feel bad for Takeshi. I’m sure he’ll never double book the rink again if it means having to handle the triplets again for a night.” 

Yuuko smiled, “That was my master plan after all. But I’m so bored Yuuri! I’ve been here for hours and there nothing to do! I’ve already closed everything for the night, and most sane people are already in bed. Tell me about what’s new in your life!” 

Yuuri proceeded to update Yuuko on the last few weeks. The last time they spoke was a week after national and Yuuri was still upset over his results. Yuuri told her about his financial troubles since he knew she wouldn’t tell his family and how he decided to take a job as a model. They talked for almost thirty minutes before someone walked into the room causing Yuuri to stop talking mid-sentence. 

Victor was clutching a sketch pad in one hand and had a messenger bag over his shoulder. He was dressed in a blue dress shirt and black pants that clung to his body perfectly. With a soft smile, Victor mouthed what Yuuri thought was _Sorry_ but he wasn’t sure.  

Yuuko waved her arm back and forth trying to catch Yuuri's attention. "Hello, earth to Yuuri. What’s got you all doe-eyed?” Bringing his attention back to the screen in front of him Yuuri whispered “Sorry my boss just walked in I got to go. I’ll talk to you soon I promise!” Yuuri hung up and put his phone in his back pocket before Yuuko even had a chance to respond.

“Sorry about that. I came pretty early, and one of my friends back home asked to facetime, and no one was here yet.” Yuuri stood and awkwardly shifted from foot to foot.

“Don’t worry about it! Sorry to interrupt you. Were you speaking Japanese just now?” Victor asked as he walked toward a larger desk in the back corner of the room.

“Umm yes.” Yuuri looked down at his feet as if they held the answers to the universe. Yuuri always tried to avoid speaking Japanese in public since people would often give him weird looks.

Victor opened his bag and began to take out what looked like a pencil case and a leather file folder. “It sounded lovely, especially when you compare it to Russian.”

Yuuri slowly raised his head to meet Victors gaze. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

Victor smiled, “ты очень добр, но это так.”

Yuuri had no idea what he just said, but Victor speaking Russian was somehow more intoxicating than when he spoke in lecture. He felt his blood run warmer in his chest at the sound. The syllables blended together, and he spoke the words so fast it sounded like he spoke one long word instead of what was probably a sentence. "Umm, what?" Yuuri’s voice sounded too high to his own ears.

Victor sat down placing his feet on the desk and his arms behind his head. “I said ‘you are very kind, but yes, it is’. I think most of the world would agree with me. Russian just sounds so… harsh.”

Yuuri couldn't help but stare at the man in front of him. He was so casual and relaxed while Yuuri felt like a puddle of pudding. Did he not realize the effect he had on people? It was in that moment that the first student walked into the room taking a seat in the back row closest to the door. Victor sat up immediately and waved for Yuuri to join him on the other side of the room.

When Yuuri was in earshot Victor whispered, “We need to rearrange the desks, can you help me?” Yuuri nodded, and together they rearranged the desks and bench so that all the desks were facing the front of the room. The bench was heavy and required both of them to move it. By the time they finished the class was almost full, and Yuuri felt himself get nervous.

“I’ll be starting class soon. What would make you more comfortable? Standing up here with me or sitting at my desk till we’re ready for you?” Victor’s voice was soft, and it made Yuuri’s heart skip a beat. Yuuri considered the options for a second before answering. The thought of leaving Victor's side at the moment made him uncomfortable even if that meant the attention would be on him longer if he stayed at the front. Being near Victor was calming and comforting even though they barely knew each other. “I think I’ll stay here if that’s ok.”

Victors smile was contagious giving him the confidence to face the class.

* * *

Victor couldn’t get over how captivating Yuuri was. For days now Yuuri had been on the forefront of his mind. When he first met Yuuri, Victor wanted nothing more than to sketch the beautiful Asian man. Yuuri was obviously handsome but from the way he held himself, it seemed like he was unaware of just how attractive he was. Victor wanted nothing more than to capture that alluring yet shy demeanor onto paper.  

After the interview, Victor opened his sketch pad immediately and did his best to sketch Yuuri’s features from memory. But no matter how many time he tried over the last week Victor couldn’t capture the image that afflicted his mind. Every attempt found its way into the trash but surprisingly left Victor determined instead of his usual frustration. He was looking forward to today’s class since it meant he would finally have an excuse to sketch Yuuri in person. 

For the first time since he finished his PhD, Victor had a subject he wanted to draw desperately. Yuuri was Victors new project, and for the first time in over a decade, the object of his art caused him delight instead of grief.

When Victor walked into the classroom to hear him speaking Japanese it triggered something in him. He had always been attracted to foreign men and he was embarrassed to admit that he had a bit of a language kink. Victor knew he had to be careful. Yuuri was a student after all and on top of that, Victor was his employer. Under different circumstances, Victor would want nothing more than to ask Yuuri pose for him privately and maybe for a date as well. For now, however, he would have to make do with admiring Yuuri from afar and keep things professional between them. Victor spared one final glance at Yuuri before addressing the class. "Alright, everyone! We'll be starting in about two minutes so please take out your sketchbooks and set up your easel’s. For those of you who haven’t had a class in here yet there’s the top of your desks lift up and inside you will find your easels.” After everyone in the class was settled Victor began by introducing Yuuri to the class. In response with a soft blush and bow, Yuuri addresses the class. 

“I want to start off by reminding everyone that we are in a professional setting and you are to be respectful of our model. Remember this portion of the class is worth a good chunk of your grade and any disrespect will cause you to be kicked out of these sessions for the remainder of the year. We are all adults here so please be mature especially as we move on to the nudity portion of the class. Today, however, we are just sketching portraits so as soon as you're ready Yuuri take a seat and we'll begin." 

Victor pointed to the bench as they moved to the front of the class and Yuuri took a seat. Softly so that only Yuuri could hear him Victor continued, “Just relax and focus your attention on something to keep yourself focused. Don’t worry about your facial expressions either just keep it as neutral as possible.” Yuuri nodded in response, and Victor made his way around the class once before racing to his desk to start his own portrait.

From his angle Victor didn’t have the best view of Yuuri but it didn't matter. He was eager to get to work on his own portrait before he was interrupted by one of his students. Opening his sketchbook to a blank page Victor got to work.

* * *

Yuuri did his best to relax but his heart was beating a mile a minute. He tried to keep his focus on the clock above the door, trying to count the seconds along with the clock, instead of all the students who were looking at him. After counting to a thousand he could feel the tension in his body ease a bit and it was easier to tune out the room around him. Yuuri had this week to get used to the idea of so many people drawing him, and he hoped Victor wouldn’t change his mind about hiring him. After counting to two thousand Yuuri’s mind began to wonder at what Victor was doing but he refused to scan the room to see where he was. At two thousand eight hundred and sixty-seven, someone sneezed breaking Yuuri’s focus and he lost count.

Instead of starting over, Yuuri let his eye wander. Most of the students looked like they were concentrating on the sketch pads in front of them while they worked on their portraits only glancing at Yuuri occasionally. The longer he scanned the room the more comfortable he felt. When he skated, he knew all eyes were on him which only added to his nerves. Now, however, the student's main focus was their work, and no one was watching to see if he messed up. With each breath, Yuuri felt himself relax. By the time he the last bit of worry leave his shoulders Victors voice was calling the classes attention to pack up for the day.

Unsure of what to do now, Yuuri stood and watched the class pack up their stuff. Most of the class ignored him but a few people met his eyes and smiled, and Yuuri realized he was smiling back. “That was great Yuuri!” Yuuri didn’t notice Victor till he was standing next to him. “I have some things I need to do before the next class today, but I’ll see you later?”

Yuuri could barely get out his reply before Victor turned and rushed out of the classroom. Checking the time, Yuuri realized he had over an hour to kill till he had to be back in this room for the next studio class. As students from this class started to leave, others began to enter the studio indicating there was another class starting soon. Yuuri grabbed his stuff and made his way into the hallway. The halls were packed with people rushing to and from classes. He followed a group of students down the hall hoping they would lead to the stairwell to get back to the first floor, so he could grab a snack in the café upstairs to kill time. Instead, Yuuri found himself in front of two large double doors with a sign that read “The Hart Gallery”. If Yuuri remembered correctly, this was the gallery Phichit was hoping to display his masterpiece in a few weeks. Interested to see what was inside, Yuuri opened the doors and walked in.

He was immediately greeted by a woman in a black skirt and blazer. “Welcome to the Hart Gallery. Are you a student, staff, or visitor?”  

"I'm a student," Yuuri answered as she handed him a pamphlet. 

The woman smiled and asked to see his student ID. After showing the woman his card, she stamped his hand and was allowed free entry into the gallery. The room itself was huge with art and sculptures filling the space. Yuuri quickly scanned the pamphlet that explained for the next few weeks the gallery was displaying art donated by the faculty. Most of the collection consisted of small paintings and sketches. As Yuuri scanned the art, he read the names and descriptions that were printed for each piece. He recognized some of the names of Phichit’s professors over the years and he had to remember to ask Phichit why he hadn’t taken him here before.

On the far side of the gallery, Yuuri noticed a large group of giggling girls around a particular collection. From where he was standing Yuuri could see the woman in the paintings was breathtaking. She had long blond hair and pricing blue eyes. As Yuuri made his way to the display, the group of girls left leaving him with full view of the exhibit.

In total there were four paintings of the woman each more beautiful than the next. In the first painting, the woman had her head back in laughter with a look of pure joy across her face. She was standing in the streets dress in winter jacket as snow fell around her. Based on the background of the second painting, the same woman looked like she was on a stage waving to a crowd of fans. Her hair up in a bun and wore a pink and white ballet costume. In this one, she was a bit older and clutched a bouquet of blue roses close to her chest that matched the blue in her eyes. The third painting appeared to be of the same woman since she had long blond hair but Yuuri wasn’t sure since her hands were covering her face. In this painting the woman appeared to be crying or in great pain as she clutched her face and hunched her shoulders. Although paintings can’t move Yuuri could swear he could see the woman shaking in her agony. Despite the pain in the painting the woman still looked beautiful and it hurt to see her in such a state. The fourth and final painting was of the woman in an old-fashioned white night dress. She appeared to be a bit older in this one than in the rest and had her long blond hair down and blowing. Her hands were out reaching for something in the distance, but her face held an expression of bliss and peace.

Yuuri was so distracted by the paintings themselves he almost forgot to read the small plaque that named the paintings zvezda moya and its artist as Victor Nikiforov.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't speak Russian so if my translation above is incorrect let me know! 
> 
> Zvezda moya is a Russian term of endearment that translates to my star. 
> 
> Thank you so much to those of you that have commented and left kudos! Hope you've enjoyed this chapter as much as I've loved writing it!


	4. When it Rains it Pours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“After the rain, the sun will reappear._  
>  _There is life. After the pain, the joy will still be here.”_  
>  ― Walt Disney Company

Victor ran all the way back to his office. There was only an hour before the next studio class and he was determined to make the most of that time. Victor yanked open his office door and quickly slipped inside, locking the door. The inspirational rush that had been fueling him the last hour was slowly started to wear off and Victor rested his head on the door in an attempt to catch his breath.

“Is Gucci having a sale or are you just winded from the stairs?” Victor turned to see Chris sitting at his desk reading a book from Victor’s shelf. “Cause if there’s a sale you should have told me the instant you found out. I want new slippers since Makka ate my last pair.”

“Chris,” Victor’s voice was strained from his panting. For a moment he worried his age was catching up to him, but quickly dismissed the thought. “What are you doing here? 

“You said I could use your office whenever I wanted, so, this is me, using your office,” Chris said with a smirk. “Or did you forget you gave me a key?” 

“I’ve had this office for over four months now and you’ve never even stepped foot in the arts building in that time.” Victor walked over to one of the chairs in front of his desk and sat down dropping his bag and sketch pad on the floor beside him. “I know you better than that Christophe Giacometti. Just say what you came here to say and leave, I have things to do.” 

Chris spun Victor’s leather chair twice grinning. “Oh, I think you know exactly what I’m going to say, so why don’t you just save us some time and tell me what’s going on. I have all day Victor, but from the looks of it you’re in a rush to shut out the world and sketch whatever’s lit that spark under your ass.”

“You’re going to break the chair if you keep spinning around like that.” Victor crossed his arms trying to school his face into boredom. He had been avoiding Chris for the last week for this very reason. For the first time in years, Victor had a muse and he wasn’t ready to jinx it by sharing Yuuri with anyone. Especially his roommate who’d flirt with a chair if its legs were long enough. 

Chis stopped spinning and pouted. “I’m not letting you off easy this time. As your best friend, it’s my responsibility to scope this guy out to make sure he’s with you for the right reasons and thank him for ending your dry spell for the last two years.”

Victor laughed, “I hate to disappoint you, but I’m still on a cleanse. If I had met someone worth breaking it, you’d be the first to know.” He hoped his lie was believable enough for Chris to drop the subject. The truth was if Yuuri had turned down his job offer, he could see himself slipping into his old habits by asking the man to model for him privately after he wooed him with an expensive night out.

“See I thought so too Victor, but when I went to your room today to see if you had any dry cleaning you needed done, I found crumpled sketches of a man with no face littering your floor.” Victor felt his heart speed up. It must have shown on his face because Chris’s grin grew triumphantly before he continued. “I know your process better than anyone else, and to you, the face is the most important part to get right.”

“So what? Maybe I’m trying a new angle.” Victor knew his attempts to deflect were futile, but he couldn’t help it. If he were to confide in anyone it would be Chris, but he wasn’t ready. His feelings for Yuuri were more powerful than anything he felt since Vera and they only just met. Just thinking of her caused his chest to ache and he wasn’t ready to break down that dam he worked so hard to build up. The inspiration Yuuri lit in him was different than Vera’s and he wasn’t ready to sift through those emotions just yet to understand what they meant.

“My first guess was one of your students and that why you haven’t told me about him.” Chris continued ignoring Victor’s completely. “I knew you were into younger guys, but you’re teaching first and second years so unless he was a mature student you wouldn’t go for someone almost ten years younger than you.” Victor winced, he still thought of himself as a student even though he had his PhD for almost a year now, and again the reminder of his age made him shudder.

“So, my next guess is that he’s the model you hired since it’s been over a week and you haven’t introduced me to him yet. You know I have a soft spot for models and my only conclusion as to why you haven’t introduced us is because you want to keep him for yourself.”  Chris said with a wink. “Am I right?”

“It’s not like that Chris,” Victor’s voice was just barely a whisper. “I don’t understand these feelings myself yet, so I can’t think to voice them to you.”

Chris’ smile dropped instantly, and he straightened in his chair. “Oh. I didn’t…”

Victor cut him off, “Its fine, I just don’t know…” Victor let the sentence hang unfinished, but he knew Chris understood. 

“I know you don’t like to talk about it, but her last words were for you to be happy. Don’t you think it’s time you tried?” Victor met Chris’ eyes with unshed tears. He knew Chris meant well every time he asked that question but after all these years he still didn’t have an answer, so he gave his usual response. 

“My life is fine the way it is for now.” Victor could feel Chris’ restraint not to push further and he was thankful when his friend only nodded and changed the subject.  

* * *

Yuuri walked back to the studio in a daze. He didn’t know how to feel about Victor’s paintings, but he knew deep down a part of him wanted to ask Victor about them. Out of all the pieces in the gallery, Victor’s art was the only paintings that actually made him feel something. Aside from Phichit, Yuuri didn’t have much experience with art. His roommate often created abstract sculptures that seemed to have no direction of purpose. Phichit always had to explain to Yuuri what feelings he was trying to portray in his sculptures since Yuuri always guessed wrong. With Victor’s paintings, however, it was as if his emotions were laid bare for all to see. Each of the four paintings were so different from each other yet even Yuuri who was a novice at the meaning behind art could see the paintings were meant to be shown together as one piece.

When he got into the studio, most of the seats were occupied by new students preparing for class. Victor didn’t appear to be back yet so Yuuri waited for him by his desk unsure of what to do with himself. When the clock struck 1:30 exactly Victor entered the room and closed the door. When Victor left the studio an hour ago his eyes were bright, and he had a bounce to his step. Now, the smile on Victor’s face looked forced and he didn’t make eye contact with Yuuri when he instructed him to take a seat and addressed the class less enthusiastically then he did just a few hours ago.

Instead of sitting at his desk, Victor paced the room with eyes unfocused. This time around, Yuuri didn’t feel nervous sitting in front of the class, but was curious as to what caused Victor’s mood to change so drastically. As the minutes passed Yuuri tuned out and tried to stay focused on the clock like before. Eventually, something broke Yuuri’s focus on the clock and his eyes scanned the room. In the back of the room leaning against metal storage cabinet, Victor seemed to be staring off into space. After a beat, Victor’s gaze focused on Yuuri’s and instantly Yuuri felt an invisible force-locking his eyes in place.

Yuuri doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath till he feels his lung protest from the lack of oxygen. All the while Victor’s stare only seems to intensify as if searching Yuuri’s face for something in particular. Yuuri wasn’t sure how much time passed, but when a ghost of a smile touches his own lips, he sees Victor’s eyes light in surprise before a soft smile graces his features, simultaneously shattering his mood. Even though Yuuri breaks eye contact first, he can still feel Victor’s eyes on him.

Worried that someone in the class may have witnessed their strange exchange Yuuri’s focus returns to the clock and stays there until Victor’s sing-song voice announces the class has ended. Instantly students start packing up, and just as it seems like Victor is about to make his way over to Yuuri two girls with sketchbooks in hand stop him to ask a question about their portraits. As if on cue three more girls approach him. Soon the line of students grows, all waiting to ask Victor questions or show him their work. Yuuri waits for Victor as long as he can. When the next class started to enter the room and Victor ushers the line of mostly girls into the hallway Yuuri makes his way towards what he hopes is the stairway out not wanting to be late for practice.

* * *

By the time Yuuri changes and make his way to the gym, Phichit is already warming up on the rowing machine. Taking his usual spot beside him Yuuri straps his feet in place and reaches for the handle. Before he has a chance to start his first row, Phichit squeals causing Yuuri to let go of the handle and triggering the cord to recoil the handle back to the machine with a loud bang. Yuuri was thankful that most of the students in the gym were used to Phichit’s outbursts and ignored the skaters as they continued their own workouts.

“What?” Yuuri whispered reaching forward for the handle again.

Phichit was almost jumping in his seat, completely halting his own warm up. “I’ve texted you like a million times today, but I haven’t heard back! I’m dying to know how your classes went!”

“Sorry,” Yuuri took out his phone from his track pants and checked his messages. “I got distracted.” No doubt Phichit had left over thirty texts starting just before he facetimed Yuuko wishing him luck till about five minutes ago asking where he was. Yuuri proceeded to go over the events of the day as the two skaters finished their warm-ups and started over to the mats to start their work out. Every Tuesday and Thursday Celestino had the boys use their practice time to strength train and to give their feet a break from the ice. What he didn’t know is their gym sessions often ended up also being the friends gossip time.

The two had gotten used to speaking in code and hushed voices so the others in the gym couldn’t pick up on their conversations. Phichit often was the one with something or someone to talk about, but his friend was quiet till Yuuri got to the part about his trip to the gallery. Phichit was thrilled to hear that his friend got the chance to see gallery he was hoping to display his work in.

“You can’t tell but there’s a faux wall blocking off half the gallery that will be opened to display the student selections from this year. The best pieces will be displayed in the center of the room and the back wall since that’s where your eye naturally falls.” Phichit beamed. “I hope if my masterpiece is selected it will be front and center!” Yuuri took this as an opportunity to shift focus from himself and Victor’s paintings and weird mood to his friend’s art project that was, according to Phichit, nowhere near completion.

It wasn’t until the skaters had finished their workouts, showered, and changed that Phichit asked Yuuri about how the second class went. Yuuri contemplated telling Phichit about the paintings since the more he thought about the woman in the painting the more the sense of jealous crept into his mind. Curious what the name of the paintings meant before leaving the gallery, Yuuri had typed the words ‘zvezda moya’ into google. When the first link titled ‘Tender Words in Russian’ came up Yuuri closed the browser page immediately and thought it best not to find out. It was obvious that whoever the woman was she meant a lot to Victor and Yuuri was curious to figure out who she was.

Phichit picked up on Yuuri’s hesitation right away and with little effort got the rest of the story out of him. He tried to downplay his unjustified envy of the woman by masking it with his curiosity and with Victor’s strange mood that was only lifted once the two locked eyes in class. 

Phichit forced Yuuri to continue his story as they walked towards the arts building. With the deadline fast approaching, Phichit needed to work on connecting the smaller pieces he created over the winter break to the larger work Yuuri hadn’t seen yet. Phichit was very particular and only let people see his masterpieces in all its glory when they were finished and polished to perfection. However, Phichit didn’t want to wait until he got home to hear the rest of Yuuri’s story, so he dragged his friend along the path that leads to the LAB.

“If you ask me, that woman must be an ex-lover,” Phichit whispered as he pushed the umbrella closer to Yuuri. It wasn’t cold enough to snow it seemed, but the freezing rain pelted down hard enough to sting any exposed skin. Yuuri didn’t check the forecast before he left that morning and was thankful that Phichit was sharing his umbrella.

“Why do you think she’s an ex?” Yuuri asked not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

Phichit tilted the umbrella slightly, so the wires inside hit his friend over the head. “Because he’s obviously in love with you now and I don’t think Professor Nikiforov is the type of guy to have more than one lover at a time.”

Yuuri rolled his eyes, “I shouldn’t have told you about what happened in class. You’re letting your imagination run wild again. 

Phichit ignored Yuuri completed and continued by saying, “All I’m saying is a man that good looking has to swing both ways or else fifty percent of the world’s population is missing out!”

Yuuri felt his ears heat and blamed it on the cold. “Even if you were right there’s no way he’s interested in me. If you looked up the word average, you’d see my name next to it in the dictionary.”

Phichit elbowed his friend in the ribs, “You’re far from average my friend. Every time I drag you to a party you leave with at least two peoples numbers and someone else to go home with.”

Yuuri stopped dead in his tracks. “Phichit that only happened like once, and I thought we’d agreed to never bring that up again.” Yuuri didn’t like to think about Jake or Jace or whoever that guy was. Yuuri woke up the next morning with an awful hangover, in an unfamiliar bed, alone, with a girl banging on the door demanding to speak with her boyfriend. Not the best memory of his first and last one-night stand.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, it’s just you don’t give yourself enough credit. I can’t count the times people have asked me if the great Yuuri Katsuki was single just for you to shut them down or be completely oblivious to their advances.”  Phichit turned to face his friend. “College is the time to meet people because once we’re out of here the chances of meeting someone becomes slim. I don’t want to see my best friend single forever because he was too scared to put himself out there.” Phichit moved the umbrella to his other hand and linked arms with Yuuri. “Just think about it ok?”

Yuuri huffed his agreement before the two began walking again. When they reached the arts building, the rain began to let up, and Yuuri insisted Phichit keep the umbrella in case the rain picked up on his way home. The bus stop was close enough that Yuuri wouldn’t have to wait in the rain for long and the bus was scheduled to arrive any minute. Reluctantly Phichit agreed, and the two parted ways.

Yuuri took his time walking towards the bus stop. He was too busy mulling over his conversation with Phichit that when the bus whipped passed him it was too late for him to run to catch up. When Yuuri did make it to the bus stop the freezing rain decided to pick up again completely soaking through his clothes in minutes. The bus shelter at this stop was missing its roof and did little to block out the rain. Miserable and wondering what god he pissed off Yuuri contemplated making a run for home or wait the next fifteen minutes for the next bus.

Just as Yuuri stepped out of the shelter to make a run for it, a car horn blared behind him making him jump. A slick grey car pulled up beside Yuuri with the passenger window rolled down, and the driver yelled for Yuuri to get in. His glasses were wet from the rain, but Yuuri could see Victor’s silver hair from where he stood shaking on the sidewalk. “You’re going to catch your death if you say out in this weather and I can’t have my model calling in sick on me!” 

Yuuri only hesitated for a second weighing his options before responding. “I’ll be fine. I don’t want to ruin the leather.” Yuuri meekly pointed to the leather upholstery in front of him. “The bus should be here any minute.”

“Oh, my g…  Just get in! I’ll drive you home.” Victor reached over the seat and opened the passenger door.

With numb fingers, Yuuri reached for the car door and felt the warmth radiate from the open door. Without a second though Yuuri got into the car and slammed the wet door. Within a few seconds, the window was back up, and Yuuri sank into his seat. His teeth were chattering, and Yuuri clung to himself in an attempt to warm his freezing body.

“Take off your jacket and throw it in the back,” Victor instructed as he began to take off his own. 

“Just a sec.” Yuuri’s hands were too numb and shaking too much to follow Victor’s command. He just needed a few minutes to warm up. 

“Your lips are blue.” Victor rested his jacket on Yuuri’s lap and reached for his zipper. With Victor’s help, Yuuri was able to shrug off his wet jacket. The hoodie Yuuri wore under his jacket was damp too and Victor insisted he takes that off as well. Luckily Yuuri wore waterproof shoes and only the ends of his pants were damp from the puddles. Victor wrapped Yuuri up in the same jacket and scarf Victor used to save him a seat in class only last week. Almost instantly Yuuri was surrounded by warmth, and cologne, and the smell of Victor. 

Yuuri sank lower into his seat and felt himself relax. His hands were red and still damp from the rain, but he tried his best to warm them by rubbing them together. Victor noting the gesture reached for the glove compartment in front of Yuuri and cursed when he didn’t find what he was looking for. “Give me your hands.” Yuuri looked towards Victor who was looking at him with worry. Before Yuuri could process Victor took Yuuri’s hands into his and Yuuri felt his breath hitch. At first, the warmth of Victor’s hands shocked him as the heat sent shockwaves through Yuuri’s frozen limbs. Victor’s hands were slightly bigger than his and easily warmed the freezing skin. “Sorry, I don’t have any gloves.” The heat in the car was turned to full blast and the windshield wipers were struggling to keep up with the freezing rain. 

Yuuri’s voice was stuck in his throat. Victor made no attempt to move the idling car since his focus was on warming Yuuri’s hands. They sat together in silence as Victor continued to fuss over him. When his hands warmed Victor’s grip only loosed a bit but he made no attempt to pull away. Yuuri stared at their wound hands. The last few times Yuuri saw Victor’s hands they were covered in charcoal. Now, however, they were clean and soft to the touch. “Do you make it a habit to dress inappropriately for the weather?” 

“What do you mean?” Yuuri tore his gaze away from their hands to meet Victor’s eyes. He could still see the worry in Victor’s eyes, but there was some other emotion there too that Yuuri couldn’t name.

“The day we met in my office you were dressed more for a summer wedding than for the three inches of snow that covered the ground.” Victor’s lips curled into a smile, and Yuuri felt his face flush. 

“I was dressed for an interview.” Yuuri tried to hide his returning smile but failed.

Victor's eyebrow quirked in amusement. “And how many job interviews have your worn that suit too?”

“Just ours, why?” Actually, his interview with Victor was the only job interview he’d ever been too. He’d worn that suit to a few banquets last year and at his press conferences even though Phichit begged him to get another. It was a comfy suit! 

Victor’s grip tighten for a second before answering. “Good. Please tell me you borrowed it from a friend twice your size because whoever sold you that suit should be fired. And that tie, please burn it. It should never see the light of day.”

Yuuri didn’t know if Victor was joking or if he was serious, but it was that moment that he looked back down at their hands and wondered why Victor was still holding on. “You sound like Phichit.”

Victor let go of Yuuri’s hands as if realizing too that he had been holding them longer than necessary. “A friend of yours?” Victor asked as he readjusted his rearview mirror.

“Yeah and my roommate.” Yuuri reached for his seatbelt assuming Victor was getting ready to drive him home.

“That’s good. I mean that’s good that you have a friend.” Yuuri noticed Victor wince. “Since coming to the US I haven’t made many friends.” Victor pointed to the built-in GPS on the dashboard. “Type in your address and I’ll take you home.” 

Yuuri did and Victor put the car in gear. They were both silent for a while before Yuuri said, “My first two years here I basically spent alone. My English wasn’t great, and my old roommate was a jerk. After he graduated Phichit moved in we just clicked. We both have the same coach and we spend all our time together.”

“That’s great. My roommates a skater too but he’s doing his masters and between practice and school I never really see him.” Yuuri was about to ask him who is roommate was until he realized he didn’t actually know any master students in the skating program. “That’s too bad.” The car lapsed into silence again until Victor pulled up in front of Yuuri’s dorm.  

“Do you drink coffee?” Yuuri looked at Victor hopeful. He didn’t know how to thank Victor for going out of his way to drive him home. Victor seemed startled by the question before a shy smile brushed his lips and he gave a slight nod.

“Good! Phichit and I hate coffee and we’ve been looking for someone to give this expensive fancy coffee we got from one of our sponsors. I’ll bring you some tomorrow as a way of saying thank you for the ride and your jacket I mean.” Yuuri began to unwind the scarf from around his neck when Victor’s hands stopped him. “It was nothing Yuuri.” The shy smile dropped from Victor’s face before another tight smile that seemed forced curled his lips. “Keep them. I have another jacket and scarf at home and you can return these tomorrow in the studio.”

“You sure?” Victor just nodded before reaching in the back for Yuuri’s wet jacket and hoodie. Yuuri took the wet items and thanked Victor again before opening the car door rushing his apartment building. It took him a few moments to search his jacket pocket for his key card before opening the glass doors. By the time Yuuri turned to wave to Victor the car was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Victor. 
> 
> I was hoping to have this chapter up last week but life happened and it got delayed. Hope it was worth the wait!
> 
> I've updated the chapter count to reflect what I have planned for this story. I was hesitant at first to post it, but after going over my outline again there will most likely be 16 chapters. 
> 
> For those who asked, the woman has a name! Thats all I'm ready to disclose for now. 
> 
> Special thanks to all of you reading this story your comments and support are appreciated! :) <3


	5. New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“And yet I have had the weakness, and have still the weakness, to wish you to know with what a sudden mastery you kindled me, heap of ashes that I am, into fire.”_  
>  ― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

Yuuri woke up the next morning to Phichit ringtone. The alarm on his bedside table showed that it was just after 8:00 am and Yuuri was not a morning person.

“What?” Yuuri’s voice was thick with sleep. Phichit only called him in emergencies, so Yuuri wasn’t going to ignore his friends call.

“Please don’t hate me! I’m sorry it’s so early, but I need your help!” Phichit sounded tired and desperate shaking Yuuri out of sleep completely.

“What’s wrong Phichit?” Yuuri scanned the room looking for any signs of his roommate. His bed looked like it hadn’t been slept in and his clothes from the day before weren’t on the floor where he usually left them. “Did you not come home last night?”

“No, I’ve been up all night trying to fix my sculpture! A large piece broke when I tried adding to it, making the whole thing unstable. I’m almost done fixing it but I’m running really low on plaster. Would you please be the bestest friend ever and stop by the art store before your class today! I’d go myself, but I don’t want to leave to have this thing break on me again.”

“Would you like a change of clothes as well? Maybe some breakfast?” Yuuri loved sleep, but he loved Phichit more. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for his best friend.

“Please! Just bring me a change of clothes for practice later. And Starbucks!” Yuuri hung up with Phichit and immediately googled the closest craft store. Sheila’s Arts and Things was in an area of town Yuuri was familiar with thanks to Phichit. It was where all the grad students and hipsters hung out, and to Yuuri’s relief, only a ten-minute walk from their apartment. 

In a bag, Yuuri packed clean clothes and granola bars and started his walk to the arts store. The air was cold, and the sidewalk was slippery from the freezing rain the night before. Unfortunately, Yuuri’s jacket from the night before was still wet so he was forced to wear layers. He didn’t like to wear his Japan jacket outside of the rink, but today it was his only option.

When Yuuri got to the art store he was shocked at how large it was. From the outside, it seemed like a small family owned shop that fit in with the area. On the inside however, there were at least twenty different aisles filled to the brim with art supplies. Yuuri looked for a clerk to ask for help but there was no one at the register. 

“This has to be the last place I’d expect to see you.”

Yuuri jumped at the sound of Victor's voice, but there was no one around. “Victor?”

“Up here.” Sure enough, two aisles to the left Victor stood on a ladder causally resting one arm on a box.

“What are you doing up there?” Yuuri asked making his way to the aisle.

“I know the owner, so she orders me supplies in bulk,” Victor said tapping the box he was leaning on. “What brings you here?”

“Plaster,” Yuuri responded immediately, half embarrassed and half shocked to see Victor here. “For my roommate.”

“Oh,” Victor grabs the box he was leaning on and starts to make his way down the ladder. “Need any help?”

“If you don’t mind?” Out of the corner of his eye, Yuuri noticed the clerk that was nowhere to be found a second ago was now back at the front desk. The idea of perusing the art store with Victor was far more appealing than asking the girl at the counter.

Victor grinned at him and put the box down in front of him. “Right this way, Yuuri.” 

As they walked up and down the aisles Yuuri was glad for the opportunity to spend more time with Victor. He was clearly in his element and seemed to enjoy explaining the various types of plaster to Yuuri and what they were used for. Yuuri quickly realized he didn’t have a clue about sculpting so he trusted Victor's judgment.

“I don’t like sculpting too much myself, but I had to take at least one class in my undergrad,” Victor explained as they made their way to the front to pay.

“Oh yeah? What did you make?” 

Victor grimaced. “I used Makkachin as my model, but it was awful. It didn’t even look like a dog when I was finished.”

“I’m sure it didn’t look that bad.” Yuuri found it hard to believe anything Victor made could ever be considered awful. 

Victor gave him a knowing look. “Trust me it’s bad. I’ve stuck to drawing and painting ever since.” Both men paid for their items and made their way to the front of the store. “Did you want a drive home? I’m headed to campus, so it would be on my way.”

“Actually, I need to pick up Starbucks for Phichit. He pulled an all-nighter in the studio last night.” The Starbucks was just down the street from the art store, and Yuuri didn’t want to bother Victor again for a ride.

“I thought your roommate didn’t like coffee?”

Yuuri laughed. “He doesn’t, but he loves sugary drinks. His favourite right now is a cookies and cream frappuccino from their secret menu.”

“Phichit’s lucky to have a friend like you Yuuri,” Victor said with a sad expression.

After their conversation in the car the night before, Yuuri felt bad that Victor didn’t have many friends in Detroit. He remembered how hard it was before Phichit moved in with him and he didn’t like to see someone as kind as Victor to be lonely. Before he could second-guess himself, Yuuri asked, “If you’re going to be headed to campus, why don’t you come with me and then we’ll go to campus together? I’ll even get you a coffee to say thank you for your help with the plaster and the company.”

Victor agreed, and his expression changed instantly to one of pure joy. The more time Yuuri spent with Victor, the more he noticed how quickly his moods changed. When they arrived at the coffee shop, Yuuri ordered Phichit’s drink and a hot chocolate for himself while Victor ordered black coffee.

“Aren’t you going to add any cream or sugar to that?” Yuuri asked as he took a sip from his own steaming cup. 

“Nah, I’m light and sweet enough,” Victor responded with a wink. Yuuri just rolled his eyes and tried to hide his smile. Yuuri was finding it easier to banter back and forth with his employer. Although a lot of his comments still made him blush, Yuuri liked the idea of getting to know Victor better. As a friend of course.

The drive back to campus was short, but the two men were able to fill the time with easy conversation. They talked a little more about Phichit’s sculpture, and Yuuri found out that Victor was on the committee to help choose which submissions would be displayed. As a result, Victor couldn’t go with Yuuri to Phichit’s work studio since none of the judges were allowed to see the submissions before they were handed in.

Yuuri didn’t know why but he didn’t want to part with Victor so soon. He enjoyed their time together outside of work even though both times Yuuri felt indebted to him.

“Oh crap! I just realized I forgot your coffee and jacket at home!” Yuuri checked the time on his phone to see if he had could make it home and back before his first class started. He had been so focused on Phichit that the rest slipped his mind. 

“Don’t worry about it Yuuri. As I said I have another jacket. You can bring it in next week.” To Yuuri’s relief, Victor didn’t look upset at all. His heart-shaped smile really was breathtaking and Victors quirky personality made him all the more endearing.

Just as he was about to respond his phone screen lit up with a text from Phichit asking where he was. “Thanks for understanding! I got to go, but I’ll see you in the studio later?” 

Victor held his gaze for a moment before raising his coffee cup towards Yuuri. “I look forward to it.”

Reluctantly Yuuri left to meet Phichit in the studio. When he arrived, he was shocked to see the room was a complete and utter mess. Chucks of dried plaster littered the floor and surrounding tables. Phichit’s look of relief at seeing his friend warmed his heart.

“You’re a life saver Yuuri,” Phichit said while holding a piece of his stature while it dried. “I had to add a ton of stuff to reinforce this baby, and it hasn’t quite dried yet.”

Yuuri looked at the large statue in awe. Even though it wasn’t finished, Yuuri could tell it would be Phichit’s best creation yet. “This is beautiful Phichit.” 

“Thanks. It’s been a logistical nightmare, but I think it will be worth it in the end.” On one side, the statue appeared to be two people in a loving embracing. The other side the sculpture was hollow and full of intricate twists and turns wrapping around a centre heart.

“I got everything you asked for,” Yuuri said trying to find a clean surface to put down the items he brought.

“Did you have any trouble finding the plaster?”

“No. Actually I …” Just as Yuuri was about to explain his morning to Phichit his phone began to ring. “Umm, Celestino’s calling.”

“Hello?”

“Yuuri!” Celestino's voice was exceptionally cheery. “I have great news!”

“Put him on speaker!” Phichit insisted.

“Oh, Is Phichit with you?”

“Yeah?”

“Great! I need to speak with both of you!”

Yuuri put his phone on speaker and walked closer to Phichit. “What is it, coach?”

“Remember that Video Phichit took of your free skate? I sent it to some of my contacts in the IUS, and they loved it!”

“Really?” Yuuri tried to stay calm, but his heart was beating a mile a minute.

“Really! They were so impressed they decided to invite you to Four Continents after all!”

“That’s great Yuuri!” Phichit squealed attempting to give his friend a one-armed hug while still trying to hold on to his statue.

“What about travel expenses?” Yuuri knew he didn’t have the money for another competition.

“I got that covered Yuuri. You still have some money left over in travel account through the school. All you need to focus on is practice for the next few weeks. If you can pull off a clean skate, you’re a shoe in for first place!”

Yuuri looked from phone to his friend. A million emotions were running through his mind at that moment, but he knew none of it would have been possible without the support of his couch and his best friend. “I promise to do my best and make you both proud.”

Phichit bumped Yuuri with his hip, “You already have.”

* * *

Yuuri was so overwhelmed after his phone call with Celestino that he was almost late for class. He tried to pay attention, but his mind was still reeling from finding out that he was going to be going to Four Continents in only a few weeks. Instead of taking notes, Yuuri emailed his family and Yuuko to tell them the news. For a moment, he considered sending one to Victor as well but then thought against it. They still didn’t know each other that well and Yuuri would be seeing him later in the studio.

After class was finished, Yuuri decided to use his break to call his old ballet teacher to tell her the news and to make plans to meet up during the trip. Minako had pushed Yuuri towards figure skating all those years ago and continued to support him after he decided to pursue skating full time. Although Celestino would book the flight and hotel, Yuuri was hoping he’d be staying at the same hotel as her so the two could use the time to catch up. If she didn’t use the time instead to try and stalk the other competitors.

It had been a while since he spoke to Minako and she wanted an update on everything. Yuuri was careful with his words since Minako often jumped to her own conclusions and Yuuri didn’t want to give anything to fuel that fire. She found it absolutely hilarious that Yuuri was modeling and teased him mercilessly. After that, the two chatted easily until it was time for Yuuri to head to the studio for his last portrait session for the week.

When Yuuri arrived at the studio, Victor was already at his desk. Without thinking about it, Yuuri rushed over to share his news with Victor. To his surprise, upon hearing the news, Victors face lit up and he involved Yuuri in a tight hug. “Congratulations Yuuri! That’s great news!”

After getting over the initial shock Yuuri wrapped his arms around Victor and squeezed. He found it strange at how natural it felt to return Victor’s embrace. Yuuri never thought of himself as an affectionate person except with those he was closest too. Before he could analyze it more Yuuri let go and felt the need to distance himself a bit from Victor. Never before had he felt so comfortable with another person so quickly and it began to freak him out. 

As if on cue a student walked up to the desk to ask Victor a question giving Yuuri the time to slip away to his spot at the front of the class. For the first time that week Yuuri felt hyper-aware of Victors gaze on him throughout the class. The idea of Victor staring at his was both thrilling and frightening at the same time. Yuuri was so lost in thought the entire class that the time flew by. He didn’t bother to stick around after class since he was anxious to get to practice and to give himself some space to think. _Nice going Yuuri. One minute you’re sad to see him go and the next you’re running away._

Celestino pushed Yuuri harder than he had before. They worked through all of Yuuri’s jumps over and over again till Yuuri thought his legs would give out. His technique was flawless when he simply let go and let his muscle memory take over. Celestino argued that the only way to build up his confidence with his jumps was to practice them over and over again till he stopped thinking about it. Yuuri used the next four days to practice his jumps and his routine relentlessly as a distraction from his thoughts and to prepare himself for Four Continents. He was so focused that by the time the next studio class rolled around Yuuri forgot that he’d be posing in just his boxer briefs.

* * *

Victor made sure to arrive extra early to Tuesday's studio drawing class. He told himself it was in case Yuuri was early as well and had any questions, but in truth it was because he knew he’d need time to prepare himself. The last few days had been… hard. Inspiration was flowing through him like never before, but it still wasn’t enough. Every moment Victor spent with Yuuri the week before felt precious. Seeing him freezing at the bus stop put his instincts into overdrive to protect the man in a way he only ever showed with his family.

Before his stepdad came along, Victor’s mom would ask him to be their families protector. She worked such long hours, and someone had to watch over Vera. Till this day Victor thought his mom was a superhero. She was able to keep her dream of being a dancer alive while still working a full-time job to also provide for her children. Before their stepdad came along, life as a single teen parent must have been extremely difficult but she never showed it. By day their mother worked in an office and in the evenings, she taught ballet at a local studio. When their mother didn’t have the money for a babysitter, Victor and Vera would spend those evenings with their mother in the studio till they were old enough to look after themselves.

Victor danced because it made his mother and sister happy, but Vera was in a league of her own. From the age of three, it was obvious Vera was a born dancer. No matter how tired their mother was, every night when she came home from work, she would give the twins ballet lessons from the comfort of their tiny living room. She dreamed one day the two would become famous in the ballet world as a pair. His twin sister was his other half in every way. Their mother often said they shared one soul in two bodies and that it showed when they danced. When they died it was if a part of him died with them. The idea of dancing without them felt wrong.

As a child, if Victor wasn’t dancing he was drawing. They were both his greatest passions and art is what helped him work through his grief when his parents and sister died. When Victor painted his sister, it was if a piece of her was still living with him. Yuri was six when he came crying to Victor that he didn’t remember what their sister looked like. Their mother didn’t take many pictures of them growing up and what few they had were packed in a box somewhere. So, Victor took it upon himself to immortalize his family on canvas.

Since he was closest to Vera, she quickly became his muse which carried him throughout college and his PhD. For ten years Vera was his inspiration, but every time he finished a painting it was as if he was losing her all over again. When he graduated, Victor promised himself to find new inspiration, so he could grow as a person and as an artist. The fact that Yuuri inspired him both thrilled and terrified Victor. From the moment they met, Victor knew he was someone special and desperately wanted to capture those feelings onto paper.

Yuuri challenged Victor in a way Vera never did. He knew Vera so well that he could sketch her in his sleep. Even when they were younger, Vera didn’t have to be present for him to capture her mannerisms and quirks on paper with ease. Yuuri, however, was new and his beauty and essence weren’t as easy to capture.

As an artist, Victor had been looking forward to being able to sketch more of Yuuri’s body since day one. As a man however, he was worried that his attraction to Yuuri would overwhelm him. So, that was why Victor was an hour early to his own class. The man plaguing his every moment would be stripping down to almost nothing in a room full of students tasked with drawing him and he had to keep things professional even if it killed him.

When Yuuri walked into the room forty-five minutes later any hopes to calm himself went out the window, and he could feel his blood pounding in his ears. He was dressed simply in a sweater and sweats, but it didn’t really matter since he’d be expected to undress soon.

“Morning Yuuri, how was your weekend?” He didn’t seem as nervous as Victor expected but he did seem bone tired.

“Fine. I spent most of my time at the rink practicing, so I didn’t get much else done.” Yuuri plopped his backpack by the bench that was now back in the centre of the room, and he made his way towards Victor's desk.

“How are you feeling about today?” Out of the two studio classes they had that day, Victor assumed the first would be the most awkward for Yuuri.

“If I’m being honest, I’m a little nervous, but I looked through the documents you sent again this morning, and I think I’ll be fine.” A shy confident smile brushed his lips, and Victor felt a jolt go through his body at the sight. _Keep it together Nikiforov._

“Glad to hear it! If you’re ever stuck let me know and I’ll help you out. Also, don’t worry about keeping track of the time for the poses. I’ll ask you to switch when enough times passed. When you’re ready to can change in the back room.” Victor pointed to the back of the room where there was, in fact, a small storage room that doubled as a change room. 

When Victor arrived that morning, he rearranged the room and made sure to swap out the plain white cotton robe that was left for the models with his own navy silk robe from home. He wanted to make sure Yuuri was as comfortable as possible. Yuuri nodded and made his way to the room to change. Students were already entering the classroom to set up and Victor tried to distract his thoughts of Yuuri stripping out of his clothes only a few feet away. 

After a few minutes, almost every seat was full, so Victor decided to start the class early. He was already speaking when Yuuri emerged from the back room and took his place beside Victor. He tried to stay focus on his lecture reminding the students to be professional and to treat their model with respect, but he lost his train of thought and he knew he was rambling. So not to embarrass himself further Victor turned to Yuuri and asked if he was ready. Yuuri nodded but Victor could see his face was riddled with anxiety.

In an attempt to offer some comfort Victor reached out without thinking to place a hand on his shoulder.  Yuuri flinched and Victor regretted the movement instantly. Just as he was about to take his hand away Victor felt the tension leave Yuuri’s shoulder and his expression changed to one of confidence. The display warmed Victor’s body again and he let go of the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. On shaking legs Victor made his way back to his desk and took a seat. “Whenever you’re ready Yuuri.”

Yuuri undid the robe and draped it over the bench. Victor was glad to be at the back of the room and out of Yuuri’s direct eyesight because no matter how much he prepared himself for this moment he couldn’t help the small gasp from leaving his mouth. Suddenly it got very hard to breathe, and Victor couldn’t help it as his eyes roamed every inch of Yuuri’s body.

Yuuri was both soft and muscular in all the right places, driving Victor mad. He knew Yuuri was an athlete, but he did a good job of hiding his amazing body in his loose-fitting clothing. The boxer briefs he was wearing didn’t leave much to the imagination and Victor couldn’t help his thoughts from wandering. To have a practically naked Yuuri within arm’s reach but not being able to do anything about it was torture.

This was what hell must be like.

Victor wasn’t a religious person, but he knew at that moment that if underworld existed this would be what his personal hell looked like. He was supposed to be professional damn it. Instead of gawking at Yuuri he should be checking in on his students, but he couldn’t move. All he could do was stare at the glorious perfection that was Yuuri Katsuki. 

Victor was so focused on not reacting that he almost forgot to instruct Yuuri to switch to the next pose. Yuuri moved into the next pose with ease and Victor couldn’t help the feeling of pride that ran through him at the sight. Yuuri seemed so shy but when he put his mind to something he surpassed your expectations.

Since it seemed too dangerous for his sanity to keep his eyes on Yuuri, Victor looked away and made his way around the room to do his job as an instructor. For the portrait classes the week before his students really didn’t need any assistance, so he was able to relax a bit and even do some sketching for himself. Today however, the majority of this class was full of first-year students that could really benefit from his guidance.  With the distraction of helping his students and keeping an eye on the time to instruct Yuuri to switch Victor was able to get through the first class.

Yuuri was quick to put the robe back on once Victor announced the class was finished, and he couldn’t help but enjoy the view of Yuuri in his robe. It was almost as distracting as a semi-naked Yuuri which caused his mind to wander all over again. Victor was so distracted by his thoughts that he had to ask Yuuri to repeat himself when he realized he was talking to him.

“I said, how was I?” There was a slight blush dusting Yuuri’s cheeks, and Victor had to refrain from leaning down to kiss them.

“You’re a natural. You did amazing.” Victor hoped his voice was reassuring but his stomach was doing summersaults and he knew that his blood pressure must be through the roof. Yuuri’s eyes lit up at the praise, so Victor assumed he was successful.

“Thanks, I probably should go change.” Yuuri gestured to the back room but didn’t move. Victor tried to make his head nod, but it was as if his brain was short-circuiting. _You’re a goddam adult Victor. Stop acting like a teen with his first boner._

Thankfully a student walked up to ask a question and Yuuri made his way to the back room to change. Victor had to remind himself that they were in a classroom and that his main focus should be on his student. He addressed the line of students but was glad to see that Yuuri was still there waiting for Victor. Once the rest of the students left and the professor for the next class entered Victor and Yuuri exited the studio and made their way to the hallway.

Yuuri seemed conflicted. Just as Victor was about to ask why Yuuri met Victor's eyes and asked, “I’m not sure if you needed to do anything with the break but if not did you want to grab lunch together before the next class?”

“Of course!” Victor answered before thinking about a response. Rationally his brain told him that he had a perfectly suitable lunch upstairs in his mini fridge and some distance from Yuuri would probably be a good thing if his objective was to keep things professional. Selfishly, Victor wanted nothing more than to spend more time with Yuuri in any way the man permitted. However, Yuuri’s grin was breathtaking and Victor didn’t feel any guilt as they made their way to the café.

They both ordered the soup and sandwich combo, and Victor had to fight Yuuri at the register when he insisted to pay for both combos. The cashier laughed at the display and made a comment about how cute they were as a couple causing Yuuri to blush and Victor to almost dropping his tray.

Both men laughed off the comment, but to Victor's delight, neither of them corrected the cashier either. It was crazy how comfortable and easy conversation flowed between them. To Victors delight, Yuuri spent most of the time talking about himself and his love for figure skating. The mood between them was so light that by the time lunch was done and they had to make their way back to the studio Victor felt like he’d finally gotten a handle on his emotions.

That time when Yuuri went to change Victor didn’t have to force his mind to think of something else. The afternoon class was mostly second years, so Victor didn’t have to worry as much about this group since most were experienced. What that meant was, when class started, and Victor made his way around the class, no one really needed his help leaving him to wonder the class without a purpose. After the third pose, Victor became restless and decided to get out his own sketchbook.

Pulling a piece of charcoal from his pocket and flipping open the sketchbook to a fresh page, Victor's fingers moved rapidly with sure strokes as he sketched Yuuri’s current pose. It helped, a little since it quelled the thirst of his inner artist and the part of him that lusted after Yuuri. When the class was done, Yuuri quickly changed and left saying he had to leave for practice.

After Victor was done answering the questions of a few lingering students he went straight home.  He promptly changed his clothes and grabbed Makkachin for a run. Victor didn’t often feel the need to exercise but today he had too much pent-up energy, and he thought it would help clear his mind.

The cold air made his lung burn a bit as he ran, and he had to watch out for ice patches, but it was good. Makka seemed thrilled originally with the run but tired faster than he normally did. Victor hated to see age catching up with his beloved poodle, but they made it home without much effort.

When he got home to the empty house loneliness hit him like a freight train. Chris texted him earlier to say he had a date and he didn’t expect to be home that night. After making dinner for himself and Makkacin Victor got out his sketchbook and admired his work for the day. To his delight, he was happy with the few pages he completed of Yuuri in different poses. It didn’t take long before Victor felt his eye get heavy and he fell asleep on the couch.

He was too hot.

At first, Victor didn’t know where he was because the room was so dark. His skin felt like it was on fire and there was nothing he could do to ease the discomfort.

He thought he was still laying on the couch at home until the lights slowly began to filter into the empty studio room. Somehow, he had fallen asleep on the bench back in the studio and the room was void of the desks and chairs. Just as he was about to get up the door to the back room opened and Yuuri stepped out in Victor's silk robe. Yuuri’s hair was slicked back and his glasses were missing causing the heat in Victor's body to rush simultaneously to his nether regions.  

Yuuri made his way to Victor casually undoing the robe as he walked. As the robe dropped to the floor Victor made to sit up only for Yuuri to place a hand on his chest and force him back down. Neither of them said a word as Yuuri straddled his hips and began leaving opened mouth kisses along his neck. Victor groaned and found himself grabbing the flesh in Yuuri’s thighs. He couldn’t believe this was real, but he didn’t care. At that moment everything felt right and if this was a dream he hoped he never had to wake up. 

Yuuri continued his assault on his neck while grinding his hips. If this was real, Victor knew the moan of pleasure that escaped his lips would have been embarrassing but right now he couldn’t give a damn. Ever so slowly Yuuri began unbuttoning his shirt nipping and kissing along the newly exposed skin.

“Stop teasing my love.” Victors voice was low and full of want. Yuuri only laughed and proceeded to blow cool air on his oversensitive skin. Victor hissed, and Yuuri finally sat up to met his gaze.

“How badly do you want me?” Yuuri asked innocently as if he was ignorant to the fact that he was driving Victor wild.

“More than anything.”

Yuuri smiled down at Victor with a look full of love and tenderness softly caressing his cheek. Victor leaned into the touch and was confused when it made his cheek wet.

Victor jerked awake with a gasp as Makkachin licked his face and barked triumphantly when he opened his eyes. He was still aroused from the dream and the tent in his pants made it uncomfortable to move. Victor cursed and slowly rolled over to get up and make his way to his bedroom. He hasn’t had an erotic dream in a very long time and never one that vivid. It felt way too real causing his chest to ache from the loss.

Still in his clothes from his run Victor stripped quickly and took a cold shower. He let the cold water run down his back for what felt like hours before his body cooled and he felt calm enough to dry off and slip into bed. Victor didn’t bother with clothes as he brought the covers around him and waited for sleep, contemplating how he was going to make it until the end of the semester.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was worried I wasn't going to be able to finish this chapter this weekend but here we are! 
> 
> Hopefully this chapters answers some of the questions you've asked in the comments. :)
> 
> Special thanks to all of you following this story and an extra thanks for those that have left comments each chapter! I love hearing from you!


	6. Dinner & Drinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“Odd things happen to all of us on our way through life without our noticing for a time that they have happened.”_  
>  ― J.M. Barrie

For the next two days and nights, Phichit spent every possible moment finishing his masterpiece. When he was finally done, Yuuri offered to take his friend out to dinner to celebrate. The Ratskeller was an awful name for a campus pub, but it had the best and cheapest burgers in town. It also had a reputation to not ask for ID, allowing the two friends to enjoy a few drinks in public. After all, it was Thirsty Thursdays and all drinks before 10:00 pm were half price.

Neither skater had class the next day and practice was late enough that they didn’t have to worry too much if they woke up hungover the next morning. With the promise of tomorrow being his first payday, Yuuri let loose and allowed himself a night to splurge.

“Yuuri! Tequila shots are only threeeee dollars!” They were already a few drinks in and it seemed that Yuuri, as usual, had a higher alcohol tolerance than his roommate.

“I am not doing shots with you Phichit. How about we order something classy like a martini or a mixed drink?” Yuuri scanned the drink menu trying to find something that would distract Phichit from ordering shooters.

The last time Yuuri and Phichit did shots it was at some Halloween party. Neither of them remembered much from the night before but they woke up on the floor of their dorm room retching into trash cans.

Phichit looked over to scan the drink menu as well. “I want a redheaded slut.”

Yuuri laughed. “But you hate Jager.”

“Yeah,” Phichit grimaced. “How about a porn star?”

“Are you just looking for the most sexual drink names?” Yuuri teased. The pub was packed full of students laughing and drinking. Luckily their table was towards the back of the room away from most of the larger wilder tables. 

“Yeah!” Phichit practically shouted as he attempted to flag down their server to order more drinks.

Their waitress was a petite blond girl that Yuuri thought he recognized from one of his tutorials. As soon as she saw Phichit flag her down she quickly made her way over to their table. “What’s next boys.”

“One porn star, and one mountain dew-me please," Yuuri said with a straight face while Phichit doubled over laughing. Their server, unfazed by the order, only nodded and made her way to the bar.

"Who are you and what have you done with my best friend," Phichit asked after he finished wiping the tears from his eyes.

“What do you mean?” Yuuri took a sip from his water glass and motioned for Phichit to do the same.

“I mean I usually have to beg you to come out with me but here you are inviting me out and ordering us fruity drinks. Has becoming a nude model loosened you up a bit?” Phichit gulped down the rest of his water and poured himself and Yuuri more from the pitcher their server left on the table.

"Haha, very funny.” Yuuri thought he would feel more uncomfortable with his job now that he had to pose practically naked in front of a room of students but to his surprise, he wasn't. The first class was a little awkward and the morning before Yuuri was a panicking mess, but the rest of the week went relatively easy. None of the students made him feel awkward in any way and after the first couple poses Yuuri was able to relax and focus on holding the poses he memorized from Victors figure drawing book.

The only thing that bothered him was, well… Victor.

On the first day, things seemed fine. Victor called him a natural after the first class and when they had lunch together they bantered back and forth with ease. Yuuri wasn’t used to connecting with a person so quickly, but Victor was so easy to get along with. After spending most of the day with him, Yuuri thought they were at least becoming friends.

The next day, however, Victor could hardly look at him. He seemed tense and flushed all of class. When Yuuri asked if he was feeling alright Victor just brushed him off and practically bolted from the room. Yuuri had brought in the coat and scarf Victor lent him and he was counting on returning them to the man after class.

So that morning, Yuuri decided to stop by Victor's office before class with the intention of giving Victor his stuff back. When he arrived at Victor's office, the door was open, but the room was empty. Not wanting to carry the items around till their studio class in the afternoon Yuuri didn’t think it would be a big deal to hang the jacket and scarf on the coat rack in the back corner of the office. Just as Yuuri was about to leave he noticed Victor's sketchbook was open on his desk. He immediately recognized the sketches from the poses he did in the first class and Yuuri was stunned to see four little versions of himself on paper.

Yuuri had seen Victors sketches before from the doodles in his old textbook but these were different. Yuuri thought he actually looked erotic in the sketches somehow and he was shocked to see how much detail Victor captured in the short time he held the poses. Although he didn’t want to admit it Yuuri secretly loved that Victor sketched him this way. It meant for that for short amount of time, Victor's eyes were focused on him. Not Yuuri the shy business student or Yuuri the Japanese figure skater. Just Yuuri. It thrilled him to know that Victor thought he was worth sketching and for the first time, Yuuri felt the desire to capture Victor's attention.

He hoped to see Victor sketch him again in class, but he didn’t. Yuuri could feel Victor's gaze on him the entire time but every time he caught his eye the man would look away. He was worried he might have done something to make Victor uncomfortable around him, but he had no idea what it could have been.

“Are you even listening to me Yuuri?” Phichit asked shaking Yuuri out of his thoughts.

“Sorry what?” 

Their server returned with two drinks in hand. One was lime green and the other was dark purple. Yuuri reached for the purple cocktail and took a sip. The drink was sickly sweet but went down easily. "You only space out like that when something is on your mind. Oh, and I think that’s my drink.”

He had reached for the drink without thinking and as a way to avoid answering Phichit’s question. “Sorry, at least it tastes good.” Yuuri handed the drink to Phichit and grabbed the other. 

“Come on, spill it, and I don’t mean your drink.” Phichit laughed at his own joke.

Yuuri played with his straw contemplating whether or not he should tell Phichit about Victor. After a few sips of the green liquid, Yuuri told Phichit everything. From Victor driving him home to his weird behaviour in the studio the last two days. 

“Wait. You’re telling me that the hottest man alive rescued you from freezing to death and offered you the jacket off his own back in order to keep you warm. Then he helped you in the craft store, got coffee, and lunch with you then sketched you when you were practically naked and is now blushing every time he looks at you? AND YOU’RE JUST TELLING ME THIS NOW!” Luckily the pub was loud enough that no one seemed to notice Phichit’s outburst.

“Can you keep it down,” Yuuri whispered. “We’re in public. You’ve been busy. And I didn’t say he was blushing. Just that he seemed flushed.” Out of everything, he didn’t know why that distinction felt so important to make.

Yuuri went to take another sip of his drink but was surprised to see he had finished it already. Phichit downed the rest of his and ordered two tequila shots ignoring Yuuri’s protests.

“Yuuriiiiii, you’re so naïve! I’m willing to bet my hamsters lives that Professor N’s got the hots for you.” For Phichit to bet the lives of his beloved pets he meant business. The lives of those rodents meant more to him than his own and he spoiled them rotten.

Yuuri wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol in his system but he found himself not wanting to argue with his friend. “You really think so?”

“Absolutely!” Phichit slammed his hands down on the table making the empty plates and glasses in front of them shake.

The waitress arrived with the shots, cleared the table of everything but their drinks and mumbled something about cutting them off. Phichit grabbed the salt from the table, licking the back of his hand and shaking some of the salt onto his hand before motioning for Yuuri to follow his example. “A toast to my best friend, Yuuri Katsuki,” Phichit raised his tequila shot toward Yuuri the lemon wedge still balanced on the glass. “For catching the eye of the sexiest man alive. May he sweep you off your feet, so he can throw you on his bed and have his wicked way with you!”

“Oh my god, I am not drinking to that.” 

“Fine, fine, fine.” This time Phichit grabbed the lemon slice and pointed it at Yuuri. “To my best friend, Yuuri Katsuki. May the humble artist confess his love for the lovely figure skater, so they can live happily ever after.”

Yuuri rolled his eyes, “How about, to my best friend, Phichit Chulanont. May his hard work pay off and may his dream of his masterpiece be selected for the students exhibit become a reality.”

"I guess that's ok," Phichit said, clinking glasses with Yuuri before they both licked the salt off their hands, downed the shot, and bit into the lemon for dear life.

* * *

To Yuuri’s delight, he wasn’t hungover the next day. Phichit was still asleep so Yuuri did his best to be quiet as he made his way to the pantry to try and find something for breakfast. Neither of the skaters could cook well and the communal kitchen on their floor was always a disaster with dishes piled a mile high in the sink. 

Since Yuuri and Phichit technically lived in one of the residence buildings, they had a meal plan that allowed them to eat from certain cafeterias on campus three times a day for free. However, since their building was off campus, the boys tried to keep a few quick food options in the pantry at all times so they didn’t have to bus to campus just to eat. It seemed though neither of them had made the time that week to go shopping.

Grabbing their reusable shopping bags, Yuuri made his way to the grocery store. They were lucky to have a grocery store only a block from home. In no time at all, Yuuri found himself with a basket on a mission to restock their pantry. The trick was to get as much food as possible while still being able to carry it all back to the dorm. Most of the time, the skaters would go together so they could bring twice as much back, but today Yuuri didn’t have the heart to wake his friend.  

Yuuri was at the bread bar debating on whether he should buy toast bread or bagels when he noticed him. Victor was at the deli counter, with a pink ticket in hand, waiting for his number to be called. Assuming Victor hadn’t seen him yet, Yuuri debated if he should go up and say hi or if he should wait for Victor to spot him. Considering Victor had been acting weird that week, Yuuri thought it would be best to wait and see if the Russian called him over like he did that day in the art store.

Pretending not to notice someone right in front of you is easier in theory than in practice. Yuuri tried to make himself look busy while staying in Victors view. He wondered over to the cheese section, even though Phichit was lactose intolerance, and pretended to appear like he was looking for something in the bin. Victors number must have been called since Yuuri saw him walk towards the counter and place his order with the clerk out of the corner of his eye. Assuming Victor would turn in his direction at any moment, Yuuri made sure to keep his attention on the produce in front of him.

If anyone was watching him, they would for sure think he was crazy. No person stares at cheese for as long as he had. Yuuri had already picked up every type of cheese in the bin pretending to examine it twice. Without being too obvious, Yuuri averted his eyes to try and see if Victor had finished. When he didn’t see him, he strained his eyes a bit further trying to catch a glimpse of silver hair. Not seeing any signs of him Yuuri risked looking back in Victors direction. The deli counter still had many people in line waiting to be served but Victor was nowhere in sight. _Great, now he’s gone._ Sighing Yuuri picked up a block of smoked cheddar, put it in his basket, and made his way to the cracker aisle. _Might as well grab something to go with this expensive cheese you don’t need._

Yuuri made his way through the store on the hunt to find Vic- crackers. In the canned goods aisle, Yuuri spotted Victor. He was wearing the jacket he lent Yuuri and dark wash jeans. When he turned, the jacket was open revealing a plain white t-shirt. Yuuri had never seen Victor dressed so casually and he couldn’t help staring. Victor seemed surprised to see him but quickly smiled and waved him over. _Maybe Phichit was right. Maybe he is into you._

“Yuuri! What a pleasant surprise!” Victors cart was incredibly full of fresh produce. Yuuri tried to think of the last time he bought a vegetable and shuttered.

“Hey Victor, it’s crazy that we keep running into each other.” _Shit, that sounded stupid._

“I know. I’m beginning to think you’re stalking me.” Victor said with a wink causing Yuuri’s face to heat.  

“I’m not!” Yuuri blurted out quickly while wondering if Victor saw him before and thought he was acting weird.

Victor smiled, “I’m just teasing you. In fact, we’ve probably crossed paths many times this year but never knew it. I live right around the corner from you.”

“You do?” Yuuri was surprised to think that Victor lived nearby. The houses sounding campus were mostly run-down student houses and he couldn't see Victor living in any of them. 

Victor nodded and resumed shopping pushing his cart as he walked. Yuuri followed scanning the shelves as they passed to see if he needed anything else. “Yeah, I live about six blocks west of you. I pass your building on my way to work every day.” 

“Small world.” Yuuri stopped to grab a few cans of soup to add to his basket.

Victor waited for him but looked at the contents of his basket with a strange expression. Aside from the cheese and bread, everything else in Yuuri’s basket was non-perishable. Granola bars were great for an on the go snack and instant noodles were cheap and a college staple. “If you want to grab a few extra items I can drive you home.” 

“No this should be enough.” Yuuri looked down at his basket, satisfied that he got enough for Phichit and himself to make it through the weekend without having to go back out. “Phichit and I don’t really cook so I just needed to grab a few things.”

Victor quirked an eyebrow, “Don’t tell me you live off of bread and instant noodles?”

Yuuri flushed, “No, we often eat on campus.” 

“I think that’s even worse!” Victor looked appalled and Yuuri wanted to change the subject desperately. “When was the last time you had a home cooked meal?”

Yuuri didn’t have to think of his answer for very long. It had been just over four years since he was home last and since moving to Detroit he hadn’t used a stove once. “Um, since the last time I visited my parents.”

“Which was?”

“About four years ago.” Victors mouth hung open and Yuuri wanted to disappear. It never bothered him before that his lack of culinary skills forced him to rely on takeout and dried goods. His mother was an amazing cook and rarely asked for his assistance in the kitchen when he lived at home. He was always focused on practice or school so learning to cook didn’t seem like a propriety till now.

“That’s a crime! You’re an athlete Yuuri! You need to make sure you’re eating a well-balanced diet.” Celestino had used almost those exact words every time he saw his skaters with unhealthy cafeteria food. There were always healthier selections and Yuuri did often try to order those options, but in the last year especially he often found himself turning to food for comfort after an especially hard day. “What do you plan on having for dinner tonight?” 

Yuuri looked at the contents of his basket again before meeting Victors gaze. “I’ll probably grab something from campus after practice.” What Yuuri didn’t mention is that every Friday after practice Phichit and Yuuri would get the greasiest fish and chips since it was only offered Friday nights in their favourite food building.

Victor clucked his tongue, “What time do you finish practice?”

“Around seven, why?”

Victor seemed to contemplate something before saying, “You should eat a proper dinner at least once and a while. Why don’t you come over to my house after practice and I’ll make you dinner? I can even pick you up, so you don’t have to bus.” 

“No!” Yuuri didn’t mean to shout so loud but he couldn’t help it. Victor had done so much for him over the last few weeks and he didn’t want Victor to go out of his way to cook for him. “I mean that’s a very nice offer but that’s too much Victor.”

"Nonsense! I have to cook for myself anyway. My roommates going away for the weekend, so I'd be all alone. You'd be doing me a favour."Victor gave him a pleading look and Yuuri found it hard to resist.

“Only if I can help you. I’m not the best chef but I can follow instruction.”

Victor’s smile was blindingly bright causing heat to flow from Yuuri’s chest. “You got yourself a deal! Give me your phone and I’ll program my number in, so you can call me if you’ll be delayed or something.” Yuuri handed Victor his phone and Victor gave his phone to Yuuri as well. After they finished exchanging numbers both men stood awkwardly in the aisle.

“Well, I guess I’ll pick you up around seven.” Victor seemed tense all of a sudden mirroring Yuuri’s own nerves. _Why am I feeling nervous all of a sudden?_

"Yeah, it's a date." Yuuri didn’t think before the words left his mouth. Victor looked surprised but quickly schooled his reaction trying to hide a grin. “I don’t mean like a date, date! But a date. Like a plan. It’s a plan!”

* * *

Once they said their goodbyes and parted ways Victor took out his phone and typed a quick text to Chris.

_You were right. There is a guy and we have a date tonight!_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally forgot Phichit's under 21 when I first wrote my outline. I didn't want to change the bar scene so thats why I added that bit about the pub not asking for ID. 
> 
> Sorry this chapters a bit short!
> 
> Let me know what you think! I love hearing from you all!


	7. What Is This Feeling?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“You have that faraway look in your eyes that makes me want to pull you into my dreams, bring you to your knees worshiping me - desperately. You, the nectar and the muse of my poetry.”_  
>  ― Melody Lee, Moon Gypsy

By the time Victor drove home and brought the groceries in, he had eight missed calls, five voicemails, and thirteen texts from Chris. An all-time record considering only about fifteen minutes had passed.

When the phone began to buzz again, Victor picked it up on the third ring. Before he could even get out a hello, Chris was cursing in French.

“J'en ai ral le cul! Tu me gonfles! Oh hello? VICTOR! How can you text me something like that then ignore my calls!” 

Chris only spoke French when he was really frustrated, really excited, or in the throes of passion. Victor only knew the latter from living with Chris in their college days. Their rooms were side by side and the walls were paper thin.

“Sorry! I was driving.”

“So, you ignored my calls while they were ringing in your car!” It was Chris that convinced Victor the hands-free Bluetooth was a must-have feature when he bought his car.

“I didn’t have my Bluetooth turned on. It drains my battery!”

“Mon Dieu! Where are you now? I’m almost at your office.”

“I thought you had an early practice before you left for your trip this weekend?” Chris had plans to meet his parents for a ski trip in Aspen. Although they complained every time that Verbier had the best skiing, Aspen was close enough for Chris to sneak away for the weekend without interrupting his schooling or skating.

“I left early. As soon as I read your text I told Josef I had to go. I have to leave for the airport in two hours and we’re talking before I go. Where are you?”

“There’s no need to be so dramatic Chris.” Victor forgot how over-the-top Chris got when it came to his love life. It had been a few weeks since they even had a boy to talk about. Chris’ last boyfriend was a dentist that was, according to Chris, a great fuck but as boring as watching paint dry.

“Um, yes there is. For the first time in two years, the great Victor Nikiforov finally has a guy! Now where the hell are you?”

“It hasn’t been two years.” _It’s been one year, eight months, and four days but who’s counting?_

“Où es-tu?!” Chris all about shrieked. 

“I’m at home!”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes or less.”

Before Victor could reply Chris ended the call.

* * *

“And then, when he said he’d pick me up after practice, I said it’s a date.” Yuuri tried to hide his embarrassment at his own words behind his hands. Phichit, for once, hadn’t said a word as Yuuri explained the encounter with Victor at the store. Probably because the Thai man was too busy eating a Nutella sandwich with the bread Yuuri bought. The hazelnut spread was Phichit’s favourite, often forgoing the bread in favor of eating it right from the jar with a spoon. After their night of drinking though, Yuuri made him the sandwich, insistent he put something in his stomach to soak up the alcohol.

“What did he say?” Phichit said, after it seemed clear that Yuuri was done.

Yuuri dropped his hands and looked up at his friend. “Nothing we just said goodbye and went our separate ways.”

“So, he didn’t say it’s not a date?” Phichit’s eyes gleamed with excitement Yuuri wished he could mirror. Instead, he was a ball of nerves.

"No, but, I don't know what to think. If it’s a date wouldn’t he say it’s a date? Maybe he’s just trying to be nice? Or maybe he doesn’t want to be home alone since he said his roommate will be out of town? Maybe he’s looking to be friends? Friends invite each other over for dinner, too right?” Yuuri was a jumble of questions. His walk home gave him time to replay the conversation over and over in his mind trying to pick apart Victor's intentions. When he got home to see Phichit awake, he jumped into his story to get his friends advice only pausing to make the sandwich. 

“Do you want this to be a date?”

Yuuri let Phichit’s words sink in before answering.“I think so?”

Phichit smiled. "Then I think we need to pick out a kick-ass outfit that screams I'm interested and don't take your eyes off me!"

* * *

Chris slammed the front door and ran into the kitchen, throwing his keys on the counter. Victor had just finished putting the groceries away and was waiting patiently at the kitchen table for Chris to arrive.

“I see you have the kettle going.” Chris pointed to his beloved Kate Spade kettle that was simmering on the gas stove. “You must be serious then.” On cue, the kettle began to whistle. Chris made his way over to the stove, pouring the boiling water into the two cups that were already waiting on the counter with tea infusers. Victor was silent as he waited for his friend and settled into his regular seat across the small table.

“So, what’s his name?”

“I’d rather not say.” Victor was careful with his words. He wanted to talk to Chris about Yuuri, but he wasn’t ready to tell Chris who he was. Since Yuuri and Chris were both competitive skaters, he was worried the two would know each other and he didn’t want to put his friend in an awkward situation. 

Chris raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He knew better than to poke Victor for information he wasn’t ready to give. “We met just before the school year started. He’s a fifth-year business student so you don’t have to worry about me being creepily involved with any of my students.”

“I wouldn’t judge you if you did.” Chris took a tentative sip of his tea and flinched when the hot liquid burned his mouth.

Victor ignored him and continued, “I don’t know how to describe it, but we sort of clicked. Something about him drew me in completely, and I felt for the first time in a long time like I could breathe again.”

“At first, all I could think about was drawing him. I tried to sketch him a hundred times before I saw him again,but nothing I did would turn out. Then, as I got to know him more, I felt myself wanting to slip into my old habits and I got kind of scared, so I backed off, but it was really hard! I can’t seem to get him off my mind, Chris. He plagues my every waking moment and for the past couple nights I’ve even dreamed about him.” Victor slumped down on the table, the cold marble a welcome feeling on his forehead.

“Sounds like you got it worse than I expected.” Victor didn’t need to look a Chris’ face to see that he was delighted.

Victor huffed, "Don't tease me, Chris, this is serious! I don’t know what to do!” 

“Why do you have to do anything? You said you have a date with him tonight. Just take him out for a good time and when the night is over don’t give more than a chaste goodnight kiss. Don't even think about bringing him back to the house and you’ll be fine. If you’ve been able to keep yourself in check for two years, one date isn’t going to change anything.”

Victor raised his head slowly from the table. “That’s the problem. I offered to make him dinner, here. I was so excited when I first texted you, but then I realized we’d be here, alone, and now I’m freaking out. I don’t think I’ve ever just dated someone and I don’t want to mess this up!”  

Chris nodded a simple understanding gesture."I don't think you should overthink it. Just relax, be yourself, and see where things go. Think of what your limits should be for tonight, and if he’s insistent in crossing them, explain why you can’t. Any decent person would understand.”

“I guess so.” Victor took a sip of his tea. The familiar taste of rose and bergamot relaxed him helping to soothe his worries.   

Chris took out his phone, “Want me to call Nadine? She may be able to squeeze us in if I ask now?” The only reason why their house wasn’t a complete disaster was because of Nadine. She was more than just a cleaning lady since Chris trusted her to care for his beloved Persian while he was away before Victor moved in. She lived fairly close by and had her own set of keys to the house.

“There isn’t much to clean. She was in only a few days ago.” Victor looked around the kitchen but saw nothing out of place.

“Yes, but you have a very important guest coming over and I’m sure you want to make a good impression.” Chris had the phone to his ear before Victor could protest further.

* * *

Yuuri was finding it very difficult to concentrate on practice when all he could think about was his dinner with Victor. He already asked Celestino if he could end practice early, so he had enough time to shower and change before Victor picked him up. His coach agreed if Yuuri was able to show him he was ready for Four Continents. The music for his free skate was playing over the loudspeakers and Yuuri ran through the program without his usual poise. When he finished he could feel the sweat dripping down his temples as he struggled to control his breathing.

Celestino waved him over and Phichit made his way to the center of the ice to preparing for his own run through of his program. Just as Phichit’s cheery free skate music started, Yuuri reach the boards their coach was leaning on.

“You’re still too stiff out there,” Celestino chided as he kept his eyes on Phichit.

“I know.”  Yuuri rasped as he took a sip from his water bottle. “I just got a lot on my mind today.”

“Your theme for this year is supposed to be devotion. I’ve seen you devote yourself to your studies over the years and in the last weeks a renewed devotion for this sport. Over the weekend I want you to think long and hard about what devotion means to you. The next time you skate your programs I want nothing else on your mind. I don’t care who or what you come up with but if you want to medal at the next competition you need to do more than just push through your program.” Celestino’s tone was firm and left no room for discussion. 

“I will,” Yuuri answered, as he watched Phichit fumble his triple axel for the third time today. The skater got right back up but Yuuri could see the hesitation in the way his friend was now moving. Celestino clucked his tongue clearly disheartened by both of his skaters. When he finished, Phichit made his way over to the boards with a look of apprehension on his face. 

“You both are off your game tonight. We’ll call it here for today, but I want to see better from both of you on Monday. We have less than two weeks before we leave for Japan and I think you both have the potential to score a season’s best with all the hard work you’ve put in.” The words stung even though Celestino’s voice didn’t have any bit to it. Yuuri could tell their coach wasn’t mad but trying to motivate them. Both skaters nodded as Celestino handed them their skate guards and made his way to his office.

“Want to come in with me tomorrow to practice our jumps?” Phichit asked as they made their way to the locker room. Yuuri agreed easily knowing he could use the extra practice time and that Phichit was determined to land his triple axel in competition. Both skaters showered quickly while chatting idly about their programs and the upcoming competition. 

Only last week Yuuri was still waiting to hear if he was even going to qualify for Four Continents since his season had taken a turn for the worst. He was determined to prove to himself and his coach that he could come back from his failures at Nationals and the Grand Prix Series.

Checking the time, Yuuri still had a good half an hour before Victor would pick him up. Phichit helped him get ready by styling his hair and gushing about how excited he was to help Yuuri prepare for his dinner. Even if this wasn’t a date, this was the first time Yuuri had plans with anyone other than Phichit in a long time. Yuuri was thankful that his friend didn’t press him anymore about his feeling for tonight and instead let him fuss over his look. After googling what to wear on a first date Phichit and Yuuri decided on a thin grey sweater and Phichit’s black jeans. Both items fit too snug for comfort in Yuuri’s opinion but Phichit wore him down, insisting he looked amazing.  

The chime of Yuuri’s phone echoed in the empty locker room making Yuuri jump. Victor texted him to let him know he was waiting in the parking lot and to take his time. With one final glance at his reflection in the mirror and a quick hug from Phichit for good luck, Yuuri made his way to the exit.

* * *

After Chris left for the airport Victor was beside himself. He realized he didn’t have a clue of what Yuuri liked to eat and he wanted to impress him with something simple yet delicious. The only meal they ever shared was crappy soup and sandwiches from the café which was nothing to go by. Victor scoured the internet for inspiration, but he had no idea what he was looking for.

First, he thought to look up traditional Japanese dishes since he assumed Yuuri would enjoy something from home. To Victor's disappointment, Google kept showing him stir-fry recipes that looked too plain for the mood he wanted to set. When he looked for something more complex, Victor began to worry that if he suggested a traditional Japanese dinner Yuuri would think he was trying too hard and he didn’t want to come across as desperate. So, Victor switched gears and started looking up recipes for romantic first date dinners.

Almost every website suggested the same things, leaving Victor with the option of some type of seafood pasta or red meat and potatoes. He decided to stay clear of the pasta options since he wasn't sure if Yuuri was allergic to seafood, and he was sure Yuuri had pasta on a regular basis. Victor loved steak, but he didn’t have a barbeque or grill to cook it on and pan-fried steak wasn’t nearly as good. A roast wasn’t an option either since Yuuri wanted to help cook and it would take too long to make by the time he got there. The idea of the two of them cooking side by side absolutely thrilled Victor and he wanted everything to be perfect.

When Nadine arrived to clean the house, Victor asked her option. He only tasted her cooking on a few occasions but everything she had brought them was amazing. She suggested he try searching a food blogger she followed that made amazing simple dishes with easy to follow instructions. While Nadine cleaned, Victor made suggestions from the blog until they decided on a Greek-inspired chicken and potato recipe that looked delicious. Nadine convinced him that chicken was common enough that almost everyone enjoyed it, but, when cooked right, still had the potential to wow his date.  

This recipe was simple since it called for everything to be thrown together in a pot to cook, but had added instructions on how to make a gravy from the leftover juices, making it a little fancier than a typical chicken dish. Victor was relieved to find all the necessary ingredients saving him from having to make another trip to the grocery store.

Next, Victor ventured into the basement to look for anything he could use to set a romantic tone. Chris had turned the basement into his idea of a perfect entertainment hub. The main area had a large flat screen tv that rested above a gas fireplace. The plush shaggy carpet was soft enough to lay on, although Victor wouldn’t dare, since he imagined his roommate had only one reason for installing such ridiculous carpet throughout. In the middle of the room, there was a large U-shapedleather couch that could easily seat eight people. The ottoman matched the couch perfectly and if position right, could extend the couch to look more like a bed allowing four people to sprawl comfortably.

Towards the back of the room, Chris had a small bedroom installed with an ensuite bathroom that had a jacuzzi tub big enough for two. Anyone who knew Chris, and saw their basement, knew exactly what this basement was used for. Victor had hoped to find some candles, but was disappointed to only find tea lights that spread the width of the mantle above the fireplace. Luckily, they hadn’t been lit yet meaning the probably had about four hours’ worth of use. Victor brought them upstairs and went to work at setting the dining room table.

The large table regularly sat six, but had an extension to fit more. Chris and Victor rarely used this room, preferring to eat on the smaller table in the kitchen, but it had a beautiful chandelier that Victor wanted to utilize tonight. It seemed Nadine had just polished the oak as the room smelt like orange wood polish. Careful not to ruin the gloss, Victor set the table with their nicer dinner set with a lace racer that ran the length of the table. After the tea lights were arranged to his liking he called Nadine in to check on his handy work. She agreed with him that the setting was perfect and went back to work.

* * *

After everything was prepared and Nadine left, Victor still had a few hours to kill before he had to pick up Yuuri from the rink. He tried to use the time to focus on finishing the midterm he had to hand in for printing in a week, but his mind kept wandering to his plans for that evening. With Chris gone, Victor didn’t have anyone else to occupy his time. It had been a while since he called home so begrudgingly pulled up his godmother'scontact number and waited for her to answer the phone.

“Vitya, how nice to hear from you. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to grace us with a call this month.” Victor flinched at her harsh tone. Even though Lilia and his mother saw each other as sisters, the two couldn’t be more different. Lilia was stern and hard, while his mother had been soft and gentle. 

“Lilia, I hope I didn’t wake you, you sound grumpy.” It was late in Saint Petersburg, but Lilia never went to bed before midnight.

“No Victor, we were just watching a movie. You’re on speaker, everyone’s here.” Lilia only called him Victor went she was annoyed. He knew he had to tread carefully unless he wanted a full-blown lecture about not calling home enough. 

“Hi Yuri, Hi Yakov!” Victor only got grunts of acknowledgment from both males, probably annoyed at Victor's interruption.

“How is Denver? Has it been snowing a lot?” Lilia asked, and Victor rolled his eyes. No matter how many times he told her he was living in Detroit, she kept getting the two places confused.

"He's in Detroit Mom, not Denver,” Yuri corrected. 

Victor felt ice in his heart every time he heard Yuri refer Lilia as Mom.The woman did raise him as her own son, but Victor couldn’t see Lilia in that way. Yuri knew this and tried to avoid referring to her as such in front of his brother. Probably catching the blunder Yuri quickly added, “Yakov won’t let me do quads at worlds even though I proved that I could land them!” 

“You’re too young Yurochka, you won’t get anyone to convince me otherwise.” His godfather had always been a little rough around the edges, but he always had a soft spot for Yuri. The two were so alike, Lilia often called to complain about them butting heads, both stubborn as mules.

Victor laughed, “You sound just like Vera when she was trying to convince mom to let her start point early.”

The other end of the line was completely silent as Victor realized what he had just said. Since their passing, Victor never brought either of them up in conversation so casually. The silence was awkward as neither of them knew what to say.

Eventually, Lilia said, "Yes, I remember. Vera asked me to try and persuade Calina but I agreed with your mother.She was so mad she threatened to never speak to me again.”

The memory of that day came back to Victor in a flash. It was the twins tenth or eleventh birthday and Lilia andYakov were over for dinner. Vera brought up the topic at the table and locked herself in her bedroom after everyone agreed she was still too young. She was so mad she wouldn’t come out for dessert. “I got to eat her slice of birthday cake that night and she was so mad the next morning that we didn’t save her some.”

“Would I have been born yet?” Yuri asked hesitantly.

The question tugged at Victor's heart knowing anytime he brought up the past like this, Yuri desperately tried to remember where he fit in the picture. "No, but mom might have been pregnant with you then." 

“Oh,” Was his only response as the line went silent again for another awkward pause. 

“I have a date tonight. He does ballet and figure skating, so he’d fit right in!” Victor blurted without thinking. _What the hell was that!_

“A figure skater?” Yakov sounded much closer to the phone than he did a moment ago.

“Uhm yeah.” Victor wished he could take back the words or end the call, so he could avoid this conversation. _It’s your own fault for bringing it up._

“Is he in singles? If he trains at your school I might know him or his coach.” _Shit!_

“Ahhh I’m not sure. It’s the first date so that’s probably something I should ask tonight?” Victor had no intention of sharing Yuuri’s identity with his family yet. If things didn’t go well, he didn’t want them awkwardly getting involved.

“Yes, well we hope it goes well Vitya.” Lilia quickly added obviously trying to save Victor from his slip up. “We should probably go back to our movie. Have fun and be safe!” Victor gave a quick goodbye and ended the call before he died from embarrassment. 

After the most awkward family phone call in history, Victor went back to work trying to busy himself till it was time to go. After a few hours of surprisingly productive work, Victor concluded enough time had passed to go to the rink to wait for Yuuri. He would still over an hour early, but Victor couldn’t wait in the house any longer. On the weekend, the campus was practically empty except for a few students. At night the campus lit up giving the buildings a romantic glow from the street lights.

Having nothing else to do, Victor took out his phone and opened his music to listen to something while he waited. The sound of soft jazz thrummed through the car speakers giving Victor the idea to make a romantic playlist to play while they cooked and ate. He was so engrossed in his task that he almost forgot to text Yuuri that he was waiting for him in the parking lot.

Yuuri had said he’d be finished around seven but Victor wasn’t sure if that meant he’d be finished earlier or later. He wanted to make sure Yuuri wasn’t waiting inside for him when he was already in the parking lot. Not even a few minutes later, there was a tap on the passenger window as Victor saw Yuuri wave timidly. Victor immediately unlocked the automatic door and Yuuri stepped inside the car. He was surprised to see Yuuri so quickly, but he couldn’t control his grin anticipating the wonderful night ahead of them. 

"Wow, you look amazing. Do you always look this good after practice?” Yuuri went beet red and looked like he was about to choke. _What is with you tonight! Has the ability to think before you speak completely evaded you? Be more subtle or you’ll totally freak him out!_  

Victor felt every muscle in his body go taught as he waited for Yuuri to say something. “Ah no, not really. These are Phichit’s jeans so um yeah.” Yuuri looked appalled by his answer quickly averting his gaze to his lap. Victor hadn’t really noticed what he was wearing and quickly looked him over. He was wearing the same brown coat he wore everyday with black pants and black loafers. "I meant your hair, I don't think I've ever seen you style it that way.” 

“I just showered after practice, so I threw some gel in. That’s also why my glasses are missing. I hate contacts, but I have to wear them to skate and I didn’t feel like taking them out.” Yuuri’s response was rushed and a little breathy making Victors heart sore. _Maybe he’s just as nervous as you are!_  

"Well, either way, you look great. Glasses or no glasses, gel or no gel."

* * *

  _He thinks I look great! Has he looked in a mirror lately?_ Yuuri wanted to say but held his tongue. Instead, he mumbled a thanks and Victor started the carchanging into first with practiced ease. 

“Do you prefer to drive manual?” Yuuri wanted to ask the question the first time Victor drove him home but he never did. 

“Yes, it’s a completely different experience than driving automatic. Can you handle sick?” 

Yuuri was glad Victor's eyes were on the road, so he could hide his face in the crook of his jacket. _He’s referring to the car stupid, not what you’re thinking._ “No, I actually don’t even know how to drive. You have to be eighteen to drive in Hasetsu and I left for Detroit just before my birthday.” 

“Really?” Victors eyes darted to Yuuri before returning to the road. “Why not get one here?”

“I never had the need or a car to practice with, so I never bothered.” For ID, Yuuri had his Visa so he really didn't need anothercard to prove who he was.

“I can’t say I’m the greatest driving teacher but if you’re interested you can at least practice with my car, if you want?”

For what felt like the billionth time that week, Yuuri was floored by how easily Victor offered to go out of his way for him. His initial reaction was to politelydecline the offer, but a selfish part of him wanted the opportunity to spend even more time with this man. “You’d really let me use your car? You’re incredibly trusting.”

Victor smiled, “I’d be in the car too of course. Well find the biggest and empties parking lot and so long the weathers not horrible, you can practice. Getting into first is always the hardest but once you’ve mastered that, the rest is easy.”

“Okay, but only if you teach me. If your driving instructions are half as good as you are in class I’m sure I’ll learn in no time.”

Victor reached over and grabbed Yuuri’s handing giving it a quick squeeze. “It’s a date. 

There it was, that word again. _Date._

Yuuri took a deep breath and forced the words out before he could overthink it. “Is that what this is? A date?”

“I’d like nothing more.” Victor let out a deep breath before adding, “Only if you’re okay with that.”

“More than okay.” Yuuri had all day to think about it and he decided that he really wanted this. “I haven’t really dated before, so I’m kinda new at this.” 

To Yuuri's surprise, Victor responded, “Me neither. We can figure it out together.” They were stopped at a stop sign and Victor took the opportunity to face Yuuri. “But since I’m technically your boss I think we should keep this between us for now until the semesters done. Is that ok?”

Instantly Yuuri began to panic. “My roommate already knows. I mean he knows I’m with you tonight and that this might be a date. I really wasn’t sure but he kind of convinced me it was so…” 

Victor cut him off before he could finish, “Its fine! You two seem really close so, I’m sure if you tell him to keep quiet he will?”

Yuuri nodded. For everything Phichit was, loyal was one of them.

"Then it's fine."

Yuuri visibly relaxed as Victor turned his attention back to the road. Within a few minutes, Victor pulled into a long and narrow driveway. Yuuri couldn’t help but gawk at the gigantic house in front of him. “You live here!” 

Victor grinned, “Yeah, do you want to come in?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> j'en ai ral le cul - I'm so fucking fed up  
> tu me gonfles - you're pissing me off  
> mon Dieu – my god  
> Où es-tu – where are you  
> I studied French for 9 years in school, but I sucked at it. Please feel free to correct my French if any of my translations are wrong. 
> 
> So, I had every intention of having the actual date in this chapter, but I decided to break it up because it was getting to be way too long. Good news is a large chunk of the next chapter is done so I hope to finish the rest soon!
> 
> The [link](https://foodwishes.blogspot.ca/2015/04/greek-lemon-chicken-and-potatoes-both.html) for the Greek chicken and potatoes is actually one of my favourite dishes to make and I highly recommend trying it out!
> 
> The [tea](http://www.tamborinetea.com.au/earl-grey-amore-tea) Victor and Chris drink is also very lovely. 
> 
> The Kate Spade [kettle](https://www.bedbathandbeyond.ca/store/product/kate-spade-new-york-all-in-good-taste-2-5-qt-tea-kettle/3285009) is a bit of a personal joke slipped in. My fiancé got me this kettle when we moved in together. I loved it and used it all the time. After about a month of having it my fiancé accidentally turned on the wrong burner completely ruining the kettle. My stove still has blue stains on the burner and he had to buy me a replacement.


	8. The Long Day is Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love”_  
>  ― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

The house stood out from the rest of the homes on the quiet street. Although this community was nicer than the student rentals they passed a few streets back, Victor’s house stood three stories tall and appeared to be significantly larger than the rest. Despite its size, the house looked cozy with dark red brick and a stone walkway leading to the front steps from the driveway.

When he got out of the car, Yuuri noticed all the houses on this street looked well maintained and cared for. Even though Victor lived only a few blocks from him, it was crazy to see how different the two neighborhoods looked. As they approached the front door, Yuuri could hear barking from the inside and noticed Makkachin with her nose pressed against the large bay window.  

“Sorry about him.” Victor pointed towards the poodle with his free hand that wasn’t busy unlocking the front door. “I can put him outside once we get in.” At hearing the keys in the lock, Makkachin vanished from the window and began barking at the front door. 

“It’s okay. I don’t mind having him around.” When the door opened Victor used his body to block the poodle from bolting. Once he had a firm grip on the collar Victor opened the door for Yuuri to follow. The dog was fighting his owner, determined to welcome their guest. Being unable to resist him Yuuri crouched down to greet Makkachin properly. The poodle immediately tried to jump on him, but Victor held him firmly.

“Makkachin no.” The command was clear, but the poodle ignored him attacking Yuuri’s face with kisses. Giddy laughter filled the room as Yuuri gladly indulged the poodle. “You’re just as bad as him.” Victor chided letting go of the collar and stepping out of the room. When he returned Yuuri was still on the floor with Makkachin but the poodle had flipped onto his back, shamelessly begging for belly rubs.

At the sound of a high-pitched squeak, the dog'sears rose and Makkachin rolled to his feet. “Do you want your toy?” Victor asked in a baby voice as he squeaked the toy again. Immediately the poodle dropped his upper body to the ground and wiggled excitedly, ready to play. “Go get it!” Victor threw the fluorescent coloured toy down the hall and Makkachin chased after it, happily dropping to the floor where it landed to chew.

“I love my dog, but if I didn't distract him he would have never let you leave the front door. He's a sucker for attention. Can I take your coat?" Yuuri shrugged off his jacket and handed it to Victor who hung it in a closet overflowing with jackets and shoes.

The foyer was grand with tall ceilings that had to be at least at least two stories high and had cherry wood floors. A beautiful crystal chandelier twinkled above, painting the room in a soft glow. “This place is amazing Victor," Yuuri said stepping out of his shoes.

“Wait till you see the rest of it!” Victor reached out for his hand and Yuuri took it willingly. The familiar buzz that ran through his fingers where their skin connected was thrilling. “This is the sitting room," Victor explained as he gestured towards the room on the right. "We literally never use this room and it has a really beautiful grand piano that neither of us knows how to play. To the left through the double doors is Chris' home office. He's almost finished research for his masters so there are books and papers everywhere.” 

“Your roommate’s name is Chris?”

“Uh yes. I’d show you the room but it’s really messy.” Victor tugged on Yuuri’s hand as he continued to show him the rest of the house. He pointed out the bathroom before leading him through the long hallway.

“Are these yours?” Yuuri asked as they passed a series of paintings that spanned the width of the hallway.

“No, but the one in the living room is.” When they reached the end of the hallway Yuuri was amazed by how open the space was. “Through that door on the left is the dining room and over here is the kitchen and living room.” Yuuri scanned the room taking in the beautiful white cabinets and marble countertop that spanned the majority of the kitchen in an L shape that was the only separation from the living room. To the right above the gas fireplace hung an enormous canvas Yuuri assumed to be Victors.

The painting was of a tree, beautifully depicting the four seasons. Although it was one image, the painting was divided into four fluid parts that showed the tree in each season.“Wow, you did that?” Yuuri asked pointing to the painting.

Victor made his way into the kitchen and took a seat at a small table towards the back corner all without letting go of Yuuri’s hand. “Yeah, in my second year of my undergrad we had to paint a nature scene for one of my courses. I couldn’t decide what season to do so I painted all of them! Chris loved it and offered to pay me for it, but I gave it to him as a gift when he moved out from our apartment in Moscow.” 

“Is that where you’re from?” Yuuri was starving after practice and not haven eaten anything since lunch, but he wasn’t about to interrupt their conversation to ask about dinner. Finding out more about Victor's past was far more important than his empty stomach.  

Before answering, Victor's grip got a little tighter before it relaxed. As if in apology Victor began to rub his thumb in circles on the back of Yuuri’s hand. “Kind of. I was born in Saint Petersburg, but we moved to Moscow just before my twelfth birthday when my stepdad got a promotion.”

Geography wasn’t Yuuri’s strongest subject, but he recognized the two major Russian cities. “So, you’ve always lived in a big city?”

Victor nodded, “What about you?”

"My parents own an onsen in a small town about an hour west of Fukuoka. I used to dream about moving to a big city like New York or London but after moving to Detroit I really miss Hasetsu.” 

“What’s an onsen?” Yuuri explained how the hot spring worked as a bathhouse and inn. Victor was fascinated and asked a bunch of questions that Yuuri answered easily. Their banter back and forth continued until Yuuri’s stomach made itself known. 

“You ready to start making dinner?” Victor asked with a coy smile. As he stood to make his way towards the kitchen Victor let go of his hand and he immediately missed the warmth. 

“My stomach is, but…” Yuuri wanted to say he wanted to keep talking but to his delight Victor seemed to understand without him having to voice it. 

“We can talk and chop.” Victor turned on the oven then made his way to the fridge. “Do you like chicken and potatoes? I realized when I got home I didn’t ask what you’d like to eat but I found this recipe that sounds amazing.”

“I’ll eat anything really.” Yuuri stood by the counter awkwardly and waited for Victor to give him something to do. Before long, half the counter was full of ingredients and cooking utensils.

“What’s your favourite?” Victor took out a potato peeler from a drawer and handed it to Yuuri.

“I’d say anything my mom makes but if I had to pick one thing it would probably be katsudon. It’s basically deep-fried pork with rice, eggs, and vegetables.” Victor began rinsing potatoes in the sink and handed one to Yuuri. Unsure of where the garbage was, Yuuri began to peel the potatoes letting the peels fall into the sink.

“Your mom’s a great cook then?” Victor asked as he placed a bowl by the sink that Yuuri assumed was for the peeled potatoes.

“The best and she knows it. When people ask for her recipes she just smiles and says if they like her cooking they should come back for more.” Yuuri smiled fondly at the thought of his mother. No matter how tired she was she always had a smile on her face.

“If this katsudon is your favourite, maybe I can persuade her to give the recipe to me,"Victor said while opening a pack of chicken thighs and running the pieces under the water. “It would be to feed her wonderful son after all.” They were so close side by side at the sink.

“Done!” Yuuri put the last of the potatoes in the bowl and tried to hide his blush. “Where can I put the peels?” Without saying a word Victor reached across Yuuri’s front and pulled open the drawer to Yuuri’s left. Inside were two bins, one filled with garbage and the other with recycling. Victors arm rubbed against his stomach as he passed and Yuuri had to suppress a shiver.

Yuuri muttered a thanks and began to dump the peels into the garbage. He could feel Victor's eyes on him, but he ignored him. “What’s next?” Yuuri asked not looking up from his task.

“We need to dry and season the chicken, cut the potatoes into quarters, then throw it all in a baking dish and put it in the oven.” Victor finished up with the chicken while Yuuri sliced the potatoes. The two finished off the dish and Victor put the baking pan in the oven and set a timer.

“We make a great team in the kitchen," Victor said opening the fridge. “Should we make a salad to go with dinner or something else?” Yuuri agreed with salad and Victor began to take more stuff out of the fridge.

“Do you mind if I put on some music?” Victor asked as he took his phone out from his pocket. “I usually like to have something playing in the background while I cook.”

“Go ahead.” Soft jazz music began to play from speakers Yuuri couldn’t see. “Where’s the music coming from?”

“There are speakers in every room." Victor pointed to a small box hidden above the cabinets. “Chris has a friend that installs sound systems for businesses and he got him to set one up throughout the house.”

“That’s really cool.” _How much money does this friend of yours have?!_

“What do you want to go in the salad? I have a bit of everything.” Victor gestured to the vegetables on the counter.

“I’m fine with everything but green peppers,"Yuuri said as he eyed the foul vegetable on the counter. 

Victor looked amused but said nothing as he put the peppers away and brought the rest of the vegetables towards the sink. Yuuri helped, and together they washed, dried, and chopped the vegetables. Occasionally Victor would make a suggestion of how to best cut the vegetables, but they finished the salad but for the most part, the music filled the comfortable silence between them.

A new song started as they finished the salad and made their way to the couch to relax while they waited for the chicken and potatoes to finish cooking. The woman singing had a soft and silky voice that accompanied the soft jazz perfectly. Yuuri stopped halfway between the kitchen and living room to close his eyes to enjoy the song. He didn’t realize he was swaying along to the music until he felt hands wrap around his back and he opened his eyes to see Victor swaying along with him.

Yuuri couldn’t help the surprised gasp that left his mouth. The smile left Victor's lips as he let go of Yuuri and went to take a step back. The gesture had surprised Yuuri, but it wasn’t at all unwelcome. To prove that point Yuuri closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Victor's neck resuming the dance. Victors seemed to hesitate a bit before returning his hands to the small of Yuuri's back, this time pulling him closer as they danced.

“This song is beautiful,"Yuuri said looking up at Victor's face. The man wasn't much taller than him but Yuuri had to incline his head to meet Victors gaze. The way they were dancing reminded Yuuri of high school dancing with Yuuko. Her and Takeshi had only started dating back then but Yuuko insisted they danced at least one slow song together.

“Norah Jones is one of my favourite American singers.”

“What’s your favourite type of music?” So far, this was the only song that had lyrics. The others were a mix of jazz and classical pieces Yuuri never heard before.

“All kinds, I grew up with a lot of classical music since my mom was a ballet teacher, so when I want to unwind that’s usually what I listen too. When I’m painting,I usually try to find music that fits the piece and I'll listen to a song or artist on repeat till it’s done. In the car, I usually just play whatever’s on the radio.”

Yuuri wanted to ask about Victor's mother but he asked him about his music preferences before he had the chance. “I really like musicals.” The next song sounded like it was from the same singer as before and was just as soothing and easy to dance too. “Since I moved to Detroit they’re all I’ve really listened too.”

Before Phichit moved in, Yuuri had a lot of free time when he wasn’t skating or doing work. Every Thursday night the common room had a movie night and their don was a big fan of musicals. Yuuri loved everything about them, the singing, the dancing, everything. 

“Really?” Victor chuckled. “What’s your favourite?”

“That’s tough. I love so many of them, but I’ve been listening to my Disney playlist a lot lately.” As a kid, Yuuri only had seen a few Disney movies. When he moved to Detroit they were all anyone seemed to talk about even though he thought the movies were mostly made for children. Phichit adored them and in the first year of living together, Yuuri and Phichit watched every animated film Disney released in chronological order.

“I don’t think I’ve ever watched one.”

Yuuri stopped dancing. “Really? Not even when you were little?” 

Victor shook his head. “We can put one on after dinner if you’d like?” Although they had stopped dancing neither of them let go of the other.

“Sure.” Yuuri’s response was breathy to his own ears. They were still standing in the space between the kitchen and living room. As they danced their holds on each other grew closer so that now while they were stooped there was barely any space between them. They stood there blinking at each other before Victor cleared his throat and detangled himself from Yuuri.

“I’m thirsty, can I get you a drink?” Victor took a step back and made his way towards the kitchen. 

“Uh sure,” Yuuri followed a few steps behind.

* * *

_What were you thinking!_ Victor tried to keep his voice leveled as he made his way to the kitchen. Dancing with Yuuri seemed like a great idea at first. It was romantic and Yuuri seemed fine with it. It wasn’t until they stopped that Victor noticed how close they were and how easy it would be to lean down for a kiss. 

“I’ve got juice, soda, wine, and I think a beer somewhere.” Victor opened a cupboard and took out two glasses.

“Just water please.”

Victor busied himself with the task of filling the glasses with ice and filtered water from the dispenser in the fridge. He handed one glass to Yuuri and practically downed his in one go. “Do you want to sit?” Victor gestured towards the couch and Yuuri nodded. Before they sat down Victor got two coasters from within the side table hearing Chris’ voice in his head about not ruining the furniture. _Keep him talking._

“So, um, figure skating. Do you compete in men’s singles?  I’ve never heard you mention a partner before.” Victor remembered Yakov’s question from earlier and thought it was a safe enough topic to bring up.

"Yeah, I do. You said you brother skated too when we first met?”

“He does, he’s in the junior division but he plans to move to seniors next season.”

“What? He competes? I thought I knew most of the junior skaters, but I don’t know another Nikiforov.”

Victor took out his phone to pull up a picture of his brother. “That’s because he doesn’t go by Nikiforov, it was our mother’s maiden name. When my parents got married we hyphenated our names. Yuri prefers to go by our father’s name Plisetsky.” 

Yuuri’s eyes widened at the name before Victor even had the chance to show him the picture. “Your brother is Yuri Plisetsky?”

“Yeah, do you know him?”

“Know him? He attacked me in the bathroom at the Grand Prix Final!”

“What!” A part of him expected Yuuri to know of his brother. Over the years Yuri made a name for himself in the skating community as Russia’s next up and coming skater for men’s singles. He was not expecting him to say his little brother attacked him.

“Yeah, the competition just finished, and I guess he was there to watch since he wasn’t old enough to be competing. I was upset because I did horribly, and in walked Yuri looking ready to murder someone. I was going to ask him if he was alright but before I couldhe slammed his fists on the counter next to me and proceeded to lecture me about my program. He said some pretty awful things before he turned and left as if he hadn’t just totally humiliated me further.”

Victor flinched, he could totally see the scenario play out in his head. “I swear my brothers not all that bad! What did he say to you?”

“Basically, criticized my skating and told me he expected more from me. I literally never met the kid before, but he was so mad as if I personally offended him!”

“That was you!” Victor couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out. He knew that was the total wrong reaction to have, but he couldn’t hold it in. Yuuri’s face fell and Victor quickly tried to get himself in check. “I’m so sorry for laughing Yuuri but I know for a fact my brother idolizes you!”

“What!” It was Yuuri’s turn to look shocked. 

“My brother is so self-absorbed when it comes to skating he doesn’t even bother to watch his fellow competitors. Yakov’s tried to get him to be more of a team player for years but Yuri refused. It was a shock for us when Yuri showed interest in going to the Grand Pre Final. Since the competition was in Russia Yuri begged Yakov to take him with him. Yakov had to go since he coached one of the finalists.” 

“Apparently, Yuri really wanted to see one of the skaters compete and he called me to beg me to convince Yakov to take him with him. After the competition was over and I talked to Yuri again I asked him what he thought. He told me the skater he wanted to see so badly came in last and he was worried he was going to retire before he had the chance to skate against him! I’m sorry for whatever he said but I know my brother and that was probably his messed-up way of trying to motivate you to do better?”

Yuuri just looked at him, confusion written all over his face. “I don’t know what to say. I guess that kind of makes sense, but I doubt he idolizes me. I’m really nothing special.” 

“Of course, you are!” Victor blurted before thinking. “I mean I’ve never seen you skate but if Yuri thinks you’re worth watching then you must be amazing. By the way, I’d love to see you skate sometime. I've wanted to ask but I thought it would be weird?” 

Yuuri blushed, “If you really want too you can stop by one of my practices.”

“I’d love too!” The loud beeping from the oven started them both. Victor got up to turn off the timer and reach into the pantry for the oven mitts. As he took out the dish the smell of lemon and herbs filled the room making his mouth water. Victor placed the dish on the stove and checked over the meal before plating it.

"That smells so good," Yuuri said has he made his way into the kitchen.

“I need to make the gravy for this while the pans still hot. Do you mind picking a dressing from the fridge and toss the salad?” Yuuri agreed and together they finished off the final touches of their meal. Once everything was done and they brought the food to the table Victor lit the tea lights and went towards the wine fridge. 

“If I open a bottle of champagne will you have some?” Victor had already set the table with water glasses and champagne flutes waiting to give Yuuri the choice.

“Sure, but what are we celebrating?”

“Oh nothing, I just like champagne.” Victor was tempted to open the bottle of Dom Pérignon he’d been saving but he knew Chris would skin him if he opened it without him. Instead, he reached for the gold bottle of Bottega and popped the cork. He sat across from Yuuri, poured some in each of their glasses.

Before he spoke Victor raised his glass and Yuuri followed. “Thank you for agreeing to tonight and for helping me make dinner.”

Yuuri blushed, “Thank you for inviting me. I’m having a great time.”

Victor touched his glass to Yuuri’s as the loud clink echoed in the room. “To more great nights then.”

* * *

The food was amazing. Yuuri was tempted to inhale his entire plate he was so hungry, but he controlled his pace not wanting to embarrass himself in front of Victor. The music from earlier was still playing but it was much quieter now from the speakers in the kitchen. Throughout the meal, they chatted effortlessly about trivial topics like the places they wished to visit one day to their plans for the weekend. They continued to talk long after their plates were empty, neither wanting to interrupt the easy conversation. At some point, Makkachin wondered into the dining room, the bright coloured toy from earlier still in his mouth. He settled himself under the table, content to be close to the action. Yuuri tried to stifle his yawn but it was getting late and the events of the day were catching up with him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to talk your ear off. Should we call it a night and watch a movie some other time?” Victor stood grabbing their plates and walking them to the sink. Yuuri followed with the empty tray and salad bowl. 

“Maybe, but let me help you with the dishes first.”

"There's not much to wash," Victor said as he gestured to the dishwasher. “Everything pretty much just goes in there.” Yuuri insisted and together they loaded the dishwasher and wiped down the countertop.

“Ready to go?” The night had been perfect and Yuuri didn’t really want it to end. “Mhmm," Yuuri mumbled through another yawn.When they reached the foyer, Victor retrieved Yuuri’s jacket for him and waited as Yuuri slipped his shoes on. 

The car ride was quick, and before he knew it Yuuri was awkwardly fiddling with his seat belt wondering what to do next. “Can I walk you to the door?” Victor asked. Yuuri agreed, not quite ready to say goodbye just yet.

Victor parked the car in the lot on the side of Yuuri’s dorm and the two walked side by side up the path to the lobby door. They were close enough to touch so Yuuri hesitantly reached for Victor's hand. The gesture felt safe enough since they had held hands a few times now. It seemed they were entering uncharted waters that both thrilled and nerved him.

“I had a great time tonight.” Victor offered as they made it to the front doors. 

“Me too.” He wanted to say more to keep Victor there, but it was cold, and he really was tired. “Did you want to come in?” It felt like the polite thing to say. Even though he was tired Yuuri really didn’t want to end the night and it was too cold for them to simply stand there.

Victors face contorted into a weird expression at the question as if he had just been punched in the gut. “I um really should get going. Plus, I’m sure your roommates home and I wouldn’t want to make things awkward.”

“Phichit wouldn’t mind. He’d probably join us.” Yuuri said with a nervous laugh. If Victor did come up Phichit would probably bombard him with a million embarrassing questions. Yuuri shuddered at the thought and was about to rescind the offer when he noticed the look of utter horror on Victors face.

“I thought you said you were just roommates!” Victor practically screamed.

“We are?” Yuuri answered confused. “But you’d want to… with him… and me?” Victor still seemed complete dumbfounded and Yuuri was desperately trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

“Honestly its probably not a good idea now that I think about it. Phichit would probably just embarrass the hell out of me by showing you videos of my falling on my ass or tell you stories about, as he likes to call it, my ‘wild side’.” When he drank Yuuri did tend to let loose a little more than most people and Phichit wouldn’t waste a minute to pull out those stories. 

“You guys film yourself too!” This time Victor did yell. His face was beet red and he looked completely disheveled.  

“Yeah, all the time? It the best way to see how we’ve improved or where we went wrong.” 

“Wow… I really didn’t think you’d be into all that. I don’t mean to judge you or anything but I’m just really shocked.”

“What are you talking about?” Victor looked like he was torn between fainting and bolting. “Of course, I’d be into it. We are professionals after all. I usually delete the videos after we’ve looked them over. There’s no point to watch the same routines over and over again in different clothing. Phichit, on the other hand, saves all the ones of me falling because he thinks it’s hilarious even though he falls on the ice way more than me.” Victors eyes went wide before he burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” The question only made Victor laugh harder as he doubled over. Tears began to form at the edge of his eyes and Yuuri really didn’t understand what was so funny. “Victor seriously I don’t get what’s so hilarious.”

When Victor calmed down enough to speak he said, “When you asked if I wanted to come in I thought you were inviting me to spend the night.”

Yuuri had to let the words sink in until he understood what Victor meant. “Oh my god no! No, no oh my no! I meant its cold and I don’t really want to say bye yet, so I thought maybe you could come in and have like tea or something? I don’t know but god! I didn’t mean that!”

Victor wiped the tears from his eyes before grabbing one of Yuuri’s hands. “You’re amazing Yuuri Katsuki.” Yuuri held his breath as Victor brought their joint hands to his lips and press a soft kiss on his knuckles. “I’ll see you in class on Tuesday?” Yuuri barely managed a yes before Victor said goodnight and walked back to his car. Too stunned to move Yuuri continued to stand at lobby doors as Victor waved from the car as he drove by. Yuuri managed to wave back in time before taking out his keys and bolting to his room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the second half of the last. I decided to break it up when I posted last week and I hope it was the right decision? 
> 
> For anyone who's interested, Victors painting would like something like [this](https://mydiamondpaintings.com/products/four-seasons-diamond-painting-kit) or [this](https://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Tree-with-Four-Seasons-Tree-Painting-Canvas-Art-Print/12117250/product.html).
> 
> Jazz is my fiancé's favourite and this chapter was largely inspired by one of our first dates. Norah Jones is awesome and the two songs referenced are [The Long Day is Over](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcdbGxYX9es) and [Come Away With Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbjZPFBD6JU). 
> 
> We're at about the halfway point! Thank you to all of you who have read and suck with me though this so far! :)


	9. Something More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“One must give himself completely to his art and not hold back. Throw caution to the wind. Embrace the muse. Make love to your art.”_  
>  ― Harley King

Yuuri was dreading Tuesday.

Usually, he looked forward to seeing Victor. He liked the small talk they’d make between class, and he loved it when he caught Victor staring at him, but now… now he was scared.

Yuuri was supposed to be focused on Four Continents and figuring out what devotion meant to him, but he was too busy thinking about Victor. The way his hand felt in his, how his eyes caught the light, and how his smile lit up the room.

He was thankful Phichit was asleep at his desk when he got home. His friend had pulled too many sleepless nights finishing his masterpiece and needed to rest. He was also thankful that Phichit wasn’t awake to ask him a million questions about his date.

To say Yuuri had a good time was an understatement. He had a great time. The best time. 

He loved that they were able to enjoy each other's company so much while doing something as simple as making a meal together. When they danced, it was as if nothing else in the world existed. Just thinking about it made his heart flutter. 

It was easy to admit that Yuuri thought Victor was attractive, anyone with eyes could see that. What he wasn’t expecting was just how easy it was to get along with him. Looks really didn’t matter to Yuuri and when they were together they just clicked. Over the last couple of week, Yuuri was able to see Victor for just Victor. 

Although they didn’t know each other for very long, he had seen Victor perform in class and lecture. The way he was able to mesmerize an entire room full of young adults, leaving them clinging to his every word left Yuuri astonished. When they were together in public, Victor held absolute confidence and grace that made all those around him take notice.

And yet… when he was alone with Victor, he didn’t feel like Victor was performing for him, it felt genuine. When it was just the two of them, Victor seemed softer somehow and was a bit of a dork. 

In class, Victor never doubted himself. But in almost every one of their private conversations, he seemed to stumble over his words just a bit. It was enough to prove that no matter how fantastic Victor was he was still just a person like everyone else, and Yuuri loved that about him.

He loved that Victor never flaunted his looks or his talents. Yuuri was enamored by how kind and selfless Victor acted towards him from the moment Victor offered him a job. He loved that Victor talked about plans with him like they were a given and not a question. 

But that wasn’t why he was scared for Tuesday.

He was scared because ever since Victor had misunderstood his offer to come in as an offer of sex, Yuuri couldn’t think of anything else. Literally. Nothing. Else.

Never before had he wanted to experience another person that way so intensely. Every time he replayed the conversation in his head, he realized how awful it must have sounded from Victor’s perspective, but that wasn’t what caused the anxiety to pool in his gut.

What worried him was Victor's reaction.

When he first suggested it, Victor looked terrified. It was as if he had asked him to view dead bodies instead of sleeping together. He noticed Victor had nervously tried to make an excuse as to why him coming up wouldn’t be a good idea, and after the confusion was cleared up, he looked so relieved that it had all been a misunderstanding.  

At first, Yuuri was worried it was because Victor wasn’t attracted to him that way. Instead of figuring out what devotion meant to him as Celestino asked, he vented to Phichit who was convinced Yuuri was exaggerating. The amount of I told you so’s proved that this wasn't going to be a subject Yuuri could persuade Phichit to let go. Phichit was acting like he predicted the ending of Lost from season one even though everyone doubted his theory.

Instead of getting in an extra practice on Saturday as they'd discussed, Yuuri and Phichit spent the whole day in their dorm room talking about the date and arguing over Victor’s reaction.

“Why don’t you just text him and ask?” Phichit asked for the third time.

“I told you, I’m not going to text him to say ‘hey Victor, remember when you thought I was inviting you in to have sex? Is that something you’d be into or no?'” 

Phichit rolled his eyes. “He kissed you!”

“On the hand.” The words came out as barely a whisper, but Phichit heard them anyway.

“It sounds to me like he was being a gentleman. Good looking and noble intentions.” 

Yuuri was about to argue the point further but then realized he’d have to admit to Phichit that he wanted more from Victor, so he kept his mouth shut. Instead, he said, "I don't want to come off as desperate, so I’ll just wait for him to text me.”

“Of course,” Phichit teased. “Whatever you say.”

* * *

 “Chris he’s perfect!” Victor screamed into the phone.

“You’ve said that chéri. A few times.” Victor could hear the amusement in Chris’ tone making him smile wider. “Are you going to tell me who this mystery man of yours is?”

“Nope!”

When Victor woke up that morning the first thing he did was google Yuuri’s name. Why he hadn’t thought to do this before was beyond him. The first link directed him to Yuuri’s Instagram page. Victor was thrilled to see the account wasn’t private only to be sad moments late when he saw that the man had just posted three pictures. 

The oldest was of an empty beach with no description. The location was marked as Hasetsu, Kyushu, and Victor remembered that was the name of Yuuri's hometown.  

The second was of Yuuri and another man laughing in a skating rink. This one had a description that read ‘The best roommate and rink mate a skater could ask for!’ with a bunch of emojis and hashtags. Victor knew immediately that the man with Yuuri had to be Phichit. It was nice to be able to put a face to the name Yuuri mentioned so often, but it was the third picture and most recent that had Victor grabbing his phone to call Chris.

The picture was of six men, three of which Victor didn’t recognize. Yuuri’s beautiful smiling face was sandwiched between the two men he did know. Georgi was a long-time student of Yakov, and Victor had met him on many occasions over the years. He knew he had an on and off again girlfriend, so he didn't see the skater as a threat. Chris, on the other hand, had one arm draped on Yuuri’s shoulder and their faces were way to close for Victor's liking. The description read ‘Dinner before the GPF! May the best skater win!’.

Victor was almost one hundred percent sure Chris was still dating the dentist at the time, but he had to be sure. When Chris answered on the second ring, Victor immediately regretted the call as Chris forewent a hello and immediately asked Victor if he got laid, and pressed incessantly for all the 'juicy details'. 

"Come on Victor! If you like him so much, it's only a matter of time before I find out. The suspense is killing me!"

Finally, Victor saw his chance to ask the question he’d been dying to say. “Enough about me, it’s time we found you a man! How long has it been? You haven’t been with anyone since you broke up with the dentist, right?” 

Chris snorted, "Did you forget about my date last week?"

_Shit…_ “Uhm you know me, memory like a goldfish. Have you um, been with anyone else in between?”

If Victor were asking anyone else this question they’d think it was weird. With Chris however, this was totally normal. "Let's see; there was poetry boy and gym guy. Oh! And there was this really cutie I met at my last competition.”

“Weren’t you with the dentist then?” _Please say yes. Please say yes!_

“Nah, we broke up a few weeks before, but I got to let you go! The lifts just about to reach the top and my hands are totally frozen! Kisses!” Chris hung up, and Victor had to stop himself from calling back immediately.

* * *

When Yuuri arrived in class Tuesday morning, Victor was already at his desk in the back corner. With a deep breath, Yuuri made his way over trying to keep his cool. After his freak out with Phichit on Saturday, Yuuri was able to focus on the assignment he had due later that week and practice. He even managed to reply to Victor's text the day before without heart failure, so that was a plus. 

Today's studio class was going to be okay. No one was going to find out about their date, and definitely, no one was going to find out about the sex dream he had last night. Absolutely not.

Professional, he could be professional. 

_Just say hi or good morning. Something casual._ Victor had his back to him, so he hadn’t seen him walk in yet. When he got to the desk, he just stood there. When Victor met his gaze, he knew he must have looked like a deer in headlights.

“Yuuri! Did you have a good weekend?”

"Yes?" The word came out more as a question, so Yuuri repeated himself trying to sound more confident. "Yes, a great weekend thanks. What about yourself?" _Good! That sounded professional._

Victor rounded the desk, so he was closer to Yuuri. They weren’t close enough to touch, or even close enough for anyone who may have been watching the exchange to think the interaction was strange. They were, however, close enough for Yuuri to catch a whiff of Victor's cologne and it took all of his willpower not to close the distance to get a better sniff. 

“I had an amazing evening Friday night. The rest of the weekend simply paled in comparison.” If Victor hadn’t winked, Yuuri would have dismissed the flirtation, but he definitely winked, and his heart melted.

“Oh… That’s too bad?” Yuuri meant for the words to come out somewhat flirtations but it sounded more like a question again. Taking a quick peek around Yuuri noticed there were only a few students in the room and most were busy talking or looking at their phones. None of them were paying any attention to them.

“Indeed,"Victors' voice was low and alluring. "Are you still good to spend the break with me?” 

The text Victor sent on the weekend asked if Yuuri wanted to have dinner with him sometime that week. Since he was leaving for Japan in five days, he had to decline in favor of extra practice time and adequate rest. Not wanting to give Victor the impression he wasn’t interested, he suggested having lunch together in between studio classes today.

“Yeah, is that still okay with you?”

“Of course!” They both stood there blinking and awkwardly smiling at each other.

Yuuri broke the awkward stair first by announcing he was going to change. He thought Victor was going to say something until the man covered his mouth with his hand and nodded.

When he got into the back room, the navy robe was there waiting. Yuuri was quick to undress and put on the robe. The material felt great on his skin, and in a way made him feel more confident. He felt better about stepping out of the room to face the class today then he did the week before. When he did, however, Victor was nowhere to be found. 

The class was filling up fast, and Yuuri was hoping to go over a few poses with Victor before they had to start. He waited by Victor's desk hoping he would return at any moment, but when the clock read that it was time to begin Yuuri wasn’t sure if he should start the class without him. When Victor burst into the room a minute later, he was flushed, and his hair looked like he’d just spent the last few minutes running his hands through his hair.

“Good morning everyone! You did this last week so do it again! Yuuri, whenever you’re ready.” It took a moment for Yuuri to react, but after a beat, he untied the robe and draped it over the bench like he’d done all of last week. 

He entered into the first pose, one hand resting on his hip while the other pointed towards where Victor was standing at the door. At the movement, Victor seemed to jump as if startled and he immediately moved from Yuuri’s line of vision. Confused, Yuuri tried to avert his eyes to follow where Victor had gone but he couldn’t.

When Victor announced it was time for him to switch positions, Yuuri moved to sit on the bench with his legs crossed. He arched his head away from the students in front of him in hopes to catch Victor's eye, but he had moved again to scan the rows of students monitoring their work. By the time Victor instructed him to move a third time, and Yuuri failed to get his attention, he was starting to worry. 

Yuuri tried between each of the poses to evaluate Victors mood, but it was tough. Every time he saw him, Victor seemed tense and avoided looking at him. Victor was never in his line of sight long enough for him to get a read on the other man. When class ended, there was the usual line of students waiting to speak to Victor. Yuuri used the distraction to get changed quickly and waited for the students to clear out.

When Victor finally met his gaze, he seemed more relaxed than he did in class and Yuuri was completely confused. After all the students left Victor was all charming smiles again as he collected his stuff and ushered Yuuri out of the room.

“I made us sandwiches for lunch! They’re in my office in the mini fridge. I also brought in some hot chocolate too since I remember you got some last week at Starbucks. I wasn't sure what you liked to drink, so I also got some soda and juice upstairs as well. Oh, and some water!” 

Although he was smiling, Victor seemed off. “Is everything ok?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t it be!” There was a slight twitch of his smile that made Yuuri think he was lying. When they arrived in Victors office, Yuuri shut the door and locked it for good measure. 

“Victor, I can tell somethings off so please just tell me. Was it something I did?”

Victor froze, arm halfway out to open the mini fridge door. When he turned to face Yuuri, he looked nervous. “Sorry, it's nothing."

Yuuri put his hands on his hips and waited. When it was clear, he was waiting for an explanation Victor continued. "It’s just… I find it really had to concentrate in class when you’re modeling.”

“Why?” 

“Honestly?”

“Honestly.”

Victor made his way to his desk and leaned on the edge. Yuuri followed by sitting in the same chair he sat in for his interview.

“A part of me just wants to sit there and draw you for myself. You inspire the artist in me, and I can feel my fingers itching to sketch you.”

“I’ve seen you sketch me before?” _and I liked it._

Victor flushed. “Yeah, I’m not really supposed to. I mean I can, but if I start I don't want to stop, and I really should be focused more on the students than on you. But that's not really the bigger problem."

“What is then?”

It took Victor a few moments to answer, but when he did, he spoke the words so fast Yuuri couldn't understand them.

“Huh?” 

“I said,” Victor murmured around the finger he was biting, “I find it really _distracting_ to do my job when you’re half naked in front of me!”

“Oh,” Yuuri was confused. “Is it like that for all your models?”

"God no!" Victor seemed appalled at the thought, and Yuuri felt himself relax. "I've sketched dozens of live models, and I've never felt like this about anyone before. I’ve always been able to keep my art and my… um… _pleasure_ separate. Hell, I’ve even sketched people after I’ve slept with them and I was able to keep things professional while I drew them.”

“But with you, it's like half of me wants to drag you to my studio to sketch you alone where no one else can, and the other half just wants…” Victor let the sentence hang, but Yuuri felt his cheeks heat at the thought.  

“Wants what?”

Instead of answering Victor simply gestured towards Yuuri. 

“You want me?”

Victor nodded, “I’m so sorry! Seriously, it’s getting worse! When you said you were going to get undressed this morning, I had to step into the hall and calm down.”

“So that’s where you went. I wanted to talk to you about what poses you wanted me to do, but you disappeared." 

"I am so sorry!" Victor had his hands in his face making his words muffled. "You must think I'm an awful person!"

“No, really it's fine! If anything, I’m flattered?” Yuuri hatted to see Victor so flustered. “If you really want to sketch me alone I don’t mind sitting for you.” The idea of him posing for Victor was thrilling.

If Yuuri had been in the same position a few weeks ago, he would have been too embarrassed to ever agree to something like this. But for Victor… 

Victor wanted to sketch him and bed him, and Yuuri felt exhilarated.

“Really?” It was Victor's turn to be perplexed.  

With a deep breath, Yuuri walked towards Victor and closed the distance between them. Yuuri had to stand on his tiptoes in order to whisper in Victor's ear, "You can have me or sketch me whenever you want.”

* * *

 

_CHRIS: Tuesdays are worse than Mondays._

_Whoever says Mondays suck clearly never had Tuesday morning practices with Josef._

_ME: HE’S SO PERFECT!_

_CHRIS: Mystery boy?_

_ME: YES!_

_CHRIS: Care to share?_

_ME: NEVER!_

_CHRIS: I mean his name not him!_

_ME: Your men never have a name._

_CHRIS: None of my men are ever PERFECT!_

_ME: True._

_Friday night there's an art show in the Hart Gallery at 8 pm._

_I'll put you down as my plus one, and I'll introduce you then._

_CHRIS: Really!? So, he’s an artist? ;)_

_ME: You’ll have to wait till Friday!_

_CHRIS: You AND Tuesdays are the worst._

 

* * *

Yuuri waited till they were home from practice to tell Phichit about his lunch with Victor and he was glad he did. As he expected, Phichit found the whole encounter hilarious. “I can’t believe you said he could have you! I’m so proud of you!”

“Yeah, now that I think about it neither can I, but I did, and he just asked if I wanted turkey or ham for lunch!”

 “Did he say anything else?” Phichit opened the jar of Nutella and scooped out a dollop with a spoon.

“He just talked about random people in his department and asked me if I’d be going with you to the gallery reveal Friday night.” Yuuri eyed the jar and the spoon.

Before answering Phichit handed the spoon to Yuuri and took another for himself. “Did he ask you to go with him? We all get a plus one?”

“No,” Yuuri put the spoon in his mouth and began to suck on the hazelnut spread. He had a no junk rule past 8 pm, but considering the day he had, he indulged in his best friend’s nasty habit.

“But he’ll be there?” Phichit took a lick from his own spoon.

Yuuri nodded. "He's on the volunteer committee."

“Then we have three days to pick an outfit that will make him beg you to take you home with him!”

"What about practice," Yuuri said around the spoon. 

“Cao Cao gave us Saturday off before we leave for Japan on Sunday. I don’t know about you, but I plan to celebrate or drown my sorrows in the free booze at this event. Your job will be to seduce your hottie of a boyfriend then tell me all about it after I sleep off my hangover!”

“I don’t know Phichit…” 

Then Phichit uttered the words Yuuri dreaded to hear, “Just leave everything to me!”

* * *

When it came to clothes shopping, Yuuri preferred to get in and out as fast as possible. Phichit, on the other hand, wanted to try on the whole store then whined when he couldn’t afford to get everything he wanted. Today, however, Phichit had dragged him to a thrift shop before either of them had practice or class for the day. After almost an hour of shopping, they had found a cart full of stuff for Yuuri to try on.

The first outfit Phichit made him try was a pair of dark brown khaki pants and a light blue dress shirt. When he stepped out of the dressing room, Yuuri tripped on the too long pants. The shirt also fit way to tight deeming both an no.

Next, Yuuri tried on black dress pants with a red shirt with gold detailing. The shirt was too flashy for Yuuri, but Phichit loved it and put it aside for himself. They both agreed that the pants were a good fit as they hugged him in all the right places. 

The next shirt Phichit insisted he try was one Yuuri begged him not to put in the cart. It was a black dress shirt with silver buttons and lace sleeves. After some begging and threatening, Yuuri agreed and stepped out of the change room. To his surprise, the shirt actually looked nice. It fit snug, but it was comfortable enough that Yuuri agreed to buy it.

When they got to the register, and the clerk told Yuuri the amount, he was shocked at how cheap the total came to that he insisted on getting the red shirt for Phichit as a thank you. 

Over the next few days, Yuuri and Phichit worked extra hard in practice to get ready for Four Continents. Although Yuuri couldn’t fully explain what devotion meant to him, he was able to pour himself into his routines enough that Celestino was pleased. 

By the time Friday rolled around, Celestino was so impressed with his skater’s progress that he ended practice early so long as they promised not to go too crazy at the gala that night. “I’ve arranged a car to pick you both up five Sunday morning so make sure you get enough sleep. I do not want a repeat of last year where I had to drag both of you through the airport because you both stayed up watching movies the night before a flight.”

“We promise.” Yuuri agreed for the both of them.

“Then have fun tonight!”

Phichit grabbed Yuuri’s arm and began dragging him towards the change room. “Oh, don’t worry, we will!”

* * *

Fridays were usually Victor's day to relax and catch up on the little things he wasn't able to get done during the week. When the department had asked for volunteers for the student gallery committee, he thought it would be a fun way to get to know his collogues better and it would give him something to do.

What he didn't realize was how much work went into preparing a gallery for an opening.

The student exhibit was a tradition in the department, and every year they wanted to showcase the best pieces in a new and unique way. The theme for this year’s exhibit was defying gravity. Each of the pieces were to be staged in a way that highlighted the piece while giving the display a ‘lighter than air quality' the dean was envisioning.

Multiple roles of fishing wire and a couple of near death experiences later, Victor and the rest of the committee had just about finished setting up the gallery. 

“A little higher on the left.” Anita was supposed to be holding onto the ladder to make sure Victor didn’t fall, but the rest of the volunteers had left to grab dinner before the opening leaving only the two of them left to do the finishing touches.

“How’s this?”

“Perfect! Now get down here so we can put this death trap away and change for tonight.” Anita’s bright blue hair stood out under the bright lights of the gallery.

After Victor got off the ladder safely and stored it in the supply closet, he took a moment to admire the room. "We did an excellent job don't you think?"

Anita snorted, “We meaning me and you, yeah. Everyone else bailed when we needed them. Now I can’t stop at home and shower before tonight.”

“We can always use the safety showers on the fourth if you’re desperate. I have soap and shampoo in my gym bag.” Victor offered. The west wing of the fourth floor had studios that experimented with different types of paints and clays. Although they never had to use the safety showers, they were there in case of an emergency.

“They’re out in the open. I’m not getting naked in the middle of the studio just to freshen up. It's more my hair that I'm worried about." The blue hair was tied up messily in a bun on top of Anita’s head.

“I can do your hair for you if you like?” When Victor had long hair, he loved to style it with thick braids and crazy up-dos. 

"Really? I'm garbage at doing my own hair. Whenever I have to style it, I usually get my roommate to do it for me, but she's not coming tonight."

“I’d love to! Do you have a brush and elastics?” 

Anita searched through her purse and pulled out one extra hair elastic and a few bobby pins.  “This is all I have.”

“Don’t worry. I can make it work.”

* * *

By the time Phichit and Yuuri made it to the Hart gallery the event was in full swing.

A black curtain separated the old exhibit from the new, and Phichit was glad they hadn’t missed the grand reveal. It had taken them both a longer to get ready than anticipated since Phichit insisted on styling both of their hair before they left. Phichit had gelled Yuuri’s hair back similarly to the way he had styled it the week before for his date with Victor. His own hair was gelled, so his bangs were slicked to the side mimicking a wave. 

“Yuuri I think I’m going to throw up I’m so nervous!” Phichit did look a little pale, and Yuuri insisted they find a place to sit. There were a few high tops scattered throughout the room with tall stools to sit on. Most of the tables were already occupied, but they were able to snag two seats close to where Victor’s paintings still hung. A few of the centerpieces that were on display the last time Yuuri was here had been moved. 

“Is that the woman?” Phichit pointed to Victors paintings and Yuuri nodded. “Wow, you weren’t kidding, she’s beautiful! But she looks kind of young don’t you think?” 

Yuuri hadn’t really thought much about the paintings since the day he first saw them. Things with Victor had been progressing so well that his previous jealous thoughts towards the unknown woman were forgotten. Now, as he looked at the beautiful woman his curiosity returned. “I don’t know. She looks late teens or early twenties to me.”

“I don’t think so.” Phichit squinted as if trying to get a better look. "She looks too innocent to be an adult, and there's a certain freeness about her that makes me think she's younger. Plus, the way she’s painted doesn’t shout any romantic vibes but a tender love and maybe fondness?”

"I guess so," The more Yuuri looked at the painting, the more he understood what Phichit meant. "That's why you're the art major, and I'm not."

“May I have everyone’s attention please!” The room immediately went silent as all heads turned towards the man standing in front of the curtain. “I want to thank you all for coming to our annual gala for the Student Art Exhibit.”

Applause began to fill the room, but Phichit reached for Yuuri's hand, and he held on tight. Out of the corner of his eye, Yuuri noticed Victor was on the other side of the room with a group of women. One of them he recognized as the woman he dropped off his forms to on the first day of classes, rocking blue hair this time instead of green. “I know most of you are anxious to see which pieces were selected but I have a few acknowledgments to make before the big reveal!”

“Oh my god no one cares!” Phichit whispered and Yuuri had to stifle a giggle.

“Our volunteer committee this year have worked really hard to make sure the best pieces were selected and displayed in a way that is sure to surprise and thrill you all.” The man gestured to the curtain behind him, and more applause followed. “A special thanks to the heads of the committee, our office admin Anita, and Professor Nikiforov, for making tonight possible!” This time a couple of girls Yuuri recognized from Victor's class cheered while the rest of the room applauded. “Anita, Victor, would you like to do the honours of pulling down the curtain.” The two exchanged a glance before the walked forward and pulled on the curtain. Yuuri felt Phichit tense while they watched the curtain fall. More applause followed while people began to walk into towards the exhibit.

Phichit squealed and grabbed Yuuri into a tight hug before he could really see anything. “Oh my god Yuuri, it’s there! They picked my masterpiece!” Phichit started to jump up and down, and Yuuri followed in his friend’s excitement.

“Congratulations Phichit!” Yuuri notices a waitress walking by with trays of champagne, and he was able to wiggle out of Phichit’s grasp to get them both a glass. “I’m so proud of you! I knew you could do it!” Yuuri handed his friend the champagne flute, and he downed it in one go.

“Yuuri, you have to celebrate with me! There’s an open bar here somewhere. I don’t know if they’re asking for ID but if they do can you grab me a few drinks!” 

“Of course.” Yuuri scanned the room and found two small bars set up on either side of the gallery. “What do you want?” 

“Shots if they have them! If not, you pick.”

Yuuri rolled his eyes. "Fine, but if all goes well tonight, I won't be home to take care of your drunk ass."

* * *

When Chris arrived at the gallery, the room was packed with people talking and admiring the gallery. He was thankful Victor remembered to add his name to the guest list as he made his way through the crowd. Usually, Victor was easy to spot in a group like this since his silver hair stood out. Tonight however, there were tones of people with crazy coloured hair and Victor was nowhere in sight. 

“Yuuri! Yuuri! it's Christophe Giacometti!” Chris turned at the sound of his name and was face to face with Yuuri Katsuki and another man Chris didn’t recognize.

“Yuuri Katsuki? What are you doing here, and who’s your friend?” Chris looked the other man up and down before winking. The man squealed and extended his hand. “Phichit, Phichit Chulanont, Yuuri and I are both skater and students here. I’m a big fan of yours.” His words were slurred but they managed to feel his ego all the same.

Yuuri on the other hand, seemed more sober than Phichit. “Chris! What are you doing here? Don’t tell me you’re a student here too?” 

“I’m doing a masters in Sociology while still training privately with Josef.” 

“Wow, what a small world. I’m finishing my business degree this year.”

“Indeed.” Chris flagged down the waitress carrying a tray of drinks and plucked glasses for all three of them. “What brings you both here tonight?”

“Phichit submitted the statue were standing next to and we're celebrating!" 

Chris admired the stature in front of him, “You did this chéri?”

Phichit nodded and took a swing from his glass. 

“It’s beautiful!” Chris took a quick scan of the room for Victor, but to his frustration, the man was nowhere to be found. "Do you mind if I wait here with you guys? I was supposed to meet a friend here tonight, but I don’t see him anywhere.”

"Sure, you can! Yuuri here was supposed to meet up with someone too, but we can’t find him!”

Chris looked over at Yuuri who was replacing the empty glass of champagne in his friend’s hand with his own. "What's wrong Yuuri? Don't you like champagne? I distinctly remember you enjoyed the drink at the banquet a few months back.”

Yuuri flushed, "I drank way too much that night, and I want to keep a clear head tonight."

“Oh, come on!” Chris raced over to one of the servers and took two more glasses of champagne back to the group. “We need to celebrate your friend’s accomplishment, and as I remember you’re a lot more fun when you’ve had a few of these!” 

Yuuri seemed hesitant before he reached out and took the glass. “Fine, one more glass of champagne should be fine.”

* * *

Yuuri was in that beautiful place between sleep and wakefulness when he heard someone humming and the sounds of running water. Not quite ready to wake yet, he moved, so he was on his side. He tried to get back into a comfy spot so he could fall back asleep, but it was no use.

The first thing his sleep-fogged brain registered was the smell of cologne that seem to cling to the too soft sheets. When he blinked opened his eyes, Yuuri notices he was in what looked like a studio apartment. On the far side of the room, a desk and easel were set up with a bunch of art supplies scattered around the area. On the other side was a closed door that Yuuri remembered lead to the bathroom. The bed he was in was huge allowing Yuuri to get in a deep stretch as he blinked away the last reminds of sleep. 

When the humming stopped so did sounds of the shower that woke him. The bathroom door swung open a few moments later and out walked Victor in nothing but a towel. Droplets of water clung to his chest and hair, and Yuuri felt his heart speed up.  

“Oh, you’re awake! Good morning Yuuri!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May the 4th be with you all! 
> 
> I hummed and hawed about how I wanted to end this chapter. I decided to keep the little epilogue at the end but know the next chapter will continue from the previous section. 
> 
> The shirt Yuuri buys looks something like [this](https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015-Top-Fashion-Design-Lace-Shirt-Slim-Fit-Men-s-Sexy-Dress-Shirt-Long-Sleeve-Black/2019229290.html). I kinda wanted to pay homage to their shot program costumes in this chapter so this is what I came up with. 
> 
> I've been so excited to write this chapter! When I came up with the concept for this story it originally started with the idea of Victor and Yuuri meeting at an art gallery. It was going to have a GPF banquet feel to it and pick up from there. Then I had the idea to make Yuuri a model and now here we are! 
> 
> Thanks again to everyone reading this story and commenting and leaving kudos! Hearing from you brightens my day!


	10. Defining Perfection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“To be a muse is to be a wonder in someone else's eyes, flaws and all.”_  
>  ― L.H. Cosway, Still Life with Strings

_“Fine, one more glass of champagne should be fine.”_

Yuuri brought the glass to his lips and scanned the room again for Victor. He’d seen him a couple of times, talking with groups of students and other faculty members, but now he was gone. Yuuri had been hoping to get Victor alone at some point, but now he was worried he missed his opportunity. The champagne was a little warm, but Yuuri took a couple of sips to appease Chris.

“So, who invited you here tonight?” Phichit asked, “I thought the event was only open to the art department and faculty.”

“My roommate did. I should probably call him and see where he is.” Chris took out his phone but looked up a moment later. “Do either of you have cell service down here?”

Yuuri took out his phone and noticed his screen was black. “I think my phones dead.”

“I told you to charge it while we were at practice.” Phichit poked Yuuri’s arm as he said each word and Yuuri ignored him. “Service sucks down here. If you want to try and call your friend, you might have to go upstairs, but if he's down here, you probably won't be able to reach him. You could try connecting to the wifi and call him that way?”

“I had a hard enough time getting down here in the first place. This building is totally confusing.” Chris scanned the room again before pocketing his phone. “He has to be around here somewhere, unless he left with his boyfriend already.”

“What about you, are you single?” Yuuri couldn't help but stare at Phichit. He knew his friend was a long-time fan of Chris' yet here he was casually attempting to flirt with his idol as if it was nothing. Yuuri wasn't sure if he should be impressed or try to drag his friend away from the situation. If the tables were turned, Yuuri would hope someone would stop him before he embarrassed himself.

Chris looked amused, “I’m happily single. What about you two?”

"I'm painfully single, but Yuuri here's bagged a _hottie_." Phichit giggled, and Yuuri had to refrain from nudging him in the gut. _That’s supposed to be a secret Phichit._

"Oh really, where is this hottie then? I'd love to meet the man that was able to snag a date with Yuuri." Chris winked and turned to Phichit. "You know I tried to flirt with your friend throughout the Grand Prix series, and he was totally oblivious."

“What?!” Yuuri thought back to the few interactions he had with Chris. The first was at Skate Canada where Chris invited him out for drinks. He declined since he had a rule about not drinking during a competition.

After the medal ceremony, Yuuri had to rush to the airport to catch his flight, so he had to decline Chris' invitation to go out after the competition was done.

Then at the final when he asked him out to dinner, Chris seemed fine when he suggested they invite all the skaters out for a friendly meal.

"Oh no chéri, I only agreed to go out to dinner with the others because I didn't have the heart to tell you otherwise. You seemed so excited to go out with everyone, so I played along.”

Phichit began to laugh, and Yuuri felt his cheeks heat. “You should have said something!”

Chris raised an eyebrow, “Would that have made a difference?”

"Probably not," Phichit spoke for him. Yuuri couldn’t believe they were having this conversation.  

“It’s fine Yuuri, don’t look so upset. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.” Chris scanned the room again, “I shouldn’t intrude on your night much longer. I should probably try and find my friend.”

“You don’t have to!” Phichit stepped in front of Chris as if to block his path, “Hangout with us until you find your friend!”

* * *

Victor finally found a moment to slip away to call Nadine. He had been so busy with setting up the gallery he didn’t have time to go home and feedMakkachin.

“Hello?”

"Hi Nadine, it's Victor. Sorry to call so late!"

"It's fine; you know you can call at any time. Did you guys need to schedule another early cleaning?”

“No, it’s Makkachin. I won't be home for a few more hours, and I was wondering if you could stop by and feed him for me if you’re home?”

“Sorry Victor, I would, but I’m at my sisters in Toledo for the weekend.”

“Oh okay, sorry to bother you!”

“It’s no bother! Have a good night!”

Victor hung up the phone and contemplated what to do. If he went back inside, he'd only be bombarded again, and it would be difficult to slip away. But he hadn't seen Yuuri yet, and that was the whole reason he was here in the first place. Sure, he may have helped set up the event, but he was so tired, and he really just wanted to go to bed.

He tried to call Chris, but it went straight to voicemail which meant he was probably downstairs already. Not seeing another option, Victor decided to send a text to Chris and Yuuri explaining that he had to go home, and he'd try to make it back before the gallery closed.

* * *

As the night carried on, there was still no sign of Victor. Yuuri tried to hide his disappointment by pretending to admire the rest of the gallery and by enjoying free drinks with Chris and Phichit but it wasn't working.

Eventually, many of the guests began to trickle out or petered off to the tables to sit and chat. The three skaters were occupying the table closet to Phichit's statue, but Yuuri was only half listening to the conversation.

“So Yuuri, tell me about this man of yours.”

“There’s not much to tell really.” This was the fourth time Chris brought up the subject, and Yuuri was running out of ways to avoid his questions. 

“Is he American? Tall? Details Yuuri!”

Sighing, Yuuri tried to think of a way to describe Victor. There was no way Chris knew Victor, but he was a popular professor, and he didn't want to take any chances. "He's nice."

Chris snorted, “The colour red is nice. Your boyfriend should be more than nice.”

“He’s European.” Phichit offered. "Not too tall, but taller than Yuuri I think. Am I right?"

Yuuri glared at Phichit but kept his mouth shut. 

“Okay, that’s a start. What else?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say. We're still getting to know each other, and everything's really new still, but I think it could work out you know?" Yuuri was never good at expressing his feelings, let alone voicing them. He didn’t know why he was humoring Chris, so he blamed the alcohol.

“And he’s hot. Like really hot.” Phichit laughed, and Yuuri refrained from rolling his eyes. 

“He sounds perfect.”

“No one’s perfect.” The response was a reflex. Yuuri strived for perfection all his life, and his therapist insisted he repeats the words every time his mind picked apart his shortcomings.

“My roommate would disagree. He totally thinks he found the perfect man.”

Phichit shrugged, “I like to think there’s a perfect person out there for everyone. Not _perfect_ , but perfect for them.”

“Well if that’s true I haven’t found Mr. Perfect yet.” Chris took another sip from his glass, draining the contents.

Yuuri stared at his empty glass. "I think it's time for a refill, don't you think?" Standing, Yuuri could feel the buzz of alcohol thrumming through his body. “On second thought, maybe we should switch to water.”

* * *

The last hour had been a total disaster. When he got home, it was Chris' cat Gigi that met him at the door instead of Makkachin. Victor could hear her meows from the driveway, making him run the rest of the way to the door. When he got inside, the Persian looked up at him expectantly before running down the hall, only stopping halfway to look back at Victor as if to say, ‘follow me.' When he got into the kitchen, Gigi was sitting next to her automatic feeder expectantly, and Makkachin was asleep on the tile floor.

After a few more steps into the kitchen, Victor could smell something was off. Not only had Makkachin peed in the house, but it seemed like he ate the one thing that made him sick without fail, Gigi’s cat food.

Immediately, Victor went to dispense more food from the feeder for Gigi, and she happily began to mow down on dinner, only further proving Victors hypothesis. Chris' cat was very particular about her food and ate religiously at the same time every day. She was on a schedule, and she would refuse to eat any earlier. Victor had to make sure to feed Makka before Gigi's scheduled feeding or else he'd beat her to it. 

After cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, Victor checked on Makkachain to see that he was fine but obviously unwell from eating the cat food. He tried to get the poodle to drink some water and to feed her his dinner, but Makka refused to move from her spot in the kitchen. Victor felt awful, and there was no way he was going to leave Makkachin unwell.

Again, Victor took out his phone to text Chris and Yuuri. His text to Yuuri was short saying the Makka was sick and he wouldn’t be able to make it back to the gallery but to call him or text him when he got home. The text to Chris was similar but in more detail about what happened and asked when he planned to come home.

* * *

When they announced last call, Chris invited them back to his house to continue the celebration.

“We probably should head home, don’t you think Phichit?” All Yuuri wanted to do was find a charger and get in touch with Victor. Something must have happened to make him leave the party early, and Yuuri really wanted to see him before they left for Japan. He’d only stayed this long for Phichit’s sake.

Phichit eyes went wide, “Come on Yuuri! It’s not that late.” Yuuri could tell Phichit was slowly starting to sober up, and any excuse to continue the party would be appealing to his friend. Tonight, they happened to run into Chris, and he knew Phichit wouldn't miss an opportunity to hang out with one of his skating idols. 

“If you’re a pet person I have an adorable persian and poodle at home that loves cuddles. Plus, I have a fully stocked bar and a killer entertainment system in the basement.” Chris offered suggestively. 

“Please!” Phichit looked like he’d be crushed if Yuuri declined.

“Fine, but can I borrow a charger?" There was still all-day Saturday for Yuuri to see Victor, and the sooner he got his phone charged, the sooner he could try to make plans.

“Still trying to get in touch with your boyfriend?” Chris asked as they stood to leave.

“Um he’s not really my boyfriend, we’ve just been on one date.”

“That’s not true!” Phichit handed his coat check ticket to the hostess at the exit. "You have lunch with him like all the time, and he's asked you out a few other times, but you’ve been too busy.”

"Sounds like he really likes you." Chris winked and put on his jacket.

“We haven’t even kissed yet!” Yuuri quickly covered his mouth and wished he could take back his words.

Chris laughed, “Don’t you sound smitten kitten. Maybe you need to make the first move then.”

"We were trying to get Yuuri laid tonight, but that didn't really work out."

“Phichit!”

“Speaking of getting laid, I should probably check in with my roommate before we head over.” Chris took out his phone as they made their way down the hall towards the stairwell. As they got halfway up the staircase Chris phone buzzed and he stopped to read the messages that popped up on his screen. “Damn, do you guys mind calling a cab while I make a quick call?

Yuuri asked, “Is everything okay?”

“Of course, just give me a minute.”

* * *

Not wanting to stray far from the kitchen, Victor got himself situated on the couch so he could keep an eye on Makkachin. Victor tried to distract himself with social media while he waited for Chris or Yuuri to get back to him but after a while, he started to get worried. 

He wasn’t worried about abandoning Chris at the gallery. If anything, Chris would find a way to make the most of it and have a great time without him.

What worried him was Yuuri hadn’t bothered to text him back.

He knew Yuuri was at the event because Victor kept trying to make his way over to him without anyone noticing. Victors plan was to wait for the excitement of the night to die down before he would be able to make his way over to Yuuri where he planned on staying for the rest of the night. When he didn't go back in to tell Yuuri he was leaving; Victor hoped he would have noticed Victor had left and gone upstairs to check his phone or tried to get in contact with him.

Victor tried not to take it personally, especially since he knew Yuuri was with Phichit, but he couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. Yuuri would be leaving for Japan soon, and he was really looking forward to spending time with him before he left.

After another thirty minutes had passed, Victor began to get anxious. He knew the event would be winding down and most of the people would be leaving soon if they hadn’t already. A sickening thought began to nag at the back of Victor's mind. All week Yuuri had seemed a little off, and Victor just assumed it was because he was busy preparing for his upcoming competition. Now he was beginning to worry Yuuri was losing interest in him, and he just didn't have the heart to admit it to Victor yet.

Before he could second-guess himself, Victor texted Chris.

 

_ME: Remember how I was going to introduce you to my mystery man?_

_Well now mystery man isn't getting back to me, and I'm worried he's mad at me for leaving without saying bye._

_Am I overreacting?_

Unable to sit any longer, Victor got up and began to pace the room. Some small part of the back of his mind told him he was overreacting and that everything was going to be fine. The other louder part of his brain was coming up with a million different reasons why Yuuri wouldn't be interested in him, and that rejection was imminent.

Every minute of waiting was torture.

He started a million text to Yuuri in an attempt to explain himself further, but he deleted them all.

Finally, when he was just about ready to throw his phone across the room, Chris' name lit up his screen.

“Chris! Did you get my text?”

"I got them," Chris was speaking in French, and it only took Victor a moment register the translation in his head.

“Why are you talking in French?” Victor responded in English hoping his friend would switch back to the language they were both most comfortable conversing with each other.

"I'm with people, and I'm pretty sure neither of them can understand me so I can speak freely without stepping away." Chris’ French was much better than Victors, but he could make the switch easy enough.

“Fine,” It had been a while since Victor spoke French, but the words tumbled out easily. “Sorry I had to leave and not come back. I didn’t want to leave Makkachin.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not calling about that, have you heard from mystery boy?”

“Not yet, so I’m assuming he’s still in the gallery. Is there still a lot of people there?”

Chris paused for a second too long making Victors' heart sink, "There's still some people there, but a lot of people have left."

Victor swore.

“Don’t fret chéri. Listen, I ran into a friend at this event, and I invited them back to our place, but if you’re not up for guests, I can call it off.”

“No, it’s fine. I just hope to hear from Yu-mystery boy soon.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive!” Victor wasn't sure if his tone was convincing enough, but Chris seemed to let it go, and they hung up.

* * *

“Are you sure it’s okay for us to come over?” Chris was all smiles when he was on the phone, but Yuuri thought it looked forced.

“Totally fine!” Chris said as he pocketed his phone. “My roommates just in a bit of a funk and I wanted to check in with him before we showed up. Guess you were right Yuuri, no one’s perfect after all.”

“Is he okay?”

"Yeah, it seems like his boyfriends giving him the cold shoulder, and he's freaking out."

“Really?” Yuuri spotted the cab Phichit called and waved trying to flag it down. “That sucks.” The faster they got to Chris’ the faster Yuuri could charge his phone.

“Honestly I’ve never seen my roommate this hung up on a guy before. I probably shouldn’t be telling you all this, but I'm kind of jealous...” Chris continued to speak, but Yuuri didn't hear the rest of it as he got into the cab. Phichit slid in beside Yuuri, and Chris sat up front.

Yuuri barely registered the address Chris gave as the car began to head towards the main road that leads out of campus. Phichit and Chris continued to talk about Chris' roommate, but Yuuri wasn't really paying attention anymore. His mind was focused on getting in touch with Victor to make sure everything was okay.

When they drove past Yuuri and Phichit’s dorm, Yuuri was tempted to ask to be dropped off, but he didn't want to sound rude.

After driving for a few more blocks, Chris instructed the driver to turn on a quiet street that Yuuri thought looked familiar. When they pulled in front of the largest house on the street, Yuuri had to rub his eyes to make sure his contacts weren't playing tricks on him.

“Um Chris, is this your house?” Yuuri asked pointing to the house next to Victors. The cab stopped in between the two houses, and there was no way Chris was Victor's roommate.

“No, this one's mine." Chris pointed to Victor's house as he took out his wallet to pay for the cab.

“Your house is huge!” Phichit’s nose was pressed up window, his breath causing the glass to fog.

Yuuri reached for the car door and yanked it open, practically falling out of the car. Chris and Phichit got out a second later both looking at Yuuri with concerned expressions. “You okay chéri? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

"This is Victor's house," Yuuri said when he found his voice meekly pointing towards the home. 

“You know Victor? Wow! Tonight’s full of surprises!” Chris began to walk up the driveway, but Phichit was rooted to the spot lost in thought. When Yuuri met Phichit's gaze, he saw the moment Phichit put two and two together.

"OH, MY, GOD!" Phichit screamed and doubled over laughing, causing Chris to turn around.

Chris looked from Yuuri to Phichit and back again. “What’s so funny.”

Phichit looked up at Yuuri and pointed towards Chris. “He doesn’t know?”

Yuuri couldn’t help but pinch himself to make sure this wasn’t some kind of nightmare.

“What do I not know?” Chris seemed totally lost, and just Yuuri wanted to disappear. This wasn’t happening.

Before Yuuri could stop him, Phichit said, "That my roommates dating yours!”

Chris looked at Yuuri with wide, shocked eyes. “ _You’re_ mystery boy?!”

“ _Mystery boy!_ ” Phichit echoed and proceeded to laugh to the point of tears.  

"Shit, Victors, going to kill me." Chris looked at the house then back at Yuuri. "Let's pretend you never heard a thing I said about him tonight, okay?”

Chris kept talking, but Yuuri wasn’t paying attention anymore. All night Chris had been talking about Victor without Yuuri realizing.

As he slowly began to piece together his conversations with Chris throughout the night, one thought kept bursting forth above all others.

_Victor thinks I’m perfect?_

* * *

After getting off the phone with Chris, Victor decided it was best for him to move with Makkachin upstairs to the loft.

The third floor of the house doubled as Victors studio and bedroom. Initially, the loft was built by the previous owners to act as a rental apartment equipped with a private entrance and washroom.

When Chris bought the house, he left the loft empty and planned to use it as an attic if he ever needed extra storage. Although Chris offered Victor one of the guest bedrooms to use as his own, Victor preferred to work where he slept in case inspiration hit in the middle of the night and the loft was perfect for both.

It took more effort than usual to get Makka to bed, but eventually Victor got the poodle rest comfortably in his room. On any other night, Victor would have been thrilled by the idea of entertaining guests since it was rare that either of them invited anyone over. Tonight, however, Victor just wanted to curl up in bed and hope that tomorrow was a brighter day.

After changing into sweats and a loose t-shirt, Victor made his way to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Staring at his reflection in the mirror, Victor was appalled at how dry his skin was. The winter weather always dried out his face, forcing him to add an extra hydrating mask to his already extensive facial regiment. He had just finished applying the blue mud mask when he heard the front door open.

Poking his head out of the bathroom Victor could see that he had, in fact, closed his door. He heard Chris call his name and muffled voices, but Victor chose to ignore them. Chris knew him well enough to know that if he wasn't there to greet their guest, it meant he wouldn't be joining them in whatever their plans were.

Victor checked his phone for the millionth time and slumped down on the bed when he saw that there were no new messages from Yuuri. With nothing else to occupy his time, Victor opened the music app on his phone and hit shuffle on his favourite 90’s playlist.

When R.E.M's Everybody Hurts began to play, Victor was sure the universe was mocking him. He wasn't sure if he should laugh or throw his phone across the room. Instead, Victor turned, so he was lying on his back and plopped his phone on his chest. He knew he was wallowing, but it wasn’t like there was anyone there to see him.

Victor was so lost in his melancholy thoughts he didn’t hear the soft knocking at first. When the knocking persisted, he assumed it was just Chris coming to check on him. He didn’t bother to open his eyes as he told Chris to come in.  The door opened and closed, but Chris still hadn't said a word.

“I’m fine Chris, don’t mind me. I may have just ruined my shot with the most amazing man I've ever met, but that doesn't mean you should be up here while you have friends over. Go, I’ll be okay. I think.” Victor was expecting Chris to laugh at his pitiful display or at least to come up with a witty comment to make him laugh. When the silence stretched on Victor tilted his head towards the door and opened one eye slowly.

The last person Victor expected to see was Yuuri nervously fiddling with his hands. Victor shot up so fast that his phone went flying and landed with a thunk somewhere on the floor.

"Yuuri! How did… why are you… um." Words. Victor brain short-circuited but his mouth still tried to speak.

“Can we talk?” Victor felt the blood drain from his upper body and his heart sink. Those three dreaded words were always bad. They often meant yelling, apologies, and groveling. Before Victor could get a word out Yuuri started rambling.

“I am so sorry! My phone died, and I wanted to find you or text you, but I couldn’t, and then we ran into Chris and Phichit loves Chris. Not love love but like loves his skating like a lot. We have posters in our dorm of him, and I couldn't find you, and I knew I should have tried, but I didn’t, and Chris talked about you all night without any of us realizing he was talking about you or me and he told me not to tell you, but I just did, and he also said Makkachin was sick and that I was ignoring you, but I wasn't, I just, my phone died, and I'm sorry! 

Victor looked Yuuri up and down. His hair looked like it had been slicked back, but chunks of hair were now falling into his face. His cheeks were red and blotchy, and his eyes were glassy. Victor usually hated the colour black since it reminded him of funerals, but the tight dress pants and lace sleeved top outlined Yuuri's curves wonderfully. There was too much space between them. Relief and joy and a million other emotions ran through Victor all at once as he closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Yuuri’s.

Somewhere in the room, his phone was playing Wonderwall as Yuuri wrapped his arms around Victor's neck and pulled him closer.

Victor had thought about kissing Yuuri a thousand times. He wanted their first kiss to be soft and sweet and memorable after a romantic date. Not desperate and sloppy in his mess of a bedroom while he had a mud mask on. _Shit the mask!_

Reluctantly Victor pulled away ready to apologize for getting flecks of the blue mud on Yuuri’s chin and upper lip. Before he could open his mouth to speak Yuuri’s eyes fluttered open sparkling with mirth, and again the words got stuck in his throat. Yuuri stood on his tiptoes to reach Victor's lips again. The kiss was soft, but firm and Victor felt his limbs go limp as he leaned into the kiss. The stress of the past few hours drained away and was replaced with nothing but complete and total bliss.

* * *

Yuuri was in heaven, floating on a cloud.

He was tempted to pinch himself to make sure this wasn’t a dream for the umpteenth time that night, but he couldn’t bother to detangle his fingers from around Victor's neck. When they finally broke from the most passionate kiss of his life, Yuuri couldn't help himself when he reached up for more.

Kissing Victor felt _right,_ as if his lips were made for his. Yuuri took a step closer and felt Victor's arms wrap around his hips as he pulled them closer together. Not wanting to be left out, Makkachin attempted to wiggle his way between the two of them forcing them to take a step back or trip. Victor scolded his pooch for the intrusion, but Yuuri couldn't help but laugh.

“What’s on your face?” Victor’s expression made Yuuri laugh even harder.

“Um," Victor's fingers brushed his chin and lips. As blue flecks fell to the floor Yuuri giggled.  "Just give me a second to wash this stuff off. Sit or uh stand here?” Yuuri bit his lip to prevent another laugh from escaping his lips and nodded. Victor grabbed his phone from the floor, turned off the music, and closed the door to the bathroom.

The room was huge. The only places to sit in Victors bedroom was on the bed, on the leather couch that looked similar to the bench in the studio, or the desk chair. Since it looked like the least suggestive options, Yuuri made his way over to Victor's desk. The oak table was littered with scraps of paper, brushes, and charcoal. Unable to stop himself, Yuuri sifted through the sketches and was delighted to find most of them resembled him.

It never ceased to amaze Yuuri of how talented Victor was. He assumed Victor had sketched these from scratch since he never posed in any of the positions the Yuuri in the drawings were sporting. Yuuri wasn't sure how Victor was able to work at the desk with so many papers littering the surface, but he did his best not to disturb the positioning of the sketches. He almost succeeded until he found a drawing of a woman that looked a lot like the woman from Victor’s paintings. Curiosity getting the better of him, Yuuri slipped the paper from the mess and examined it closely.

This sketch was done with so much more detail than the rest on the desk and Yuuri couldn’t help the pang of jealousy that ran through him. When Victor emerged from the bathroom he was wearing the most dazzling heart shape smile, Yuuri had to remind himself to breathe.

“Sorry, if I would have known you were coming I would have made myself more presentable." Victors glance focused on the paper in Yuuri's hand, and he froze. "Oh my god, please don't look at those! I swear I'm not some obsessive freak! You've just inspired me lately, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t sketch you right without having you here!”

“I told you, you can sketch me whenever you want. I love that I inspire you.” For the first time, Yuuri was thankful for the alcohol coursing through his veins. He felt relaxed and unashamed to speak his mind. 

“Which one do you got there.” Victor pointed to the paper in Yuuri’s hand. “If you like it you can keep it.”

Yuuri stood and hid the paper behind his back, “No, it's okay.”

Victor took a step forward, and Yuuri took one back. "What's wrong? If you're worried you've upset me, trust me, you haven't."

“It’s not that,” Yuuri felt his cheeks heat. “Who is this?”

Yuuri showed Victor the sketch and watched the smile disappear from his lips as he looked at the woman on the page. Victor reached out his hand for the paper, and Yuuri handed it to him. The silence stretched until it got uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry, I should…”

"No, it's fine." Victor tore his gaze from the paper and met Yuuri's eyes with a sad smile. Taking a couple of steps back Victor sat down on the edge of his bed, and Yuuri sat back down on the desk chair. "When I was fifteen I was in a car accident that killed my parents and sister. Vera and I were twins, and she died in my arms.”

Yuuri was stunned. "That's awful; I'm so sorry Victor."

Victor continued to speak as if he hadn’t heard Yuuri, “People kept telling me that time heals all wounds, but Vera, Vera was everything to me. She annoyed me like no other, but she was my other half. We did everything together and when she died the world became dull. She shined so brightly and when she left me…”

Yuuri stood and made his way to the bed. He sat next to Victor, reached for his hand, and squeezed. “When she left me, a part of me died along with her. It took me a while to sketch her again but when I did it was if she was alive with me again. Memorializing her on paper became an escape and inspired some of my best work.”

“When I was researching for my Ph.D. my focus was on artists who used their grief over a deceased loved one to fuel some of the most famous creations to date. It was all very morbid and when I graduated I swore, for my own sanity I’d find my inspiration elsewhere.” Victor took a deep breath and rested his head on Yuuri shoulder. “Sorry, when I pictured having you in my room I never imagined this.” Victors laugh was watery, making Yuuri grip his hand tighter.

“Don’t apologize, I’m sorry for forcing you to talk about it.”

Victor raised his head, blue eyes blazing. “I want to talk to you about this. For a while now actually, but it’s not really something you just bring up casually. I really like you Yuuri, and if this is to go anywhere, you should know that I come with a lot of baggage. Usually, I try to be all smiles and light-hearted but usually when people get to really know me they, well, I can be a lot to handle sometimes."

“Everyone has something they carry with them. I just want you to be you.” Yuuri couldn’t fathom why anyone would think Victor was too much. The more he got to know this man the more his heart grew with warmth and affection. He wanted more, everything Victor had to offer, and he wanted to return it all in spades.

Were things progressing too fast? Maybe. But right now, Yuuri didn’t care.

Victor opened his mouth as if to speak and closed it again. After repeating this a few times, Yuuri leaned in to kiss Victors' forehead. "It’s late. I should probably head home." 

“Please stay.” Victor looked so vulnerable, and it tore at his heart. "I can sleep on the couch, or you're welcome to one of the guest rooms but please, if you can, just stay."

Yuuri nodded with a small grin. “Have any PJs?”

Victors responding smile was bright and beautiful. "The second drawer, help yourself," He pointed to the dresser beside the bed and Yuuri stood to do just that. “There’s extra toothbrushes in the top drawer in the bathroom too if you want. Feel free to use anything in there. The towels are clean too to so if you want to shower feel free too.”

Yuuri made his way into the bathroom to change. There was, in fact, a drawer full of unused toothbrushes and Yuuri quickly brushed his teeth and removed his contacts. Since he had planned to possibly not make it home that night, Yuuri had his contact travel kit in his back pocket.

When he made his way into the now dark bedroom, Victor was already under the covers. Without saying a word, Yuuri pulled back the sheets and got into bed.

“Is this okay?” Victor asked as Yuuri cuddled into the warm comforter.

Yuuri grabbed his hand placing a soft kiss to his knuckles, “Its perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you expecting a wild, sexy night, sorry... If you are waiting for smut though, hang on a bit longer!
> 
> The songs referenced in this chapter were [Everybody Hurts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rOiW_xY-kc) by R.E.M. and [Wonderwall](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hzrDeceEKc) by Oasis. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought by leaving a comment or come say hi on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dedicca). :)


	11. Good Morning, Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _“I'm choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. I'm making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises.”_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

It was cold.

Victor really didn’t want to wake from the most peaceful sleep he’d had in weeks, but he was shivering.

He felt around for the covers but was met by a warm body instead. Eyes flying open, Victor saw Yuuri all wrapped up in the sheets like a burrito. The sight was adorable, but if he were to pull on the comforter to warm himself, it would for sure disturb his sleeping beauty. With a sigh, Victor got up and stretched.

The night before went from being a total disaster to the best surprise he could have ever imagined, and Victor loved surprises. He tried to rub some warmth into his arms, but the rest of his body was still freezing. Scanning the room, Victor realized he left the window by his desk open a crack. Ever so carefully Victor tiptoed over to the window and slid the glass closed as quietly as he could.

At the noise, Makkachin shifted in his sleep, and at the same moment Yuuri did too, making Victor want to cuddle them both. Wanting the two most precious beings in his life to continue sleeping blissfully, Victor made his way into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The hot water made the cold room steam quickly, and Victor felt himself relax. 

What started off as a way to warm his freezing limbs quickly turned into a shower out of desire instead of need. The warm water felt lovely on his skin and Victor couldn’t remember the last time he felt so happy and refreshed in the morning. Without realizing it, Victor began to hum to no song in particular as he washed his hair. He couldn’t believe Yuuri was asleep in his bed and that they had kissed! The memory of Yuuri reaching up to pull him back down for a kiss sent tingles over his skin that had nothing to do with the hot water beading down on him.  

When he asked him to stay, he was worried he might have overstepped a boundary. Things were still so new between them that Victor was afraid he'd do something wrong and it would all be over before it really started. Usually talking about Vera so close to bed brought on the nightmare that had tormented him for years. The plead for Yuuri to stay left his lips before he had the chance to think it over in his head. For the second time that night, Yuuri surprised him by not only agreeing to stay but asking to borrow his clothes!

Victor wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve someone as wonderful as Yuuri in his life, but he wanted to make sure he did everything in his power to return every ounce of the happiness Yuuri had shown him in the last few weeks. 

When Yuuri woke, he planned to ask him what he wanted for breakfast and to ask if they could spend the day together. He knew Yuuri had to leave for Japan in less than 24 hours, but if he had the time, Victor really wanted to spend the day with him. The thought of not seeing him for an entire week stopped his humming and made him want to jump out of the shower so he could not waste a moment of their time together, even if for the time being Yuuri was just asleep. 

Grabbing a towel, so he didn't trail a puddle of water into the bedroom, Victor dried off quickly and opened the bathroom door. 

To his surprise, Yuuri blinked up at him sleepily. “Oh, you’re awake! Good morning Yuuri!”

* * *

Yuuri vaguely remembered Phichit comparing Victor to being better looking than Michelangelo’s David.

The statue was the Renaissance symbol of strength and beauty. Yuuri only knew this because every time Phichit found a guy to lust over he usually made the comparison, making Yuuri curious who this David fellow was. It turns out David was a good-looking guy from the 1500s, but he had nothing on Victor. Nothing. Even without his glasses on Yuuri could appreciate a wet Victor with only a towel on.

“Good morning,” His voice was still thick with sleep and maybe a touch of desire. “What time is it?” Yuuri questioned looking around the room for an alarm clock to tell the time. It was still dark outside which meant it had to be really early. Too early for him at least.

Victor reached for his phone on the dresser, “It’s just after six!” His smile was blinding. How this man could look this good and sound so happy at this hour was an enigma to Yuuri.

Groaning, Yuuri pulled the covers back over his head praying for sleep to claim him once more. "Come on Yuuri! Didn't you say you had to be up early tomorrow anyway? Consider this practice!"

Suddenly the covers were pulled away, and Victor's beautiful face was only inches from his. If he wanted too, Yuuri could kiss him he was so close. Victor seems to have the same thought as he moved to close the distance between them. Just as their lips were about to meet Yuuri remembered something. It was morning, which meant he had morning breath, and there was no way he was kissing Victor before he brushed his teeth.

Covering his mouth, Yuuri rolled out of the way and struggled to untangle himself from the covers. Victor looked confused and a little hurt but laughed as Yuuri stumbled and fell out of the bed. “You okay?” 

Yuuri shot up, “I’m fine! I just um need to use the bathroom.”

Victor nodded and watched as Yuuri made his way to the bathroom. Closing the door, Yuuri realized everything was still blurry. He could get ready without his contacts, but this was the first morning he was spending with Victor, and he wanted to make sure he looked okay. Taking a calming breath Yuuri opened the door, “Sorry, I forgot my con…”. The towel which was once wrapped around Victor’s waste was gone, leaving a completely naked Victor standing in front of the dresser. The same dresser which Yuuri left his contacts case. Victor looked back at him seeming oblivious to effect of his nakedness. “What did you forget?”

Yuuri blinked a few times before he pointed at the contact case. Victor followed his finger and picked up the case. “This?” Yuuri nodded, and Victor tossed him the case with a grin. He managed to grab the case and squeak out a thanks before he slammed the bathroom door. He could hear Victor chuckling on the other side of the door, and it took him longer than he would have liked to calm down. 

Yup, David had nothing on Victor.

* * *

Seeing a flustered Yuuri was almost as cute as sleeping Yuuri. Victor loved to discover all the different ways this man made his heart flutter.

Standing in front of his dresser Victor took out a pair of boxers and contemplated what else to put on. Although he didn’t mind walking around the house in nothing but boxers, he wanted to make Yuuri comfortable. 

The question was what to wear. He didn’t want to dress too casually to make Yuuri think he didn’t care about his appearance, but at the same time, he didn’t want to seem like he was trying too hard. Deciding on a deep blue sweater and jeans Victor dressed fast since he wasn’t sure how long Yuuri would be in the bathroom.

“Victor? Mind if I take a shower?” Yuuri yelled through the door.

“Of course not! I’ll head down and start on breakfast. Are pancakes okay?” 

“Sure!” 

Just before Victor left, he remembered all Yuuri had to wear was the dress clothes from the night before. "Hey Yuuri, feel free to any clothes in the closet or my dresser!"

The sound of the shower started, “Are you sure?”

“Yes please!” Victor loved to see Yuuri in his clothes. He couldn't precisely determine why, but it was hot. Yuuri muttered a thanks, and Makkachin followed him as he left to go to the kitchen. Victor was glad to see his poodle doing better than the night before. After giving Makka his breakfast, which he thankfully ate, Victor started on breakfast.

Pancakes from scratch were Victor's specialty. His dad used to make them on Sunday mornings and taught Victor his recipe when he was eight. Dimitri Plisetsky met his mother when the twins were five. At first, Victor hated him since his mother insisted on having him around on her days off. Their mother worked so hard and only ever had Sundays to themselves. 

The first Sunday Victor awoke to Dimitri in the kitchen he had a steaming plate of pancakes for the twins. Vera was thrilled to eat the syrupy treat, but Victor refused and requesting his mother make him toast. Dimitri went to law school in America and insisted that pancakes were the best breakfast treat the states had to offer.

It took a few Sundays for Victor to try the pancakes, but he remembered that when he agreed and took the first bite, Dimitri's face lit up and his mother was incredibly happy. Looking back, Victor could see why. In the early days of their relationship, Dimitri always tried to get along with the twins. Vera accepted him much faster than Victor did, asking if he could be their dad only after a few months. Dimitri was thrilled but never pushed Victor to accept him. 

The first time Victor referred to Dimitri as dad was an accident.

It was the twins seventh birthday, and Dimitri had arranged for all of them to go on a ski trip to Switzerland. Both Vera and Victor had never skied before, but Dimitri was extremely patient with them. Their mother refused to ski, preferring to stay in the chalet and read but the twins were ecstatic. Dimitri skied all his life and insisted on teaching the twins himself instead of putting them in lessons.

After a few hours, Victor claimed he was ready to try the green hill by himself. Although Dimitri followed close behind, Victor messed up and bottle-nosed down the mountain. His skis filled with snow causing them to fall off. Victor remembered being terrified, thinking he was going to fall all the way down the hill. Instead of screaming for Dimitri, he screamed dad. He tumbled a few feet before his dad caught up and helped him up. After checking to see if he was okay, his dad held him close, and Victor clung back. 

The memory, although terrifying at the time, was now precious. Even though Dimitri wasn’t his biological father, he was the best dad Victor could have ever asked for.

Before proposing to their mother, Dimitri sat the twins down and asked for their blessing. Vera was thrilled and agreed instantly. Victor was eight and only accepted if Dimitri taught him how to make his pancakes. At the time, he thought it was a brilliant trade making Victor chuckle at his younger self.

It had been a few years since Victor made his dads recipe, but he was able to make the batter from memory no problem. As the pan heated, Victor took out his phone to put on some music. The 90s playlist from the night before was still up, but Victor wanted something better fitting his mood. After searching through a few playlists, he found one titled ‘Best Morning Ever' and hit shuffle. When banana pancakes began to play, Victor chuckled and went back to making breakfast.

* * *

Victor’s shower was terrific.

The pressure was amazing, and the water was the perfect temperature. There were so many different bottles of products on the shelf that it took Yuuri a few moments to figure out which was the shampoo. When he found the right one and opened the bottle, he took a sniff.

The bottle looked expensive, and shampoo smelled of the cologne Yuuri thought Victor wore all the time. As he massaged the shampoo into his hair, Yuuri closed his eyes and enjoyed sent that reminded him of Victor. The body wash had the same alluring scent making Yuuri grin.

When he stepped out of the shower a big white fluffy towel awaited him on the rack. Yuuri wrapped it around himself in an attempt to keep in the warmth from the shower. The toothbrush he used the night before was still in the cup next to Victor’s making Yuuri smile wider. Aside from it being way too early for Yuuri’s liking, waking up at Victor’s was more than Yuuri could have ever imagined. It was very domestic but exciting all the same.

After brushing his teeth, Yuuri walked out of the bathroom and was thankful that Victor left to give him some privacy. Yuuri opened the first draw of Victors dresser to find folded socks on one side and underwear on the other. His own sock drawer back at the dorm was a mess. Every morning Yuuri had to spend a few minutes to find matching socks not willing to put in the time to actually fold them. It was a little weird to borrow boxers from Victor, but after his shower, he really didn't want to put his own back on. Before he could chicken out, Yuuri grabbed a pair of briefs and put them on. They were a little tight for Yuuri’s liking but not enough that he worried he’d rip the thin fabric.

Opening the second drawer, Yuuri dug through the options careful not to mess up the neatly folded clothes. At the bottom of the drawer, Yuuri found a pair of sweatpants that looked like they'd never been worn and a plain white shirt. Yuuri didn't want to take anything that Victor would miss especially since he wouldn't be able to wash and return them before he left for Japan.

Bringing the clothes into the bathroom, Yuuri changed and checked over his reflection in the mirror that was still a bit foggy from his shower. When he was satisfied with his appearance, Yuuri made his way back into the bedroom and picked up his phone. He forgot to charge it last night, but he noticed Victor had a charger plugged into the wall next to the bed. Plugging his phone in Yuuri waited for his phone to get enough juice so he could turn it on. 

He hadn’t talked to Phichit since he left him with Chris and he wanted to make sure his friend was okay. When the screen turned on Yuuri checked his texts. It took a moment for them to load but when they did, he had a few from Phichit. The first said that Phichit and Chris had planned to watch a movie and if they wanted to join them to meet them in the basement. The second mentioned that Phichit was going to spend the night in one of the guest bedrooms and to wake him when Yuuri got up. Unsure where the guest bedrooms were Yuuri decided to reply to Phichit’s text saying he’d be in the kitchen when Phichit woke up and that he was leaving his phone in Victors room to charge.

As Yuuri walked down the stair and made his way towards the kitchen the smell of bacon overwhelmed him. Entering the kitchen, Yuuri saw that Victor had two pans going on the stove. One full of sizzling bacon and the other had the pancakes. Both looked mouthwatering, and his stomach grumbled.

Victor looked up from the stove and smiled, “Did you have a good shower?” 

"Excellent, thanks. So much better than the showers back at the dorms. Can I help?” They had a great time cooking together on their date the week before that Yuuri was anxious to try it again.

“Breakfast is almost done, but you can set the table if you want.” Victor pointed to the kitchen table with his hand holding the spatula. Yuuri agreed, and Victor pointed out where to find everything as he flipped the pancakes.

After the table was set, Yuuri took a seat and watched as Victor turned off the stove. “I got a text from Phichit,” Yuuri said as Victor plated the food. “He said he was spending the night here too, but I think it’s too early to wake him.” 

“Probably,” Victor placed a tray full of food on the table. Along with the pancakes and bacon, there were berries and a bowl of whipped cream. "I wasn't sure how you liked your pancakes, so I got a bit of everything."

Victor walked over to the fridge and took out a bottle of maple syrup and butter. Yuuri eyed the food hungrily but waited for Victor to come back before he dared put any on his plate. “Am I forgetting anything?” Victor asked more to himself than to Yuuri as he scanned the table. 

“Coffee!” Victor shouted as he made his way back towards the counter then froze. “Wait, you don’t like coffee.” He turned to face Yuuri. “What do you drink in the morning?”

“Juice or water is fine.” Really, Yuuri usually liked tea in the morning but he didn’t want to trouble Victor with making it for him.

“Is orange juice okay? It’s all I have at the moment.”

“Perfect!” Victor returned to the table, the carton of juice in hand and took a seat.

After pouring them each a glass, Victor looked up at him. "Are you not hungry?"

Yuuri blushed, “I was waiting for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that! Here!”

Victor pushed the tray closer to Yuuri’s plate, and Yuuri pushed it back. "You did all the work; you should go first." 

“You’re my guest, really you should.” The tray was shoved back towards Yuuri. 

Just as he was about to insist Victor go first, Chris entered the kitchen, “Mm something smells amazing!” Chris approached the table and swiped a piece of bacon. “Gosh, that's good. I haven't had bacon in forever! I’m going to grab myself a plate!”

Yuuri and Victor exchanged glances before bursting out into laughter. “What’s so funny?” Chis asked, taking a seat at the table. 

“Nothing.” They both replied at the same time, piling food onto their plates. 

Phichit arrived a few moments later looking like death. He was in the same clothes from the night before and judging from the scowl on his face he was nursing a hangover. “I smelt food.”

“Moring chéri! Victor made his famous pancakes. You’ve got to try them!” Chris stood to grab a plate and cutlery for Phichit as his friend took a seat in the chair across from Chris. 

“Why are they famous?” Yuuri asked as he put butter onto of his pancakes.

Chris returned, and Phichit wasted no time pilling food onto his plate. "Take a bite, and you'll see. Victor must be trying really had to impress you if he made pancakes after only your first night here.” Victor slapped Chris in the arm, and Phichit laughed.

After pouring syrup on the pancakes, Yuuri cut into the pancakes and lifted his fork to take a bite. Victor watched closely as Yuuri chewed. The pancakes were so light and fluffy they practically melted in his mouth. Yuuri didn’t even try to hide his satisfied groan, playing up his reaction a bit just to see Victor smile. He wasn’t disappointed as Victor practically beamed happiness before turning to face Phichit. “I’m Victor by the way. Yuuri talks about you all the time.”

“All good things I hope.” Phichit turned to Yuuri and winked. 

“So, I was the only one in the dark this entire time?” Chris pouted crossing his arms over his chest like a child.   

Phichit turned to Chris, “I had an advantage. I'm an art major, so I knew Victor as a prof before Yuuri and him ever met. I take full credit for pushing him to go for the interview by the way. You two may have never met if it wasn't for me!”

“You didn’t want to come to the interview?” Victor looked offended, and Yuuri had to gulp down a mouthful of pancake before answering.  

“I didn’t really know what the job was for. Phichit was the one that assumed it was for modeling and I didn’t think you’d want to hire me.” Although the interview was only a few weeks ago, it was crazy to see how much has changed since then. If someone would have told him not even two weeks ago that he’d be sitting at Victor’s kitchen table with his famous figure skating roommate and Phichit, he’d think they were making some cruel joke. 

"If I would have known you'd be such a temptation I may not have hired you." Victor winked before taking a berry, dipping it into the whipped cream, and eating it.

“How is that going for you? Having a room full of students ogling your naked boyfriend must be awful for you.”

“I think the students are pretty professional,” Yuuri offered. “I mean they just sketch me like they’re supposed to and leave after.”

“Chris it's awful." Victor sighed dramatically slumping in his chair. “Half the time I just want to kick everyone out, so I can sketch him myself and the other half I’m fighting not to just stare at him.

Phichit turned to Yuuri giving him a wicked grin. He had to restrain himself from kicking his roommate under the table.

“Damn what I wouldn’t do to sit in one of those classes. I’ve seen you in your costumes Yuuri, and I would love to see what’s underneath.” Victor did kick Chris causing the table to shake. Yuuri felt his cheeks heat while Chris and Phichit laughed.

“He’s teasing Yuuri, aren’t you Christophe.”

Victor glared at his roommate making it clear that Chris had to agree. “Sure Victor, whatever you say.”

* * *

The rest of breakfast continued without much more excitement.

When they were done eating Chris and Phichit offered to clean up while Yuuri and Victor took Makkachin on a walk. It snowed again overnight forcing Yuuri to borrow a pair of Victor's boots instead of wearing his dress shoes. Yuuri was thrilled when Victor handed him the leash allowing Yuuri to walk the poodle.

"I really want to hold your hand, but there's a lot of professors that live in this area that I know enjoy a morning jog," Victor whispered even though they were the only ones on the street. 

“Even in the snow?” Only a few inches had fallen, but the sidewalks were still mostly covered and slippery.

Victor nodded, “You sure you’re okay with us? Our roommates know we’re together now but no one else can know until the semesters over.” 

“I don’t really have anyone else to tell here. Most of the people I care about live in Japan.” 

Victor stopped walking making Yuuri stop too, “Does that mean at the end of the semester you’ll be headed back home?”

"I'm not sure yet. I will eventually, but if I want to continue to pursue skating, I'll go wherever my coach is. Right now, I'm more focused on finishing my degree and doing better this season, so I have more options.”

Thinking about his future past that year always made him queasy. Celestino was great, but he knew if he wanted to go farther he’d probably have to find another coach. He could always stay in Detroit for another year, but he felt like that was another year wasted. However, moving to another country again alone for skating was terrifying. So, for now, Yuuri focused on his current year rather than worrying about the next. There was still plenty of time to make a decision and to figure out his options.

“Figure skating is pretty big in Russia, ever think of moving there?” 

“Gosh no, I’m not good enough. You have to be the best or Russian to train there.” They were only a few houses away from Victor’s. The wind was cold, and Yuuri really wanted to get back inside, but Victor held him back by grabbing his arm. “What’s wrong?”

Victor looked like he had something important to say but every time he opened his mouth nothing came out. Makkachin barked pulling on the leash. He too seemed impatient to get back inside. After a pause Victor shook his head as if to clear it, “It’s nothing, let’s get back inside.”

When they opened the front door, Phichit greeted them already putting on his shoes. "Good, you're back! We still have to pack for our trip, so we should probably get going. Chris offered to drive us whenever we’re ready.” Chris stood right behind him and flashed his keys.  

“It’s still pretty early Phichit. We have time." Yuuri wasn’t ready to leave yet. He wanted to spend more time with Victor before they left for a week.

“It’s fine Yuuri,” Victor leaned over to kiss his forehead. “I don’t want to keep you when you have an important competition coming up.” 

“You sure?” Yuuri wasn’t sure why but he felt weird about leaving now.

“Of course, but I’ll drive you both. My cars parked behind Chris’ anyways. Go upstairs and grab your stuff, we’ll meet you in the car.” 

Before Yuuri could say anything, Victor turned to go back outside, and Phichit followed. “You okay chéri?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Slowly Yuuri made his way to the staircase to grab his stuff. 

After he collected everything and went back downstairs Chris was there waiting with a plastic bag. “Here, so you don’t have to carry everything in your hands.”

Yuuri thanked him and dropped his stuff in the bag.

“I’ll make sure to set up the live stream, so Victor and I can watch your programs. Good luck!” Chris handed him the bag and gave Yuuri a hug. "Also," Chris whispered in his ear, "I want to say thank you. I've never seen Victor this happy, and I'm sure that has everything to do with you.”

“I really haven’t done anything. Victor’s great.” Yuuri awkwardly wrapped the hand that wasn’t holding the bag around Chris to return the hug. 

“Just keep being yourself around him. That will be enough.”

Chris walked Yuuri to the car and waved as Victor pulled out of the driveway. Phichit was on his phone in the backseat, and Victor had his eyes focused on the road, face strangely neutral. Yuuri wanted to say something to Victor before he left but he wasn’t sure what. They'd be arriving at their apartment at any moment, but everything Yuuri thought to say sounded stupid. Just as they were about to turn into the parking lot of their building Yuuri decided to keep it simple. “Thanks again for everything.” 

"Yeah, thanks for the drive home and breakfast! Your pancakes were really delicious!" The car stopped, and Phichit opened his door. “I’ll give you a few minutes alone. See you inside Yuuri!”

They were both silent for a while as Phichit exited the car and walked into the dorm. 

“Um about before," Yuuri started not really sure what he was saying. "I don't know what's going to happen in the next couple months, but I want you to know that as soon as I do, I'll let you know. Whatever happens, we'll figure it out."

Clearly, that was the right thing to say because as soon as the words were out, Victor grabbed him and kissed him within an inch of his life. The kiss was all consuming, and Yuuri struggled to keep up. When they parted, Yuuri was a little dazed and had to steady himself by gripping the armrest. Seeing his face, Victor leaned back in for a soft, chaste kiss between his eyebrows. “Thank you, Yuuri. I’d really appreciate that. Have fun in Japan and good luck with the competition.”

Even though the heat was on in the car, Yuuri could still see Victor's breath as he spoke. “Thanks, enjoy your week off.”

"I have midterms to mark, and you'll be on the other side of the world. This week will suck.” Victors smile was flirtatious making Yuuri want to reach over again to kiss him again.

“I can facetime you if you want? I know it’s not the same, but at least you'll get to see me.”

“I look forward to it.” 

Yuuri smiled and opened the door, “See you in a week.” Victor nodded as Yuuri closed the door and began walking towards the lobby doors. 

He was halfway up the walk when he turned around and ran back to the car. Victor rolled down his window and asked if Yuuri forgot something. Instead of answering, when Yuuri got to the window, he grabbed the lapels of Victor's jacket and pulled him in for another kiss. When he pulled away, Yuuri was pleased to see the bemused look on Victors face. Yuuri was still holding on to his jacket as he pressed their foreheads together. "I want you to see my programs. Promise that you'll watch me, Victor."

Victor visibly flinched. Before Yuuri could question it though Victor pressed their lips together again quickly, “I promise lyubov moya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyubov moya = my love.
> 
> It's a long weekend in Canada so in my mind this chapter isn't late! 
> 
> I decided at the last minute to participate in the YOI Royalty Week collection which ate up a good chunk of my time this week. If you'd like to check it out, the link can be found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14665002/chapters/33879792). 
> 
> The song reference in this chapter is Jack Johnson's, [Banana Pancakes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkyrIRyrRdY). This song holds a special place in my heart and I couldn't help myself from referencing it in this chapter!
> 
> Originally, this chapter was supposed to have a short few paragraphs about the morning after the gallery mixup with the bulk of it covering 4Cs. As you can see, that didn't really happen which means the chapter count may increase by the end. 
> 
> Am I upset? No... Here's almost 5000 words of fluff to start your week! 
> 
> Thanks again to everyone following and commenting on this little story of mine. 
> 
> If you'd like, come say hi on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dedicca).


	12. The Light from The Stars Died with You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger Warning: This chapter contains violent and upsetting scenes. For more details see the end notes if concerned before reading. Tags have also been updated.**   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's also a few Russian terms used in the first half of this chapter, so I've included the translations here instead of at the end.
> 
> zvezda moya = my star  
> Verochka = Russian diminutive of Vera  
> kotyonok = kitten  
> malysh = baby

_“Sometimes people don’t understand the promises they’re making when they make them. But you keep the promise anyway. That’s what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway.”_  
_― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars_

  
Victor watched as Yuuri made his way inside the dorm. Under different circumstances, he would have thought it was cute that Yuuri turned at the last minute to wave, but now it made him cringe.

He wanted to make sure Yuuri was gone before he broke down.

Once upon a time, the mere mention of Vera would have senthim over the edge. Those that knew him best tended to avoid mentioning her so that they wouldn't trigger him. He still couldn’t enter a ballet studio without breaking into a sweat and sometimes certain phrases would prompt a panic attack. 

Yuuri would have had no idea that the words he just said would affect Victor in such a way. 

_Promise that you'll watch me, Victor._  

Memories of Vera flooded him as he sunk deeper into himself. Both precious and traumatic.

 

**_Saint Petersburg – Winter 1995_ **

_“Vitya! Vitya, watch me!" Vera's sing-song voice rang out as she twirled around the dimly lit living room._

_"Take off those pointe shoes before Mama gets home and sees you," Victor said, not bothering to look up from his sketchbook. He didn't need to look at his sister to sketch her dancing. He knew every pose and every angle that was Vera._

_“Stop drawing and watch me, Vitya! You promised!”_

_It was always like this between them. When they weren’t at school or in the studio with their mother, Victor sketched Vera while she danced. That was just the way things were in the Nikiforov household. They didn’t have cable, but they had an old radio to fill the quiet, dingy apartment with music. Vera preferred the classical music station so she could dance until she dropped from exhaustion or hunger, whichever came first. Victor didn’t mind so long as he could sketch when he had the materials, that is. Vera was always begging Victor to watch her, or even join her, but tonight Victor had a new sketchbook and charcoal, and he was itching to fill the crisp white pages._

_“Vitya, you'll fill that book, too, if you keep up that pace. And you only just got it for our birthday! Mama won't be able to buy you another for at least a month. Make it last longer and_ watch _!" Vera whined as she tugged on Victor's sketch pad._

_"And if you keep dancing in Mama’s old shoes, you're going to get blood caked on the inside, and she's going to know you've been stealing them again. They don't even fit you properly! You're going to really hurt yourself!" He knew that Vera had stuffed the already hard pointes with cotton to fit her smaller feet. The satin was fraying, and they were worn well past their prime. But to Vera, Victor knew that they were gold to her._

_“If I take them off, will you watch me?”_

**_Saint Petersburg – Spring 1997_ **

_“You were amazing, zvezda moya!” Their mother cooed as she hugged Vera after her recital. “We’re so proud of you!”_

_"Yeah, that was great, Vera. You were the best one out there tonight! These are for you."_ _Dimitri said as he handed a beautiful bouquet of pink roses to the little ballerina. “To celebrate we should go out for ice cream, don’t you think, Calina?”_

_“I think it would have been better if Vitya danced with me, but noooo. He had to get injured and be stage director instead." Vera pouted, crossing her arms over her chest._

_Victor ignored his sister’s mocking tone and shrugged. He couldn’t fathom why she was so angry at him for not dancing the duet with her. If he hadn’t gotten injured, she wouldn’t have been able to performher first solo. "I didn't mind being stage director. Especially since I got to watch you dance from the sidelines."_

_The scowl marring Vera’s face vanished in an instant and was replaced with a thousand-kilowatt smile. “Did you really, Vitya! The whole thing?”_

_“Yup, so I totally saw every mistake you made,” Victor teased. “It really wasn’t one of your best performances, Vee. Your arabesques by mid-performance were shaky, your arches weren’t nearly accentuated enough, and that last fouetté was pitiful.” He criticized, as he emphasized each point on his fingers._

_Vera wacked her brother with her bouquet, causing a few petals to fall to the floor. “Mama! Tell Vitya he’s wrong!”_

_“Vera, don’t hit your brother. Let’s go get that ice cream before I change my mind.”_

_“But Mama!” Vera stomped her foot and went back to sulking._

 

**_Moscow_ ** **_– Summer 1997_ **

_“But I don’t want to change my last name! Vera Plisetsky just sounds so awful, Mama! Nikiforov is the perfect last name for a prima ballerina!”_

_“We’ve been over this, Verochka.”_

_“But—!"_

_“No buts! When_ _Dimitri and I get married, I will be taking his last name. And when he adopts you and your bother, so will you both."_

_“I’m with Vera, Mama! First, we had to move schools so we could live with Dimitri, then we had to move to Moscow because of Dimitri, now we have change our names, too. It isn’t fair!”_

_“What’s all the commotion in here.”_

_“Do we have to change our names? Not that you have a bad name, exactly, but I need to keep mine! My life as a famous ballerina depends on it!”_

_“How about joining our names together legally? You can be Vera_ _Nikiforov, the amazing dancer to the world, but on paper, you'll be Vera Nikiforov-_ _Plisetsky, my amazing daughter.”_

_"What do you think, Vitya?”_

_“I guess having two last names wouldn’t be so bad.”_

**_Moscow_ ** **_– Winter 1999_ **

_"Vera, I think you forgot a present." Checking behind the Christmas tree there was, in fact, one more gift hiding under a thick branch. Victor handed the gift to his sister, and Vera wasted no time tearing into the paper and opening the shoe box to reveal new pointe shoes made of red silk._

_“Thank you, Mama and Papa, this is the best birthday ever! Vitya, look, aren’t they beautiful!”_

_Victor laughed, “I picked them out, I knew you’d love them.”_

_Vera’s eyes lit up brighter than the all the Christmas lights that were strung throughout the house. “Really!?”_

_"Of course. With those, you'll be the center of attention. No one will dare take their eyes off you."_

_Vera lunged for her brother, giggling as they tumbled to the floor that was littered with boxes and wrapping paper. “I love you, Vitya! So, so much!”_

**_Moscow_ ** **_– Spring 2000_ **

_“Blow out the candles, kotyonok.” Their mother grabbed Yuri's hand as the toddler reached out to touch the burning candle._

_“Yuri, no! Use your mouth to blow. Like this.” Their father chuckled as he leaned down to help his son._

_“Yurio! Yurio!” Yuri chanted, clapping his hands together._

_“Papa, I think you tell him ‘no’ so often that he thinks his name is ‘Yuri-no’!”_

_Victor laughed, “No, Vera, he said ‘Yurio’! I think it’s cute.”_

****

**_Saint Petersburg – Winter 2003_ **

_“_ _Dimitri, maybe we should have gotten a hotel room. It’s so late and the weather’s awful.” His mother said, looking nervously out the window._

_“We’ll be fine, malysh. If you're tired, close your eyes."_

_"I'm exhausted," Victor complained as he tried to stretch. They were driving home from a competition out of town where their duet had received gold._

_“Lay down on my lap, Vitya. I don’t mind.” The backseat was cramped due to Yuri’s empty car seat. Their little brother was still too young to drag along to competitions, so he had stayed home with their grandfather._

_Victor rested his head on Vera’s thighs and tried to get comfortable._ _His mother looked to Victor, then to Dimitri, and gave a defeated sigh before reaching to change the radio station. She flipped through a few before settling on a familiar piece._

_Victor perked up slightly as the memory of their mother teaching the twins to dance filled his mind. He could almost hear his mother’s instructions as the piece played in the background of their childhood apartment. Tapping Victor on the shoulder, Vera gently jogged him out of the memory. His mother, too, was looking at them both with a knowing smile on her face and Victor felt the corners of his own mouth raise in response. He turned to look up at Vera, her face expressing his feelings precisely._

_It was the last thing Victor would remember of his sister; the look in her eyes, the feel of her fingers running through his long hair, and the sound of her soft humming as she lulled him to sleep._

_And then the humming stopped._

_Vera threw herself onto her brother and, in his confused state, he tried to sit up, but she only squeezed tighter. A cacophony filled the air; the sound of metal crunching against metal, the shattering of glass, and the pop of the airbags. When he opened his eyes, he could vaguely see their father slumped over the steering wheel, the horn blaring as blood oozed from his head. All Victor could see of their mother was her neck contorted at a horrifying angle._ _Even without checking, Victor knew in his heart that they were dead. He was about to move to confirm his suspicions when Vera spoke._ _Hot red liquid began to gush all over him, forming a gruesome pool in Vera's lap._

_“_ _Vi-tya…" Her voice was barely a whisper._

_His head was spinning, but that didn't matter._

_“Vitya," Vera repeated his name, this time with a bit more urgency. When he turned to her, he saw the deep gash on the side of her neck, and a bloody chunk of glass clutched in her hand._

_There was so much blood._

_“Vitya, I think I’m dying.” Her eyes were blown wide with shock, and her face was incredibly pale._

_"Don't say that, Vera. You'll be fine." Victor saw his scarf on the floor of the car and brought it up to apply pressure on the wound. Vera flinched._

_Slowly she began to slump forward as she lost the strength to keep herself upright. Victor reached out to catch her, cradling her body close to his._

_“Vitya, I’m too young to die.” Vera’s head titled forward to rest on his chest._

_"Stop that. You'll be fine." Victor couldn't help the tears pouring from his eyes. He desperately tried to blink them away._

_“No, I’m not, Vitya. I can feel it. Just… just hold me. I don’t want to die alone.”_

_“You’re not dying. I won’t let you.”_

_“Vitya, promise me something,” her eyes pleading with him. “Promise to live enough for the both of us, okay?”_

_"You'll be fine. You can't die." As much as he didn't want to admit it, Victor knew Vera was losing too much blood. She didn’t have much time._

_“Promise me you won’t let people forget me, okay? I can’t become a star anymore, so I need you to make me one."_

_“Vera, please.” Victor latched onto one of her hands and squeezed._

_"Promise me you'll be happy. God, please be happy, Vitya, I hate seeing you sad.”_

_“How can I promise you that? You’re everything to me, Vera…everything.”_

_She smiled a small but genuine smile. "One day, you'll find someone to love more than me. I promise you, I'll make it happen somehow." Her eyes began to close, and Victor felt his heart clench._

_"No, Vera, no. Please stay with me." He clutched her closer to him, silently praying to anyone and anything that would listen._

_“Promise.” Her voice was barely audible, but her grip was firm as she squeezed his hand._

_“I promise, Vera, but you have to stay with me.”_

_Victor felt her last breath, and her hand went utterly lax in his own. He shook her and pleaded with her to wake up. He didn’t even realize he was screaming until the paramedics tried to take her from him. But he only continued to scream and grip her harder._

When Victor came back to himself, the car was still running, and the window had fogged from his heavy breathing. He felt lightheaded and that at any moment he might be sick. With shaking hands, Victor reached into his jacket pocket for his phone, unlocked the screen and called his brother.

The phone rang and rang until Yuri's voicemail picked up the call. Victor hung up and called again. This time, Yakov answered on the second ring. “Vitya, what’s wrong?”

“Where’s Yuri?”

“He’s, um, busy at the moment.” In the background, Victor could hear his brother cursing and hissing in pain.

“What happened?!” Victor shrieked as the panic threatened to envelope him again.

It took Yakov a few moments to answer, and when he did, he spoke each word carefully. “There was just a little accident at the rink. Nothing to worry about.”

“Let me speak to him.” 

Before Yakov could respond, there was a muffling sound as Yuri grabbed the phone. “Perfect timing, as always.” Yuri’s voice sounded strained, “Talk to me, Victor, what’s going on?”

“You sound hurt. What happened.” 

Victor heard a woman apologize in the background as Yuri grunted in pain. “Nothing, I’m fine. What happened this time?”

Victor gripped the steering wheel, “Yuri, tell me what the fuck is going on!”

"Nothing! I fell and landed on my ankle badly. It's not sprained or anything, but its swollen and I’m getting it wrapped.”

Victor exhaled, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Ask me one more time, and I'll come to Detroit to kick your ass just to prove I’m fine. Now, what happened?” His tone was harsh and endearing, warming Victor's heart in the unique way only Yuri could. His brother didn’t treat him with kid gloves like the rest of his family. He knew what Victor needed better than he did.

“I just needed to hear your voice.” 

“Well, now that you’ve heard it, distract me while Ana finishes wrapping my ankle.”

Victor felt the corner of his lips raise as the ice in his chest began to thaw. “I have a boyfriend. Want to hear about him?”

“Ew, god no, anything but that.” 

Victor chuckled, having to think for a moment of something that wasn’t Yuuri-related. “Makkachin ate cat food again last night.” 

"Hmm, I don't miss that. Potya never has to worry about Makka stealing her food anymore.”

“It was awful, totally ruined my plans for the night.” 

“Pft, a loser like you had plans for a Friday night? Maybe miracles do happen.” 

Victor felt the rest of his panic wash away and his muscles relaxed. “Thanks, Yurio, I needed that.”

“God, I hate that stupid nickname. Ow! That’s too tight!” Victor heard another apology and Yakov muttering something. 

“I know you do. I love you, Yurio.” 

Yuri clucked his tongue, "Whatever, old man. Hey if I were you, don't call Lilia this week. She's freaking out about her upcoming ballet, and Yakov, and I are avoiding her like the plague. When it’s safe, I’ll tell her you called, so she doesn't like freak on you for not calling.”

“Awe, see, Yuri! You love me, too!”

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Are we done now?"

“Sure, I’ll let you go.” 

"I was talking to Ana, but if we're done, too, that's even better. Cause of this ankle I'll be off the ice for at least a week so tell Chris I'll be free to game."

“Say, Yuri, I’m off this week. I can play with you, too!”

“Yeah, no thanks, you suck. I’ll text Chris myself.” 

Victor tried to ignore the jab, but it stung. “Hey! I’m not that bad.”

"Um, yeah you are. You're old, and you suck. Yakov’s ready to leave, call me back if you need to, though.” Yuri ended the call and Victor smiled, thankful for his brother's twisted support. After a few deep breaths, Victor put the car in gear and made his way home.

* * *

When Yuuri opened the door to their room, Phichit already had their suitcases pulled out from under their beds and open on the floor. Phichit was sifting through his closet, throwing clothes haphazardly towards the bed. “So, are you going to tell me what happened last night or are we going to pretend nothing happened?”

Yuuri chuckled, amazed that Phichit lasted this long. “Let me get into the room first before you start asking questions.” He had half-expected his friend to pull him aside the moment he had woken up, demanding answers.

“You said you were going to talk then come back down. I’m assuming something far more entertaining came up?” Phichit pointed to Yuuri’s chair.

Yuuri rolled his eyes taking a seat, "We didn't talk all that much."

Phichit’s eyes went wide with excitement as he dropped the sweater he was holding. “Details, Yuuri! Details!”

“We kissed then went to sleep.” Yuuri couldn’t help but laugh at the way Phichit’s expression fell into disappointment as he bent down to pick up the sweater.

“You’re telling me you spent the night in the bed of a god and you didn’t take advantage of it?” 

"You should start referring to him by his name. He’s my boyfriend, not some deity or statue, just Victor.” Yuuri knew Phichit didn't mean any harm with the nicknames, but they bothered him. Victor was just a person. A beautiful, talented person, but a person all the same. 

“Fine, so why did you not bang your secret boyfriend? That was the plan, wasn’t it?” 

Yuuri sighed, “We’re taking things slow.” 

In a way, Yuuri was thankful nothing heated had happened between them. Victor was special, and he wanted their first time to be, too. He expected Phichit to question him further, but instead, his friend just shrugged, “Okay.” 

“That’s it? Okay?” 

Phichit shifted his glance from his closet to Yuuri, “Yeah, I mean if you want to take things slow then take things slow. From what I saw this morning, it seems like Victor really likes you and that’s good enough for me.”

“Really?” Warmth bloomed in his chest. Yuuri knew Victor liked him but to hear Phichit voice it made him happy. 

"Of course! It's your relationship. However, if you do sleep together and hide it from me, I may never forgive you." 

Yuuri laughed and stood to start his own packing, “Why is that so important?” 

“Because, out of the two of us, you’re the closest to getting some and I need to live vicariously through you.” Phichit slammed his closet door shut and made his way to the bed, where almost all of his clothes waited in a pile to be folded and packed. 

“Okay, I promise.”   

Over the years, Yuuri had traveled all over the world for competitions, giving him plenty of practice when it came to packing.

In his carry-on Yuuri crammed both his costumes and his skates, not willing to part with them for international travel. He was paranoid that if he put them in his checked baggage, they would get lost, leaving him helpless right before a competition. 

The first time Yuuri had traveled with his skates, he was nervous. Although he had called the airline twice and they had assured him that they were allowed on the flight, Yuuri was worried they would confiscate them at security. Just to make sure, he always made sure to travel with ample proof that he was a figure skater on route to compete.

Packing for a competition in Japan always felt different.

The last time was for Nationals and the memory of his performance there, only a few months prior, still made him want to cry. He had believed he wouldn't get another chance to prove himself this season, so the fact that he was packing today at all felt like a dream.

Since finding out he’d been accepted as a competitor for Four Continents, Yuuri had poured everything he had left into improving his routines. He knew he was capable of medalling if he pulled off a clean performance, he just had to stay calm and focused.

“What did you want to do after you finish packing?” Phichit asked, zipping his last bag shut. 

Phichit had somehow managed to finish packing all his clothes and skating equipment before Yuuri had even finished sorting through his clothes. “How did you finish so fast!”

“What can I say, I’m amazing!”

“If you’re so amazing why don’t you help me pack my stuff?” 

Phichit plopped onto his bed and took out his phone. “I would, but then who would look up what movies are playing? It’s been forever since we’ve been to the theatre and I think there’s a new Disney musical about an ice princess playing!”

"If you're talking about _Frozen_ , it looks amazing, and it doesn't come out until later this year." A friend from Yuuri’s program had shown him the trailer as soon as it was released since it combined all of his favorite things: Disney, musicals, and ice. “If you want to watch a Disney movie, though, with everyone gone for reading week, we’ll have the common room to ourselves.

Phichit lit up as he reached for his laptop. “Deal! We’ll have a Disney movie marathon today and eat junk till we puke!” 

Although the idea appealed to him, Yuuri didn't think his stomach could handle it. “That’s probably not the best idea before a competition.”

“Fine, we’ll have some junk but not enough to make us regret it.”

With a smile, Yuuri nodded and rushed to finish packing.

* * *

Although speaking to Yuri had helped, Victor was still on edge. Chris picked up on his mood without him having to explain, so Chris did what Chris did best, think of the greatest way to distract Victor from himself. 

This time, Chris suggested they go shopping, which thankfully took up most of the day. By the time they got home Victor felt a lot better, even though his bank account would be missing a few zeros.

“We should go somewhere for the week. As an early birthday gift to myself, let’s escape the cold and go somewhere hot!”

Victor looked up from his phone to glare at his roommate, “We both have work to do this week. We can’t just pack up and go somewhere.”

“Of course, we can! All we need is our laptops and wifi. Plus, with Yuuri in Japan, it's not like anything's keeping you here.”

“Um yeah, there is.” Victor argued, “I have over two hundred midterms to mark this week.”

“Remember when you used to be fun and said yes to everything?” Chris pouted, making Victor’s resolve stronger.

“Remember the last impromptu trip we took? You almost got us arrested in Amsterdam.”

Chris grinned, "Keyword, _almost_."

“Yeah, thanks, but no thanks. It’s getting late; we should go to bed." Victor looked at the clock warily, knowing Chris was only up this late for Victor's sake. 

“Are you sure you’re okay to go to bed?”

Victor sighed, “I should be fine.”

Chris looked at him with a knowing glance. “I don’t mind staying up with you tonight if it will help.”

“It won’t. Might as well get some sleep before the inevitable.” 

When Victor first had the dream, he’d woken up the whole house with his screams and his retching. After the first year, he was better able to control the screaming but never the vomiting. Not back then. He'd empty his stomach contents into the wastebasket beside his bed until he was done. At some point, Yuri would wander into his room. He was always able to tell when Victor had woken from a nightmare. Even though he was just a little boy, Yuri would sit there with Victor until the vomiting stopped, curl up next to him and hold him until he fell asleep. For those first few years, his little brother was the only thing keeping him here, hanging on to this world by a thread.

Moving back to Moscow for school years later was both a blessing and a curse. For the first time, no one knew who Vera was. They didn't know Victor's soul was broken beyond repair. They merely saw a pretty face with silver hair cut incredibly short.

The only person he had opened up to about Vera in his undergrad was Chris. It took months for him to tell his roommate why he woke up screaming some nights, but eventually he told him everything. The reveal was gradual but complete all the same. When Chris moved back to Switzerland, Victor never got a new roommate. Instead, he found comfort in the string of lovers that warmed his bed.

Most of the time, on the nights he shared himself with strangers, the dream would leave him alone and allow him to rest in some semblance of peace. Sometimes he’d have the dream but no other symptoms; no screaming, no retching. He’d curl up to the warm body next to him, the way Yuri used to, and try to chase the cold feeling of _her_ body from his limbs.

Only a handful of times over the years, Victor would have the dream with a lover present. He’d have to explain that he suffered from night terrors before awkwardly going back to bed. The next morning he'd hope to never see them again for fear of having to explain himself further. 

No one ever stayed, nor did he ever want them to. They had a purpose to serve, and that was all. That was until almost two years ago.

It was August and Victor was at a wedding. He didn't want to go but everyone in his department was going, and he didn't want to be the only one who didn't attend. The happy couple met in their first year, and after being together for five years, they decided to get married. That's all he knew about them before the day of the wedding. When he arrived, he was the only one without a date.

It was a bit awkward, but he quickly met up with acquaintances and the bartender. By the time the music started, and the bride walked down the aisle, Victor had a decent buzz going. The ceremony was intimate but straightforward. The couple opted to write their own vows, and the words they chose spoke to Victor in a way that made him question all of his life choices since Vera's death. She wanted him to be happy, she wanted him to love — but Victor had never tried to do either.

He didn't bother to stay for the reception, barely even making it out of the venue before he broke down. The cab driver that took him home didn't question why he had left a wedding in tears, nor was there anyone in the halls of his apartment building to see him stumble his way through the door. It had been years, but the pain of losing his family hit him as if it was fresh again.

Victor had been so numb for so many years without realizing it, and for once he allowed himself to feel. He swore off sex for good until he found someone he could see himself loving. He wanted what that couple had, and he wouldn't settle for less. Not anymore. 

After he decided to stop sleeping around to chase away the dream, it came more frequently. It took over a year for Victor to learn to cope with the dream. In time, he could wake up, calm himself, usually with the help of Makka, and eventually fall back asleep again.

With a sigh Victor got up from the couch, wished Chris a good night, and began to climb the stairs. Makkachin followed as Victor made his way to the loft and got ready for bed. He took his time, trying to prolong his night time routine before reluctantly getting into bed. The cold sheets were no comfort to him as he tried to relax and get comfortable. His eyes burned from exhaustion, but sleep evaded him.

It was crazy to him that Yuuri had been in the very same bed only the night before. Reaching for his phone, Victor pulled up their texts. They had exchanged a few messages during the day; Victor telling Yuuri about the stuff he bought and Yuuri telling him about the movies he and Phichit had watched. Considering that Yuuri had to get up early for his flight the next day, Victor hesitantly typed out a text, wishing him pleasant dreams and a safe flight.

When he didn’t answer right away, Victor assumed Yuuri was sleeping. He scrolled though his phone for a while longer until he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. Placing his phone on the bedside table, Victor closed his eyes and wished for a dreamless night.

Tonight, however, the dream was more vivid and more horrible than he had ever remembered. It felt so real that Victor truly believed he was back in that car, moments after that fatal accident. He woke to Chris shaking him awake and his voice was raw from his screams. Makkachin was barking at the foot of the bed, frantically clawing at the covers. Chris had witnessed Victor in this state on more than a few occasions, but never to this extent. 

When he was able to move his arms, Victor reached out to Chris and clung to him, drenching his friends' robe with tears where he rested his head. Chris was whispering calming words in his ear while he stroked Victor's damp hair away from his face. He wasn't sure how much time passed, but eventually, he let go of Chris and collapsed back down on the bed feeling bone tired and cathartic. For the longest time, neither of them said a word. They just stayed as they were, the room void of all sound except for their breathing.

"I don't want to talk about it." Victor flinched at the sound of his raw voice. 

Chris nodded and sat up. Makkachin jumped on the bed, resting in Victor's lap immediately.

When Chris reached the bedroom door he turned back to Victor with a quizzical look, “If you change your mind, it’s just before noon in Russia and Yuuri’s flight hasn’t left yet.”

Victor just cuddled into Makka’s fur, not bothering to offer a reply. When the door closed, Victor let fall the tears he’d barely managed to hold back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warning: panic attack, description of Vera and Victor's parents death, vomiting, and nightmare/night terror.**   
> 
> 
>   
>  I rewrote this chapter six time. SIX TIMES with six different documents. Some of the titles were Chapter 12ish, Chapter 12 - v.3.1, and Is This Still Chapter 12.
> 
> This chapter is a lot more intense than I first imagined but not as detailed as some of my other versions of this chapter. The final version is an amalgamation of all six so sorry if it's a little choppy. Special ty to my bestie for listening to me rant about this chapter and helping me through it! 
> 
> I started writing about 4Cs but then the idea for this chapter formed, and I had to start over. With 4Cs starting, song recommendations for short and free skates are needed! I have some ideas, but I'm having some trouble, so suggestions are welcome! 
> 
> I had to take a bit of a break from this chapter last week, and I wrote a oneshot - I wasn't going to post it but I changed my mind and the link if you're interested in reading it can be found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14811890).
> 
> Since my last update two weeks ago I've received a You've got kudos! email every morning for this fic so thank you to all the newcomers! 
> 
> Most writers say it, but your comments mean the world to us! Whenever I'm struggling with a scene or need to smile I skim your wonderful words so thank you!


	13. Maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“It was the promise of maybe, maybe one day.”_  
>  ― Jenny Han, To All the Boys I've Loved Before

_He’s naked. So very naked._

Yuuri’s heart was pounding a mile a minute while a very exposed Victor lounged on his bed. He'd barely allowed himself to glance at Victor the previous morning when he’d accidentally walked out of the bathroom, but now he was flat out ogling. 

Before, Yuuri had only imagined what lay beneath Victor’s tight shirts and khakis. Clearly, he didn't have a creative imagination since nothing he possibly could dream up came close to the real thing. Victor was gorgeous.  

“There you are, I’ve been waiting for you.” Yuuri looked around his dorm room, or what he thought was his dorm room, and pointed to himself. _Me?_

Victor nodded and patted the space beside him on the bed. The mattress was huge, even though Yuuri was pretty sure all the dorm rooms had single beds. Looking down at himself he had an uncomfortable realization, _where are my clothes?_

“Are you going to keep me waiting… or are you going to join me?” 

Yuuri tried to speak, but no words came out. Even when he finally decided to move, his body wouldn't respond, leaving him staring dumbly at Victor. He was so beautiful, and Yuuri wanted nothing more than to join him. The room was so bright that it hurt Yuuri’s eyes to keep them open, but he couldn’t look away. Victor was looking at him like he was something to devour and Yuuri _loved_ it.

Ever so gently, Victor caressed the length of his naked body. His long thin fingers brushed along his thigh, his hips, around his navel, and back again. Yuuri couldn’t look away even if he tried. His eyes followed Victor's fingers, silently wishing for those hands to trail his own body in the same fashion. His mouth was dry, but there was nothing to quench his thirst. 

A sudden beeping sound startled Yuuri, and the image of Victor became slightly distorted.

“Oh my god, get up.” 

The words sounded like they came from Victor, but his lips didn’t move. _Get up? I am up._  

Yuuri eyes snapped open as a pillow hit his face. 

“Turn off your alarm!” Phichit cried from the other side of the room. 

Instinctively, Yuuri reached for his phone to hit the snooze button. “Sorry! Did you just throw a pillow at me?” 

“Yes! How did you sleep through your alarm? You’re like the lightest sleeper I know.”

“I was having a really good dream.” Yuuri grabbed for his glasses and put them on. His ceiling came into focus and Yuuri tried to force his brain to forget how delicious his boyfriend looked.

“I bet,” Phichit got out of bed and stretched. “You were moaning in your sleep.”

Yuuri shot up, “I was?!”

“No, not exactly,” Phichit grinned, raising his eyebrows suggestively. "But if you thought you were then that means I definitely want to know what you were dreaming about. Or should I say _who_?”

Feeling his cheeks heat, Yuuri stumbled out of bed and made a bee-line for the bathroom.

“Don’t take too long in there!” Phichit shouted through the door. “I need to shower, too, before the car gets here!”

Nothing was worse than a cold shower, but right now Yuuri needed one. He stripped quickly and turned the cold water on full blast, allowing the freezing water to wake him and cool the desire pooling in his groin. Yuuri jolted as soon as the water made contact with his face and instantly felt more alert. With one problem solved, he willed the other to follow.

He failed miserably.

Contemplating what to do, Yuuri knew that if he didn’t take care of himself now, he’d regret it on the plane later. With a sigh, Yuuri turned up the water temperature and let his imagination run wild.

* * *

Phichit loved to travel but hated to fly. Trains, boats, and cars were fine, but planes just freaked him out. He’d watched one too many plane crash movies, which made traveling with him a nightmare.

When they arrived at the airport, Celestino informed them that their flight was delayed an hour and Phichit insisted it was a bad sign. It took a good five minutes of begging and the promise of Starbucks to get Phichit to agree to check their luggage and make their way over to security. 

Seeing Phichit nervous made Yuuri nervous, so he tried to distract them both while they waited for their boarding call. Phichit had begged Yuuri all morning to read his texts with Victor. “And then this morning he texted saying ‘ _Sweet dreams and have a safe flight tomorrow! <3’_”

“What did you say? ‘Good morning, handsome, missing you already’?” Phichit baited between sips of his frappuccino.

The truth was, Yuuri had no idea what to say back. Every response he thought of sounded stupid:

_Thanks, I did have sweet dreams. You were naked, it was great._

_I did have sweet dreams! About you ;)_

_I dreamt of you, so my dreams were sweet._

“I haven’t said anything. It’s really early, and I don’t want to wake him.” Yuuri looked at his friend then back at his phone screen. “Why do you think he put a heart at the end? In his other text, he ended them with a smiley face, but his last text had a heart. Does that mean something?” 

Phichit snorted, "Is that why you have that goofy grin on your face? A heart emoji? Geez, you got it bad!"

Yuuri looked around to see that no one was listening to their conversation. Celestino left them to watch his bags while he went to get a book and snacks for the plane. “Phichit, I’m serious!” 

“I know! That’s what makes it funny! Let me see your phone.” 

Yuuri hesitated before handing Phichit his phone. He observed Phichit's face as he skimmed their texts. "These are too PG for my liking. You need to spice things up!”

“What are you doing!” Yuuri reached for his phone as Phichit dodged him and began to type out a reply.

“Don’t worry; I won’t send anything without your permission.” Phichit turned the screen towards Yuuri, “What do you think of this?”

_All my dreams will be sweet as long as you're in them! ;) Don't miss me too much xox_

The phone began to ring, startling both skaters as Victor's name showed up on the screen. "Oh my god, why is he calling me?"

“I don’t know, ask him!” Phichit answered the call and pressed the phone to Yuuri’s ear and moved closer in an attempt to hear the conversation.

“Hello?” 

“Yuuri, you haven’t left yet?” Victor sounded relieved and a bit tired. _I wonder if he woke up just to say hi!_  

"No, not yet, our flight got delayed an hour.”

“Oh, that sucks. Sorry to bother you, I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Really?” Phichit grabbed his arm and shook him. 

“Are you alone?” Victor asked, his voice uncharacteristically sullen.

_Say yes!_ Phichit mouthed, “No, I’m not, but I can be. Give me a second.” Yuuri shook Phichit off and moved to the other side of the gate where there were fewer people. He didn’t have to look back to know Phichit was scowling at him. “Okay, I’m alone now.” 

Yuuri waited for Victor to say something, but as the silence stretched on, he began to get anxious. “Victor, is everything okay?” 

“Um no, not really.” Yuuri could hear muffled sobs as though Victor was crying but trying to hide it.

“Do you want to talk?”

Victor sniffled, “Do you mind?”

“Not at all!” Yuuri moved further away from the gate and took a seat on the floor by what looked to be a janitor’s closet. “Like I said, my flight got delayed, so I have time."

“Okay.” 

Yuuri wasn’t sure what to say, so he waited for Victor to calm a bit before asking if he was okay again.

A few moments passed before Victor’s breathing evened out again and he chuckled, “God, I’m a mess.”

“A hot mess, I’m sure.” As soon as the words were out, Yuuri regretted them. His attempt at humor now probably wasn't warranted. Thankfully, Victor laughed, and Yuuri felt himself relax slightly.

“I’m a really ugly crier.”

Yuuri tried to imagine what Victor looked like with puffy red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. “I seriously doubt that. You’re beautiful.”

“Pft, I’d show you, but I don’t want to scare you away just yet. I only just got you.” It sounded like Victor was teasing, but Yuuri couldn't help worrying that he meant it.

“There’s nothing really that you could say or do that would scare me away.”

Victor sighed, pausing a moment before responding, “It’s hard for me to talk to anyone about this. I’m honestly surprised that I even called you, I usually call my brother.” 

Yuuri’s heart clenched, “Then I’m glad you called me.”

Victor was silent again. Yuuri wasn't sure how much time passed, but his stomach growled as he watched Celestino return and hand Phichit a bagel.

“Tell me about your programs, Yuuri.”

"Um, what do you want to know?" Yuuri was confused. He assumed Victor would talk to him about why he was upset, not about skating.

"Anything. What do your costumes look like? What's your theme? What songs did you choose?" 

Realizing that Victor probably needed a distraction, Yuuri began a less than brief description of his programs. “My coach pretty much made all those decisions for me. You'll see my costumes when you watch the live stream, and my theme is devotion. Celestino thought it was fitting for my last year to celebrate all the hard work I’ve put into school and skating over the years. My free skate is to this Italian opera song Celestino loves, and my short program is an instrumental piece." 

“Would I know them?”

“The songs? Probably not.”

When Victor didn’t reply, Yuuri changed the subject.

“So, I had a dream this morning.” Yuuri didn’t think he’d be able to share his dream with Victor face-to-face but being on the phone somehow made it feel less awkward.

“What kind of dream?”

Victor sounded distant again, which was precisely the opposite reaction he was hoping for. Yuuri mouthed a curse at his failed attempt to help, thinking before he answered, “Um, it’s kind of embarrassing, and I'm kind of in a crowded airport so I probably shouldn't tell you right now." 

“Oh my god! Was it a sex dream? Please tell me it was a sex dream! Was I in it?”

The enthusiasm in Victor's voice and how quickly his mood changed brought a smile to Yuuri’s face. “Maybe.” 

“Maybe it was a sex dream, maybe I was in it, or both?! Was it both? Please tell me it was both. Yuuri, are you dreaming about other guys?”

Yuuri laughed, “Oh you were definitely in it.” To hear Victor’s squeal of delight made any embarrassment about admitting his dream completely worth it.

Although he was far enough away from anyone to be able to hear him, Yuuri still felt the need to whisper, “I have to admit, the naked Victor in my dream was pretty close to the glimpse I got of you yesterday morning.”

“Oh yeah?” Victor asked, his voice low and seductive. “Liked what you saw?”

“Maybe.” Yuuri had to bite his lip to prevent himself from grinning like a fool. 

“Yurrrri… don’t tease me like that!”

"I don't know. I think I need a better look after I come back to make a proper conclusion.”

“Why wait?” Victor asked with a chuckle. "If you're still alone, we can switch to a video chat, and I can show you now."

Yuuri almost dropped the phone. “Um did you forget I’m at the airport about to board a thirteen-and-a-half-hour flight to Korea?”

“Korea? I thought you were going to Japan?” 

“I am, but we have a three-hour layover in Seoul, then about a two-hour flight to Osaka.” As if on cue, the agent standing at their gate began to start the boarding call. “They’re starting to let people onto the plane. I have to go soon.”

“Okay. If you can, call or text me when you land so I know you arrived safely.”

Phichit began flailing his arms in an attempt to get Yuuri’s attention, beckoning him towards the line for the gate. "I will. I bought a travel plan for this week so call or text me whenever. Don’t worry about the time difference.”

“Don’t say that or I may take you up on it.”

"I want you to call, Victor, really." Yuuri still wasn't sure why Victor had called him in tears, but he wanted to make sure that if Victor needed him, he'd be there. "I may be over six thousand miles away, but I'm here for you if you need me."

"Okay, lyubov moya," Victor spoke the words so softly Yuuri almost missed them.

“What does that mean?” Yuuri got up from the floor and began to make his way towards the gate. He assumed the Russian term was some sort of nickname since Victor had used it twice now.

"Um, it's nothing! Enjoy the flight! Bye!” Yuuri heard the line go dead and pocketed his phone with a huff.

 

* * *

"Ugh thank god we landed. I hate planes. I hate them!" Phichit hissed through clenched teeth.

Over a day’s worth of traveling and two flights later, they arrived in Japan. As soon as the seatbelt sign turned off, Yuuri turned his phone off of airplane mode and waited to see if Victor had responded to his last text. 

On the flight to Seoul, Yuuri had told Phichit about the mysterious Russian nickname he’d acquired. Phichit insisted that the moment they landed, they had to try and figure out what it meant. Google was a beautiful thing, and Phichit and Yuuri had spent the layover googling Russian terms of endearment until Yuuri was pretty sure they'd found the correct name Victor had used. 

_I didn’t realize Russian had so many sweet endearments. Zolotse, lapochka, and, malysh are cute, but lyubov moya is my favorite since it’s what I think you called me. Am I right, my love? ;)_

At the time, Yuuri was excited when Phichit typed out the text and asked if it was okay for him to send. That excitement slowly turned to worry when Victor didn't answer right away, even though they'd been texting almost nonstop until then. Yuuri had left his phone on as long as possible, wishing for a reply, before the flight attendant requested all electronics to be turned off. Now that his phone had found service again, Yuuri opened his iMessages and waited to see what came through. He was delighted to see messages from his mother, Minako, but most of all Victor.

"What did he say?" Phichit asked as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Maybe.” Yuuri couldn’t help but feel giddy as he typed out his reply, _Maybe? Now, who's teasing whom?_ _Just landed in Japan text me when you’re awake! :)_

“That’s it? Maybe?” The skaters waited in their seats, not bothering to get up with the rest of the passengers. 

“That’s it.” Yuuri didn’t care to explain the meaning, moving onto the messages from Minako. To his delight, her text read that she was already waiting for them at the arrival gate. 

"I was expecting something more dramatic than that. What a disappointment." Phichit, having lost interest in Yuuri's phone, began checking his own notifications that continued to flood his phone.

“My mom says hi,” Yuuri said as he rifled through the rest of his texts. “She said she has a surprise for the both of us with Minako.”

“Really? Please tell me it’s some of her famous cooking you rave about.”

“God, I hope so.” Yuuri didn’t even try to hide the shiver that went through him thinking about his mother’s cooking. Her katsudon was borderline orgasmic, and every time he thought about it his mouth started to water.

“Come on boys, check your phones later. Don’t you want to get off this plane?” Celestino asked from the window seat.

"Yes!" Phichit replied, practically jumping over Yuuri into the aisle and bumping into another passenger.

When they finally got off the plane, Yuuri was surrounded by people speaking his native tongue. As they waited for their luggage, Yuuri felt the familiar twinge of homesickness pool in his gut. It was bittersweet being so close to home without actually going to visit his family. Seeing Minako’s smiling face at the arrivals gate lessened the ache in his chest by a fraction, until she screamed his name and held up a sign with their names on it.

“Is that Minako, Yuuri?” Phichit asked, squinting to read the sign.

Groaning, Yuuri nodded and closed the distance between them. “Do you just love drawing attention to yourself, or embarrassing me?” The Japanese slipping off his tongue as smooth as silk.

“Both!” Minako beamed in English, as she reached out and hugged him. “That’s from your mother.” 

Celestino cleared his throat as the two parted. His mentors had met a few times now since Minako insisted on tagging along to any competition she could manage. “Hi, Minako. It's nice to see you again."

To Yuuri’s surprise, Minako ignored him and turned to Phichit instead, “And you must be Phichit! Yuuri’s told me so much about you.”

Phichit shook her hand and grinned, “Same here! I can’t wait to swap embarrassing Yuuri stories! I’m sure you have way more than I do.”

“Haha very funny. Can we please get out of here? I’m exhausted.” All Yuuri wanted to do was check into the hotel, shower, and try to get some sleep. Phichit had taken a sleeping pill on the flight to Seoul, but Yuuri had only been able to take quick naps on and off.

"Since you've been traveling for over a day, I'll forgive you tonight, but tomorrow we're going out and doing some site seeing!” Minako grabbed Yuuri’s hand and began to lead them through the airport. Yuuri had to practically jog to keep up with her long dancer’s legs. Minako was always a woman on a mission, and as much as she embarrassed him, she was like a second mother to him.

“I’m so excited to go to Universal Studios!” Phichit squealed, a few paces behind them. “I haven’t been to an amusement park since I was a kid!” 

“We came early to skate remember? Not just to have fun.” Although Yuuri couldn’t see him, he knew Celestino was smiling. “One day of fun, then you’re both at the rink for practice.”

* * *

"You're allowed a quick nap; then we're sneaking out," Phichit whispered as he flopped on his bed. The hotel room they were in was small, but it was larger than the dorm room they shared, and each skater had a queen size bed to themselves.

“Um, no we're not. I’m sleeping.” 

“Come on, Yuuri! We have to go clubbing!” The legal drinking age in Japan was twenty. Yuuri knew this, but he was hoping Phichit didn’t. 

“No, we don’t.” 

“Please!” Phichit begged, “I can’t go alone, and I don’t speak Japanese! I’d be lost without you.”

Phichit looked at him with puppy dog eyes, and Yuuri didn't have it in his heart to deny his friend. “Fine, but we’re not doing anything crazy.”

Yuuri regretted agreeing to go out the moment he entered the club. The music was blaring, and he was so tired he wasn’t sure how Phichit had managed to drag him out of bed. He'd barely had a two-hour nap before Phichit had woken him to get ready.

“We’re doing shots!” Phichit screamed over the music, dragging Yuuri towards the bar. According to Google, Grand Slam was a foreigner-friendly gay bar located in the heart of the Doyama gay scene. The place seemed a lot smaller in the pictures Phichit had shown him, which was the only reason he agreed to the bar in the first place.

"I thought we agreed on nothing crazy!" On the far side of the room, men in nothing but white unbuttoned dress shirts and red hats danced on the bar Phichit was dragging him to. The room was dark except for the flashing coloured lights that darted around the room. 

“You’ll have more fun if you’re drunk!”

Three mixed drinks and four shots later, Phichit was right. Yuuri was having a blast as he danced his heart out. He was still tried, but the alcohol gave him a second wind as the skaters tore up the dancefloor. Thankfully, Phichit stuck with him all night and brushed off any advancements from anyone that tried to cut in. Phichit had his phone out most of the night, snapping pictures and taking videos until his phone died.

“What time is it!” Phichit yelled, pointing to his wrist where a watch would go. Yuuri took out his phone to check the time but only saw the missed call from Victor and voicemail notification.

“Oh my god, I have to call Victor.” Yuuri looked around for the exit.

“Why what’s wrong?” 

“He was upset earlier, and I said he could call me if he needed to talk, and I totally missed his call!"

“Oh shit! Go out to the patio where it’s quieter. I’ve got to pee. I'll meet you there later!"

Yuuri nodded, pushing his way through the crowd that had grown significantly since they’d arrived. Not even bothering to get to the exit, Yuuri called Victor and put the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” Yuuri could barely hear Victor over the music.

“Hi sorry! Give me a sec!” Yuuri apologized as he pushed through the dancefloor. When he opened the patio door, and the cool air hit his sweat-drenched skin, he shivered. "Sorry I missed your call, is everything okay?" 

“Yes, everything is fine, Yuuri.” Victor sounded cheery, immediately relaxing the panic that was coursing through Yuuri. “Are you at a club?”

The smell of smoke was thick in the air, making Yuuri cough. “Yeah, Phichit dragged me out.”

“I’m sure he did, are you having fun?”

The patio was full of smokers huddled around heating lamps. Although it was cool, it wasn’t nearly as cold as it had been in Detroit. The alcohol was keeping Yuuri warm, and the breeze was a welcome change from the heat of the club. "I wasn't, but now it's not so bad."

Victor giggled, “Are you drunk, Yuuri?” 

“No, but Phichit is. I can always handle more than he can.” Yuuri knew his limits. He’d gone over them enough times to know when to stop. He’d perfected the balance of knowing how much to drink to get tipsy but not enough to get sick since it seemed that those were his only two options. 

“Is that so?” 

Yuuri didn't like the taunting tone to Victor's voice, “Are you mocking me?”

“Maybe.”

Never had a word as simple as that made Yuuri’s heart race. “That reminds me, _my love,_ care to give me a lesson in Russian?” 

Victor laughed nervously, “How did you figure that out?”

“Google.”

“And what do you think?”

“About what?”

“About me calling you _lyubov moya._ ”

A shiver that had nothing to do with the cold raced down Yuuri’s spine. “I think its sexy. Anything you say is sexy, but anything in Russian is like really hot."

“Is that so, _zolotse_?”

“What does that one mean?”

"My gold," The affection in Victor's voice made Yuuri smile so wide it hurt. "You said in your text you liked that one.”

“I do, but you could be telling me I smell in Russian and I’d love it.” 

Victor laughed, “I speak French too.” 

“Really?”

“Oui, mon ange.”

Yuuri leaned onto the brick wall for support, “What does that mean?”

“Yes, my angel.” 

Closing his eyes, Yuuri enjoyed the rush the words gave him. Screw the alcohol, he felt drunk just listening to Victor speak, “Never mind, you could speak English, French, or Russian, and it would still be hot.”

“I’m glad you think so, I’m fairly vocal in bed.”

Yuuri groaned, feeling every nerve in his body ignite. “Fuck, why am I in Japan right now?”  

Victor laughed, “To win a competition.”

The words sobered Yuuri faster than if someone had dumped a bucket of cold water on him. "I doubt I'll win." 

“What makes you say that?" 

“Last time I was in Japan, I messed up badly, and I'm afraid I'll let my country down again. I tend to let my performance anxiety get the best of me, and even though I have the ability to skate my programs perfectly, I usually mess up."

Every time he thought about having to compete Yuuri felt sick. His programs were good, but even if he skated them perfectly, he wasn't guaranteed a win. The other competitors had terrific programs, making medaling a challenge.

“Don’t skate for Japan then, skate in a way that makes you proud.”

The strength of Victor's words shook him, "What do you mean?"

“I mean don’t skate for anyone but yourself. If you can be proud of your performance, then that’s all that matters.”

Yuuri snorted, “It sounds so simple when you put it like that.”

“I know, but it can be. Pretend like you’re back in Detroit and your coach just told you that you if run through your program perfectly you can leave early for the day. Imagine you have plans with Phichit that you're really excited for and you're motivated to skate your best."

"That wouldn't work, Phichit and I have practices together. I could pretend that you and I have a date instead?”

Victor laughed, “Sure, we have plans to watch a Disney movie together cuddled on the couch with Makkachin.”

“Oh my god, that sounds perfect. Can we actually do that?” Victor had promised they'd watch a movie together on their last date, but neither of them had brought it up again.  

"Of course," Yuuri could hear the smile in Victor's voice. "Anything for you." 

The door to the bar opened, and Phichit walked over to where Yuuri was standing with a look that asked, _Is everything okay?_

Yuuri nodded, “I should probably go but thanks for the pep talk.”

"Hey, Yuuri?"

“Yeah?” 

“I um—” There was a pause before Victor spoke, “Call me if you need me to, for whatever reason.” 

It sounded like Victor had more to say, but when he didn’t go on, Yuuri replied, “Are you sure?”

After a deep breath, Victor answered, “Of course.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of the translations were in the chapter, but those that weren't can be found here:  
> lapochka = sweetie pie  
> malysh = baby
> 
> First, the talented [deeysoa](https://deeyosa.tumblr.com) completely made my year by drawing the last scene from Chapter 11! Dee your comments and art never fail to bring a smile to my face so thanks again! The link can be found [here](https://deeyosa.tumblr.com/post/174764654989/trying-hard-to-control-my-heart-i-walk-over-to). ❤
> 
> Second, summer hasn't even officially started yet, and I'm crazy busy! Although I never had an official update schedule, I've always tried to update once a week. At least for the next couple of weeks, updates will be slower. :(
> 
> Third, thank you to all of you that commented here or messaged me on Tumblr with song recommendations! They were all fantastic and I hope to use as many as possible for the next chapter! 
> 
> Fourth, for anyone who cares I have a second multi-chapter fic in the works and I'm very excited to share it! :D
> 
> I've had the privilege to get to know many of you better through [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dedicca), and I love making new friends so, please feel free to come to say hi anytime!


	14. Love and Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“Some people are truly beautiful. The light of beauty shines through their souls. And the world gets drenched in their inimitable light of love.”_  
>  ― Avijeet Das

Chris awoke at four in the morning to the smoke detector blaring. Most people would have panicked, wondering if their house was on fire, but Chris knew better. With a sigh, he grabbed his silk kimono and made his way towards the kitchen.

It was no strange occurrence for Victor to sketch or bake when he couldn’t sleep. Usually, Chris preferred to let Victor work things out on his own whenever he was going through one of his funks and come to Chris when he was ready. But after multiple nights of little to no sleep, Chris decided it was time to say something.

The smell of burnt food wafted down the hall, confirming what Chris already suspected. Victor had the back door open along with most of the windows when Chris entered the kitchen. Burnt cookies lay smoldering on the stovetop as Victor stood under the alarm, frantically waving a dish towel in an attempt to get the beeping to stop.

“Did you fall asleep while baking again?” Chris tried to make his tone light and teasing to hide his concern.

The alarm stopped, and Victor sagged onto the counter. “No, I forgot to set a timer and lost track of time.”

Chris nodded, noting Victor's blank sketchbook open on the kitchen table. “Too busy thinking of drawing your boyfriend?”

“Something like that," Victor muttered as he walked over to the stove and inspected the tray of cookies. “Do you think any of these are salvageable?”

Instead of looking at the tray in front of him, Chris inspected his friend’s face.

Victor usually looked too gorgeous for his own good. Men and women alike completely ignored Chris when Victor was around. But right now, Victor looked like a man possessed. His eyes were red and swollen and his hair looked like it hadn't been washed in days. When Victor caught him staring, Chris casually looked to the tray and grimaced. “No, those cookies look like they spent a week in the tropics without sunscreen. Totally burnt.”

Victor’s laugh sounded forced as he dumped the cookies into the garbage and placed the tray in the sink. Chris hated seeing Victor like this. After all these years, Chris had hoped that Victor would confide in him sooner than he did.

With a sigh, Chris took a seat at the kitchen table and watched Victor brood over the sink. “So… what happened to taking a sleeping pill tonight?”

Slowly, Victor looked up and met Chris’ gaze. “I didn’t want to be groggy for tomorrow.”

“You mean today.” Chris pointed at the clock on the stove. “It’s past midnight.”

“Semantics,” Victor countered as he joined Chris at the table.

“I'm starting to worry about you. When was the last time you slept?"

Victor rubbed his eyes, “I slept while you were at practice.”

“Let me rephrase that,” Chris pressed, “When was the last time you slept through the night? You know, at least eight hours.”

It took Victor a moment to responded. “Probably the night Yuuri was here.”

Chris gasped. “That was four days ago, Victor! This isn’t healthy.”

Victor shrugged, his expression blank.

“I know you don’t like relying on sleeping pills, but you can’t keep this up!” Victor’s indifference infuriated Chris, forcing him to clamp down on his impulse to shake his friend. “How do you plan on staying alert to watch Yuuri’s performance? I thought you promised to watch him?”

Victor went rigid before glowering at Chris, “I’ll be fine, Christophe.”

“You’re not fine so stop saying that. Please talk to me. Or if not me then someone else at least.”

Victor sagged into his chair, “There’s nothing to talk about. I know exactly what I need to do to get over this hump, and instead of doing it I’m acting like a coward.”

“You’re not a coward,” Chris offered gently. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

Victor snorted, “I'm not as strong as you think I am. If I were, I'd –"

“You’d what?” Chris prompted when Victor didn’t continue.

“I’d tell Yuuri everything.”

“Is _that_ what this is about?” Chris regretted his tone instantly and continued more gently.   “Victor, you’ve only known the guy for like a month. I’d be surprised if you had.”

“You don’t understand, Chris,” Victor huffed. “I feel like I’m lying to him. He’s been so good and supportive, but I can’t help but wait for the other shoe to drop.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what if I tell him everything and he treats me differently? Or worse, what if he realizes how fucked up I am and ends things?"

Chris sighed, “I think that’s a lot of assumptions. You don’t have to share everything all at once, you know. I’m sure whenever you decide to share more with him he’ll be understanding. If he’s not, then he doesn’t –"

“I love him.”

For a moment, Chris thought he’d misheard Victor.

Out of all the years they’d known each other, Chris had never heard his friend use the L word. But the softness on Victor’s face confirmed that Chris had heard correctly. Immediately, Chris felt embarrassed for the twinge of jealousy that sparked in his gut at seeing Victor’s enamoured expression.

"I know it's too soon, but I'm serious, Chris. I think I love him. From the first day I met him, he made me feel things I never thought I'd ever feel – and its only grown since then. I think about him all the time, and when I’m with him I don’t feel so alone.” Although his eyes were full of unshed tears, Victor’s lips quirked up slightly. “I almost told him, you know? I was on the phone with him, and we were about to hang up, and I almost said it.”

It took Chris a moment to find his voice, but when he did, all he could manage was a simple, “Okay.”

“That’s it?” Victor almost looked offended. “I tell you I’m in love and all you say is ‘okay’?”

“I think I’m still processing.”

Victor slumped onto the table, resting his head on his arms. “What do I do, Chris?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never been in love.” Chris cringed, changing the subject before letting the truth of his words sink in. “Are you sure?”

Victor looked up, “I think so. Even if it's not love, it's the closest I've come to it, and I'm scared. I don’t think I can handle losing another person I care about.”

Chris chose his next words carefully, “Victor, what happened to your family was an accident. A very tragic and horrible accident. It was not your fault.”

“I know, but –” The tears began to fall, and Victor did nothing to wipe them away. “I’m _happy_ , and I just feel so _guilty_.”

Chris stood to wrap his arms around his friend, rubbing his back in a soothing gesture, “You’re allowed to be happy.”

“No, I’m not.”

Chris pulled back to look Victor in the eyes, hoping his gaze expressed the sincerity he felt. “Yes. You are. If anyone in this world deserves to be happy, chéri, it’s you.”    

* * *

 

After his talk with Chris, Victor felt much lighter, and incredibly sleepy.  

The moment his head hit the pillow, Victor fell into a deep sleep. When he woke, Victor stretched, feeling refreshed and grateful for the long uninterrupted slumber.

Makkachin was curled up next to him in the space Yuuri had occupied just a few nights ago, prompting Victor to smile. He knew Chris was right, and with time he hoped to sort out his feelings for Yuuri before making any bold declarations of love.

Gabbing his phone, Victor had a few texts from Yuuri asking about his day. A part of him was sad that he slept through receiving the messages, but he knew he really needed the rest. Victor typed out a reply letting Yuuri know that he’d slept for most of the day and to call him when he woke up if he wanted to video chat. After his talk with Chris the night before, Victor finally felt in control of his emotions and was excited to see Yuuri’s face.

Victor assumed he’d have lots of time to shower and get ready before Yuuri called him. With the time difference, it was just before six in the morning in Japan, and Victor knew Yuuri loved to sleep in. He was startled when his phone began to ring only moments after he sent the text, and accepted the video call mostly on instinct.

“Yuuri!” Victor beamed as he took in Yuuri’s smiling face. His body felt like it was humming as he caught Yuuri’s eyes. Rolling onto his stomach, Victor rested his phone on top of his pillow and shifted until he got into a comfortable position. “What are you doing up so early?”

Yuuri’s cheeks were flushed and his sweaty hair was sticking to his brow. “I wanted to go for a run before we left for the rink. You weren’t kidding when you said you just woke up. What are you still doing in bed?”

Victor buried his face in his hands. His hair was messy, and his eyes were still puffy from the night before. "Sorry, we all can't look as gorgeous as you do first thing in the morning.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Victor peeked between his fingers to see Yuuri frowning. “You’re always beautiful.” Victor felt his heart skip a beat, and had to bite his lip to keep from grinning like a fool.  “I meant it’s late in the afternoon where you are.”

“I haven’t been sleeping much the last few days, so my body finally crashed.” Victor knew if Yuuri had asked the same question a day ago, he would have brushed the question off and attempted to change the subject. After his talk with Chris, however, the thought didn’t cross his mind.

“Oh, is everything okay?”

Yuuri’s brow furrowed in concern and Victor desperately wanted to kiss it away. “Now that I’ve seen you it is.”

"I'm serious, I’ve been worried about you.” Yuuri sounded genuinely concerned, making Victor feel worse.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I promise I’m doing a lot better.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I do,” Victor smiled, wishing Yuuri could know how genuine he was. He wanted to share more of himself even though a part of him was still afraid of the repercussions. So far, Victor didn’t have any reason to doubt Yuuri and he wanted the opportunity for them both to know more about each other. “But I think it would be best if we talked once you got home.”

“I’d like that.” Yuuri flashed him a shy smile as he nervously ran his hands through his sweaty hair. “Actually, there was something I wanted to talk to you about, too, but now’s probably a bad time.”

Grabbing his phone, Victor sat up, readying himself for whatever Yuuri had to say. “You can ask me anything.”

Yuuri looked hesitant, “Chris texted Phichit the other day inviting us to his birthday party next weekend, but I wanted to check with you first.”

Victor vaguely remembered Chris mentioning that he planned to throw a party at the house for his birthday, but he wasn’t sure why Yuuri looked so nervous. Did he think he needed to ask Victor for permission? “What do you mean?”

“I just wasn’t sure if you wanted to do something with just the two of us?” Yuuri paused, looking uncertain. When Victor didn’t respond, Yuuri continued, “Since it’s Valentine’s Day?”

“Yuuri! It's our first Valentine's Day together! Of course, we should do something." Victor wanted to kick himself for overlooking the holiday. Sure, it was a sappy day, and Victor knew he didn’t need an excuse to do something special for Yuuri. But this was the first Valentine’s Day he actually had someone to spoil, and Victor wanted to do something grand. With the hand that wasn't holding the phone, Victor reached for his laptop on the nightstand and began to brainstorm date ideas.

“We don’t have to do anything. I just—"

"No, we're doing something." Victor interrupted as he attempted to pull up the calendar on his laptop. “Valentine’s Day is on Thursday. Can you get Friday off?” An excuse for a romantic weekend away was too tempting to pass up.

“I have practice, but if I do well today and tomorrow, maybe. Why?”

“Because I have an idea. Can you take the weekend off? Do you have any assignments or midterms to study for?” For his plan to work, Victor had to make sure Yuuri was actually free the entire weekend. With only a week to plan, it’d be tough finding a decent hotel and reasonable flights, but if he could pull it off, he knew it would be worth it to see Yuuri’s face.

"No, but tell me what you're planning."

Victor looked at his phone and grinned, “Can I surprise you?”

Yuuri hesitated, “Why do I get the feeling I’ll regret saying yes?”

“You won’t!” Victor wanted to hug his phone in his excitement. “Just get Friday off and leave the rest to me!”

* * *

As his blades hit the ice, Yuuri couldn’t help but feel the familiar twinge of nerves spike his system. Tuning out the other skaters warming up next to him, Yuuri thought of all the reasons he wanted to do well in this competition.

First, he knew he had a good chance of medaling. Celestino spent an entire month helping Yuuri rework his programs to better suit his skating after his last competition. Although the main components of the program were all still there, the order was revised to allow a higher base score without increasing the difficulty. They took out the parts Yuuri wasn't confident in to give him a higher chance at a nice clean skate. 

Second, there were so many people here cheering him on. Even when his friends and family couldn't make it to a competition, he felt their support no matter the distance. Having Minako in the audience was special, but he knew Yuuko, his family, and now Victor, would be watching him from the comfort of their living rooms. A few fans shouted his name and had signs to cheer him on, which only added to his anticipation.

The third reason was purely selfish. Victor had looked so excited when Yuuri agreed to let him plan something for Valentine’s Day. Although he wanted to spend the weekend with Victor, he couldn’t justify taking a day off without doing well in this competition. World’s only a month away.

Taking a deep breath, Yuuri let the cold air of the rink fill his lungs as the announcer called the other skaters off the ice. Yuuri dreaded going first, but had anticipated it since he’d barely qualified. All the best skaters were in the last tier, since that group usually contained those most likely to medal.

The roar of the audience melted away as Yuuri made his way to centre ice. He could hear his heart beating and felt his limbs shake. Yuuri thought of his performance at the Grand Prix final and how he had tanked under pressure. He thought of how even after a month of practice he had failed again at Nationals. Even now, he was still letting his nerves overpower him. He thought of disappointing everyone again and how this time, Victor would be watching.

Victor told him to skate for himself, and he said he'd be watching, but those words weren't the ones that came to him now. _I'm sure you can relate sketching to figure skating. Anyone can learn to draw just like anyone can learn to skate, but it's the ones that bare their souls and bleed passion that stand above the rest. No matter how many sketches end up in the trash or however many times you fall, you get right back up and push forward. You can't let anything stand in the way of your passion or you'll lose everything you've worked towards._

At that moment all those weeks ago, Yuuri had remembered how much he loved to skate. It was that day that he skated for fun instead of pushing himself to improve. Even though his muscles burned, and he felt like he could collapse at any moment, he kept pushing himself to prove his devotion to the ice.

Celestino nodded at him from the sidelines as he entered his starting position. _Your theme for this year is supposed to be devotion. I’ve seen you devote yourself to your studies over the years and in the last weeks a renewed devotion for this sport. Over the weekend, I want you to think long and hard about what devotion means to you. The next time you skate your programs I want nothing else on your mind. I don’t care who or what you come up with but if you want to medal at the next competition you need to do more than just push through your program._

As the music started, Yuuri felt euphoric. It felt like his body was moving of its own accord as he let his emotions take over the skate completely.

He remembered the first time he watched the Junior World Championships with Yuuko and Takeshi, dreaming about qualifying one day.

How it felt falling hundreds of times trying to do a single axle and how his rink mates applauded him when he finally landed it.

He remembered his first competition. His parents had closed the inn so they could attend, cheering for him long before anyone else did.

How the kids at school had laughed at him in gym class when his arms and legs were full of scrapes and bruises from falling on the ice.

He remembered how terrified he was to tell Minako that he was going to quit ballet to focus on skating and how her face lit up at the news.

The hours upon hours he spent at the rink alone to clear his mind when nothing else would do the trick.

He remembered the day Celestino approached him and asked if he wanted to train with him in Detroit.

How on the first night in Detroit, he had cried for hours because he knew that the decision to move was best for his figure skating career but the worst for his family.

He remembered all the sacrifices his loved ones had made to support him and all the decisions he’d made up until this point.

He thought of Phichit, how living with him had saved him from the loneliness he felt and how his friend filled his life with laughter and joy.

He felt so much all at once that he couldn’t concentrate on what he was doing, and it was over before he could process what had happened.

At first, the arena was silent.

The silence seemed to go on forever, before finally erupting into a thunderous applause. Yuuri collapsed, feeling completely drained. He wasn’t sure, but he felt like he was laughing, crying, and trembling, all at the same time.

On shaking legs, he got up and made his way to where his coach was waiting for him, avoiding the tokens that littered the ice. Celestino hugged him tightly the moment he stepped off the ice, and handed him his skate guards. Laughing, he clapped Yuuri on the back as he told him how amazing he did and how proud he was, but Yuuri couldn't hear him clearly. Everything sounding muffled and unclear. 

Yuuri missed his mouth as he tried to take a sip from his water bottle in the kiss and cry. As he waited for his scores, the next skater took the ice. Seung-gil Lee had a great program from what Yuuri remembered, and good music to accompany the edgy routine.

When he saw his score, Yuuri felt his heart stop. It was high.

Incredibly high.

The score blew his personal best out of the water, and if Yuuri remembered correctly, it was extremely close to breaking the current world record.   Celestino had his arm around Yuuri’s shoulder and looked to Yuuri with so much pride that Yuuri thought his heart might burst. The audience was cheering so loud it was making his ears hurt.

All of a sudden, Phichit was behind him, demanding his attention. The moment he spun around he was engulfed in another hug as Phichit squeezed the rest of the air from his lungs. “Phichit, let go, I can’t breathe!”

Phichit’s grip tightened. “I don’t even want to skate anymore! They should just call the competition now and hand you the gold. That was amazing!”

“You’re up soon, you have to skate." Yuuri’s tongue felt heavy as he spoke the words. His body was still tingling from the adrenaline.

“How can I, after a performance like that! Where the hell did that program come from? It looked nothing like the routine you’ve practiced all year.”

"I know it looks that way, but that was his _original_ routine for this season.” Celestino quipped from behind them as he ushered them to move out of the kiss and cry. “He finally skated it to its full potential like I knew he could.” Yuuri turned his head to look back at his coach. He felt the pride washing off of him in waves.

Seung-gil’s music ended, and all three of them stopped walking to look towards the ice. “Phichit, you need to focus on yourself right now. You’re next after Leo. Yuuri, you should head backstage.”

Phichit gave Yuuri another tight hug as Yuuri wished him luck. “Thanks! I’m going to need it if I’m going to beat you!”  

Just as Yuuri was about to leave to make his way backstage, Celestino grabbed his arm. “Whatever you were thinking about out there, don’t forget it! If you skate tomorrow as you did just now, you have an excellent chance of winning gold."

"You think so?" Yuuri tried to do the math in his head. His free skate was decent, but it didn’t have as high a base score as the other competitors in his tier.

“Don’t underestimate yourself. I can see the doubt in your eyes. I need to be with Phichit right now, but don’t overthink it.”

“Okay, I’ll try not to.” With a nod, Celestino jogged to catch up with Phichit as Yuuri made his way backstage. A few of the skaters congratulated him as he made his way towards his bag to grab his phone. Yuuri had a missed call from Yuuko and a couple of texts from his family and Victor.

The triplets answered on the first ring, yelling over each other to tell Yuuri how amazing he did. In the background, he could hear Yuuko screaming at them to calm down while also offering her own praises. It took a few minutes, but Yuuko managed to wrestle the phone away from the girls and quiet them down so she could talk to Yuuri.

“I’m sorry about that, the girls begged us to take them today, but Takeshi and I had to work. We were all watching your programs from the locker rooms like old times. You were fantastic today, Yuuri! We’re all so proud of you!”

“That’s okay,” Yuuri choked out over the lump in his throat. “It means a lot that you guys were watching.”

“Of course! We’re your biggest fans!”

“I know you are – from day one, you and Takeshi were some of my biggest supporters. All of you mean so much to me. I miss you so much.” Yuuri spoke from his heart, knowing the success of performance today had a lot to do with the Madonna of Ice Castle Hasetsu.

“Don’t talk like that.” Although Yuuri couldn’t see her face, he knew Yuuko was close to tears. "I wanted to surprise you, but we're all going to Osaka tomorrow to watch your free skate! Takeshi’s cousin lives in the area and offered to let us spend the night. The girls are so excited!”

Yuuri felt his heart clench, “Are you serious?” He hadn’t seen the triplets in person since their first birthday.

“Yeah! The girls were tired of watching their uncle through the TV or over video chat and Takeshi and I agreed. Minako’s made dinner reservations for us all after the competition. Sorry to ruin the surprise, but I can’t wait to see you!”  

Yuuri remembered Minako mentioning she had a surprise for him after the competition, but he never expected this. Yuuri wiped the tears that were forming in his eyes, and managed to reply, “Me too.”

* * *

“Forget the coffee and get in here!” Victor yelled at Chris from the couch. “They’re starting!”

After watching Yuuri’s performance the day before, Victor had a new appreciation for figure skating. Seeing his brother and Chris skate for years meant Victor at least had a basic understanding of the sport and how the scores worked. Yakov had also given him a few lessons before he left for school, so Victor knew how difficult it was to pull off the kind of performance Yuuri did. It looked as if his body was producing the music, completely entrancing Victor throughout the performance.

When Yuuri had called him at the end of the competition asking if Victor saw his performance, Victor gushed over how beautiful his skating was and congratulated him on ending in first place. Yuuri had explained how the result of the first day didn't matter, that anything could change after the free skate.

"Calm down. It's way too early for you to be this excited.” Chris yawned as he brought over to mugs of steaming black coffee. “Why couldn’t Four Continents be in our time zone this year?”

Victor shrugged as he grabbed one of the mugs from Chris' hand and took a small sip. “Do you think Yuuri’s going to win?”

Chris looked hesitant, “Do you want my honest opinion?”

“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you yelled at the commentators yesterday for saying that Yuuri looked unstable during his warm up.”

Victor huffed, “I didn’t like their tone. It was as if they decided Yuuri was going to do poorly before he even had the chance to skate!”

Chris laughed, “Honestly, I thought the same. Yuuri hasn't been doing great this season, and he looked nervous. I don't know what changed, but I've seen Yuuri crack under pressure a few times now. He's a fantastic skater when his performance anxiety doesn't cripple him. I’m worried today he’s going to let the pressure of winning get to him.”

“I talked to him before I went to bed and he seemed fine.” Victor was overcome with the need to defend Yuuri. Even though Chris had seen Yuuri skate more than he had, Victor was sure Yuuri could do it.

Chris grinned, “We’ll have to see, then.” They watched the other competitors together. Since Yuuri came in first the day before, he’d be skating last.  

"Phichit's at least guaranteed bronze," Chris remarked as Phichit’s scores were announced. His programs both days were lively and upbeat, matching Phichit’s personality perfectly. The Thai skater was currently in first place with only Yuuri and one other skater to take the ice.

“That’s amazing!" Victor commented as the camera zoomed in on Phichit’s face. “The Canadian’s next right?” For the life of him, Victor couldn’t remember his name. _DJ? AJ? Maybe TJ?_

“He’s a cocky bastard.” Chris looked irritated as the Canadian took the ice. “He used to have the same coach as Yuuri and Phichit a few years back.”

“Oh really? He must be from Québec with a name like Jean-Jacques.” Victor observed after the announcer called his name.

“I don’t know, probably.” Chris sunk deeper into the couch. “The guy jumped from coach to coach for a few seasons because none of them agreed with his views on skating. He calls it _JJ style_ , and he’s totally full of himself.”

“Don’t you sound bitter,” Victor laughed as he took in his friend’s expression. “Is this the guy that took the gold from you earlier in the season?”

Chris gave Victor a pointed glare, “He may have won gold at the Grand Prix, but I’ll take gold from him at World’s in his home country, where it will hurt the most.”

“Careful, Chris, your eyes look greener than they usually are.” JJ's performance started, but Victor wasn't paying attention. “Would Yuuri be competing at World’s too?”

“I’m sure he will,” Chris continued to sulk, but his focus went back to the TV. “You should come with us. The competition is just before the last week of classes, and I'm sure your students would appreciate the time off."

Victor took out his phone and pulled up his lesson plans. “I’d have to rework some things, but I might be able to do it.”

Chris nodded, but his attention was glued to the TV as JJ’s music reached its crescendo. Victor watched as the Canadian finished his program with a smug look on his face. The cameras were still focused on JJ as the skater made his way to the kiss and cry to receive his scores. “Finally! It’s Yuuri’s turn!”

 “JJ’s score will be high.” Chris sounded disappointed, “Yuuri will have to do better than he did yesterday to beat him.”

When the scores were announced, Victor took in Chris' shocked expression. “Jean-Jacque Leroy’s score is 221.73! That’s a new world record for the men’s single free skate by an impressive margin!”

Chris stood, swearing colorfully in French as he paced the length of the couch. “That was my record he just broke!” Chris yelled when he finally stopped cursing. “I hope Yuuri crushes him!”

Victor was shocked. He’d never seen Chris so upset. Victor was so distracted by Chris’ outburst that he missed how nervous Yuuri looked when the cameras zoomed in on him. When the music started, both Chris and Victor turned their attention to the screen and held their breaths as they watched Yuuri skate. The music was a beautiful opera piece, and Yuuri’s costume made him look like a prince. It took Victor's breath away, the blue and silver fabric sparkling as he moved.

Yuuri jumped, and Victor tried to count the spins before he landed. It all looked like a blur to him, but Chris clucked his tongue next to him. "That was supposed to be a quad, but he made it a triple."

“How can you tell?” Chris shushed him and Victor wondered why Chris could talk but he couldn’t.

Yuuri continued to spin and glide across the ice, but his skating was different from the day before. His body looked stiff, and his expression looked like he was concentrating too hard on what he was doing. 

As Yuuri prepared for another jump, Chris tensed beside him. When he landed the jump, Chris shouted his approval as the commentators echoed his praise. As the program went on, Yuuri looked more relaxed until his hand touched the ice halfway through the performance. Chris screamed for Yuuri to shake it off as if Yuuri could somehow hear him through the screen.

Yuuri pushed on, but his movements continued to look tense. When the music stopped, Victor clapped and cheered along with the audience. “That was good, right?” Victor asked Chris.

Chris nodded but didn’t look away from the screen as he bit his thumbnail. Yuuri made his way to the kiss and cry, and when he sat down, Victor got a good look at his face. He looked disappointed as his coach patted him on the back. Victor could hardly pick up Yuuri’s coach's voice, saying something along the lines of ‘you did great' or ‘that was great’. The announcer read off the score and Chris grabbed a pillow from the couch and chucked it at the screen. "Come on! They underscored him by at least two points!”

Victor ignored him as he strained to hear the results. The screen switched from Yuuri’s reaction to the final scores, showing that Yuuri had placed second.

* * *

After the medal ceremony finished, Yuuri excused himself so he could call Victor. He knew everyone would be waiting for him to celebrate and catch up, so he wanted to talk to Victor before his friends bombarded him. 

“Yuuri! Congratulations!” Victor's enthusiasm was evident as he answered after the first ring.

“Thanks, I’m guessing you were watching?”

Victor laughed, “Of course I was. Chris and I both were on the edge of our seats.” Yuuri heard Chris’ muffed congratulations in the background. “How do you feel?”

"I'm just glad it's over," Yuuri answered honestly. After he saw JJ's scores, he was afraid he'd screw up, ruining his chances of medaling. “Silver’s okay.”

Victor sucked in a breath, exuding sarcasm. “Yuuri, are you trying to tell me something?”

“No,” Yuuri laughed hard as the remaining tension in his body finally relaxed. “I guess if silver is good enough for your hair, it’s good enough for me. Especially now that I know it’s your natural colour.”

“Of course it's natural. Did you doubt me?”

“A little,” Yuuri confessed. “If I hadn’t seen you naked I’d probably still question it.”

Victor laughed, "You know, it's not fair that you got to see me totally naked before I got to see you. At least we'll get to even the playing field on Monday!"

“What do you mean?” Yuuri felt his face flush.

“Monday’s the first nude studio class!” Victor sounded happy, but Yuuri felt his stomach drop.

"Crap! I forgot about that!"

“Don’t sound so nervous,” Victor responded almost immediately. "It's not that different from what you've already done."

“It’s totally different!” With the stress of Four Continents’ looming over him, Yuuri had forgotten about his plan to prepare himself for posing nude. “I haven’t even thought about what pose to do.”

“It doesn’t have to be anything complicated.” Victor’s voice was soothing, calming Yuuri a fraction. “We can discuss it once you’re back in Detroit, but for now enjoy your success with your friends that came to see you.”

Yuuri nodded, even though he knew Victor couldn’t see him. “Okay.”

“I can’t wait to see you.” Yuuri could hear the smile in Victor's voice, making his lips pull up at the corners. 

“You can’t wait to see me – or you can’t wait to see me naked?”

“Both,” Victor chuckled as his voice got incredibly low. “Though having you completely naked in front of me without being able to touch you will be torture.”

Yuuri groaned at the thought of Victor looking at him naked. “Think the students would notice if you joined me in the closet to change?”

“Probably,” Victor sounded disappointed.

Yuuri was about to ask if Victor would be free after his practice to meet up when Victor added, “Although no one would question it if you followed me to my office after class.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may have taken an extra couple chapters but here's 4C's! Any guesses on where Victor's planning on taking Yuuri for Valentine's day?
> 
> Thank you to all of you that suggested music for this chapter! I decided to keep things vague in the chapter but for Yuuri's short program the song can be found [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CG6I2qz_54c), and his free skate was to [stammi vicino](https://soundcloud.com/user-985807580/duetto-stammi-vicinonon-te-ne-andare) (which I can't find a link for on youtube!) I loved listening to all the songs you guy suggested and I listened to them while writing this chapter! 
> 
> Last week I posted a new story called [Pick Your Posion](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15102809/chapters/35019644), which will be updated when I need a break from this story. It's a mafia/hitman AU - take a read if that tickles your fancy.


	15. Eyes on Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“Our love douses us in flames. It's terrible and deep and wingless, but I'll burn here if you burn here too.”_  
>  ― Nadège Richards, 5 Miles __

He was going to be late.

His lungs burned as Yuuri ran up the front steps of arts building, willing his legs to move faster. The bus ride over had been packed with students all pushing and shoving to get off the moment the doors opened onto campus. Yuuri’s head still throbbed where he had wacked it on the pole in his haste to exit the bus with the masses. The skin felt raised and hot, and Yuuri was sure it would bruise.

Thanks to his jet-lagged brain, Yuuri forgot to reset his phone alarm and had woken up way later than he’d planned to. His body was still adjusting to the time difference and not eating breakfast was doing nothing to settle his stomach. On his way out the door, Yuuri had grabbed a granola bar and hoped it would be enough to tide him over until his lunch with Victor.

They'd only been apart a week, but Yuuri _missed_ Victor. The way his silver hair glinted as the light hit it. The touch of his slightly calloused hands on his own. The feel of Victor's soft plump lips as they caressed his with silent desire. They had only shared a few brief moments together before Yuuri left for Japan, but it was enough for Yuuri to get addicted.

Every time Yuuri thought about their lunch plans, he couldn’t help imagining all the ways they could make up for their week apart. Victor had been teasing him mercilessly over text in the last few days, fueling his desire to a point to sheer desperation. 

A voice yelled at Yuuri to slow down while another told him to watch where he was going as he weaved through the crowd. Yuuri threw an apology over his shoulder, racing down the hall towards the stairwell. He could feel the sweat collecting on his brow but did nothing to wipe it away, focusing all his attention on not falling down the stairs. He was desperate to get to the studio where he’d finally get to see Victor.

* * *

He was going to be naked.

Sure, Victor had seen most of Yuuri’s deliciously toned body in previous classes, but this was going to be different. It was hard enough to concentrate on leading his class with Yuuri semi-naked in front of him – now it was going to be close to impossible. He'd have to endure this class somehow and act professionally until they could make it back to his office.

Victor didn’t think he’d be so turned on by the idea of them fooling around in his office, but his blood had boiled with want ever since he’d made the suggestion. The fact that Yuuri agreed was a blessing and Victor made sure his office was stocked with anything they may need. It had been a long time since Victor had been intimate with anyone and to say he was anxious was an understatement.

Almost all of his students were seated and ready to start the class. Yuuri had assured him he'd only be a few minutes late, so Victor waited until the very last moment to start his spiel. “Good morning everyone and I hope you had a fantastic reading week!”

The door to the studio burst open to reveal a panting and thoroughly dishevelled Yuuri. His cheeks were flushed, his hair was windblown, and his glasses were slipping from the bridge of his nose. Victor felt his heart lurch at the sight of him. Somehow Yuuri got more beautiful every time Victor saw him. Most of the students turned to look towards the door as Victor gripped his desk for support.

“S-sorry I’m late.” Yuuri stammered, his eyes roaming the room. When their gaze met, Yuuri offered him a shy smile, which Victor returned in kind.

“You’re just on time!” Victor countered as he reluctantly looked away. “I was just about to remind the class that their research papers are due in three weeks. If anyone has any questions, please ask them now as Yuuri gets ready.”

Victor watched as Yuuri mouthed a thank you and rushed towards the closet to change. A few students raised their hands to ask basic questions about formatting and how to be granted an extension.

Then the closet door opened and Yuuri walked out in Victor's robe. “Any other questions?” With all the restraint he could muster, Victor refused to let his eyes linger on Yuuri as he joined him in the front of the class. Instead, he scanned the class hoping for another question to delay the inevitable.

When no one raised their hands, Victor turned to look at the handsome man beside him. Yuuri looked nervous, and Victor wanted to reassure him somehow. Victor gave an encouraging smile, hoping his eyes would portray his sentiments. “Whenever you’re ready we can begin.”

* * *

Yuuri’s doubts settled the moment he saw the look of pure adoration in Victor’s eyes. With shaking hands, Yuuri untied the knot and rested the robe on the floor by the cloth-covered chair next to him. As he took a seat, Yuuri did his best to pose in a way that felt natural, and that wasn't too uncomfortable to hold until the break. Victor walked towards the back of the class as the students began to draw.

After a moment, Yuuri realized that Victor was right. Posing completely nude really wasn't that different than the modelling he’d done in previous classes. As he began to relax into the chair, Yuuri thought he was managing quite well. If Minako could see him now, she’d be impressed.

That was until Yuuri looked at Victor.

He was standing at the back of the class where no one but Yuuri could see his face. Even though all eyes were on him, Yuuri felt Victor’s gaze like a brand, burning into his exposed skin. His eyes roamed Yuuri’s naked body with a mixture of wonder and yearning.

Where Victor’s stare lingered, Yuuri could feel his skin heat, as if Victor was caressing him with every movement of his eyes. Victor looked at Yuuri so tenderly that he managed to make him feel more precious and wanted than all the treasure in the world.

As Victor’s eyes continued their exploration of Yuuri’s body, Yuuri watched a kaleidoscope of emotions play across Victor’s face. He saw curiosity as Victor looked intensely at the scar on Yuuri’s left knee. Surprise at how Yuuri had arranged his pose. Admiration as he noticed the bruises that littered his body from a life on the ice. And, for a moment, Yuuri swore he saw love swimming in those cyan blue eyes.

No one had ever looked at Yuuri the way Victor was now. Like Yuuri was a masterpiece carved by the gods themselves. Victor was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t even seem to notice that Yuuri was looking at him.

It felt like hours had passed before Victor finally looked at Yuuri’s face. When he did, Yuuri watched his expression morph from one of awe to pure desire. Yuuri struggled to keep his own face blank as he watched Victor’s eyes darken and resume their analysis of Yuuri’s body.

This time, more than Victor’s expression told Yuuri just what Victor was thinking. His arms that had been crossed over his chest now slowly began to lower, his hands skimming across his toned stomach before stopping just above his belt buckle.

Yuuri’s grip on the armrest tightened as Victor ran his fingers along his own body, his hands mirroring his gaze as they began to explore Yuuri’s body once more. Yuuri wanted to look away and calm his breathing but couldn’t as Victor’s hands continued south. The moment Victor’s hand began to graze his growing arousal Yuuri felt his own cock ignite with interest.

His body was aching, desperate to close the distance between them. Victor seemed to notice the shift and offered him a wolfish grin in response. As if he knew exactly what he was doing to Yuuri. And that Yuuri could do nothing about it.

Victor was right, this was torture.

The only thing keeping Yuuri rooted to the chair was the room full of students watching him. That little reminder that they weren’t alone kept Yuuri’s control in check, but every second was a struggle. It seemed Victor could see that Yuuri was at his limit and dropped his hands, his eyes shining with devilment.  

Exhaling a small sigh of relief, Yuuri promised himself he'd get back at Victor in some way. Thankfully, the students seemed completely oblivious to their exchange as Yuuri looked away from Victor to scan the room.

For the rest of the class, Yuuri refused to look at Victor.

The time passed so slowly that Yuuri was sure the clock had to be broken. Occasionally, Victor would leave his spot at the back of the class to check on the student's work, and Yuuri clung to every whispered word. The sound of Victor's voice was intoxicating, fogging his already lust-filled brain. Each time he heard Victor's voice it became harder for Yuuri to focus on keeping still.

Yuuri could feel Victor looking at him as he paced the length of the classroom. Even though Yuuri wasn’t returning his gaze, he could feel the weight of Victor’s eyes like a burning sun.

If Victor looked at him any more intensely Yuuri was sure he’d catch fire and burn the building down. But at that moment, Yuuri didn’t care. The building could burn to ashes all around him and Yuuri wouldn’t notice. So long as Victor kept his eyes on him.

After what felt like an eternity, Victor made his way over to Yuuri and announced it was time for the break. Yuuri let out a long breath, more than thankful for the pause. His teeth hurt from clenching them so tightly.

Just as he was about to stand, Victor, gripped his shoulder, "Don't move, I need to mark you." With the hand that wasn't holding Yuuri's shoulder, Victor reached into his pocket and took out a small roll of electrical tape. Yuuri had forgotten that Victor would need to mark his pose and he quickly scanned the room, nervous that everyone would be watching.

Victor had his back to the majority of the students, and for the most part, none of them were paying any attention to them. Yuuri watched as Victor ripped the tape with his teeth, his grip firm on Yuuri’s shoulder.

Yuuri’s breathing hitched as he felt Victor’s hand on his thigh. His hands were warm as he marked where Yuuri’s hand had been resting on his leg. All the while, Victor’s eyes bore into his. 

Somehow, Yuuri managed to keep his body relaxed and his face neutral. But then Yuuri felt Victor's fingers skim over the curve of his thigh in a caress that made Yuuri shudder. Yuuri’s eyes snapped to Victor, wordlessly questioning what he was doing.

“Sorry,” Victor whispered, snapping his hands away. “I couldn't help it."

Yuuri missed his touch immediately and responded softly, “I didn’t say stop.”

Victor sucked in a breath as his eyes betrayed his poorly concealed desire. A long moment passed before either of them bothered to look away. Victor was first to recover as he finished his task quickly, pocketed the tape, and bent down to pick up the robe from the floor. “Put this back on before I do something we’ll both regret.”

Yuuri took the robe and put it on as he stood. He couldn't deny that their forbidden romance was a total turn on and Yuuri couldn’t wait to get Victor alone to pay him back for every torturous second.

Reluctantly, Yuuri left Victor’s side, needing the distance to recover his sanity. Seeking refuge in the back room, Yuuri opened his bag, took out his water bottle, and drained it in one long gulp.

* * *

When the class finally ended, Victor watched as Yuuri practically ran to change. Victor’s body was thrumming with excitement as he packed his bag and half-heartedly addressed the line of students that waited to speak with him.

This was the most alive Victor had felt in far, far too long.

With each passing day his joy grew, all thanks to the light that was Yuuri. The ever-present ache in his chest was far more manageable than it ever had been. Just having Yuuri near was enough and Victor prayed that Yuuri returned his sentiment.

When Yuuri stepped out of the back room, Victor dismissed the remaining students with the excuse that he had a meeting to attend. As he crossed the room, Victor swore everyone could hear his heart hammering in his chest.

Yuuri’s eyes burned with the same fire Victor felt as they all but ran towards the stairs. Neither of them spoke, both too focused on getting to Victor’s office.  

The only thing stopping them now from completely giving in to one another was the long hallway that lead to Victor’s office. The second floor of the LAB consisted mostly of faculty offices, and even though the hallways were empty, Victor didn't dare to touch Yuuri until they were inside. Beside him, Yuuri chuckled, "You seem eager."

Victor spared him a glance, slightly embarrassed at his failure to hide his excitement. Instead of responding, Victor jammed the key into the lock, threw the door open, and pulled Yuuri into the room. He didn’t bother to turn on the lights as he pushed Yuuri against the door and kissed him with everything he had.   

* * *

The kiss set him ablaze.

The first taste of Victor’s lips set Yuuri on fire all over again, burning him from the inside out with an inferno that put hell to shame. Now that he didn’t have to hold back, Yuuri poured all his pent-up lust into the kiss.

Melting into Victor’s embrace, Yuuri felt drunk on the taste of honey and ginger. Nothing compared to the searing euphoria of Victor’s lips on his.

Victor fumbled the lock closed before guiding them further into the office. Yuuri followed blindly, too focused on running his hands over every inch of Victor’s body that he could reach. Victor responded in kind, leaving trails of liquid fire in his wake. When Yuuri’s legs connected with Victor’s desk, Victor wrapped his arms around Yuuri’s waist and lifted him onto the desk.

“God, I missed you.” Victor breathed into Yuuri's neck as he trailed kisses along the exposed skin. “I’ve been dreaming of this moment since you left.”

Yuuri gripped the edge of the desk in an attempt to suppress the shiver that raced through him at Victor’s words and touch. The only thing keeping Yuuri from turning into a whimpering mess on the floor was his overwhelming desire to completely wreck Victor as payback for almost outing them in class.

“If you missed me so much, why don’t you show me?” Yuuri had never heard his voice sound so heated and he revelled in the responding shudder that went through Victor’s body. They were so close – bodies pressed together, their breath mingling – but it still wasn’t close enough. Yuuri dragged Victor’s face back to his in the same moment Victor gripped Yuuri’s thighs and hoisted him up on the desk. Victor leaned into the kiss and Yuuri dug his nails into Victor’s shoulders for balance. Victor hissed at the contact and bit Yuuri’s lower lip, earning him a moan.

Never before had Yuuri experienced such passion. Victor’s tongue was just as talented as his lips, leaving Yuuri breathless and struggling to pull air into his lungs. Yuuri had no choice but to pull away, breathing in deeply. Victor seemed completely unfazed, resuming his slow exploration of Yuuri’s neck, softly grazing his teeth along the column of his throat.

“More.” Yuuri gasped, uncaring of how needy he sounded, and reached for the hem of Victor’s shirt. Victor pulled away long enough for Yuuri to tug Victor’s polo over his head and toss it onto the floor.

"Now who's the eager one?" Victor kicked off his shoes as he stroked soft circles into Yuuri’s lower back.

“We don’t have much time,” Yuuri ripped off his own shirt, discarding it on top of Victor’s. “And I want you. Now.”

Victor’s eyes were shining as he dropped to his knees and whispered, “I want to taste you,” He looked up at Yuuri through his silver lashes and Yuuri nodded, words completely escaping him.

"I want to savour every inch of you." Victor began to unbutton Yuuri’s pants and slowly pulled down the zipper. Yuuri groaned as Victor's nose brushed Yuuri's inner thigh, silently requesting Yuuri to lift his hips.

“I want to – “

The sound of an infant crying filled the room, startling them both. Victor watched as Yuuri’s expression morphed from lust to concern. "Why does it sound like a baby is crying in the next room?"

“Bring your kid to work day?” Victor teased as he pressed a kiss to Yuuri’s knee. Yuuri grinned as Victor tugged on Yuuri’s pants, reminding him that Victor was on his knees in front of him, trying to get his pants off. The moment Yuuri’s cock sprung free from its confines, Victor’s eyes darkened, looking like a starved man beholding a feast.

It seemed Victor was still keen on torturing him, touching Yuuri everywhere but where he desired most. Every brush of Victor’s lips across his thighs and hips drove Yuuri mad.

Just as Yuuri was about to grab Victor’s hair by the roots and drag him to his groin, the crying got louder, breaking through Yuuri’s haze. If Victor noticed the change, he showed no signs of stopping his vexing attempt to make Yuuri come untouched.

“Should we do something?” Yuuri asked begrudgingly.

“What would we do?” Victor brushed his nose against Yuuri’s inner thigh. “Ask if they need a babysitter?”

“I guess not.” Yuuri smiled and ran his fingers through Victor's hair. “It just sounds like that baby’s in pain.”

Victor stood to rest his forehead against Yuuri’s, “How can you tell?”

“My best friend has triplets." Yuuri kissed the corner of Victor's mouth, then his cheek. “With three screaming infants, you learn fast what cry means what." Before Victor could respond, Yuuri kissed him again, tenderly, and Victor melted into the kiss.

Through the walls, Yuuri could hear Victor’s neighbour pleading with the baby to stop crying. He had no idea who the man was, but he sounded agitated and desperate. With a sigh, Yuuri looked at Victor, who seemed to be trying and failing to hide his disappointment.  “Then, are you good at calming screaming babies?”

* * *

Victor had never really considered having children.

When his brother was born, Victor saw first-hand how much work went into parenting. Since he was so much older than Yuri, Victor always teetered the balance between brotherly and parental figures. Although Victor loved his brother to pieces, he always thought helping raise Yuri would be more than enough for him.

That was until he watched Yuuri cradle Ned’s son on his shoulder as he skilfully soothed the fussy infant to sleep. Within a few minutes, Yuuri somehow managed to get Noah to stop crying and placed the sleeping baby in his car seat without waking him.

“Please teach me how you did that,” Ned implored. “Usually it takes both me and my wife forever to calm him when he gets like that. But you managed in no time!”

"That high-pitched cry often means gas pain," Yuuri explained, his eyes never leaving Noah’s peaceful face. “If burping him doesn't work, rest him on your shoulder as I did and rub his back until he calms down. How old is he?”

“Five weeks.” Ned slouched in his chair, “And it feels like we haven’t slept since.”

Yuuri laughed, “They’re only this tiny for so long. I can’t believe my best friend’s girls are six already.”

Yuuri’s stomach growled, reminding Victor that neither of them had eaten lunch yet. “We should probably eat something before we go back to class.” Victor offered as Ned thanked Yuuri again for calming Noah.

When they got back to Victor’s office, Victor got out the sandwiches he’d made and handed one to Yuuri. “You’re great with kids.”

Yuuri shrugged before taking a big bite of his sandwich, "I love kids."

“They seem to love you too.” Victor wanted to ask if Yuuri wanted children one day, but he couldn’t get the words out. He didn’t know if the question would send the wrong message, so instead Victor asked to hear more about Yuuri’s trip as they ate their lunch.

* * *

“You’re taking Friday off?” Phichit asked, startling Yuuri and causing him to drop the highlighter he’d been twirling in his fingers. Yuuri usually used the weekends to catch up on readings and assignments but now he only had one more night before Victor swept him away to god knows where.

“Yeah,” Yuuri turned his desk chair to face Phichit’s bed. “Victor’s kind of taking me somewhere this weekend for Valentine’s Day and asked that I take the day off.”

“What!” Phichit shot up, causing some the papers on his bed to fall on the floor. “And you’re just telling me now? How dare you!”

Yuuri hadn’t meant to keep Victor’s plans a secret from Phichit. But he hadn’t really had much time to update his friend on anything.

Since their office hook up ended in failure, Victor claimed he wanted them to wait until their trip before they attempt to take their relationship to the next level. Yuuri was ready to plead with him to reconsider, not wanting to wait the few more days, but refrained. Victor seemed disheartened and Yuuri chastised himself for suggesting they have their first time rushed in his office.

Even though the idea was still a total turn on, Yuuri agreed that a bed would be more comfortable than the hard wood of Victor’s desk.

“Where’s Victor taking you?” Phichit asked, snapping Yuuri’s attention back to his roommate.

“He won’t tell me.” Yuuri closed his textbook and made his way to Phichit’s bed. “He wants it to be a surprise.”

“That’s so romantic! Are you excited?” Phichit moved over so Yuuri could join him on the bed.

“I’m more nervous than excited,” Yuuri admitted. “How do I pack for a weekend I know nothing about?"

Phichit grinned, “Maybe I could ask him and pack for you?” 

“Or you could ask him and tell me where he’s taking me.”

“Not a chance!” Phichit laughed and plucked his phone out of his pocket. “You get back to your readings, and I'll call Victor."

When Phichit moved to stand, Yuuri grabbed his arm. “No! Stay so I can hear.”

“Forget it. Consider this your punishment for keeping this from me for so long.” Phichit wiggled out of Yuuri’s grip and stood. “Although since you cancelled on Friday, Celestino asked if I wanted the night off too.”

“Hey, I got you out of practice on a Friday night. You should be thanking me.”

“Fine, I’ll warn you if it’s something crazy that you’ll hate, but that’s all.” Phichit opened the door and walked out into the hallway, the door slamming behind him. Yuuri waited a few seconds before Phichit popped his head back in a moment later. “Can I have Victor’s number?”

* * *

On Valentine’s Day, Victor waited for Yuuri outside of the rink. His trunk and back seat were full of their luggage and Victor could barely contain his excitement as he watched Yuuri exit the building with Phichit.

Since the parking lot was empty and no one else was around, Victor deemed it safe to get out of the car and present Yuuri with a single long stem rose and a kiss on his cheek, “Hello, beautiful.” Yuuri blushed, matching the red rose in his hand. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Yuuri turned to Phichit and handed him his skating bag. “Do you mind taking this home for me?”

Phichit looked to Victor and back at Yuuri. “Um, maybe bring them with you. Just in case.”

“Why would I need them?” Yuuri gave Victor a quizzical look and Victor prayed his face didn’t give anything away.

“You won’t _need_ them,” Victor answered. “But bring them anyways.”

“Phichit’s already packed half my closet,” Yuuri huffed pointing to the car. “Are we going away for a month or for a weekend?” Victor had picked the skaters up before practice to load the car. While the boys went to practice, Victor had busied himself in his office with work until it was time to go.

“It’s a long weekend,” Phichit teased. “You kids have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Yuuri hugged his friend. “That’s a very short list of guidelines to follow.”

“Want a ride home?” Victor asked, feeling bad to leave Phichit behind.

“No, it’s okay,” Phichit replied. “I’m meeting up with a few people before we go to Chris’ party.” Victor felt bad he’d be missing Chris’ birthday. But when he’d explained his plans, Chris agreed wholeheartedly. “You have to get going if you’re going to catch your flight.”

Yuuri’s eyes lit up at the slip of information Phichit gave, which Victor assumed was intentional. “We’re going on a plane?”

"Maybe," Victor teased, winking at Phichit." The faster you get into the car, the faster you'll find out."

* * *

When Yuuri saw the exit for the airport, he knew Phichit wasn’t joking. “We’re really flying somewhere?”

Instead of answering, Victor pursed his lips and shrugged.

Yuuri gripped the armrest. “Come on, give me a little hint.” Victor gave Yuuri a knowing look before turning his attention back to the road. “We’re almost there. Just wait a few more minutes”

Victor pulled into the Park and Fly, and together they unloaded the car and waited for the valet to take them to their terminal.

"Can you tell me where we’re going now?” Yuuri tried again when Victor began to enter their information for their boarding passes at the kiosk.

“Fine,” Victor faked a disappointed sigh as he handed Yuuri their boarding passes as soon as they printed.

Yuuri eagerly grabbed the ticket, “New York?” Victor's eyes were shining as Yuuri's heart began to race.

“Surprise!” Victor shouted, causing a few people to glance in their direction.

“Why New York?” Yuuri didn’t allow himself to dream that Victor had planned to take him to New York just to see a musical. He’d mentioned he liked them in passing on their first date, but Broadway tickets were expensive.

“Oh, I don’t know.” Victor baited. “It’s a big romantic city with lots to do. I have every minute planned to make sure we explore all that we can while we're there." Victor began to walk towards security and Yuuri followed.

“Okay, but anything specific? You know, that required tickets?”

Yuuri didn’t want to ask outright in case Victor didn’t plan for them to see a show but it seemed Victor wouldn’t budge. “Almost every tour and museum requires some kind of admission, Yuuri.”

“So, then we're not going to a musical?"

Victor shook his head, and Yuuri hoped he didn't look disappointed.

“We’re going to three.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo sorry I've been away for a bit - things have been hectic. This month's pretty busy for me but I hope to have another chapter of this story and Pick Your Poison in a few weeks!
> 
> Special thanks to [rinablanket](https://rinablanket.tumblr.com/) for helping me edit this chapter! Couldn't have done it without you doll <3
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](http://dedicca.tumblr.com/) for update on my fics or come say hi! :)


	16. New York, I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After months of struggling with this chapter, I give you the New York trip. <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _And I'm gonna make a brand new start of it in old New York_  
>  _And if I can make it there, I'm gonna make it anywhere_  
>  _It's up to you, New York, New York_  
>  \- [Frank Sinatra, Theme From New York New York](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_srVEAP-WM)

"Three!?"

Victor couldn’t help but smile at the look of excitement that danced across Yuuri's face.

"We're going to see _three_ musicals?"

He nodded, Yuuri’s pure joy warming Victor to his core. Yuuri, clearly echoing the sentiment, shot forward and wrapped his arms around Victor’s neck.

“Did Phichit tell you that I’ve always wanted to go to New York City?” Yuuri asked, his words muffled as he burrowed into Victor’s chest.

“No,” Victor chuckled, returning Yuuri’s embrace easily. “But considering how much you love musicals, I figured it’d be the perfect place for our first trip together.”

Yuuri hugged Victor tighter. “I don’t even know what to say." 

“You don’t need to say anything.” Victor smiled into Yuuri’s hair, taking in the scent of his shampoo. He knew he had organized the perfect weekend. When Victor had told Phichit his plans, Phichit had confirmed that Yuuri would love everything. Victor was meticulous with every little detail, so as long as they followed his plan perfectly, this would be the best weekend of their lives.

* * *

The closer the plane got to New York City, the more jittery Yuuri became. When they’d first taken off, excitement had poured through Yuuri like a livewire. But after the initial shock wore off, Yuuri began to feel more than a little nervous. This would be the most alone time he and Victor had ever spent together since they’d started dating.  

As soon as they had agreed to be a couple, Yuuri had felt the weight of their secret relationship. Every time he got a text from Victor in public or their eyes met in class, Yuuri was nervous someone would figure them out. How could they not? Victor didn’t exactly hide his lustful glances, and Yuuri was finding it increasingly difficult to hide his own.  

In reality, neither Yuuri nor Victor would get in any serious trouble from the school if they were caught. Yuuri had triple checked the school's code of conduct weeks ago to make sure. Still, that didn't stop Yuuri from worrying.

This was Yuuri's last semester before graduation, and he wanted it to be as stress-free as possible. After Yuuri graduated, he wouldn't care if people found out they were together. But for now, keeping their relationship a secret was less complicated, even though it made Yuuri uneasy. Victor made Yuuri feel things he'd never felt before, and he didn’t want to hide it from people anymore. 

This trip not only offered them the opportunity to get closer, it also provided them a short reprieve from the worry of getting caught. Yuuri decided he wanted to use this weekend to simply enjoy being with Victor. The more Yuuri thought about the trip, the more he felt like this weekend would be a true test of their relationship.

Yuuri knew he had strong feelings for Victor, but he thought it was too soon to label those feelings as love. Besides, he wasn’t sure exactly how Victor felt about him. As smitten as Victor seemed, Yuuri wanted to be certain his feelings were reciprocated before he made any strong declarations. He hoped things would be clearer by the end of the weekend.

“Ladies and gentlemen, in just a few minutes we will begin our descent. Flight attendants, please prepare for landing."

With a smile, Yuuri adjusted his seat and peered out the window. Thousands of twinkling lights stared back at him; the view from above never ceased to amaze him. 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Victor asked as he put away the book he’d been reading. For most of the flight, Victor had been quiet. Occasionally he'd leaned over for a kiss or to hold Yuuri’s hand, and Yuuri treasured each gesture. Being able to be affectionate in public was more than a little exhilarating. “I’m so excited to spend an entire weekend together. Just the two of us.”

At that moment, Victor was staring at him with so much tenderness it made Yuuri fall for him a little harder. He knew he’d do just about anything to keep that look in Victor’s eyes. A look that made Victor glow and Yuuri feel all tingly inside. 

“Yeah, me too.”

* * *

From the moment the taxi pulled away from the airport and into the city, Victor watched Yuuri’s expression morph from one of anticipation to pure wonder.

“Victor, I think I’m in love.”

Victor’s heart stopped dead in his chest, until he realized Yuuri wasn’t referring to him. Yuuri’s eyes were luminous, shining brighter than the lights of the city around them. “Bringing me here was a bad idea. I never want to leave New York!”

Victor laughed, pushing down his disappointment. Of course Yuuri didn't love him. Not yet at least. But if this weekend went as Victor planned, it would be impossible for Yuuri not to fall for him completely. “What do you love about it, lyubov moya? You’ve barely seen any of it.”

“I don’t know how to explain it.” Yuuri tore his gaze from the window to look at Victor. “I’ve travelled a lot for competitions, but I’ve never felt this way about a city before. It just feels _right_. Like I belong here or something.”

Since Yuuri had mentioned he might leave Detroit after graduation, Victor had been thinking seriously about what he wanted for the future. The more time Victor spent with Yuuri, the more he knew that he wanted to follow this man wherever he went. Even though what they had was still new, Victor really wanted things to work between them. He'd never felt so much for a person, and he wanted to hold onto that feeling for as long as possible. “I wouldn’t be opposed to living here.”

“It’d be a like a dream.” Yuuri nestled into Victor’s shoulder to stifle a yawn. “What time is it?”

“It’s late.” Victor looked at his watch to see it was just before midnight. “Valentine’s Day is almost over.”

Yuuri pressed a kiss into Victor’s collarbone. "Thank you for bringing me here, lyubov moya. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Surprised at hearing the Russian endearment roll off of Yuuri’s tongue, Victor took a minute to respond. Maybe it was a trick of the light, but Victor saw all the love he felt in that moment echoed in Yuuri’s gaze. “Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.”

* * *

“What do you mean you gave away our room? It was already paid for!” Victor was ready to throttle the receptionist. Considering how late it was, he was surprised to arrive to a long line of people waiting to be checked in. Yuuri looked dead on his feet, so Victor had convinced him to remain in the lounge with the luggage while he got their room key. He was glad Yuuri wasn’t here to witness him lose his cool.

"I'm so sorry, sir, but it looks like we accidentally checked in another guest with a similar name under your booking. We'll happily rectify the situation in the morning and reimburse you the difference, but right now it's too late to make the switch." In the woman's defence, she looked apologetic. "We have our Petite room with one double bed available or our Superior room with two twin beds. Which would you prefer?”

Victor had booked a luxury suite with a three-piece kitchen, a jacuzzi tub, and a king size bed. He’d planned to wake up early every morning to make Yuuri breakfast in bed, and at night, if Yuuri was willing, soak together in the tub. 

Yuuri had talked about his parents’ hot springs enough times that Victor assumed a bath together in a large tub would be the perfect romantic gesture. Victor had even packed a bunch of different bath salts, essential oils, and rose petals to add to the water. He’d planned on offering to draw Yuuri a bath to relax the moment they arrived.

Now, all his plans were ruined.

The woman was still waiting for a response, but Victor was too lost in thought, grieving the loss of his perfect plan. 

“Might I suggest the Superior room? I think it would be the most comfortable option for tonight.” The receptionist advised, eyeing the line behind Victor.

“Fine,” Victor sighed, and the receptionist’s shoulders relaxed in relief.

It took the receptionist only a few moments to complete the check-in and hand Victor their key cards. "Thank you for understanding, and I hope you have a wonderful night."

* * *

The hotel Victor had booked for them was just outside of Times Square and within walking distance to all the Broadway theatres. As Yuuri waited for Victor to check in, he watched the TV screens in the hotel lobby display a loop of all the productions playing near the hotel.

Advertisements for Showboat, Miss Saigon, Love Never Dies, The Lion King, Chicago, Wicked, and Rent flashed on the screen, making Yuuri wonder what tickets Victor had snagged for them. Yuuri was dying to find out, but he didn't want to ruin the surprise. Victor had made it clear that he wasn't going to let anything else slip about the trip and Yuuri would find out as they went along.  

Although his mind was racing, Yuuri was beginning to feel the exhaustion from the day weigh him down. In hindsight, leaving for the airport right after practice may not have been the best idea. Celestino had pushed him extra hard all week to make up for the day Yuuri would be missing and today was no exception. All he wanted to do now was go to bed.

Yuuri watched as Victor made his way towards where Yuuri was sitting. Even though Victor was still smiling, Yuuri could tell something was off. His usual care-free smile now seemed forced, and it was clear Victor was tense. 

“Is everything alright?” Yuuri asked as soon as Victor was close enough. 

“Umm, not exactly.” The fake cheer left Victor’s expression and morphed to uneasiness.

“What happened?”

“Victor Nicholson happened.” Victor crossed his arms and frowned like a child that had just been told he couldn’t have a cookie before dinner.

“I’m sorry, who?” Although Yuuri wanted to take Victor seriously, the pout on Victor’s lips was too adorable not to squeak out a laugh.

“Somehow, someone made a mistake, and they gave our room away to someone named Victor Nicholson. They said they'll fix the issue in the morning, but for now, they gave us another room."

“Oh, that’s not that bad.” Yuuri tried to sound optimistic as he stood. “At least we’re not without a bed. Let’s just get some sleep.”

With a nod, they grabbed their bags and headed toward the elevator. "We're room 413," Victor announced as the elevator doors pinged open. "Thirteen is an unlucky number."

“It’s just for one night, Victor. Don’t let this sour your mood.” Yuuri looped his arm around Victor’s as they stepped into the elevator. "We're in New York City! I can’t wait to see what you have planned for us.”

“You’re right.” To Yuuri’s relief, Victor seemed to relax a bit. “It’s just one night. The rest of the trip will be perfect.”

Yuuri squeezed Victor’s arm a little tighter as he said, “I’m with you, so it’s already perfect.”

* * *

When they reached their door, Victor took out one of the key cards, unlocked the door, and flipped on the lights. The receptionist had called this their Superior room, but looking at it now, there was nothing superior about it.

“I didn’t know we were travelling back in time,” Yuuri laughed, motioning to the two single beds. “This room looks like it belongs in a 1930’s sitcom.”

“Apparently this was the best they had available.” Victor eyed the room warily.

There was nothing even remotely good about this room. The carpets were a gross burnt orange, and the blinds were the colour of dirty seafoam. When Victor had booked this hotel, he’d only browsed the suite rooms on their website. They had all looked sleek and modern with neutral tones and stylish layouts. This room, however, was the complete opposite. If Victor hadn’t been so disappointed, he probably would have been laughing along with Yuuri at how awful it was.

“Why don’t we push the beds together?” Yuuri asked, snapping Victor’s attention back to him. “If you move the nightstand, I’ll move the beds.”

“You’re brilliant.” Victor smiled and kicked himself for not coming up with the idea himself.

Yuuri began to take off his jacket while Victor unplugged the alarm clock and lamp so he could lift the nightstand. Victor knew it had been a while since he’d been to the gym, but he was still in decent shape. Lifting a small end table should be nothing. But to his embarrassment, when Victor bent to lift the table, it didn't budge. He tried again, and again, but the table wouldn’t move. 

“Want some help?” Yuuri asked, bringing Victor’s attention away from the nightstand.

“No, it’s okay. I got it." Victor tried to push the table away from the wall, but again, the damn thing wouldn't move. After two more tries, Victor realized something wasn’t right. "Um, Yuuri? Are you able to move the bed at all?"

Yuuri tried to push the bed, and again, the furniture didn’t budge. “Don’t tell me everything is screwed into the carpet?”

Yuuri crouched down to confirmed that, yes, all of the furniture in the room appeared to be bolted to the floor.

“I guess they really don’t want people rearranging the furniture?” Yuuri laughed as he flopped onto one of the beds. “It’s okay. It’s late anyway, and I'm sure we've got an early morning tomorrow."

Victor hoped Yuuri wasn’t mad. He didn’t look mad. Or sound mad. But he did look tired.

“Not too early. I know you’re used to getting up later than me.” Victor had planned to wake up extra early so he’d be able to grab groceries and make breakfast before Yuuri woke up. With the help of Google, he’d been able to find a twenty-four-hour market close to the hotel so he could pick up everything fresh. But without a kitchen to make breakfast, he had nothing. Yet another plan squashed. Screw Victor Nicholson. 

Victor wracked his brain, trying to figure out an alternate plan. Maybe there was a bakery close by? Fresh bagels weren’t what Victor had in mind for their first morning together, but it was better than nothing.

Victor didn’t realize Yuuri had moved until he was wrapping his arms around Victor’s waist. “You could get me up at the crack of dawn if you wished. But I would prefer it if we could sleep in a little. At least till eight.”

“I can work with that.” Victor returned Yuuri’s embrace, loving how easily Yuuri fit into his arms. “Come on, let’s get ready for bed.”

* * *

Yuuri was so giddy he couldn’t sleep.

He was in New York City. With Victor.

He couldn’t dream of a better trip if he tried. Everything just felt so right and natural between them. Sharing Victor's toothpaste. Charging their phones side by side on the nightstand. Watching with greedy eyes as his boyfriend stripped off his clothes from the day – that greed laced with disappointment as Victor climbed into the other tiny bed.

How could Yuuri sleep with a half-naked Victor only a few feet away?

They’d said goodnight, but Yuuri could tell Victor wasn’t asleep. Even though Yuuri couldn’t see him in the dark room, he could hear Victor tossing and turning. It was a little strange. The last time they'd shared a room, things had been so new between them. Yuuri had fallen asleep quickly and had woken up to an empty bed. Now, Yuuri wanted the chance to cuddle his boyfriend and fall asleep in his arms. 

He wasn’t sure if he should say anything since Victor had climbed into the other bed without hesitation after kissing Yuuri goodnight. It took a lot longer than he was proud of to gather his voice.

“Victor? Are you awake?” Yuuri whispered, just in case Victor actually was asleep.

“Yeah,” Victor whispered back, sounding just as alert as Yuuri felt. 

“Wanna cuddle?” Yuuri asked the question so quietly he wasn’t sure if Victor had heard him. But a moment later Yuuri heard Victor sit up.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure,” Yuuri laughed and pulled back the covers. “Get in here.” 

Victor got out of bed incredibly fast, and Yuuri kicked himself for not asking sooner. It was a tight fit, but as soon as Victor got under the covers, he wrapped himself tightly around Yuuri, cocooning them between the sheets.

“This is much better.” Victor yawned and nuzzled his cheek against Yuuri’s forehead.

“Sweet dreams,” Yuuri sighed, and let sleep take him.

* * *

“Have you decided what you’re going to order?” Victor asked as Yuuri stifled another yawn.

It was no secret that Yuuri wasn't a morning person. Usually, he'd dread waking up, snoozing his alarm as many times as he could before he had to get up. This morning, however, Victor had awoken him with tender kisses that made him want to stay in bed for an entirely different reason. 

“I probably should order something healthy, but those chocolate banana pancakes sound too good to pass up."

Victor laughed, and Yuuri was glad to see Victor was having a good time. He finally seemed relaxed as he browsed the menu. Before they'd left for breakfast, Victor had called down to the front desk to ask about their room switch. The receptionist had confirmed that they were working on it and as an apology for the mix up, the hotel had offered them a free breakfast at their five-star restaurant. She had assured them that their new room would be ready by the time they finished eating.

“They do sound good, but I doubt they’re as good as mine.”

“I don’t know,” Yuuri teased, loving the easy banter between them. “I guess I’ll have to order them to find out.”

“Are you ready to order?” The waitress asked, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. 

“Yes,” Victor and Yuuri spoke at the same time, making them both chuckle.

"He'll have the chocolate banana pancakes, and I'll have the western omelet.” Victor smiled up at the waitress and handed her his menu. 

"I'm sorry, but we just ran out of pancakes for this morning.” Yuuri watched Victor’s smile drop before the waitress turned her attention to Yuuri. “If you’re looking for something sweet, our French toast is very good.”

“Oh,” Yuuri scanned his menu again, looking for an alternative. “I don’t really like French toast. Do you recommend anything else?” 

“If you like omelets, my favourite is the egg white and spinach.”

 “I’ll have that then please." Yuuri handed the waitress his menu and she left to ring in their orders. 

“Are you sure that’s what you wanted?” Victor asked, his expression tense. Since arriving in New York, Victor had been acting strange. It felt like Victor was scrutinizing everything Yuuri did and he wasn’t sure why. Yuuri hoped it was nothing, that he was just over analyzing everything because of his own insecurities. But Yuuri couldn’t stop his mind from jumping to the worst conclusion.

“Yeah,” Yuuri grabbed his tea and took a sip. “Besides, I’m sure they couldn’t compare to your pancakes.”

A flash of annoyance sparked in Victor’s eyes before he seemed to get lost in thought. Yuuri wasn’t sure what to do. Victor grabbed his own coffee mug and sniffed the drink appreciatively.

“How’s the coffee?” Yuuri asked, hoping to snap Victor out of his mood.

“It’s pretty good.”

“Can I try it?”

Victor went to hand Yuuri his mug, but Yuuri leaned over the table and kissed him instead. Normally Yuuri hated coffee, but the taste of it on Victor’s lips was unlike anything Yuuri had experienced before. As they drew apart, Yuuri licked his lips with a smile. Perhaps he was beginning to like coffee after all.

* * *

“How the hell did you manage to get such amazing seats?” Yuuri asked as the attendant walked them to their row.

“They aren’t that great.” Victor had wanted seats closer to the stage, but considering he’d purchased their tickets only last week, they weren’t terrible. 

Yuuri's eyes sparkled as he took in the theatre around them. The walls were lined with gold paint and a mural of cherubs and flowers decorated the ceiling above. “I’d be content with just sitting on the aisle steps or standing in the back.” 

Victor chuckled, “I’m pretty sure that’s a fire hazard.” 

"Here you are, row J." The attendant smiled as she handed Yuuri and Victor their programs. "You're in seats 10 and 11, and emergency exits are to the right. Enjoy the show." 

"This theatre is gorgeous," Yuuri commented as they took their seats for their matinee show. “Are we really early? There’s like no one here yet.”

“We have about thirty minutes to kill,” Victor said, checking his watch. “There was still a decent amount of people lined up at the concession stands and merch tables. Do you want anything?”

"No," Yuuri laughed, patting his stomach. "I'm still so full from that food tour. I had no idea they even existed, but it's a neat way to see the city.”  

“Are you sure? What about something from–”

Yuuri cut him off with a kiss. "I want you to sit here and take a moment just to relax." 

There was a strange, almost pleading, look in Yuuri’s expression that made Victor pause. Were they doing too much? Was keeping everything a surprise a mistake? Maybe he should have asked Yuuri what he wanted to do _before_ he’d booked their trip.

The thought hadn't even crossed his mind until now. Victor had planned everything according to what he thought they'd like to do together. But he'd never considered what Yuuri truly wanted out of their trip together. Other than the shows, Victor hadn't been entirely sure of what Yuuri would love, so he'd guessed.

Maybe Victor's master plan had been doomed from the start. Before he could genuinely panic, Yuuri linked his arm through Victor's and gestured to an ad in the program. "Can you believe how many shows they have running at once? How did you possibly pick between them all?" 

“I may have had some help." Victor had read multiple reviews on all the shows available and picked the top three assuming Yuuri would like them. But now he was worried he'd picked the wrong ones. "Since we're here, you know we're seeing Rent, but what other two shows do you think we're seeing?"

Victor held his breath as Yuuri examined the list on the program. “I have no idea. They all look great.”

"Well, I hope you'll like them," Victor said, more to himself than Yuuri.

“I know I will.”

* * *

“Wow, Mama! That thing’s huge!” The little girl next to them shouted as she pointed to the whale above them. Yuuri had watched Night at the Museum on a flight home from a competition, but he’d never imagined he’d be touring the museum himself. Everything in the American Museum of Natural History was huge and, according to Victor, a great photo op. Victor wasted no time, insisting they take pictures with all the main exhibits, asking strangers to take their picture and snapping more than a few selfies.

"It seems like everything in this museum is huge," Victor commented, looking at the map in his hand. "Where did you want to go next?"

“Can we see the dinosaurs?" 

Yuuri felt like a little kid for asking, but Victor only smiled. “Sure! Let’s get a picture with the whale first!”

Just as Victor was about to take his phone out of his pocket, a group of teenage girls approached them. “Excuse me. Are you Yuuri Katsuki?”

Yuuri looked to Victor then back to the girls. “Yes?”

"Oh my god, I'm a big fan of yours!” One of the girls shouted enthusiastically. “I almost didn't recognize you with your glasses on, but wow I can't believe it! Congratulations on winning silver at Four Continents!”

“Oh, thank you.” Yuuri always felt awkward whenever a fan approached him in public. He never knew how to react and he often ended up making an ass of himself.

The girl handed her phone to one of her friends. “Can I get a picture with you? My rink mates won’t believe that I met you unless I bring proof!”

“Umm.” Yuuri looked to Victor, who nodded eagerly. “Sure.”

The girl squealed as she bolted forward to stand next to Yuuri. He watched as Victor took a few steps out of the way and the girl’s friends took pictures. It was clear Victor was trying hard not to laugh at Yuuri’s discomfort. 

After taking a few pictures, the girl took her phone back and showed Yuuri her cellphone. “Am I allowed to post these on Instagram? I know you’re a pretty private person, so I won’t be mad if you say no.”

“No that’s okay.” Yuuri looked to Victor before adding, “But since I’m here on vacation do you mind posting them after this weekend?”

“Yes of course!” The girl looked on the verge of tears as she thanked Yuuri and left with her friends.

“Does that happen often?” Victor inquired as they watched the girls disappear into the crowd. “I’ve been friends with Chris for years, but he’s never been approached by a fan.” 

"No, not really." The farther the girls got, the more relaxed Yuuri felt. He hadn’t realized he’d been so tense until Victor began to rub his back. "Sometimes when I'm in Japan for a competition I get recognized, but that's it.”

“I can’t believe I’m dating a celebrity,” Victor cooed. Yuuri poked him in the ribs. 

“You’re so not,” Yuuri laughed. “Now, which way to the dinosaurs?”

* * *

A light dusting of snow fell from the sky and covered the entire park in sparkling white. It was blindingly beautiful in the afternoon sun. And it was absolutely freezing. 

“Are you cold?” Victor asked as Yuuri cuddled closer to him.

“Just a little.” The mid-February air whirled around them, making them both shiver. He'd warned Yuuri to dress warmly, but neither of them had accounted for the windshield. Victor wrapped Yuuri a little tighter in the blanket the driver had handed them.

Taking Yuuri on a romantic ride around Central Park had seemed like a great idea when Victor had planned it. But now that they were actually here, Yuuri was shaking so hard there was no way he was enjoying himself. Victor felt awful.

“Want to stop? We can get some hot chocolate somewhere instead?” 

Yuuri gripped Victor's hand a little tighter and shook his head. “No, I’m fine. It’s not that cold.”

Victor gave him a pointed glare, and Yuuri laughed.

“Okay, it is freezing, but you can keep me warm.” Yuuri put his head on Victor’s shoulder and sighed. "Everything looks so pretty covered in snow.” 

“Yes.” Victor sighed. 

 “But you’re prettier.”

That had Victor cracking a smile. “Flatterer.”

Yuuri laughed, and it sounded like the tinkling bells on the horse’s reins. “This has been the most amazing trip so far. Thank you, Victor.”

“Now I know you’re just humouring me." Victor tried to hide his discontentment with a laugh.

"I mean it." Yuuri looked up at Victor, his brown eyes swimming with mirth. “Everything about this trip has been amazing. We could have just hung out at your place with a pizza, and it would have been the best Valentine's weekend." 

“So all this has been too much.” Victor gestured vaguely to the city around them, panic and regret rising in his throat.

“No,” Yuuri looked down at the blanket and began picking at a loose thread. “I’ve been having a great time.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course,” Yuuri met Victor's gaze. "But I don’t think you are.”

“I–” Victor was about to object, but the words wouldn’t come out. Instead of enjoying their weekend like he’d wanted, he’d spent almost all of their time together worrying about every little detail. Victor realized he hadn’t bothered to just savour the moment and take it all in. “I guess I haven’t been.”

“Did I do something to upset you?” Yuuri asked, his expression dropping. 

“No, not at all! I just really wanted our first Valentine’s day to be special.”

“It has been,” Yuuri insisted, linking their gloved hands together. “But I know something’s been bothering you.”

Victor looked down at their hands and sighed. “I just really wanted everything to be perfect, and so far nothing has really gone according to plan.” 

Yuuri’s eyes were warm as he met Victor’s gaze. “Everything we’ve done so far has been more than I could have ever hoped for. So what if it hasn’t been exactly as you planned? It _has_ been perfect, Victor. With you, it always will be.”

It wasn’t quite the love confession Victor had been hoping for, but it made his heartbeat pick up all the same. 

Yuuri continued, “We still have the rest of tonight and tomorrow away from the stresses of school and work. Let’s make sure we make the most of it.”

Then Yuuri kissed him. His cold lips were soft and sweet against Victor’s, melting away his lingering insecurities. As Victor deepened the kiss, he promised himself to stop trying to make their weekend perfect and to just enjoy his time with the man he loved.

* * *

“So, which did you like better, Rent or Wicked?” Victor asked before taking a sip of Shiraz. Usually, Victor preferred a full-bodied Cab Sauv with his steak, but the waiter had recommended the Australian bottle to go with both of their meals. He’d been torn between ordering the lamb and the filet mignon, but it had been Yuuri who suggested they order both and share. 

“I loved them both for different reasons!” Yuuri’s cheeks were rosy in the dim light of the restaurant. “The reprisal of I’ll Cover You made me cry but Defying Gravity gave me goosebumps. What did you think?” 

“Both were great! I hadn’t heard of either of them before getting the tickets, so I had no expectations. I only know of the show we’re seeing tomorrow, so I saved that one for last.”

“And are you going to tell me what show that is?” Yuuri bit his lip as he ran his foot along Victor's leg. “Maybe with the right motivation?”

Victor looked around the restaurant before leaning closer. “What did you have in mind?” 

“I think when the waiter arrives with our food we should request the bill and make use of that suite you fought so hard to get us.”

Victor would be lying if he said he hadn’t been hoping for their night to end in a tangle of limbs and bedsheets, but he’d been reluctant to bring it up. Now Victor could think of nothing else as Yuuri continued to play footsie with him under the table. "Don't you want to wait and see if we'll want dessert?"

Yuuri took a sip from his wine glass before offering Victor a wolfish grin. "Why would I want dessert when I have you?"

* * *

The buzz Yuuri was sporting had nothing to do with the wine at dinner and everything to do with Victor. Both of them rushed through their meals, which was a real shame since under different circumstances Yuuri would have savoured every bite. Their hotel was supposed to be a twenty-minute walk from the restaurant, but somehow in their haste, Yuuri and Victor managed to do it in ten.

The moment the door to the suite clicked shut, Victor was on him, untangling his scarf and showering his neck with kisses. Their clothes scattered across the room, haphazardly thrown on their way to the bedroom. Victor's fingers were ice cold on his flushed skin, but Yuuri didn't care. He'd been craving Victor's touch for weeks and nothing was going to interrupt them tonight. 

Victor gently guided Yuuri down onto the bed until there was no space between them. "God, you're perfect." Victor's breath tickled Yuuri's chest "If I didn't want you so badly, I'd make you hold this pose so I could draw you."

The way Victor looked at him never ceased to light a fire in Yuuri’s nerves. It made him feel warm and cherished. And loved. Neither of them had said the word yet, but Yuuri could feel it with every look and every touch. Yuuri had never met someone like Victor – someone he wanted to hold on to and never let go.

There was so much Yuuri wanted to say, but in that moment all Yuuri could think of was how badly he wanted Victor. Every caress and every kiss was driving Yuuri crazy with desire.  “Please.”

“Tell me what you want.” Victor purred as his tongue and lips explored every inch of Yuuri’s chest.

“Anything,” Yuuri rasped as his hands gripped the bedsheets. “I just want you.” 

Victor looked up and waited for Yuuri to meet his gaze. “You have me, lyubov moya. All of me.”

“Then make me yours.” Yuuri's rasped, biting back a moan as Victor eagerly began to do just that.

* * *

Yuuri's body ached in all the right places as the heat from the bathwater and the scent of lavender was slowly lulling him to sleep. He felt totally relaxed resting on Victor's chest in the huge tub. One of Victor's hands was in his while the other traced nonsense along Yuuri’s thigh. 

Everything felt perfect.

“I never want to leave this tub.” Victor declared, pressing a kiss to the back of Yuuri’s head.

Yuuri laughed, causing the water to ripple around them. “We’ll have to once the water gets cold.” 

“I’ll just fill it with more.”

Yuuri played along, “And what about food?”

"Room service," Victor replied as if the answer was obvious.

“One of us will have to get the door.”

“Hmm,” Victor mused, nuzzling into Yuuri’s neck. “I’ll pay extra for them to bring it here.”

“Oh okay.” Yuuri’s voice dripped sarcasm. “You’ll really be fine with the hotel staff seeing us naked?”

It was Victor’s turn to chuckle. “I don’t care. And all of my students have seen you naked, what’s a few more people?” 

Yuuri untangled himself and turned in the water, so his front rested on Victor's chest. The position wasn’t the most comfortable, but it allowed Yuuri to see Victor’s face and wrap his arms around his neck. “I can’t wait for those classes to be over. I only want you to sketch me.”

Victor’s eyes went wide before a tender smile graced his lips. “Will you model for me when we get back home?” 

“I can model for you now if you want." Yuuri craned his neck, and Victor closed the distance between their lips.

Victor pouted. “But then we’d have to leave the tub, and right now I just want to hold you.” 

Yuuri tried not to grin like a fool as he turned around and settled back into Victor’s embrace.

* * *

Yuuri had fallen asleep on Victor’s chest that night looking just as happy and pleased as Victor had felt. He’d spent what felt like hours running his fingers through Yuuri’s silky soft hair before sleep had finally claimed him too. Their evening together had been fantastic. It seemed the moment Victor stopped worrying about every little detail, the perfect weekend he’d imagined fell into place. He had been so tired and content that sleep had come easily.

The nightmare should have left him alone. 

But when Victor woke to Yuuri shaking him awake and the familiar terror from the dream crept into his bones, his worst fear became a reality. The way Yuuri looked at him now, all wide-eyed and spooked from sleep, was a sight Victor had never wanted to witness.

He wasn’t sure which one of them had clung to the other first, but Victor could feel Yuuri’s voice at his ear whispering calming words while he stroked the sweat-soaked hair away from Victor’s face. He wanted to snap himself out of his paralyzed state, but every time he tried to move or say something, his body ignored his wishes.

Eventually, Victor gave up trying to fight it and just let himself be held. Yuuri never once asked Victor if he was okay, nor did he asked Victor to explain. He merely held him close, wiped away his tears, and whispered sweet nothings in his ear. “ _It’s okay. I’m here. You’re safe.”_

Time passed and the terror of the dream slowly leeched its way out of Victor’s system. His muscles ached from being clenched so tightly and he felt light-headed from panting.

For the longest time, neither of them said a word. They just lay in bed, the room void of all sound except for their breathing. Victor was scared to speak, worried that if he opened his mouth now, he'd say something he'd regret.

Finally, Victor pulled away and saw Yuuri staring at him without judgment and with such compassion it made Victor want to cry all over again. But instead of tears, the words Victor had been so afraid of sharing began to tumble out of his mouth.

He told Yuuri everything. Stories from when he and Vera were children. The way his mother's smile used to light up a room. How his father wasn't his biological dad, but that he’d never cared because Dimitri had been the most loving and caring man Victor had ever known.

He told him about the accident and how Vera had died in his arms. What she’d said and how that memory is what had plagued his nightmares for years.

 _Promise me you'll be happy_.

He told him about the days that followed and about their funeral. How hard it had been to move again from Moscow to Saint Petersburg.

He told him how Yuri cried to him that he couldn’t remember them and how, even though it tore him apart, he memorialized his family on canvas for his brother.

It all came pouring out, and when he was done, that look, that beautiful and accepting look, never once left Yuuri’s face.  

As the sun began to rise, Victor finally stopped talking. Now that the secrets he’d kept hidden in his heart were out, he didn’t know what to expect. He’d known he would have to share this part of himself with Yuuri eventually, but he was hoping it would come out slowly and on his own terms. Instead, he’d laid it all out on the table, whipping open his closet and airing out his dirty laundry for Yuuri to see all at once. 

Somewhere in his rant, he had expressed his desire to share more of himself and his fears that Yuuri would leave him once he knew everything. How he’d understand if this was too much too soon, and that if Yuuri wanted to leave New York early, he'd arrange a flight.

In those few seconds before Yuuri spoke, Victor held his breath, terrified of what Yuuri would say. Victor could see the wheels turning in Yuuri's head. He looked perplexed, opening and closing his mouth a few times before finally settling on the words. "First, I want to say thank you. I'm sure that was extremely hard for you to share and I'm honoured you told me all that you did.”

Fingers found their way into Victor’s hair, massaging his scalp. “Second, I want to say that I don’t care if you think you are broken. Everyone has their scars, some visible, some not. How you’ve managed to live through such a traumatic event and still smile the way you do is mindboggling to me. 

“You are such an amazing, beautiful, talented person and nothing you say or do could change that in my mind. I want to continue to get to know you, _all of you_ , and I want you to know all of me _._ The good, the bad, and the ugly.” In that moment, Yuuri looked just as shy and as vulnerable as Victor felt. 

“I know you said you’re worried about the future and, to be honest, so am I. I can’t tell you what’s going to happen, but I promise that together we can figure it out. I _want_ to figure it out. Can we do that?”

Victor wasn’t sure if he actually said yes, but the way he threw his arms around Yuuri and held him close left no doubt.

* * *

“Do you need any help?” Yuuri asked as Victor attempted to tie his skates. When he had first moved in with Yakov and Lilia, his uncle had insisted Victor and Yuri take skating lessons. Victor had been decent enough, but he never had the love or the drive to continue. Now he wished he had.

It had been years since he stepped onto the ice and he really didn’t want to make a total fool of himself in front of Yuuri. At first, Victor thought that bringing Yuuri to the Rockefeller Center to end their trip would be romantic. Now, as he struggled to lace up his skates, he wasn’t so sure.  

Each time he did up the laces, he tied them too tight or too loose. Giving up, Victor dropped the laces he’d been fumbling with for the last five minutes and turned to Yuuri. “Yes please.”

Yuuri smiled and knelt down. “Have you been skating before?”

“Yes,” Victor stated, feeling his cheeks heat, “but it’s been a while.” 

“How long?” Yuuri asked, stifling a yawn. It had been an early morning for them both. Neither of them could fall back asleep after their talk, but they both wanted to make the most of their last day in New York together.

Victor watched a little enviously as Yuuri tied the rental skates with no effort. "Too long. My uncle taught me years ago. You might know him, actually. He's a figure skating coach." 

Yuuri looked up. “Maybe, what’s his name?”

“Yakov Feltsman.”

Yuuri gasped, his fingers halting mid-lace. “You’re related to Yakov Feltsman?!”

“Well, technically no.” Victor tried to think of how best to explain his relationship with his adoptive parents. He’d glazed over his aunt and uncle in his overview after the nightmare. “Lilia, Yakov’s wife, was best friends with my mother growing up. Since Lilia and my mother were like sisters, we just called her our aunt and when she married Yakov, my sister and I were their ring bearer and flower girl.”

“I’m sure you were both adorable.” Yuuri went back to lacing Victor’s skates, a soft smile on his lips.

“Yeah, we were.” They both looked at each other, unsure of what to say next.

“Not many people know that Yakov is Yuri’s adoptive dad.” Victor tried not to let his words bother him. It was Lilia and Yakov that raised Yuri, not their biological parents. As much as that fact hurt, it was the truth. His brother had only been four when they had been adopted, so Lilia and Yakov were the only parents Yuri really knew. It was about time Victor accepted that reality. If he wanted his family to stop walking on eggshells around him, he knew he had to let them know he was okay with the way things were. They’d always been so considerate of Victor’s feelings, but it was time to move on. “Yakov doesn’t want people to think he gives Yuri special treatment and Yuri insists Yakov pushes him harder for it.”

“I think Yakov pushes everyone.” Yuuri took off his skate guards and placed them in his bag. “I’ve never talked to him before, but I’ve seen him at a bunch of competitions. He kind of scares me.” 

Victor laughed. “Yeah, he kind of has that effect on people, but he's a softie. He taught me everything I know about skating so if I fall on my ass, we’ll blame him.”

“Yakov is an amazing coach.” Yuuri reached out for Victor’s hand and laced their fingers together. “Skaters dream to have him as their coach or to be accepted into his summer programs. If you’re bad, then I’m sure it has nothing to do with him.”

“Hey!” Victor drew his hand to his chest dramatically. “Are you trying to say I was a bad student? Cause if you are, you’re totally right.”

Yuuri’s laughter was infectious as he pulled Victor towards the ice. “I wasn’t, but why were you a bad student?”

"Well, before the car accident, ballet had been the most important thing in my life. I always drew and had small art projects here and there, but for my sister and mom, dance was everything. When they died, I didn't want to continue, but I found myself with way too much free time after school. I was in a pretty dark place.” Victor felt Yuuri squeeze his hand in silent support as they walked. "Both Lilia and Yakov worked crazy schedules so instead of staying alone in the house with Yuri, we'd go to the rink after school. Yakov insisted we take lessons, but it's been a while."

“Skating’s like riding a bike, you never really forget." Yuuri stepped onto the ice and waited for Victor to join him, their joined hands stretched. "You can lean on me, and I promise I won't let you fall."

An old promise echoed in Victor’s mind as he met Yuuri’s gaze, his brown eyes shining with every emotion Victor felt in himself.

_One day, you'll find someone to love more than me. I promise you, I'll make it happen somehow._

With a deep breath, Victor gripped Yuuri’s hand a little harder and stepped onto the ice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So its been a while and I'm sorry <3 For those of you who follow me on tumblr know this chapter has been a rollercoaster for me and a monster to edit. Now that it is done I can honestly say this version of chapter 16 was the best I came up with and I hope it was worth the wait. 
> 
> A million thank yous to my beta [rinablanket](https://rinablanket.tumblr.com/) for telling me my original version of this chapter was shit and for making me rewrite it. And rewrite it. And rewrite it again! I love you to the moon and back and then some. 
> 
> A million and one thank yous to [LittleDancer8](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleDancer8/pseuds/LittleDancer8) for the beautiful art for this chapter and for telling me this chapter was shit much nicer! :P You're amazing Cookie and I'm so thankful to call you my friend!! <3
> 
> And thank you to anyone still reading this fic <3 I've started chapter 17 and hope the wait won't be as long this time but with life who knows! 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](http://dedicca.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/Dedica6) for updates on my fics.
> 
> Check out my other YOI fics [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dedica).


	17. Full House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“A smile, like the poet's muse,_  
>  _Inspires passion in the lover's heart”_  
>  ― Alex Z. Moores, Living in Water

“Fuck,” Yuuri gasped, biting his lip.

“Sorry!” Victor chuckled, his grip on Yuuri loosening.

“No, don’t stop,” Yuuri whimpered. “It feels good, keep going.”

Victor smirked but said nothing as he continued.

Yuuri was convinced Victor’s hands were magic. The way his fingers pressed into Yuuri’s skin in just the right spots was out of this world. Sometimes Yuuri could catch the faint whiff of lavender still lingering on him the next day, and it always made him smile. But right now, the entire room smelled of the fragrant oil Victor was using. “Mm, that feels so good.”

“Are you sure?” Victor asked as Yuuri heard the cap on the oil pop open again. Yuuri nodded and squeezed his eyes tighter, preparing himself for the pain. “I can stop if this is too much.”

“No.” Yuuri opened one eye and tried to give Victor a reassuring smile. “Unless you want to stop.”

“I’ll be gentle.” Victor’s returning smile was so tender it made Yuuri’s heart flutter as he closed his eyes and melted into the couch.

“No, I can take it. Go as hard as you can.” Yuuri focused on schooling his expression so Victor wouldn’t worry. Yuuri needed this, and Victor knew it.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not!” Yuuri sat up a bit, his elbows digging into the couch. “Please.”

“Okay,” Victor exhaled, and his hands continued their previous venture.

“Harder,” Yuuri groaned, and Victor complied instantly. A jolt of pain and pleasure shot through Yuuri, and he couldn’t stop the groan from escaping his lips. “Yes, just like that.”

“You make the most delicious sounds.” Victor’s tone was teasing, but Yuuri could hear the heat behind it. “Should we move this upstairs?”

“Yes, please do," Chris shouted from the kitchen table. “Unless I can have a foot massage too. You know I skate just as much as Yuuri, and my feet could use the same attention!”

Yuuri opened his eyes and craned his neck to see Chris wiggling his toes in their direction. Victor’s after-practice foot massages were becoming a daily occurrence. With Worlds now only two weeks away, Yuuri was running himself ragged on the ice. When Yuuri wasn’t skating, he was in the library studying for midterms or doing research for his seminar papers. The only time he got to spend with Victor were the nights Victor would pick him up from practice and drag Yuuri to his place for a decent meal. After his belly was full of whatever wonderful feast Victor prepared for them, Victor would offer to rub Yuuri’s feet.

At first, Yuuri had turned down the offer. He was weird about people touching his feet since they were incredibly ticklish and because they didn’t look the greatest. His blisters had blisters, and his feet were scarred from years of skating and ballet. Then, after a particularly interesting romp in the sheets, Victor had massaged Yuuri's sore feet, and Yuuri was hooked. Now, Victor didn't even need to ask if Yuuri wanted a message. After dinner, they'd turn on the TV and watch something while Victor rubbed his feet.

In the last month, Yuuri had spent more nights at Victor’s than he had at his dorm. It had all started after their New York trip when Victor had asked Yuuri to spend the night at his place. Neither of them were quite ready to part ways after their weekend together and one night quickly turned to another, then another.

Chris didn't seem to mind, and some nights Phichit tagged along and slept in one of the guest bedrooms. The four of them had been getting along beautifully. Yuuri hadn’t known Chris past the few interactions they’d had at competitions. But over the last month they’d gotten close, bonding over their prep for Worlds and Chris’ embarrassing stories of Victor’s college days.

“What do you say, Yuuri? Should we head to bed?” The heat in Victor’s gaze held so much promise that Yuuri found himself nodding, almost tripping on his oil-slicked feet in his haste to get upstairs.

* * *

Victor loved that Yuuri was his model. He knew every dip and curve of Yuuri’s body intimately, now as both his lover and an artist. Yuuri never denied Victor when he asked him to pose just for him in the privacy of Victor’s room. Yuuri seemed to love the attention just as much as Victor loved to draw him.

What Victor didn’t love was how hard it was becoming to keep his composure in class. With every passing day, Victor was finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate on his students when his very beautiful and very naked boyfriend was lying a few feet in front of him. Yuuri was still adamant about his ‘no sex at school’ rule, yet he seemed keen on testing Victor’s limits, whether he realized it or not.

Like today for instance: Yuuri chose to pose on his stomach with his legs kicked up. The position was one that Victor had seen hundreds of time in textbooks and by other live models. The distracting part was it was the exact same position Yuuri had posed in for Victor last night.

So all he could think about in class was Yuuri laying on his bed in the same pose the night before, begging Victor to hurry. Victor had had every intention of finishing his drawing before showing Yuuri just how much he appreciated Yuuri modeling for him, but in the end his lust had won out. Each time Victor had looked over at Yuuri in class, the image of their passionate night that followed filled his mind. Needless to say, it was incredibly distracting.

“What are you thinking about?” Yuuri asked, snapping Victor out of his thoughts.  

“How amazing you are.”

Yuuri scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Oh, is that all?”

“Mhmm.” Victor checked the time and sighed. “We only have a few more minutes before we need to head back to the studio.”

“Then I’d better finish this quickly.” Yuuri waved around his sandwich before taking another bite.

“Do you want to come over tonight?”

Every time Victor asked the question, Yuuri’s cheeks turned a beautiful shade of pink.

 “I can’t tonight. I have plans with Phichit.”

Victor immediately felt terrible for asking. Yuuri had told him a couple times about his plans with Phichit, but he kept forgetting. “Oh right, you’re going out for drinks or something?”

Yuuri nodded, looking guilty. "I don't really feel like going, but I haven't spent time alone with Phichit for a while.”

“I’m sorry, that’s my fault. I’m taking up all your time.” Victor had been enjoying his nights with Yuuri immensely. Going to sleep cuddled together and waking up to Yuuri’s cute snoring was everything Victor had ever wanted. Yuuri, too, seemed content with their arrangements. Most mornings Yuuri would try to wake up with Victor, but usually, Yuuri would give Victor a kiss, mumble a good morning, and fall back asleep.

“No, you’re not," Yuuri muttered between bites of his sandwich. "Besides, I like you taking up all my time.”

Victor knew he was grinning like a fool, but he didn’t care. He was completely and utterly smitten. Even though he hadn’t told Yuuri how he felt yet he could feel the love between them grow a little every day. If Victor’s suspicions were correct, his feelings for Yuuri were reciprocated. He was itching to speak the words his heart had been longing to share, but Victor also wanted his declaration to be romantic. He wasn’t sure when the perfect opportunity would present itself, but when it did, Victor would take advantage of it. “Well if you want, you’re welcome to come over after.”

“But you hate staying up late.” Yuuri countered as he brushed the crumbs from his sandwich off his lap. “Plus the buses don’t run to your house that late.”

“Yes, but I always sleep better when you’re with me.” _And I miss you when you’re not_ , Victor thought. “I can pick you up whenever you’re ready to come home.”

“Home?” Yuuri smiled and put a hand on Victor’s knee. “I’d love to.”

Victor felt his whole body flush. He’d never really thought of Detroit as home—Russia was home. But since the accident, even that felt like a lie. There were always too many people missing for Victor to really feel like he was home. Yet somehow in the time he’d been with Yuuri, that had changed. Whenever Yuuri was around, Victor felt lighter—like for the first time, in a long time, Victor was truly happy. 

* * *

“So, tell me, Yuuri.” Phichit slurred a little as he put his drink on the table. “How great is the sex with the hottest man alive?”

Yuuri rolled his eyes and took another sip from his own drink. “Great. Can we talk about something else?”

“No, no, no.” Phichit waved a finger at him like a mother scolding a child. “We’re talking about this right now. I want deets.”

Yuuri looked around the bar for their waiter. If they were going to talk about this, Yuuri was going to need another drink. “Why do you want to know so badly?”

"Um, if I were fucking sex on legs, I’d tell you about it.” Phichit grinned and leaned a little closer to Yuuri. “Besides, I’ve totally heard you two, and I'm dying to know more."

“Oh my god, no you haven’t.” Yuuri usually knew when Phichit was lying, and he was almost certain this was one of those times.

"Remember that time Chris hooked up DDR and you and Victor went to get more snacks?" Yuuri flushed at the memory. “Since when does getting chips and dip take almost thirty minutes?”

“It wasn’t thirty minutes,” Yuuri said, running his finger along the rim of his glass. “It was probably closer to twenty, and I was so paranoid one of you would come up to check on us."

Phichit laughed hard enough that Yuuri could help but chuckle along. “See that’s what I’m talking about. You guys have been at it like rabbits.”

“We have not.” Yuuri bit his lip, trying to hold back a smile. “We’re just…”

“Horny?” Phichit chuckled and rested his elbows on the table.

“No, happy. We’re just really happy.”

Phichit took a long pull from his straw before responding. “And I’m happy for you. You deserve to be happy. Chris thinks so too. Apparently, Victor’s the happiest Chris has ever seen him and that’s all because of you.”

"Speaking of Chris," Yuuri smirked, thankful for the opportunity take the heat off himself. “Why haven’t you made a move on him yet?”

Phichit scoffed, “Because he’s not interested in me.”

“But you guys flirt constantly.” Every time the four of them were together, Phichit and Chris would flirt shamelessly with each other—so much so that Victor and Yuuri had a bet on how long it would take for them to get together. Victor bet they had already and weren't telling them, but Yuuri knew Phichit. He'd admired Chris for years, and he would’ve screamed it to the world if they'd gotten together.

“That’s just Chris,” Phichit tried to wave off the comment, but Yuuri wouldn't let him.

“Yes, Chris is flirty, but with you it’s different.”

For a moment, Phichit looked like he was going to argue the point further. Instead, Phichit took his drink, gulped it down, and slammed the glass on the table. “Ugh, I think I drank too much.”

“I told you not to order doubles.” Yuuri knew better than to push Phichit. They’d drop the subject for now, but Yuuri knew it was a matter of time. He saw the way the two of them looked at each other, but with the stress of Worlds just around the corner, it seemed neither of them was willing to make the first move. After the competition, Yuuri was sure one of them would cave and pursue the other. Until then, Yuuri would wait.

“Let’s get the bill and text your sexy boyfriend to pick us up.”

* * *

The fire happened with World’s less than a week away. Victor had been holding office hours, attempting to placate a group of students grumbling about their midterm marks, when Yuuri called with the news. Yuuri never called him during the day, and for a moment Victor thought the worst.

“Sorry, I need to take this.” Victor ignored the strange looks his students gave him as he stood to step out into the hall.

“Yuuri?” Victor whispered into the phone, closing his office door behind him. “Are you okay?”

“Yes and no.” Victor could hear other people talking in the background and the blare of sirens in the distance. “But I think I’m homeless.”

“You’re _what_?” Victor said a bit too loudly, making the girls walking by in the hallway look in his direction.

“We’re not exactly sure what happened yet but someone either left a candle going or had a space heater on and their room caught fire. No one was hurt, but I'm pretty sure my room is at best completely soaked, and at worst totally singed.”

“That’s horrible, Yuuri! What about your laptop? Your skates? _Your costumes!”_

“They’re all fine.” Yuuri sounded a lot calmer than Victor felt.

“Phichit had already left for class, so he had his stuff with him, and I grabbed our important things when the alarm went off. I could smell the smoke, so I knew it wasn’t just a drill.”

“Yuuri, that was dangerous. You _leave_ if you think there’s a fire.” A million thoughts were racing through Victor’s head. The two most prominent were anger that Yuuri could have been hurt and relief that he wasn’t.

“I know,” Yuuri sighed. “The fire department already gave most of us a lecture.”

“Was anyone hurt?”

"No, everyone's fine, but I don't think anyone can go back into the building for a while.”

“What are they going to do for you guys?”

There was a long pause before Yuuri said, “I don’t know. They ordered buses so we don't freeze out here, but they haven’t told us much. Someone said something about going to a hotel, but we're not sure yet."

“Why don’t you and Phichit come live with us?” Victor offered, knowing Chris would agree in a heartbeat. “Just until everything gets sorted.”

"We can't do that." Yuuri's voice shook, and Victor wished he was there.

"Of course you can. You've basically been living with us already, and we'll all be leaving for Toronto next week anyway.” Victor had rearranged his schedule and prerecorded his lectures to go Worlds with the skaters. He hadn’t seen Chris compete in years and he wanted to cheer Yuuri and his friends on. Plus, another trip away with Yuuri, even if it was for skating, was a welcome vacation.

“Shouldn’t you ask Chris?”

"I know he'll say yes, but I can call him now if you'd like?"

Yuuri sighed, “Yes please.”

When Victor called Chris, he offered for Yuuri and Phichit to stay with them before Victor even got a chance to ask. No one had been allowed back into the dorms, so Phichit and Yuuri arrived at Chris and Victor's with nothing more than their backpacks and the few things Yuuri had managed to grab. Luckily Yuuri had left a few things at Victor’s, having spent so many nights there, but Phichit wasn’t as fortunate. Phichit only had the workout clothes from his locker at the rink and the clothes he was wearing the day of the fire. Chris, thankfully, was similar in size and offered Phichit access to his closet until they got back into their dorm.

When they finally were allowed back in a few days later, Victor didn’t go with Yuuri for obvious reasons. On top of not wanting to be seen with Yuuri outside of class, Victor had a ton of work to get through, so instead Chris offered to help collect what they could. They returned a few hours later with a couple garbage bags full of clothes and personal effects that smelled like mildew and smoke, but most of their stuff got ruined. Textbooks, posters, bedding—all completely unsalvageable.

“Thank god I saved our costumes or we’d have nothing for Worlds," Yuuri commented as he dropped the last bag of his stuff into Victor's room. Chris had a few guest bedrooms for Yuuri and Phichit to choose from, but Victor offered for Yuuri to say in his room and Yuuri had accepted.

"I probably could have helped," Victor said while trying to clear another drawer for Yuuri. “It wouldn’t have been anything elaborate or totally from scratch, but we would have come up with something. I made all of my brother’s costumes for him myself.”

“You did?”

“Yeah,” Victor couldn’t close his bottom drawer all the way, but he managed to clear most of the top two drawers. “I considered being a designer for a bit while in my undergrad, but I didn’t pursue it.”

“Why not?” Yuuri asked, sitting on the bed.

Victor shrugged, taking a seat next to Yuuri. “At the time I was more interested in my art.”

“What about now?”

“I haven’t really thought about it seriously.” While that was true, Victor had been thinking about what he wanted to do after this semester. Yuuri would likely be searching for a new coach, and Victor knew he'd follow if Yuuri let him. They hadn’t talked about it since before Yuuri left for Japan and Victor hadn’t wanted to bring it up until after Worlds. Victor didn’t really care where he lived or what he did, as long as he was with Yuuri. He hoped Yuuri felt the same.

Their conversation diverted to other things before Victor and Yuuri got ready for bed. It was elating knowing Yuuri would be spending the night, every night, for the foreseeable future. With a smile and Yuuri’s head on Victor's chest, Victor dreamed for once of the future instead of the past.

* * *

It was a Saturday and all Yuuri wanted to do was to sleep in. They'd be leaving for Worlds in a few days and Yuuri wanted to spend the weekend relaxing with Victor. He'd finished all of his assignments, and they had planned to stay in and watch movies all day with Makka. Instead, Yuuri awoke early to the sound of the shower and Victor’s phone. Even though Victor’s phone was on vibrate, the constant buzzing on the night table made Yuuri reach for it in an attempt to shut it up. When he saw the incoming call and Russian letters, Yuuri sat up.

“Victor, someone’s calling you!” Yuuri shouted, hoping Victor could hear him over the shower.

“Who is it?”

“I think it’s someone from Russia.”

The water turned off and the door to the bathroom opened to reveal a very wet and very naked Victor. “Can you answer? I’ll be out in a sec.”

The ringing stopped, and for a moment Yuuri felt relieved. He'd never spoken to anyone from Victor's family—except for the one time Yuri yelled at him in the bathroom, but that didn’t really count. When the ringing started again, Yuuri nearly dropped the phone. “They’re calling again!”

“Answer it, love!” Victor said with a laugh. “They won’t bite.”

Hesitantly, Yuuri answered the call and put the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

Yuuri’s voice sounded weak to his own ears, but whoever was on the other line seemed to have not heard or cared. The women started speaking in panicked Russian that Yuuri couldn’t ever have hoped to translate. 

“I’m sorry, Victor will be here in a moment.” Yuuri tried in English.

“Who is this?” The woman asked with a Russian accent much thicker than Victor’s. “Are you Victor’s lover?”

“Um,” Yuuri tried to think of words. Anything at all. But nothing came out.

“Where’s Victor?" The woman ignored Yuuri's stammering, and Yuuri wanted to sink into the bed and never leave. "I need to speak to him _now_.”

“Victor!” Yuuri tried to untangle himself from the sheets to get the phone to Victor.

“Who is it?” Victor met Yuuri halfway and grabbed the phone, checking the screen before bringing it to his ear. “Lilia wh –"

From where Yuuri was standing, he could hear the woman yelling. Almost instantly, Victor’s calm expression morphed into shock and he began yelling back. Yuuri couldn’t understand a word between them, but it was clear both parties were upset about something. Victor took the phone away from his ear and put the woman on speaker as he checked his screen for something. Yuuri felt his heart in his throat as he watched Victor's expression morph from panic to confusion to irritation.

“Yuuri, get dressed, we have to go.” Victor sounded angry, but it was clear that anger wasn't directed at him. 

“Go where?” Yuuri asked quietly.

“Yuri? Your lover’s name is Yuri?” Lilia said in English.

Victor yanked open his drawer so hard he almost pulled it out of the dresser. “Yes, Lilia, Yuuri is my _boyfriend,_ not my lover.”

“Lover, boyfriend, same thing,” Lilia scoffed. There was a pause, and Yuuri wasn’t sure if he should say something or keep quiet.

Victor switched back to Russian again, and Yuuri wished for a moment he could understand what they were saying. He wasn’t sure if Victor was saying something to his aunt about him or if they were continuing their previous conversation. They talked for a few more minutes before Lilia again switched to English. “And if you can still hear me, Yuuri, Yakov and I are excited to meet you at Worlds.”

The line went dead, and Victor tossed it onto the bed.

“What does she mean?” Yuuri managed as Victor threw him a pair of jeans and one of Victor’s shirts.

“It’s a long story,” Victor huffed as he put a shirt over his still-damp chest. “But it looked like my bother overheard an argument between Lilia and Yakov and got upset. Yuri stole Yakov’s credit card to buy a plane ticket to come to Detroit. He lands in an hour.”

“What?” Yuuri pulled on his jeans and Victor threw a pair of socks on the bed for Yuuri as he sat to put on his own.

"I'll explain more in the car, but for now we need to go.”

* * *

Yuri had done some reckless things in his short life. But buying a first-class ticket to Detroit and leaving without telling anyone took the cake. Though Victor wasn’t as mad as he probably should have been—he was worried.

If Victor had only been around his phone more yesterday, he would have seen that his brother had tried to call and text him several times. Victor's attention had been on Yuuri and helping him sort through his and Phichit’s damaged belongings. He felt like a failure. Yuri always picked up the phone when Victor needed him. It didn’t matter if it was the middle of the night or if Yuri was busy. He always made time for Victor. The one time Yuri reached out to Victor, Victor wasn’t there.

None of the texts Yuri had sent said anything about coming to Detroit, only that Yuri needed to talk to him and to call back as soon as possible. Of course, when Victor did call back after shortly hanging up with Lilia, Yuri’s phone was off.  By the time Yakov and Lilia had figured out Yuri was missing, he was already more than halfway across the Atlantic.

“So he just left Russia without telling anyone?” Yuuri asked after Victor explained everything Lilia had told him.

“Apparently,” Victor sighed, running his fingers through his hair, “Yuri had overheard Lilia and Yakov fighting about something. When I was away for school and things between Yakov and Lilia got hairy, my brother would come and stay with me for a few days until things blew over between them. But a four-hour train ride is not the same as an international flight.” 

“It will be okay.” Yuuri’s voice was soft as he placed a hand on Victor’s thigh and squeezed.

Even though Victor was on edge, the gesture made him relax a fraction. “I know. He can just be so impulsive sometimes.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Yuuri asked. Victor’s gaze was focused on the road, so he missed Yuuri’s smirk. “He's a lot like someone else we know."

“Who? Chris?”

Yuuri laughed. “No, you.”

Victor spared a glance at Yuuri. “I’m not that impulsive.”

"You took a job in a different country because your best friend suggested it. You hired me after barely asking me any questions. And for our first date, you asked me to dinner that same night because I didn’t have anything healthy in my shopping cart.”

Victor smiled and grabbed Yuuri’s hand. “Okay, maybe I’m a little impulsive. But if I hadn’t done all that we wouldn’t be where we are now.”

Yuuri laced their fingers together and squeezed. “Exactly. Everything will work itself out.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” 

* * *

Yuuri watched as Victor paced in front of him. Nothing Yuuri said seemed to help. When they’d arrived at the airport, Yuri's flight had already landed, but Yuri hadn't called them yet.

“We should have heard from him by now," Victor muttered, stopping to reread the arrivals board. 

“Would you like some coffee?” Yuuri asked gently. He wasn't sure how to help Victor in this situation, but neither of them had eaten breakfast yet. “I can grab us some bagels or something.”

Victor sighed and turned towards Yuuri. “No. Unless you’re hungry.”

Yuuri was starving, but he wasn't about to leave Victor if he needed him. “No, it’s okay. I can wait.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about food.” Victor’s eyes darted around the airport, scanning their surroundings. “You’re always ravenous in the morning.”

“I’m not that hungry, I can wait.” Yuuri tried, but Victor seemed to see through him.

Victor took out his wallet and handed it to Yuuri. “Get whatever you want, and I wouldn’t mind a coffee. Do you mind grabbing me one and maybe a hot chocolate for Yuri? He should be here soon anyway, and we can grab food somewhere close once he gets here.”

“Sure,” Yuuri said, pocketing the wallet. “Do you want anything else?”

“No, my love.” Victor gave Yuuri a small smile. “Thank you.”

Yuuri returned the smile and followed his nose to find breakfast. Smells of freshly baked bread and coffee wafted down the hall, making Yuuri’s stomach growl. Thankfully the line was short—Yuuri didn’t want to leave Victor alone for long.

In his haste to leave this morning, Yuuri had left his wallet in Victor’s room. Waiting in line, Yuuri opened Victor's wallet and scanned the contents. Aside from his credit card, money, his ID and a few other cards, there wasn't much inside. Yuuri placed their order and paid for it using the cash in Victor’s wallet. When he took out the money, a piece of paper fell to the floor. Yuuri knelt to pick it up and turned it over to see it was a picture of Victor’s family.

Yuuri immediately recognized Victor with his crystal blue eyes and heart-shaped smile. Next to him was Vera. She looked so much like Victor and it made Yuuri's heart ache. Victor’s mother had the same long silver hair as her children, but her eyes were sea green instead of the blue the twins shared. In her arms was a baby Yuuri assumed to be Yuri, and next to her was a man with dirty blond hair and a thick beard. In the few times Victor had talked about Dimitri, this was not the man Yuuri had pictured. In Victor's stories, Dimitri sounded soft and tender. Yuuri would have never imagined Dimitri to look like a rugged angry lumberjack. The contrast made Yuuri laugh before he realized he’d never get the chance to meet Dimitri, or Victor’s mother, or Vera.

Yuuri tucked the picture back in the wallet as the barista called for Yuuri to pick up his order. As he walked back to Victor, it hit him just how much Victor and Yuri had lost in that accident. Yuuri had yet to experience the pain of losing a loved one. He couldn’t imagine losing his parents or sister, let alone all of them in one tragic night. Yuuri had heard Victor tell him of the accident and his grief, but for the first time, Yuuri really felt the gravity of that loss.

Although Yuuri would never get the chance to meet all of Victor’s loved ones, he wanted to make the most of Yuri’s visit. Maybe once things settled down Yuuri would call his parents and arrange a Skype call for his family to meet Victor. He'd never talked to his parents about his love life since there had never been anyone worth mentioning. Now that there was, Yuuri wanted his family to meet him.

* * *

When Yuri got off the plane, he was tired, cranky, and entirely alone. He didn't really have a plan for how he was going to find his brother, but he hoped that if he called Victor would answer this time. Yuri knew he should have gotten in touch with Victor before he arrived. Victor would have never tried to talk Yuri out of coming. Yuri and Victor understood each other.

Despite all the years they spent apart, the brothers were extremely close. Yuri saw Victor's pain behind all the fake cheer, and Victor saw Yuri's love behind his prickly exterior. He didn't care if his parents were mad. Yuri knew he'd be grounded and scolded once he talked to his parents, but right now, he didn't care.

Switching on his phone, Yuri ignored the influx of texts and missed calls and called his brother. Thankfully Victor answered on the first ring. "Yurio, where are you?”

Yuri felt his throat tighten. Hearing his childhood nickname roll off his brother's tongue and his tender yet worried tone made tears prick at Yuri's eyes. "Vitya."

“I’m so sorry I missed your calls yesterday.”

Yuri wanted to say it was okay, but it wasn’t. He was mad at Victor for not being there when he needed him. But his anger towards Victor was minor in comparison to his anger at his parents. Right now, his brother was the lesser of two evils. “I just got off a plane. I’m in Detroit.”

“I know, Lilia called. We’ll have to talk about this later, but I’m waiting for you at the arrivals gate.”

Exhaling, Yuri grabbed his bag and followed the throng of people towards his brother. “Thank you, Vitya.”

Yuri saw Victor before his brother saw him. It had been almost two years since they’d seen each other last, but for the most part Victor looked the same. Something about him seemed different, but at a glance, Yuri couldn’t tell what it was. When their eyes met, the tension in Victor's expression melted and he began to speed walk towards Yuri.

Yuri, too, found himself walking a bit faster until he collided with his brother. Even on a good day, Yuri wasn't a very affectionate person. But right now he needed the security of his brother’s embrace. Victor smelled like warmth and safety, and it took everything in Yuri not to break down and cry. Thankfully Victor didn’t ask Yuri any questions. He just hugged him until Yuri pulled away.

Feeling self-conscious, Yuuri looked around to see if anyone was staring at them. All around them were people waiting for or greeting loved ones. Scanning the crowd, Yuri was shocked to see that behind Victor, walking towards them, was Yuuri Freaking Katsuki. Yuri knew the Japanese skater trained in Detroit, but what were the chances of them running into each other in the airport of all places?

“Vitya, we should go.” Yuri had only spoken to his idol once, and he'd been so angry he’d just yelled at Yuuri. He'd seen how amazing Yuuri could skate, but for whatever reason that day he'd skated like he didn't care. Yuri didn't know why it made him so angry, but he knew he wanted to skate on the same ice as Yuuri one day and that would never happen if Yuuri lost his love of the ice. Yuri had wanted the next time they spoke to be after he’d competed in the senior division against Yuuri, not when Yuri was an emotional mess and would probably make a fool of himself again.

“Yuuri should be back any moment. He went to get us some hot drinks.” Victor said, grabbing one of Yuri’s bags from him.

“Yuuri?” Yuri felt the blood drain from his face as Yuuri continued to get closer and waved at him.

“Yeah, my boyfriend. I can’t wait for you to meet him. Or I guess meet him again since I hear you two already know each other.” Victor winked and for a second Yuri wanted to turn around get on the next plane to home.

“You’re dating _Yuuri Katsuki_? And you’re just telling me _now!_ ”

Victor laughed. “I tried to tell you about him, but you never wanted to hear about my love life.”

Yuri cringed, remembering that Victor had mentioned something about seeing someone a few times, but he had no idea it was Yuuri Freaking Katsuki.

Yuuri smiled nervously, and once he was close enough, said timidly, “Hi.”

“Yuuri, right on time.” Victor plucked a drink from the tray Yuuri was carrying and took a sip. “Ew, this is pure sugar.”

"That one's mine." Yuuri's cheeks turned pink as he grabbed another from the tray and handed it to Victor. "Here's your bitter black coffee.”

“How can you not like the taste of coffee.” Yuri watched his brother’s eyes spark with a warmth he’d never seen before.

“Because it tastes like dirty dish waster.” Yuuri smiled back at Victor, and for a moment it seemed both of them forgot Yuri was still standing there slack-jawed. Not only was his brother dating Yuuri Freaking Katsuki but it seemed his brother was _in love_ with his idol and Yuuri was just as smitten. Victor had some explaining to do—but first Yuri wanted a shower and a nap.

“I got you a hot chocolate, Yuri.” Yuuri looked over at Yuri and handed him a warm paper cup.

“Hmm, having two Yuuri’s in the house will get confusing.” Victor tsked.

Yuri almost dropped his cup. “Wait, you guys are _living together?_ ”

Yuuri blushed darker, and Yuri watched his brother practically glow with happiness. "Yes! Yuuri and Phichit are living with Chris and me for the time being."

“Phichit Chulanont?” Yuri followed Phichit on all of his social media accounts. They’d never met before, but he knew Yuuri and Phichit were rink mates at a sports college in Detroit. “Wait, do you all go to the same school?”

“Yes,” Victor looked to Yuuri. “I teach at the same school that Chris, Yuuri, and Phichit attend.”

“So, is that how you two met? Through Chris?”

Victor coughed and avoided Yuri’s stare. “Um, not exactly.”

Both Victor and Yuuri looked uncomfortable as they exited the airport. The Detroit air was cold, but nowhere near as cold as it had been in Russia. Based on the weird glances Yuuri and Victor were giving each other, Yuri wasn’t totally sure he wanted to know the story of how they met, but his curiosity got the best of him. “Explain. NOW.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still a bit of a wait but not as long this time!! All the thank yous to my beta [rinablanket](https://rinablanket.tumblr.com/) and to [LittleDancer8](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleDancer8/pseuds/LittleDancer8) for helping me with this chapter! WE HAVE MORE ART AND OMG ITS BEAUTIFUL! Thank you so so much [Antares](https://twitter.com/Antarespromise)!! Go check out the rest of her art guys its amazing! 
>
>> Your Muse. Story by: [@Dedica6](https://twitter.com/Dedica6?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw). <https://t.co/bGA1rG0wYt> [pic.twitter.com/EkhVMPmDe2](https://t.co/EkhVMPmDe2)
>> 
>> — Antares (@Antarespromise) [February 27, 2019](https://twitter.com/Antarespromise/status/1100573332427165697?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)


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